Daily Reflections

If you would like to receive these daily reflections (written by various parishioners) in your email box each day, contact darcy.wharton@rocklincatholic.org

We are now selling a year's worth of our own parishioner's Daily Reflections in a wonderful book entitled, "The Chimes".  You can purchase a copy in the parish office for $10.  Makes a great gift!


































Reflections for Nov. 28-Dec. 4, 2022

November 28, 2022 - KonMari Method for the Soul
I often go on organizing purges in my home. It is my way keeping clutter and my life under control. Sometimes I’m unable to part with items or clothes that I haven’t worn or used in years. They will continue to collect dust in case I “need them someday” or “someone gave this to me”.  After reading Marie Kondo’s book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I realized there was a wonderful process for letting items go. She recommends that you embrace the each item you are sorting through and feel whether it is bringing you joy. If so, you keep it. If not, you thank it for the joy it brought you in the past and release it. She calls this the “KonMari” technique. It is a brilliant way to help manage your belongings by weighing the usefulness and sentimental value of items and then making a choice to keep them or to honor them and let them go.

As a Christian, after reflecting on this technique, I can see how this works with events and people in our lives. God wants  me to hold the things close that bring me joy but let go of those things that have become a burden or painful. He asks me to forgive others while he offers me his grace and forgiveness. He gifted me with the Holy Spirit to help discern these things in my life.  I think a little KonMari for the soul would be a great routine to incorporate into any Christian’s life.
Jen Payan


November 29, 2022 - A Request for Help
Recently I was preparing one of my tiny preemie patients for a central IV line insertion. The nurse specialist who would be inserting the line said she was going to step out for a minute while I gave the infant some medication to relax and put the baby in a comfortable swaddle.  She returned, donned her sterile attire, and started the procedure. With ease she cannulated the tiniest vein in the infant’s arm and threaded a hair sized catheter all the way to a targeted area right above the heart. I let out a sigh of relief, having assisted in many of these insertions that can take hours and multiple attempts. I complemented her on her success. Her response really touched me. She shared that her routine before starting the procedure was a drink of water, a bathroom break, and a prayer that God help guide her.

This was such a great reminder to me of how I can use prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit in my practice more often. A quick prayer can be the calm I need and provide the guidance to act and make the right decisions. It can calm my fears, help me focus, and even steady my hands. Hopefully, we can all remember that whether the task is large or small, God will have our backs!
Jen Payan

November 30, 2022 - God-given Talents
While viewing some family vacation photos recently, I came across a few very special ones of my brothers.

The first was of my brother Paul, who is an amazing storyteller. I observed my children, nieces, and nephews all circled around him mesmerized by one of his tales. They were sitting quiet and captivated during long wait at a restaurant. He had created a character named Johnny Bobo who had all sorts of adventures that my brother would make up as he went along. Throughout their early years the children would be asking Uncle Paul to tell them a story about Johnny at every opportunity.

Then there were some photos of my brother Patrick, who can build or fix just about anything. These pictures were taken during a camping trip. He is helping each of the children chop kindling. With each one, he patiently held his hand around their small one guiding the hatchet with each chop. I can see my daughter’s little tongue sticking out in concentration as she tries to strike the wood in the correct spot. Uncle Patrick always knew how to teach them by letting them get their hands and minds involved.

Observing these photos, I’m reminded of how my brothers’ talents differ but how both are so enriching to the children. God gives each one of us very different gifts, but all gifts are meant to serve and enrich. I need to appreciate and use what I have been given and embrace those who have different talents.
Jen Payan

December 1, 2022 - Same Day Surgery
My son Michael had to get tubes placed in his ears when he was 18 months old.

Keep in mind that I’m a trauma nurse, who has seen just about everything. I’ve rushed people to operating rooms while providing breathes with a bag through an endotracheal tube. I’ve started IVs and used rapid infusers to deliver blood as quickly as possible while calmly telling a family what I was doing.

But now I was sitting in outpatient surgery with my littlest boy on my lap and starting to sweat. The anesthesiologist came in and asked me about my baby’s health and described how he would put a mask over Mikey’s face and deliver a gas to sedate him for the procedure. For some reason, at the thought of this, I began to sweat even more profusely, my face tingled, and I started seeing whiteness. I handed Mikey to my husband and put my head between my knees to keep from passing out. Fear had completely incapacitated me.

It is shocking the intensity of love and fear we have for our children. I try to remember this when I come across a scripture reading that describes God’s love for his children. Then I take it a step further, remembering that he allowed his only son suffer for us and watched as He did so.
Jen Payan

December 2, 2022 - Our Brothers’ Keeper
Every Friday my gym selects a veteran or public service officer who died in the line of duty to honor. A few weeks ago it was the story of Marine Captain Brandon Barrett. He died a young man during only his 2^nd tour of duty. What I was taken by, was a story about his 1^st tour of duty in Afghanistan. He obviously felt a deep responsibility for the group that he led. He was so committed to keeping his soldiers safe that he wrote letters to all of their parents, assuring them that he would take care of their children. They all returned safely.

Captain Barrett was committed to being his brothers’ keeper, which is what God asks of all of us. If I assure the wellbeing of those around me, I would truly be treating each person as God intended. Capt. Barrett kept this in mind in the stressful environment of war while he was under pressure and fatigued.  If he could hold to this standard during such difficult times, I can certainly  strive for this in my daily lives.

Thank you to Captain Barrett for your example and to all our veterans who demonstrate these same values.
Jen Payan

December 3, 2022 - A Place of Privilege
Nurses try never let their patients die alone. In my many years of working critical care there seemed to be an unspoken agreement among us that we would assure someone was present when family couldn’t be there. There were times when family simply could not get there on time or the patient didn’t have anyone. Sometimes it was just too difficult emotionally for loved ones to be at the bedside. This is when nurses step in.

I recall one of my co-workers being busy with an admission while her other patient, who had requested not to be resuscitated, was in his final moments of life. She grabbed me and asked if I could sit with him as a relief nurse. The ICU was chaotic and noisy that day so I closed the doors of the room and dimmed the lights. I just sat and held his hand while he passed.  

In my years working in the ICU this memory stands out above many others. I remember how quiet and peaceful it was and how thankful I felt that one of us was available to sit with him. Most importantly, I came to the realization that being in that moment was one of the greatest gifts and privileges God has given me as a health care worker. Now I always hold the times that I’m with the dying very dear.
Jen Payan

December 4, 2022 - An Enormous Responsibility
Years ago I attended a presentation at a trauma conference about rescue efforts in the wake of the Oklahoma City bombing. I was moved by a story of a rescue worker who had the huge responsibility of viewing a specific point of the crumbled building through a scope. It was his job to order evacuation of the rescue workers if he observed the slightest shift in the rubble. Any shift could result in an entire building collapse that would put hundreds of workers in danger.

One afternoon, he sounded the alarm and an evacuation began. His team came to check on the building status and found him pale and sweaty. He was shaking and starting to cry.  They viewed the points through the scope but found no change or movement. It was deemed safe for everyone to return to the rescue effort. It was only then that they realized they needed to shorten the viewing shifts and provide better support for those who had been assigned to the task. They hadn’t considered the enormous stress of holding so many lives in the balance and the emotional fatigue related to it.

I was moved by this story in a few ways. First, it demonstrates the extreme conditions and responsibilities that certain professions share and gives me great respect. It also brought my attention to being aware of the needs of the people around me. Like the rescue worker, some are experiencing this type of stress and fear constantly. Not only do we need to be able to recognize the signs of stress and fatigue in others but also in ourselves. I may need to “shorten my shift”. I may need to seek emotional support or provide support to someone in need. I ask that God helps me recognize that in myself and as well as in others.
Jen Payan



Reflections for Nov. 21-27, 2022
November 21, 2022 - Thankful
  Though Spring is my favorite time of year, my next favorite is Fall.  As the trees turn from green to yellow, rust, and red, I am witness to the awesome gift that God has given us.  A person can sit and ponder the universe, the ever-changing landscape, the life and death of plants and trees as the seasons change, and they can also ponder the people whom He has breathed life into.  And then in Spring comes the renewal, and the promise of God to his people.  The gift of new life, the bursting forth of His creation, and the realization of His covenant.  This week will be a special one, as we give thanks for the blessings that have been bestowed on us. I am reminded of Thanksgivings of long ago when it was meaningful to give thanks.  Today some have turned it into a four day weekend of skiing, pre-Christmas shopping, decorating, travel, football, and Christmas parades. We have brushed aside the gift of love and tolerance as pilgrims sat down with native Americans to celebrate jointly the gift of friendship and thanksgiving for a bountiful harvest. 
So whether I look at the changing colors of the trees in my own backyard or travel to Vermont to witness the fall colors, I will appreciate the wonder of God in all that I do, and all that he has done for me.
Don Eagle
 
November 22, 2022 – USS Arizona
  A few weeks ago we joined my daughter and her family on a trip to Hawaii.  Our goal was to see our granddaughter who attends the University on the island of Oahu.  Another goal was to visit the Memorial of the USS Arizona located in Pearl Harbor.  This great Battleship was attacked and sunk on December 7, 1941.  She went to the bottom in nine minutes, carrying over a thousand sailors to their deaths and triggering the American participation in the Second World War.  She rests there still today, a cemetery to the sailors that went down with her.  It’s a very solemn site, and during your visit you are given a Hawaiian flower to drop into the water above the wreck.  Personally, I couldn’t help but think of God as I dropped my flower.  In a way, we were giving  homage to the crew of the Arizona, but we were also thinking of God opening the gates of heaven to so many who gave their lives so that we might live our  lives as we ought.  So that’s where the thanksgiving comes in.  Thanking and appreciating the men entombed below, thanking all those who keep their memory alive, and thanking God for our family, our friends, and for all those who protect us from harm. 
Don Eagle

November 23, 2022 - Men’s Day of Faith
  Each year St. Mel’s Church in Fair Oaks hosts a Men’s Day of Faith.  This year Karlo Broussard, one of the most dynamic Catholic speakers around, spoke about the role of men in today’s church.  He points out that as head of a family, a man must work to satisfy a relationship with God by being a man of prayer, a man of the sacraments, and a man of study.  Further he works to do so for others by praying for and with the family, exhorting the family in the ways of the Lord, and finally, teaching his family the mysteries of faith. It was all interesting, but perhaps one of the highlights of his talk was when he spoke about truth, and how we are so wrapped up in current mores, that we fail to get to the bottom line and see the absolute truth handed down in sacred Scripture.  
 As part of his talk, Mr. Broussard pointed out the increasing importance of women in the church and wondered if men were losing their roles as leaders in their families.  He continued to say that men should not give up their duties as spiritual guides for their families, but along with their wives, should focus on helping their families recognize both the meaning and value of scripture and the sacraments.  As society changes, we should not lose track of the importance of the male role in both the family and the church.  I would encourage men from our parish to take part in this event.         
Don Eagle
 
November 24, 2022 -Thanksgiving
  Many families celebrate thanksgiving by sitting around the table, and before the meal is served, each person gives their thanks.  Mom would appreciate that the meal all turned out on time and done to perfection.  Dad would give thanks for the boys coming home from the war safely (he actually did this for a number of years) and my brother and I would make up something quickly. Grandma Rose was the most memorable of all:  she would give thanks that she would be with us again this year, but you never know if she’ll be with us again next year.  She was 65.  We heard this for the next 27 years, and each year wondered if this was indeed her last year. What was not mentioned was the most important of all:  the thanks of a healthy, together family that was indeed blessed to be together.  After all the thanks were said, the turkey, mashed potatoes and rutabagas were cold, and the lefse was dried out.  My favorites were Grandmas Rose’s stuffing and Mom’s pumpkin and mince meat pies. There was no television, no watching the Macy’s parade and there wasn’t a lot of travel going on. And there was no such thing as a black Friday.  So, here we were, watching the snow fall, being family, sitting around the radio, and listening to Edgar Bergen.  Those circumstances brought us all closer together and Thanksgiving was a special time.  It truly gave us all something to be thankful for.  Thank you, God for those beautiful memories and for always being there for me.                                                                
Don Eagle

November 25, 2022 - Pre-Christmas
  Very soon we’ll be celebrating Christmas. Actually, many merchants have been celebrating Christmas since the 4th of July.  The Thanksgiving turkey has hardly cooled off before stores open their doors to early shopping, and the tree goes up, the lights go on, and Christmas becomes a designer’s delight.  It does make you stop and ponder what some of these Christmas items have to do with Christmas at all.  I mean, give me a break.  Red pickup trucks?  Clowns? Elves? Blue or shiny trees?  Peacock feathers?  No, long ago I zeroed in on the Nativity set.  It’s a simple but important statement of both the majesty and simplicity of the gift of the Father to his people.  There are so many simple, but eloquent images that become so meaningful —shepherds tending their flocks, the Maji following a star, the birth in a stable, rejection by Innkeepers, Herod, worrying about upsetting the status quo, Mary about to fulfill her role as mother and teacher, Joseph as guardian and protector. These are the real images of what Christmas is all about. So before the decorating goes up, I will locate our Nativity set and put it up first.  Then I will explain to any small children what’ s happening there.  I will emphasize to young adult children the importance of this special night.  And I will share memories of simpler Christmases past with adult children.                                                            Don Eagle                     

November 26, 2022 - Christmas
  I have several Nativity sets, but one very favorite one, and a favorite memory of another. My favorite one depicts a 6th grade Christmas pageant, and under the robes you’re likely to see tennis shoes and Mary Janes. One of the kids is at the top of a ladder trying to put the star in place.  One of the girl “angels” sits on a hay bale, her wings and halo slightly askew, and the three boy kings seem to be more interested in exploring what’s in their treasure chests.  It’s probably the most charming set I’ve ever seen, and so true if you’ve ever seen a 6th grade Christmas play. But I can’t ever forget my memory of my seven-year-old self, giving all the Nativity figures a ride around the bottom of our Christmas tree in my electric toy train.  The Holy Family occupied a flat car, the Three Kings had accommodations in the hopper car, the shepherd and his sheep were stuffed into a boxcar.  Nobody could fit into the caboose.  So, around and around they went, dodging low hanging ornaments, having the ride of their life.  Faster and faster they’d go, under bridges made up of wrapped packages, over tons of wires and plugs, narrowly missing my Dad’s tree stand, which he reinvented every year from old Canada Dry wooden crates.  The figures and the train have long disappeared, but the memories and the delight linger on.  I think Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus were looking over my shoulder, laughing and enjoying the delight this brought to me.                                                  Don Eagle
 
November 27, 2022 – A Christmas Letter
When blossoms flowered mid the snow,                         
Upon a winter night,                                                                                                                                                            Was born the Child, the Christmas Rose
The King of Love and Light
Years ago I wrote a letter to my father, which he loved so much he shared with a local newspaper.  It was later published annually at Christmastime. It started out like so:  “As I tucked Jenny into bed, my favorite Christmas song came on, and for some reason it reminded me of you…”. The song happened to be “The Christmas Rose” and I interspersed the lyrics into each line of my letter.  I described memories of him walking in the snow, and singing in St. Olaf’s choir. The letter continued:  “There are a good many things that I have to be thankful for, and one of them is you.  From you, I inherited patience and an ability to get along with others, a love of music and a desire to be my own man.  And I hope a certain kindness.   You are a decent man, and in today’s, world, that is an accomplishment. You are a peace-loving man, and a devoted one as well.  You have character and a solid, moral fiber.  God knows we never say the things we really want to say, maybe it’s because we go through life in our own little worlds.  But tonight I’d like to pause, Dad, and say how much I think of you.  And how I think of you, and that you are both loved as a father and admired as being a good man.”  See you at Christmas.  Your loving son, Don.”
Don Eagle

Reflections for Nov. 14-20,2022

November 14, 2022 - A Movie Genre

For the past decade, the ‘apocalypse’ genre has been popular in film and television.  My attitude toward these shows is strongly influenced by whether any actual science might support the premise, so I am usually not a fan.  Underlying the narrative of many of these, though, is the meaning of relationships in the face of catastrophe.  I didn’t think any of these movies would elicit reflection until I viewed, “The Day After Tomorrow”. 
The interactions during the film made several impressions on me. 

The actions and persistence of the main character reminded me that each moment I spend with those I love means something. Those times should have first priority.   Matthew 6:21: ‘For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be”.  Where do I want my heart to rest?  Only I can recognize what I hold as my treasure and where I have placed my heart. This further reminds me of how Jesus never gives up.  He provides instruction for me to thrive in the face of adversity.    His persistence in reaching out to me with great effort and at great risk and sacrifice, for my salvation, is unparalleled.  His pursuit of me, as my Savior, is unrelenting.  There is no step He will not take in seeking me out.  Clearly, I am His treasure, and His heart lies within me, and mine with Him, now and someday for eternity. 
Ray Frink

November 15, 2022 - Adios, Goodbye, and Aloha

You might wonder where this title came from.  The words certainly are from different parts of the world.  I grew up in a largely Hispanic neighborhood.  Many of my classmates and many of my friends were 2^nd or 3^rd generation Americans from Mexico or Central America.  Thinking back on these times, the parting expression, adios, came to mind.  Adios, when translated to English, means: to God.  Goodbye is a late 16^th century contraction of: God be with you.   Aloha, translated from the Maori language means love, compassion, and kindness and is used as both a welcome greeting and an expression of parting. 

All three of these greetings contain the essence of God, the essence of love.  We use these expressions automatically without reference or consideration of what we are really saying.  Imagine the impact on anyone as they are leaving that you are handing their welfare over to God. You are asking God to care for them.  The first words of welcome or the last words of parting are an expression of love, compassion, and kindness. 

In my family, there are other expressions:  “Take Care”,  “Drive Safely”, which was my Dad’s favorite; or to my sons, “Be Good”.  All these expressions of leaving are a blessing.  I will try to remember, the next time I part company with anyone, that I am giving a blessing and a grace, though they may not know it. 
Ray Frink

November 16, 2022 - One Without the Other
           
Our parish is rich in couples who have been married for many years, including my own of over 4 decades.  All you need do is look around at any Sunday mass to see them.  They typically enter together, sit together unless one is ministering, and perhaps show affection at the Sign of Peace, the pandemic notwithstanding.  They receive Eucharist together, some pausing to receive simultaneously.  My dad used the expression that he and my mom, and others like them were two peas in a pod, an apt expression about filling a space and making it complete.  My own parents were married for over 50 years, until my mother’s death. 
           
It is common to say that in couples like this tone member is not complete without the other; you can’t fully be yourself without the other.  Henri Nouwen reminds me in his writing that the same is true of the two great commandments:  To love God with your whole heart, whole soul, and whole mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself.  Nouwen writes: “It is following the first commandment that asks us to give everything we have to God that makes the second commandment truly possible.”  If I fully love God and know that I am fully loved, only then can I love my neighbor with all their quirks, irritants, idiosyncrasies, and histories and in loving my neighbor, only then am I truly demonstrating in real time my love for God. 
Ray Frink

November 17, 2022 - A Question Revealed

I am pretty good at Trivial Pursuit, the game that is both interesting and frustrating at the same time.  On one occasion my younger son asked me, “How do you know all this stuff?”  My response gave rise to what my family thinks should be the five-word phrase on my gravestone, “Everything in Life is Interesting”.  This phrase came to mind recently when I read the introduction to Busy Lives & Restless Souls, a book discussed in the parish series.  In the introduction, the author reveals a profound moment for her when she saw God in each of a series of unrelated events.  She realizes that God is in all things and everything in life is holy.        

When I read that, I thought perhaps everything in life is interesting to me because God is in all things, and I just didn’t realize it.  Did a truth of my life just get explained and it’s been there the whole time but I was too busy, preoccupied, or simply not able to see it?   I just thought it was my curiosity.  I knew something was there, I just didn’t know what it was.  Ironically, the realization that God is in all things is fundamental to the teachings of the St Ignatian spirituality I was exposed to in both high school and college.  Sometimes knowing about something, knowing the details and explanations, is not the same as experiencing and learning the wisdom, the deeper meaning, of it. 
Ray Frink

November 18, 2022 - Walls

When recently eating a triple chocolate cookie, having just been thinking about the Trinity, another three came together for me.  This was a confluence of my son’s need for a new backyard fence, a Robert Frost poem written in 1914 that I like called “Mending Wall”, and current political debate. 

“Mending Wall” is a poem written more like prose.  It contains the well-known proverb, “Good fences make good neighbors”.  It tells the story of two neighbors who meet once each spring to repair the stone wall separating their fields.  This year, one neighbor questions why the two of them do this. 
“Before I built a wall I’d ask to know,
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.”
There is no need for the wall.  There are no animals to contain.  One side has dense pine forest and the other an apple orchard.  Yet one neighbor insists on maintaining the wall in that stretch also. Robert Frost speaks of a darkness that envelops the wall builder.  He notes that there are forces in nature that bring walls down.   Jesus’ message equally brings light into darkness and brings down walls.  His message of love of neighbor does not allow for divisions whether literal or figurative.  If I am part of the Body of Christ, should I have the figurative walls I create?  Jesus spoke to Samaritans, Pharisees, tax collectors, Centurions, rich, and poor.  I believe in a Catholic, meaning universal, church. So did Jesus.
Ray Frink

November 19, 2022 - All God’s Children

My father-in-law, Pat, died recently.  It reminded me of the passing of my own father, Ray, 15 years ago. They were very different men.  Born on opposite coasts 15 years apart, they had different educational experiences with very different lives and careers.  They both lived through the deprivations of the depression and one experienced the horrors of war.  They both married and provided for their families.  My father-in-law was much more successful by societal terms and they had different experiences of their faith.
           
Ray was a convert to Catholicism.  Pat was born into a Catholic family.  My dad could recite in order the books of the Lutheran bible from memory.  He had some Sunday school training. Pat grew up with Catholic teaching and traditions and continued these in his family until circumstances caused him to stop practicing his Catholic faith. Both men are children of God. 

Jesus chose unschooled fisherman and skilled accountants to be his apostles.  Likely some disciples were educated and some illiterate.  It made no difference.  Christ taught all who listened to Him how to live the two great commandments and expected all who heard him to act appropriately.  Ray and Pat did.  St Paul reiterates this when he tells the new Christian communities to embrace the rich and poor, the popular and the marginalized, with the love and requirements of Christian living.  Pat and Ray were always on equal terms in God’s loving eyes.  They can now share their earthly times with each other as brothers in Christ.
Ray Frink

November 20, 2022 - Eternal Life

My father-in-law was elderly and passed away from the ‘dwindles’.  He had some medical problems, none of them terminal, but the combined effects greatly reduced the quality of his life.  Though he was raised a Catholic and practiced his faith for many years, circumstances and choices caused him to no longer believe in God.  He was a thoughtful man and claimed to be agnostic.  As his life approached an earthly end, he demonstrated his love by asking for assurances that his wife would be cared for (that is assured) and that the spouses of his children would continue to take care of their partners (guaranteed for my wife). 
           
Confronted with his mortality and the mortality of friends, acquaintances, and celebrities, I have considered my own.  I know neither the time nor place.  So, what shall I do? 
Henri Nouwen says: “The great mystery of the spiritual life-the life in God- is that we don’t have to wait for it as something that will happen later.  Jesus says: ‘Dwell in me as I dwell in you.’  It is this divine in-dwelling that is eternal life.  It is the active presence of God at the center of my living- the movement of God’s Spirit within us-that gives us the eternal life.”
If you find me thanking you for being in my life, know that it is an expression of gratitude and joy for the earthly life I have had, have now, and will have.  I will be allowing God’s in-dwelling spirit to flow out in my words.  
Ray Frink

Reflections for Nov. 7-13, 2022

November 7, 2022 - Chapel of the Bones
The Capela dos Ossos (Chapel of Bones) in Évora, Portugal is a small interior chapel located next to the entrance of the Church of St. Francis. The Chapel was built by monks in the late 16^th century to relocate the bones of thousands of souls who had previously been buried in medieval cemeteries in the area.  Évora was wealthy and growing and the bones were removed to allow the land to be used for other purposes.  The chapel is a stark contrast to the elaborate cathedrals of the same time period in Europe. The interior walls are completely covered with human skulls and bones.  “Nós ossos que aqui estamos, pelos vossos esperamos,” “We bones are here, waiting for yours” is inscribed on the entry to the chapel and a beautiful altar and crucifix are the only things illuminated in the room.
 
As we stood in awe in the chapel, surrounded by the bones of thousands of souls long gone to their rest, I felt a deep sense of our shared humanity. We are created in Gods image, yet made from earth, dependent on God’s breath of life…bodies that are vulnerable and temporary. We die; we leave our bones behind that will eventually become dust. From dust we return to dust… I am, through God’s grace, fragile, beloved, and holy. The bones of all the departed wait for mine. I depend on God for life here on earth and eternal life that is to come.
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 8, 2022 - A Lesson from Cork
Cork… not the city in Ireland, but the kind that keeps your wine fresh, that comes from trees.  We had a chance to learn about cork during our recent trip to Portugal, which is the largest producer of cork products. They make all kinds of things from cork—shoes, purses, and decorative items.  The cork is a fire resistant, layer of protection that grows on top of the bark of a particular type of oak tree. The best quality cork is produced if the layers are removed every nine years.  The layer must be removed carefully, so as not to injure the soft, inner bark. Then the cork is softened in hot water to make it flexible so it can be formed into many wonderful, useful things.

Learning about this prompted me to think of lessons for my spiritual life. When I reflect on my life, I think about the protective layers I’ve built up over the years. Some were useful for a time, and some were not. Some served my growth for a while, some inhibited growth. I can see where God used people and experiences to remove old layers that I no longer needed, even as I clung to them. These old layers were sometimes immature beliefs about God or narrow views about other people. God softened the old layers to make room for new perspectives and to further my growth. God’s pruning is challenging sometimes, but his timing and precision help me reach my full potential.
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 9, 2022 - God as the Master Musician
I saw a heartwarming scene recently. A music school had set up a piano in the middle of a busy town square, and its talented college students were playing as people curiously wandered over. Then the pianists began inviting young children to join them on the piano bench. The children, many of whom had never touched a piano before, were shown three or four notes to play in succession. The accomplished musician played beautiful chords and complicated sequences to accompany the simple melody. When the children played the wrong notes, the pianist would adjust so that the initial dissonance transformed into a new melody. The master musician then gently retaught the sequence, the whole time smiling warmly at the child.  We were all spellbound.
I think God does that with our lives. God accompanies me in my small creative endeavors. He turns my attempts into beautiful music, and when I fail at something he opens new doors and new opportunities.  He helps me learn to trust my efforts, to take risks.  He accompanies me through life, holds my hand, and supports my melodies. Often though, I forget and think I have to do everything myself. Or I think I know how the melody should go, in spite of God’s leading.  I wonder how much easier and fulfilling life would be if I could always follow the master…
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 10, 2022 - Culture as Gift and Challenge
At Mercy Center, I’m helping with a program that is preparing bilingual/bicultural spiritual directors to serve our Spanish-speaking community.  It is an honor to be a part of this group, and it challenges me to think about how culture influences our faith.  I believe our faith is influenced by the culture in which we grow up. I think the challenge is not to view our faith and culture as synonymous.  For example, does my faith value being independent and achieving status and possessions?   Uh oh…those might be cultural values, but not Christian ones. Is my image of Jesus and Mary very European? Or am I comfortable with a Jesus who is brown or black?  I’ve learned that being spiritually and culturally aware means being comfortable with a variety of ways of praying, of understanding my call to discipleship. I appreciate difference as a gift from God.  I value prayer and scripture in different languages and different styles of music. To recognize that my brothers and sisters in Christ come from all over the world and represent a multitude of ethnicities, languages, and life experiences helps me appreciate how much God loves diversity.  In nature, it is diversity that protects life for the future.  When we consistently plant the same crop, it is more susceptible to disease or insects.  When we endanger the diversity of habitats, we pay a price. How do we ensure that our faith community benefits from the diversity of cultures, gifts and experiences that are part of God’s gift to us?
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio
  
November 11, 2022 - The Church Is not a Building
Europe is full of large cathedrals. Some were built as early as the 12^th century and others in the 15^th and 16^th centuries.  The cathedrals are often full of priceless art work and are beautiful examples of Romanesque, Gothic, Baroque and Rococo architecture.  They are full of intricate carvings covered in gold leaf—some altar pieces contain 800 pounds of gold…from the conquest of the Americas.  They represent the power of the church and the royalty of the day.  And…many of the churches function more as museums than as active parishes.  People talk about the falling numbers of active Catholics, and Christians in general, in Europe. The United States is experiencing some of the same challenges. 
While this is disturbing in some ways, I wonder if we are being invited to see where the Holy Spirit is calling us in new ways, outside of our buildings and our limited ways of experiencing Church.  “The Most High does not dwell in houses made by human hands.” (Act 7:48) Perhaps the Catholic Church which was once very Eurocentric is being invited to look to leadership from other parts of the world. I feel excited by the prospect of a more inclusive, universal Church that listens to the Gospel proclaimed in the small villages in African, Asia and Latin America, a Church that values the powerless as disciples and prophets.
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 12, 2022 - Learning to Listen as We Journey Together
I appreciated Kurt Peterson’s mention of Braver Angels in his reflection a couple weeks ago.  I just happened to be reading the book, I Never Thought of It That Way, by Mónica Guzman, one of the leaders of Braver Angels, the group dedicated to listening across our divisions.  Some ideas in the book that spoke to me are:  Be genuinely curious when talking with another person about what they think and how they got there.  Understand that everyone’s reasoning and beliefs make sense to them.  If we walk in their shoes, we will better understand why they think as they do. “We don’t listen with our ears, we listen with our whole biography” says the author. Our life experiences filter our listening. I think that also applies to speaking. 
Genuinely listening to understand another is not common, and not easy.  More often while we are “listening,” we are critiquing the other’s thoughts and planning our responses. 

I think Pope Francis’ Synod also focuses on genuinely listening to one another and listening to the Spirit that moves among us. I am called to journey together with the people of God, in all our diversity.  Even as Catholics, we may feel divided at times.  How much better would it be if I learned to listen to others with genuine curiosity rather than with a prepared counterpoint?  Just as Jesus called a surprising group of diverse characters to be disciples, perhaps I will hear the Spirit speak in surprising ways through those with whom I adamantly disagree.  
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 13, 2022 - Soul Friends
I am thankful for so many blessings in my life, but one blessing that particularly stands out after the challenging past couple of years is the gift of soul friends.  “Soulmate” is commonly used to talk about finding that one, special person that someone is meant to be with, but I’m thinking about something different. I’m thinking about the special friends with whom I can share myself unconditionally—my fears, my sorrows, my times of shame, as well as my joys and celebrations.  They are the friends that most mirror Jesus to me.  They know when to just sit and listen; they don’t try to fix me. They know my shadows and accept them. With soul friends, I can be vulnerable.  I can be my whole, authentic self—no filters, no pretenses.  When I’m honest, I realize how rare that is.  I go through so much of life thinking about what others expect of me, what people will think. I measure my worth by people’s acceptance or rejection.  Jesus modeled how to be a soul friend.  He first offered unconditional love and healing, before he challenged people to change their lives. Rather than condemn, he asked reflective questions that raised people to their own worthiness.  I wonder how different our relationships would be if we were better soul friends to each other.
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio




Reflections for Oct. 31-Nov. 6, 2022
October 31, 2022—Needing God

When my daughters initially heard about their overnight class field trips, they both begged me to chaperone their trips. I was so excited! But shortly into the school year, Grace started begging me not to go. She said I would be too embarrassing! While I take issue with being called embarrassing (I AM FUN!), I recognize that this is an age-appropriate feeling as she establishes boundaries and grows into herself. My kids are reaching the age where they don’t need me for everything.  I hold both sadness for the end of that part of our lives, and joy that they are becoming independent people. I know that as my daughters grow, they will rely on me less, but will also still need me in new and different ways. As always, this relationship between parent and child makes me reflect on the relationship I have with God—and that God has with me. How many times have I thought that I didn’t need God, only to find myself running back to him? How long has He waited for me to recognize that I do need him? Thank you, Lord, for your patient and enduring love, and for waiting for me even when I said I didn’t need you.
Erin Gallawa

November 1, 2022—The Rule of Three

There is a rule in running that if you think about something three times, you ought to stop and address it. For example, if you feel a rock in your shoe, you can ignore it once. You can ignore it twice. But by the third time, you better do something about it! I have started to apply that principle to my life. When things won’t get out of my head, I need to address them. I think about all the messages that God is sending to me and the various ways he nudges me to hear him. When I hear the voice once, do I ignore it? How about the second time? And the third? Sometimes I need the reminder to be present to God’s words, so now I am counting. One… two… three… I hear you, Lord!
Erin Gallawa

November 2, 2022—Big Houses
Sometimes I think about my house, with its 3 bedrooms and a playroom and its spacious backyard with a teeter totter. We have all this space that we purchased for young kids—young kids who’ve grown into young women, and who will leave this home and its rooms empty. We build and buy houses to fill with potential. We dream of nurseries for unborn babies, islands for our loved ones to gather round, backyards where will we host summer barbecues and graduation parties. We think of how grandkids will come back to read the books our children left decades ago. We hope that the walls will be filled with joy. When I look around my neighborhood, what I see are big houses that are mostly filled with quiet. But this should not be reason for sadness. We know from scripture and experience that there is a season for everything. Just as in our Church, most moments are ordinary. Many days in the church building are dark and quiet. But when we slow down to reflect, we hear the echoes of the past—the baptisms, the weddings, the funerals, the Sunday celebrations. And we look forward to the future, when we will gather again to fill the space with love, hope and joy.
Erin Gallawa

November 3, 2022—Ring

One of my kids recently asked me what the word apostolic meant. I explained how “apostolic” points to our connection through history right back to Jesus himself. The apostolic nature of the Church is such that we know that the Catholic faith comes to us from the very apostles who heard the words from the mouths of Christ! But that is a textbook answer that doesn’t necessarily mean much to a child. A few days later I was making the bed when the sheet caught for a moment on the ring I wear on my right hand. I borrowed this ring from my mother on my wedding day. It is the ring she wore all my life until the day she gave it to me. It is the ring she got from her grandmother, who wore it for a lifetime before I was even born. I have wondered which of my daughters might want to wear this ring next, to carry on the memory of my great-grandmother who came from Spain to San Francisco and who I remember now, though I never met her, because of something handed down through generations.
I have never seen Jesus, neither have my parents or my grandparents, but the faith, like my ring, has been handed down, to be remembered and lived today.
Erin Gallawa

November 4, 2022—Wet healing

Earlier this year I fell while running. That is actually not surprising… I fall a lot when I run! But this particular time was the first time that needed medical attention. There was a hole in my hand and inside that hole there was a rock that I could not get out. So I made a 6:00am visit to the ER where the doctor pulled a good sized stone from my palm and then told me he couldn’t do much for the wound. He explained that if I let the wound dry, it might heal quickly but would leave a scar. The alternative was to let it heal wet. I had never heard of this before, but I decided to try it. I won’t lie… it was a pretty gross process. But it was also fascinating, as there was never a scab over the hole in my hand. It took a lot more care than other wounds I’ve had. I had to tend to it daily and watched it heal over weeks. It never looked like it would be able to close, but in time, it did.

In our relationships with God and others, we have many opportunities to practice healing. I find that it is often easier to just let emotional “wounds” heal the quick way. My natural tendency is to avoid conflict, so I would rather take the quick healing, even if it leaves a bigger scar on the relationship. I wonder what tender care would do for those moments? I think reconciliation is like this—an open baring of our wounds to allow a slow and tender healing from our loving Creator. As I move through my life, I pray that I can nurture my wounds—both physical and emotional—with tender, loving healing.
Erin Gallawa

November 5, 2022—A Hidden World

This summer we traveled to Washington, DC and my girls got their first experience using the underground metro. It was fun to watch them learn to love underground transportation as much as I do. Obviously, I love the convenience of travelling by metro, but that isn’t what I love most. I am always most amazed with the idea that there is an entire world below the earth’s surface. Beneath the feet of millions of people around the world, there are tunnels and trains and people, an entire transportation metropolis that is dynamic and alive! Yet from above, it is easy to forget that it exists. We’ve all heard not to judge a book by its cover, but the idea of an entire transportation ecosystem below my feet really challenges me to look beyond what is in front of me. Behind the walls of every home, inside the cover of every book, under the ground of major cities, and deep within the heart of every person, is an entire world that we cannot see. I pray that my mind and heart always be open to seeing what God has placed before me!
Erin Gallawa

November 6, 2022—Singing
My children’s theater program recently had a singing class for adults. I joined, excited to sing again after 20 years away from any real singing experience. What I didn’t know is that the class was preparing us to sing an audition song! By the end of the 6-week program, we were encouraged to stand in front of the entire group and sing as if we were auditioning for a show. The night we sang, I was overcome with a feeling of awe in the presence of these women. With one exception, there were no professionally trained singers. We were just a group of middle-aged moms with a joy for singing, brought together by the shared passion of our children. One by one, the women stood up and courageously sang. There were wonderful singers and nervous singers and singers who would not make eye contact. There were forgotten words and some flat notes. I was humbled and blessed to be present to such vulnerability. These women who were previously strangers to me had become my community. In that community we found a place to safely stand up and share our voice.

I believe that God intended for us to live in community with one another, where our gifts can be shared and we are safe to be ourselves. I am grateful for the many communities in my life, including my new singing community and the one here at SS Peter and Paul, where I have always been free to be me!
Erin Gallawa


Reflections for Oct. 24-30, 2022
October 24, 2022 - Cooking
Those who know me know I love to cook but I am not sure if they know why I love to cook. I enjoy food and the flavors one can create in making a meal, but it is about the joy that a well-cooked meal brings to people. Gathering at a table with friends and family sharing a meal together is what it is all about. Cooking the recipes that have been handed down through the family helps keep alive the memories of our loved ones in our hearts. And when learning to cook a dish from another culture and enjoying their food, we experience their culture. Cooking can also bring together total strangers. One time we were at Boeger Winery for a shrimp boil. There were about 50 or more people all together at this long table. We were eating and talking with strangers and at the end we were no longer strangers. That is what sharing a meal does. Jesus knew that gathering to share a meal is so important to us not only to receive Him for our spiritual nourishment but to connect us together as a family of God. No matter where you are you can go to Mass and share the Eucharistic meal together and be part of that family.
Kurt Peterson  
 
October 25, 2022 – Special Powers
The popular series “Stranger Things” is about a secret government funded facility that was developing children to have special powers. The children are known by their numbers. 11 is a young girl who escapes from the facility and is befriended and protected by a small group of kids from the nearby town. It is through her friendship with these kids that she learns how to control her powers and understand the meaning of love. Before she escaped something happened where she, through her anger, created a breach between our world and what is called the Upside Down. It is a dark parallel of our world that is now trying to take our world over. Through the course of the series 11 learns that she can use her powers to repair the breach and send back the evil to the Upside-Down world.

Like 11 we have done things in our past that have created a breach or wound, which we call sin, that allows darkness to come into our world. Unlike 11 we do not have special powers, but we do have something greater, we have Christ living in us. And it is through the Holy Spirit that our wounds are healed. It is through us asking for forgiveness that we push the darkness back into the void and again live in the light.  
Kurt Peterson
 
October 26, 2022 – Remembrance
There is a song we sing at 5:00 Sunday called Remembrance by Matt Maher. It is a beautiful song with some great imagery. It reminds us that our faith, especially during Mass, is not passive but very much active. We may be sitting but we are mentally and spiritually moving through the Mass until we have reached our goal, the Eucharist. I ask all of you to take the time to listen to the words, especially the refrain.
When we remember you – our remembrance leads us to worship
And as we worship you – our worship leads to communion
We respond to your invitation – We remember you
It is through our full participation that the Holy Spirit leads us forward into a deeper commitment to Christ. And it is in coming together as a community of believers that we accept His invitation to be fed by His Body and Blood, preparing us to take up His call to go out into the world just as the apostles and others have done for over 2,000 years. To spread the Gospel to the ends of the earth. Or at least Placer County.
Kurt Peterson

October 27, 2022– What Came First?
I saw this sign in front of a Christian church “We believe in the Bible because of God, not that we believe in God because of the Bible.” I had to ponder that for a while to understand what that meant. For me it is comes down to the question of what came first. I know for me my belief in God started as a small quiet whisper. While I was in college taking classes in psychology, botany, and oceanography I was learning the intricate nature of our minds and how complex nature was. I started to realize that everything today could not be an outgrowth of random acts.  Nature is so intricate and the conditions for many things in nature to occur must be so precise that there had to be some kind of creative design. It was that realization that started my search for God and in reading the Bible I began to understand who God was. But it took my relationship with my wife, children, and my church community to help me understand what my role is in being part of the Body of Christ.  My faith did not begin from reading the Bible;  it first began with the quiet whispering of an inner self.  
Kurt Peterson

October 28, 2022 – Good or Bad
People say we do not listen to each other anymore, but I am not sure how often we ever have. When looking at human history, we can see that we are not normally in the mode of listening to each other which results in wars, social and religious persecution, slavery and much more. However, there are those times throughout our history when we try to understand each other. That is what Lincoln meant when he implored us to act on “the better angels of our nature”. Recently on CBS’s Sunday Morning there was a segment about a group called “Braver Angels” that brings conservatives and liberals together to talk about the division. At the end of these meetings both sides leave with at least an understanding of the other and many leave with new friendships because they see each other as loving people and someone they care about. They are no longer “them” or “those” but Jim or Jane. There isn’t a slogan or dogma on the other side but a person. A person who has dreams, goals, longings, and pain just like you or me. I never really understood what Jesus meant when He told us to love our enemy but maybe this is what it means. To love someone, I need to first know them and when I know them then they no longer are the enemy.
Kurt Peterson

October 29, 2022 – The Shortest Sentence in the Bible
Did you know there is one sentence in the Bible that only has two words?  It appears in the Gospel of John. Jesus is with his disciples when he hears about the death of his friend Lazarus. Jesus stays in place for 2 more days before they go to the family of Mary and Martha. When Jesus and the apostles get there, He sees how distraught Mary and the people are and scripture says, “He was deeply moved and troubled in spirit.” They took Jesus to where Lazarus was laid and in John 11:35 it says, “He wept.” Even the King of Kings who has been from the beginning of time wept. I think this is one of the most comforting passages in the Bible for me. We always talk about how Jesus came to save us and how when He will come again, and we will all live in Glory. But it is that one act where Jesus wept that is so meaningful. He did not weep for Lazarus because he was going to raise him from the dead. He wept for those that were hurting because he was hurting to. Even though Jesus knows the outcome, He still feels our hurt and weeps alongside us. He gets it and I know when I am in sorrow and grief, He is next to me and He weeps!
Kurt Peterson

October 30, 2022 – The Sound of Music
I recently watched a documentary called “The Sound of 007”. It is a fascinating documentary on how the original theme began and how well know it is. In practically any place in the world when people hear the first few chords it congers up the images of 007. Movies would not be as emotional as they are without the musical soundtrack. This is the same for Mass. The songs that are chosen by the music leader are meant to carry the theme for the Mass. The songs connect us to the readings and the message that is meant to be shared. I have had many people tell me how the music we play creates such emotion in them. For me one of the most incredible changes from the second Vatican Council was opening the Mass to be in the people’s language. I can get lost in hearing the readings and listening to the music. My worship becomes alive and there are so many different styles of music to choose from.  So the next time you come to Mass I invite you to open your ears and heart  and be drawn into the words and music of our faith.
Kurt Peterson



Reflections for Oct. 17-23, 2022

October 17, 2022 - ’Be Rich in What Matters to God’ (Ref. LK 12:13-21)

The context: Someone in the crowd approached Jesus asking to be an arbitrator. Then Jesus spoke to them the parable of the rich fool, urging them to guard against all greed.

I am writing this reflection while I am on the holy ground of Assisi reflecting on Francis who left everything to be rich in God. He found his richness for the rest of his life in others and in the universe. Francis was able to see the glory of God in every creature.

Whenever I read the parable of the greedy man, I laugh at the punchline. At the same time, I wonder, “What am I possessing which is not rich in the eyes of God? What do I keep for myself and am unwilling to share with others?” Sometimes, I realize I am not different from the rich fool. Though I know everything I have is transitory and for helping in the ministry, (for example, a vehicle) at times I find myself holding on to my talents and belongings which I should be sharing with the Lord and His people. We are blessed to be a blessing in the life of others. Keeping these possessions, whether they are talents or treasure, to oneself hinders the flow of grace into my life and I can fail to reflect on the generous nature of God.
Bony

October 18, 2022 -  Feast of St. Luke, Evangelist. ‘We Are Sent Out with a Mission’ (Ref. LK 10:1-9)

Jesus sent out 72 disciples in pairs with a mission of peace, curing the sick and proclaiming ‘the Kingdom of God is at hand for you’.

In this commissioning Jesus urged them not to be focused on themselves (they were asked to carry only very limited needed items) but to focus on the mission – being there for others. This is the Christ-mission given to every one of us as well; just as Jesus was given it from God the Father. God empowers us with his grace to fulfill this mission and we bring glory to his name (Mt.5: 16).  We are his humble servants doing God’s will. Remember that in LK 10/20 when these disciples later enthusiastically reported to Jesus about their mission, Jesus warns them not to take credit for their actions.  He assures them that their reward is in Heaven.

There is a temptation as a priest serving the parish as a leader to claim the credit for a good parish for oneself. Lord, forgive me the times I looked at these achievements as my own gain, when all of it was yours. Remind me that I am called to serve, (Mt. 20: 28), and give glory and honor in all I do, to you alone.
Bony

October 19, 2022 - The Unexpected Hour and Prudent Servant (Ref. LK 12:39-48)

Context: Jesus told his disciples to be prepared to receive the Son of Man anytime. Peter asked whether it is just for them or everyone and Jesus gave the parable of the prudent and imprudent stewards.

Yes, it is for all of us. Do we need to be reminded about preparedness? Do we not belong to him always? Our baptism comes with a responsibility for readiness which I forget sometimes in life. That readiness is a personal communion with Christ that leads to a responsibility to serve faithfully the people entrusted to me. A responsibility to others comes from our communion with them in Christ. And God rewarded the prudent servant by giving him charge of everything.

I am aware of the responsibility that comes with Baptism and I am constantly reminded of the responsibility of ministerial priesthood; that is, being available for the people entrusted to me for pastoral care.  It is my grave responsibility to be ready to serve faithfully and prudently.
For me, being a prudent steward means ‘being true to yourself and to others’ - How about for you?
Bony

October 20, 2022 - ‘The Anguish’ (Ref. LK 12:49-53)

“There is a Baptism with which I must be baptized, and how great is my anguish until it is accomplished!” (V.50)

The ‘Baptism’ that Jesus mentions here is his death - that is his entrusted mission - the divine call, the saving act, a sacrifice for the salvation of the world. Then, by expressing the intense feeling of distress he manifests his true human nature. ‘The anguish’ is not mere worries, rather, I think, it is mixed feelings of anxious waiting and a hope of fulfillment. Many of us may have experienced this in our lives. For example, when I hear about a surgery for anyone I know, I have the same feeling that the patient has, and the surgeon has. My mother and my siblings experienced it when Dad’s leg was amputated; we all went through the anguish, but later there was joy when Dad was with us for another ten healthy years.

I may feel tormented by small and big situations in life. But the greatest anguish I have is like St. Augustine, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” Guide me Lord to serve you with my whole heart.
Bony

October 21, 2022 ‘Interpret the Present Time’ (Ref. LK 12:54-59)

Context: Jesus indicated his generations’ ability to read the signs of weather and seasons but they were unable to interpret the present time, to judge for themselves what is right.

At first His followers failed to interpret the meaning of the presence of Christ himself. And they failed to interpret his message of conversion. How do I interpret our present time? Is there Christ in every moment of my life? He is our strength and power to love and to be merciful.  But we live in a world where we are vulnerable to manipulation of life values. The world may offer us values that appear to be moral and ethical, and have the potential to draw us away from Christian values.

Let me keep the values of Christ intact that I may not be infiltrated by inclinations - political, social, cultural, etc.  Lord, keep my eyes and ears open to see and hear only the truth, and grant us all the wisdom to read the present times.
Bony

October 22, 2022 Patient Gardner and Barren Fig Tree (Ref. LK 13:1-19)

The context: Referring to the two tragedies Jesus teaches the crowd that any suffering by external forces are not the consequences of sin. Calling for redemption He insists on repentance and gives this parable depicting the patient and merciful God.

This parable gives a hope of redemption. The call for repentance is always for the love-reunion and should not be due to fear of punishment. This reflects our relationship with God. Just as the gardener in the parable has a heart for the tree and wants to give it a chance to bear fruit, so God is the same with us. The tree has to respond to His compassionate heart and produce the fruit of love.

What really happens in my spiritual life is that I am relaxed, taking for granted the goodness of the Lord and I fall into habitual sins. It blocks me from experiencing the compassionate heart of God and I am not able to produce good fruits. I need to act instantly with repentance to embrace Him. Lord, thank you for your patience and giving me an opportunity to correct my life. Help me to remain in you and to bear much fruit (Jn 15: 5)
Bony

October 23, 2022 Tax Collector Attitude (Ref. LK 18:9-14)

Context: Jesus addressed the parable of a pharisee and tax collector praying in the temple area to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else. The pharisee boasts in prayer and despises others whereas the tax collector, bent down, prays for mercy.

Humble submission to God justifies the tax collector. In a later chapter Jesus chooses to stay in the home of Zacchaeus, another tax collector who sincerely repents. All I want is the attitude of these tax collectors. The posture, the focus, the humble submission, the true feeling of unworthiness and prayer for mercy are really an inspiration and model for all of us.

I have to confess, though I do not despise anyone, my eyes wander around the church during Mass. Sometimes I am displeased by someone’s action, questioning myself if that person is praying or not. Who am I to judge? After all, I am an unworthy person called to serve His people. And I am constantly inspired by the humility and devoutness of my parishioners.

Lord, I want to be your humble and devout child, a servant committed to serve.
Bony


Reflections for Oct. 10-16, 2022

October 10, 2022 - Forget?
I have to admit that there are times when I am either lazy or tired and I fall into bed without reviewing my day and thanking God for what has gone on.  That goes for other times of the day as well.  Numerous religious, spiritual counselors and friends remind me that there is a primacy involved throughout the day, nay, through all of life to acknowledge just how much I owe God. From my first waking breath to that last sigh of relaxation at night it is a duty to thank God for life and all of His gifts.  Sister Joan Chittister reminds me that I may forget God  at times, but that God does not forget me.  I exist not only because of my Mom and Dad but because God was a part of the equation also.  So the question is, what do I do about my forget- fulness?  Practice!  My dear departed Mom-in-law was a great example because she prayed about absolutely everything.  She told me that as soon as she opened her eyes in the morning she would thank God for giving her another day (but later in her life she said she questioned God about why she was still around).  And then she’d thank God not only for the good things of life but also the challenges she encountered.  So the answer to my question is indeed to do as she did and make it a habit to pray always.  To see God as a partner, or rather, to be God’s partner.  And so I remind myself:  Don’t forget.
Deacon David

October 11, 2022 – Pope John XXIII
At Mass today Saint Pope John XXIII  was remembered and memorialized.  He was Pope when I was accepted for baptism in the Catholic Church in 1960.  At the time I was accepted the Mass was still in Latin, everyone brought their own missal to read at Mass and Communion happened while kneeling at the altar rail, all very impersonal.  Since I had nothing to compare my experience with, I was gratified with the Pope’s aggiornamento, “…bringing the church up to date.” I wasn’t the only one who appreciated him as his encyclical Pacem in Terris (Peace on Earth) was widely appreciated not only amongst Catholics but also by people of other or no religion. He was a sort of model for me given his simple lifestyle and his expressed love for all people, not just the powerful or rich.  Some said that he was a father figure to the world and it is said that he lived such a simple life that when he died his personal fortune willed each of his family members the sum of $20.00.  This simple man brought openness to the Catholic Church that included possibilities for lay Catholics to live, not just practice, our faith.  Jane and I were able to go into the world as lay missionaries to share our gifts and talents because of the guidance of Pope John XXIII.  Our present Pope carries on in that same manner.  I remind myself to open up the doors and windows and don’t surprised at who or what comes in. 
Deacon David

October 12, 2022 - Autumn
A couple of weeks ago, September 21^st, brought a change of season.  The weather can’t make up its mind whether to be hot or mild, rainy or dry but I do enjoy the chance to go onto our patio and sit without getting fried.  The oak trees are shedding more than usual and the deciduous trees shower more leaves so that our green waste container will be full several times a month instead of empty most of the time.  The change of season puts me in mind of the season of my own life, just as God designed it.  Just as the sun brought new growth to the vegetation in spring and summer, so too with me.  The pale of my skin responded to the sun’s rays tanning me a bit though I have to say that my hair color didn’t respond to photosynthesis and stayed white.  Well, the tan is fading and I’ve retired my shorts for long legged jeans and will soon be wearing warm shirts.  All of this is just the outside of me.   I’ve noticed my inside  responding similarly, more energy in the spring and  slowing down some, taking the time to rest and recuperate in the fall just as the foliage does. Perhaps it is this time of year that God gives us the opportunity to realize the seasons of our lives and acknowledge the changes we experience as we note that the sap doesn’t rise as quickly as it once did…and that’s okay since it is surely God’s plan for us. 
Deacon David

October 13, 2022 - Noise

A couple of months ago a large plot of land in our neighborhood was sold to a housing developer. Since then the ground has been shaking with the rumble of giant earthmoving machines tearing down many old growth oak trees and digging up the underlying granite rock with the aim to level homesites for construction.  The progress has been slow and exceedingly noisy, sometimes six days a week.  This of course gets me to think about the noise of my own life.  I started out pretty raw with the same sort of hard rock substrata requiring much work to get ready for development.  It hasn’t been a quiet process.  At the beginning I was sure that I was fine “as is” but I was finally persuaded that my hard head needed some adjustment.  That groundwork took not just six days a week but every day.  Those who helped with the groundwork put up with a lot of noise stemming from my ignorance.  I admit that there is still noise in me that needs the quiet work of leveling the ground of my heart and soul. I think back on all of the people, lay and religious, who endured the noise of my life and helped me to find that quiet place inside myself to build a life that can withstand the noise of the world. 
Deacon David

October 14, 2022 - Work

Once again I find myself quoting Sister Joan Chittister as my starting point: “Good work is a human being’s contribution to the development of humankind and fulfilment of the universe”.  My first thought upon reading this is that it no longer applies as I’ve been retired from my “work” for twenty-two years.  And when I did my work I considered it a “…contribution to the development of….” I was doing something that was needed to mend and reintroduce people to a society from which they’d been removed due to unlawful behavior.  But whoa, did finishing that work exempt me from continuing to relate with others, others who were for some reason not a viable or visible part of the community?  Honestly it took me some time to realize that with the ending of paid employment I was, as a follower of Jesus, still obliged to share whatever experience or expertise I’d gained throughout life.  I only had to look around me, particularly in the parish, to witness people, retired or not, who were giving of themselves to better others.  The ministries and activities developed and pursued demonstrated to me the truth of Sister Joan’s quote.  Doing, or rather, being a follower of Jesus doesn’t include the idea of “retirement”.  Each of us signs up for life, maybe not so inclusive of “…the universe” but certainly for the space we inhabit in it. 
Deacon David

 October 15, 2022 - Light

The song goes “..you are the light of the world”.  I enjoy hearing and singing that song but sometimes I don’t practice it.  When I think of the biblical admonition NOT to hide my light under a bushel basket I ask:  what, why, how?  You and I know, through our sacramental baptism and confirmation, that we have been blessed with a certain glow, a light that we are obliged to share as followers of Jesus.  When was the last time I can say that I did that?  Well, maybe at Mass at the sign of peace.  Maybe I was nice enough to let someone go first in the parking lot.  It pleases me when, either at church or in the community, someone graces me with a smile or a word of recognition.  It feels so good.  So maybe that is the simple answer to my question.  Give what I’ve got to lift up another person who may not be recognized or is in need of a kind word.  It doesn’t have to be “religious” but it has to be sincere. We have been endowed with a special light, a God given light, that is to be shared out of love with everyone.  Lord, please take me out from under the bushel basket.
Deacon David

October 16, 2022 - Persist

I sometimes hear people say, and sometimes I myself ask, why me?  There are many people who suffer, some of whom ask that question.   There are others who endure and remain silent. In today’s scripture readings at Mass we are told about two instances of persistence. In the first from Exodus, we are told about a war between tribes and how the Jews prevailed because Moses, with the help of others, was able physically to hold his arms up for an entire day.  So Moses, with the help of Aaron and Hur, kept the staff of God raised up so that Joshua and his army would win the war.  In the gospel reading from Luke, Jesus relates a parable that is closer to what I can understand.  The story involves an unjust Judge and a widow who went to the judge seeking justice.  Right away we’re made aware the judge was trying to ignore the widow, probably because she didn’t try to bribe him, but finally thought she might physically harm him.  She was persistent just as Moses was.  The lesson Jesus taught is that our prayers, as His chosen ones, should continue day and night.  God promises justice but asks the question “But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” I must seek justice without ceasing and know that faith will be answered. 
Deacon David









Reflections for Oct. 3-9, 2022
October 3, 2022 - The Grace in Giving
In the hospital stay immediately following my car accident, I was lovingly cared for by many skilled nurses.  I began to notice that after working with me, each nurse said “thank you” often before I could say it! This seemed so odd, because it seemed that the situation was backwards… I was the one that should be thanking them!  After reflecting on this, I realized that as humans we are created to live in community and when people graciously receive our gifts of time and treasure, we are grateful for the opportunity to make a difference. 
Jesus gave us a wonderful example.  He selflessly gave his body and blood in the eucharist as gift to us.  This is the ultimate “thank you” to his followers. 
Over the years, I have been so grateful for the opportunity to serve this parish.  To those whom I have served in some way, thank you! 
Darcy Wharton

October 4, 2022 - In Sickness and in Health
Like so many others, my husband and I said the words quickly at our wedding ceremony.  We promised “to be true in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, ‘till death do us part.”  Did we really know what we were saying?  We thought we did! 
I gradually discovered that the commitment to be there for one another in sickness and in health is a true gift.  When I came home from the hospital recently, I had no use of one arm and I was also in a neck brace.  In the first week or so, I needed assistance in almost every way, from meal preparation, to showering and dressing.  Knowing that I enjoyed blow drying and curling my hair each day, my husband graciously agreed to use a curling iron to style my hair so I could feel more “normal”.  This simple act made me smile and warmed my heart.  I don’t think either of us thought there would come a day when he would be my hair stylist, but our expectations rarely meet the reality of life.
Praise God for all of the supportive partners in our lives!
Darcy Wharton

October 5, 2022 - The Meaning of Suffering
Why does God allow suffering?  Some have said that the issue of why there is suffering is perhaps the most difficult spiritual question.  I know people who have lost their faith because they could not understand why God allowed life-threatening illnesses or a criminal act to take the life of a loved one. 
I, too, have struggled to find answers to the question of suffering. However, as I heard once from Fr. Brendan McGuire, “As I go through life, I understand God less but have experienced God more.”  This makes so much sense to me!   
In the times of my deepest suffering (physical or emotional), I have intensely felt the presence of God.  Perhaps it’s because when life rolls along without trouble, I can too easily forget my reliance on God.  When life shakes me up a bit and questions arise, it can be the perfect time to turn again to God for support.
Darcy Wharton

October 6, 2022 - L’Chaim- To Life!
After my accident, I discovered that I became even more grateful for the gift of life.  Time with friends and family has become even more precious and it seems more important than ever to show my gratitude because as other writers have mentioned, we never know how long any of us will be on this earth.
My husband and I have become friends with our neighbors at our vacation home in Truckee.  The couple shares many of our same values and we always enjoy our dinners together.  During a recent visit with them, the husband (who is Jewish) offered the toast “L’Chaim” which means “to life.  This Hebrew exclamation has apparently been used for 2,000 years and although I’ve heard that phrase countless times in the past, it now takes on special meaning.
So the next time you raise your glass, join me in offering a toast to “L’Chaim”…to life!
Darcy Wharton

October 7, 2022 - No Pain, No Gain
No doubt you have heard the phrase, “no pain, no gain.  I typically had heard the phrase in relation to pushing oneself to greater athletic ability. I honestly tended to resist the concept because I did not want to experience unnecessary pain.  After all, who wants more pain in life?
As a result of the physical therapy required after my accident, that phrase has taken on new meaning.  I am only able to progress in the use of my arm after uncomfortable and sometimes painful physical therapy and the subsequent exercises at home.  There truly is no gain without pain.  In a concrete way, I am able to see the results of leaning into the pain instead of avoiding it.
Perhaps when there is pain in my spiritual life, I will remember that Jesus set the perfect example.  The pain of the cross was followed by the resurrection.  As a baptized Christian, I can confidently trust the process.
Darcy Wharton

October 8, 2022 - Wrapped in Prayer
A few years ago, I was asked to facilitate a retreat for women who attend the First United Methodist Church in Loomis.  It was a wonderful experience and the retreat was enhanced by its setting at Zephyr Cove in Nevada.  I felt a connection with these women in a very short period of time, recognizing our unity in Christ.
Imagine my surprise when I began receiving get well cards in the mail after my accident from some of these women!  After hearing about my situation I immediately was included in a prayer chain.  When I heard about it, my heart was warmed.
Then a couple of weeks later, one of the women (who is a friend of mine) arrived to my office with a present.  The prayer shawl ministry had made me a prayer shawl.  Several women prayed over their crochet hooks and the yarn, and held me in prayer while they made me a crocheted blanket – a visible sign that I was “wrapped in prayer”. 

This gift is so meaningful to me, because it reminds me that prayer truly unites us all.  The boundaries of religion do not impede the love of God from shining through.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of prayer.
Darcy Wharton

October 9, 2022 - Your Faith Has Saved You
In the gospel story of the ten lepers (and the one who returns to give thanks), we discover that only one of the lepers returns to give thanks.  There is a line in that story that states, “one of them, realizing he had been healed, returned, glorifying God in a loud voice.” 
A few questions arise for me.  How did the other nine not know they were healed?  What was it in the experience of the one leper that allowed him to realize that he had been healed?  Although I don’t know for sure, I have a sense that he was a person who already was aware of God’s work in his life and could detect subtle shifts in the relationship.  If you have ever truly felt God’s healing within you, then you can relate to this man.  The only appropriate response is to “glorify God in a loud voice”. 
I would like to believe that the physical healing of the other nine lepers was the beginning of their faith journeys.  For the one who had journeyed with God and recognized God’s healing, Jesus said, “Stand up and go, your faith has healed you.”
What a generous God we have that meets us along the road and offers healing!  May I in turn, as the hands and feet of Christ, offer a healing presence to all those in need.
Darcy Wharton

Reflections for Sept. 26-Oct. 2, 2022
September 26, 2022 – Peaks and Valleys
Many years ago, while on retreat I was invited to complete a “life-graph” exercise, noting the moments in my life when I felt closest to God and the times when I felt farthest from God.  This exercise was tricky though, because it wasn’t simply about listing the happiest or hardest times.  In particular, I was called to examine a painful moment in my life when my husband and I suffered a miscarriage in our first pregnancy.  During this time, I remember being surprised by the fact that I wasn’t angry at God, and I didn’t feel far away from Him.  In fact, I felt God closer than I ever had before - He was grieving right along with us, because he had lost a child too!

It was through this exercise though, that I learned what it meant to say that “Our God of the mountain is also our God of the valley.”  This notion certainly doesn’t take away our suffering, or make it less confusing, but it helped me find God in the midst of it all.  I was able to feel an intimacy with a God who is not to blame for the suffering, but rather a God who can hold me and accompany me in my valleys. 
-Katie Maynard

September 27, 2022 – More Hugs
A long time ago, I was given a “Hug Coupon” by someone in my teenage years, and I recently found it in the zipper pocket of an old purse.  In that moment, it felt as though I had hit the jackpot, and I knew my girls were going to love the coupon.  Although they were preoccupied at the moment when I went to share the news, the moment I placed the coupon in front of them, they stopped to read the coupon…looked up at me with big smiling eyes and stopped whatever they were doing to give me a big hug.

The next thing I knew, one of our daughters was making a handful of hug coupons for her dad on Father’s Day, because she knew this was something too good not to be shared!  We could all use a hug coupon, because what it really affords us is the permission to stop what we are doing and simply embrace…connect…and let love wash over us.
-Katie Maynard

September 28, 2022 – Okay Google

A couple of years ago, we welcomed a “Google Home” into our household, and life will never be the same.  My daughters now have them in their bedrooms, and it’s been fun to hear them ask Google to play their favorite songs, ask about the weather, or to set an alarm.  I say that cautiously, because we have also found ourselves frustrated with Google when it just can’t get it right: it plays the wrong song, or it “can’t understand” our request, or it blares the alarm at full volume.  Google also seems to be picky depending on whose room I happen to be in: for example, Evelyn’s Google seems to only want to listen to her voice and needs to hear a “please” (which I actually love). 

Now, God is not like a Google Home, but it made me think about supplication in prayer.  My spiritual director used to say that “supplication, asking, even begging for what we most need cannot help but change us.”  It reminds us of our dependence on God and it is from that place of humility that we are changed.  I am often reluctant to pray this way, because it takes courage to ask for what I really need! 

It’s true that God might have a different song in mind, and it might be at 80% volume…but unlike Google, God already knows what I need before I ask, God takes me as I am, I don’t have to get the wording right, and He is not picky about my requests. 
-Katie Maynard

September 29, 2022 – Warmth
I learned the comfort of warmth from my mother as she would always wipe our hands and faces with a warm washcloth.  A cold washcloth or wipe would not suffice, because she knew that the warmth would bring us comfort.   She has also been known to throw a towel in the dryer for my kids (and me) before coming out of the shower, and although I am not always as good about the warm washcloths, I have tried to share some of this warmth with my own children.  Whenever my girls are around for a fresh load of sheets and towels to come out of the dryer, I will often call out “Warm Laundry Dump!” and the girls will run to the couch where I proceed to dump the laundry out over top of them.  It doesn’t matter what they are doing or how hot it is outside, that warmth is comforting to them, and they run to get it!

It makes me think how I can bring warmth to others, not necessarily in the form of warm linens, but in the warmth of my words, and my actions.  Warm it up!

-Katie Maynard

September 30, 2022 – Shake the Dust
“Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words – go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet” (Matthew 10:14). 
My father, who happens to be the wisest man I know, recently offered these words to me when I was struggling with a personal relationship.  These words contained both solace and challenge for me - nudging me towards a freedom that would come from letting go.

In Matthew’s gospel narrative, Jesus emboldened his disciples in their good work, but also cautioned them not to have their peace taken away from them.  If they did not encounter a sense of welcome or invitation, then they were encouraged to not only leave the town, but to shake the dust from their feet.  The shaking of the dust feels like the most challenging part, because it’s about true surrender…and that is really hard for me!  

Lord, I pray for the grace to meet people where they are, and the courage to step back, shake off the dust and keep walking when necessary.
-Katie Maynard


October 1, 2022 – Namaste
Recently, as we have been playing video games as a family, I discovered the power of the “yoga lady” as a Nintendo Wii character.  At first it was fun to laugh as she approached her battles with a front flip and a tree pose, but it became no laughing matter as she began to dominate her challenges! 
Now, in my own experience of yoga, I have not always been able to identify with the strength of this Nintendo yoga character.  In my first practices, I mostly felt wobbly in my poses and struggled to find dignity as I would lose my balance, or fall on my face during a plank.  Admittedly, in trying to greet the light in others (namaste), my own light felt a bit unsteady.

Eventually, I found that strength in yoga comes through patience and repetition, and perhaps more importantly through the breath.  It feels true in life that strength often requires some stages of wobbliness, before our light finds its power. 
-Katie Maynard

October 2, 2022 – The Altar
My daughter Noelle is high energy, and her speed in life is fast, but those who have the fortune of knowing her, know that she brings joy to everyone she meets (I’m biased I know).  With this energy though, she can sometimes struggle with a lack of focus as she rushes through tasks.  The interesting thing however, is that this does not appear to be her limitation as an altar server. 

I am in awe when she serves at the altar because she is not afraid.  She is laser-focused, knows exactly what comes next, and has become a leader in a very short amount of time.  It is beautiful that she has found peace in the movement of the ritual and liturgy through her service.  I suppose I should not be surprised that being on the altar brings about focus and clarity for her, as she sets and serves the table of the Lord. 
-Katie Maynard

Reflections for Sept. 19-25, 2022
September 19, 2022 – Empty Spaces
The philosopher Emanual Kant argues that we are born with a predisposition to experience things through the filter of time and three-dimensional space.  It’s just the way humans are wired; we cannot experience anything other than that.  Science is based on this wiring and allows us to know a lot about the world, but it cannot tell us the reality of what exists in empty space. 

I had assumed that this empty space was actually empty.  Oh I knew there were invisible things like dust mites, germs, and gases that make up “air”, but the idea that there could be other things I am incapable of knowing or identifying in the aisle right beside me was ridiculous.  Then I thought about God!  The Baltimore Catechism taught me that God is everywhere.  I never doubted that, but I had somehow cheapened that belief to mean that He was over and above me, present but somehow at a distance. The idea that God was existing literally in that aisle next to me, was new.  I had often felt His presence but that was an awareness in me, not a reality about the space next to me. Then I learned that the cells in our bodies also have lots of empty space in them.  Could God be there also, actually residing in the very cells that make up who I am?  Of course He is, because He is everywhere!  He is the God of empty spaces.
Jane Haproff
 
September 20, 2022 - The Body
During last week’s severe weather conditions David and I closed ourselves up in our air- conditioned house and binge watched reruns of hospital dramas.  Wow!  There are so many things that can go wrong with the body. I thought about St. Paul referring to the Church as the Mystical Body of Christ and wondered why he chose that particular metaphor.  The body is certainly a unity of many differing parts each with different abilities and purposes, which sounds like the Church. But some of these parts are so hidden that I never even pay attention to them.  I want to explore the spiritual significance of some of these hidden activities of the body. For example, I rarely, if ever think about my spleen or pancreas, organs that filter my blood, clean out old cells and fight infection to name just a few of their activities.  Nor do I think about my hypothalamus that works as a control center keeping my body in a stable state. These organs when healthy do this all the time, whether I’m awake or asleep or want them to or not.  The reasoning ability that I treasure so much and which I use to govern my conscious choices is helpless here.  There is something both frightening and awe-inspiring about this for me.  And it places me squarely in the presence of God who designed this wonderous machine.  There He is… in the very core of my physical existence working away non-stop trying to keep me safe, and helping me function until he calls me home. 
Jane Haproff

September 21, 2022 – Compassion
As I think about the God who inhabits my very being,  I am reminded of the dialogue between Bishop Tutu and the Dalai Lama captured in the film  Mission:  Joy. (on Amazon Prime!). One is Christian and the other Buddhist, but they both believe that we are wired for compassion, that it is part of what it means to be human.  Once cultural influences are stripped away we discover that compassion remains.  Because compassion is basic to our humanity we can only experience happiness and joy when we engage with each other at that level.  Our culture teaches us that happiness is a bigger house, nicer car, more money, etc.  But their message is that if we fail to connect with each other with justice and mercy, listening to and even forgiving those who hurt us we can never by happy. They both agreed that it isn’t easy.  Compassion is like a muscle that must be strengthened through the exercise of prayer and meditation.

So, once again, I find something of God at work in me hidden at the cellular level: compassion.  And once again I am directed to find strength in quiet time with the God who is apparently so much more present in my life than I imagined as that child devoutly praying to be a saint.
Jane Haproff

September 22, 2022 - Relationships
Weeks ago my friend found her partner dead on his bathroom floor.  She and her partner were not married and did not live together.  She was divorced. After her son was accidentally shot her husband was lost in a grief that cost them their marriage. She refused to seek an annulment because she believed they had had a sacramental marriage.  And she would not remarry outside the church.  She was nearly crushed again by the circumstances of this more recent death.  She was angry at God.   I attempted to console her, saying it is okay to be angry at God because often it’s those closest to us who can cause the most anger.  She agreed with me and told me that after her son’s death she would go into the Church in the middle of the night (she was music director and had keys) sit in front of the tabernacle and scream at God, crying in anger.

I tell this story because it speaks to me about layers of relationship and where God is in all of it.  My friend retained a kind of relationship to the ideal that God called her to in her marriage. She was present to her partner through his illness, bringing God’s presence and care to him. She trusted her relationship with God enough to rage at Him for these untimely deaths. Then while watching the Queen’s funeral on TV she heard words of comfort that spoke to her. As she began to weep, a soft rain fell and she felt a holy presence.
Jane Haproff

September 23, 2022 - Preferential Option for the Poor
The weather conditions of a week ago combined with the drought caused me to think about what it must be like to be poor.  We live in air-conditioned comfort about five miles from the DeWitt Center where over one hundred unhoused people camp without water or shade.  An air-conditioned Welcome Center is about a mile from the encampment where bottles of water, a TV and charging stations are available.  No showers or laundry facilities.  The sheriff patrols regularly directing people to mental health and probation services, but the county does not offer more at the actual campsite worrying that might become permanent and offend the neighbors. 

In the early 70’s the Church adopted a position that said when competing interests come into play, those solutions that favor the poor must be chosen because not only did Jesus model that for us, he chose to be one of the poor.  So many gospel stories tell us that He is there in the lives of the poor…unhoused, dirty, thirsty, and neglected.  So I wonder how do I personally live this preferential option for the poor?  Do I choose policies that welcome Him into my neighborhood, or do I look the other way, offering prayers and charity, which is easy to do? I tell myself I’m a good person; I don’t rock the boat.  I lector and write reflections, surely doing what God has asked of me.  But please Lord, don’t ask me to welcome them (you) into my neighborhood!
Jane Haproff

September 24, 2022 - Memory(ies)
Our oldest son recently turned sixty.  David and I decided to put together a memory book for him, each or us identifying our favorite memories of his growing up.  It was difficult.  There were easy memories of his early years.  The memories got harder to recall in those middle years of junior high school and high school; years packed with children’s school events, sporting events, firsts jobs, proms, etc.  All of the things you think you will never forget, but that get buried in the busyness of a large family.  I grieved those lost memories.

As I think about the intensity of the feelings I had in trying to remember significant events for our son, I thought about God and what role memory might play with and for Him/Her.  Scripture describes God has having emotions, such as joy, anger, love.  He rejoices and is pleased and displeased.  God knows everything about me, but does He attach those feelings to individual, specific events in my life? Does He remember when I was unkind to Maria in seventh grade?  Or is His love so prevailing that it actually overrides specific memories so that God is just pure love in the end? I felt such intense love for my son, even though I could not recall all of the details of his life.  I’m guessing that that’s just a whisper of the kind of love God has for me, loving and forgiving at the same time the totality in of who I am, and not dissecting my life event by event.
Jane Haproff

September 25, 2022 - Circularity
Recently Fr. Bony built a homily around how Jesus is the host at the Eucharistic feast where he provides the food that is His body and then sends us out to be no longer His guests but His presence in the world, commissioned to be hosts now to other people. Soon after that at another Mass as I heard the words of the Eucharistic Prayer I recognized another circular relationship.  We entreat God to sanctify the gifts of bread and wine that we bring to the altar, then the words of consecration are said over them and they become the Body and Blood of Jesus. But this bread and wine is nothing but the ordinary work of our hands which is now God. Then Father offers Jesus to the Lord as a sacrifice.  Jesus, Lord himself, is offered to the Lord; God offers Himself as sacrifice to Himself!  I don’t think I ever fully realized what this all means. God takes the ordinariness of our life, blesses it and it becomes both spiritual food for us and sacrifice for us.  All these words have been part of my vocabulary all of my life.  But the reality of the meaning of what God has done for me is staggering.  These circles of meaning say so much about how God must love us.  I am left with the realization again:  Lord I am not worthy.
Jane Haproff

Reflections for Sept, 12-18, 2022

September 12, 2022—The Chosen

At Confirmation in our parish a few weeks ago, the Bishop encouraged our 80+ confirmandi to read the Bible.  I think a great addition to the Bishop’s thoughtful advice might be to encourage the confirmandi to also watch The Chosen. The Chosen is the first-ever multi-season TV series about the life of Christ.  Two seasons have been released with a total of 7 planned.

A contributor to the Jesuit publication, America, wrote: “The church and the faithful need this show. But in all the … education that has formed my faith, it never occurred to me that the apostles had full lives with families, jobs, commitments, and challenges, just like I do—and that Jesus disrupts all of that when he arrives.” 

When I was in formation to be a deacon, I had over three years of scripture study.  So, at first, I was reluctant to watch another movie about the life of Christ.  My wife, though, had never formally studied the Bible; and The Chosen provided a poignant perspective for her.  Together we binge watched Seasons 1 and 2 in under two weeks.  I found the series to be very faithful to the Gospels, but the stories were presented with some “creative license” to allow you to imagine that you were there.  I found Jesus very human, so his decisions involved questioning and trust and doubt.

Many of the episodes brought tears to our eyes.  Probably the most poignant was the conversion of Mary Magdalene.  Watching this series allowed us to experience Christ and the Bible in a whole new way.

Bob Leathers


September 13, 2022—The Four Gifts

A few weeks ago, Cindy and I saw the play, The Four Gifts, based on the book with the same name by Fr. Joe Bradley, a priest in the Archdiocese of San Francisco.  Presented at Hillbarn Theatre in Foster City, Fr. Joe was there himself for its final showing.  Imagine being a happy and dedicated young priest who gave wonderful homilies (and inspired some of mine!), inspired his students, offered hope when needed, and loved the people he served, only to find out that you had a short time to live unless you received a heart transplant.

No one would ever have guessed Joe Bradley would become a priest.  He was both an alcoholic and a drug addict.  Regretfully, he gave drugs to a friend who was injured in a car crash and later died.  Yet God called this man to be a priest.

God gifted Joe to (1) reclaim his faith, (2) become sober and be ordained a priest, (3) receive a new heart, and (4) have a new life.

Father Joe’s life offers me encouragement whenever I fall short.  Recently, a friend confided that he lost his temper with his mom who has early onset dementia.  I reminded him of the times I lost it with my own mom who also suffered from dementia.  Since we are human, God can do nothing with us if we are perfect.  No matter what our struggles are God calls us to new life whenever we fall short. 

Bob Leathers

September 14, 2022—Eucharist as Paradox
When I was in diaconate formation, my canon law professor summed up the 1,752 Church canons as follows: If you are going to err, err on the side of charity.  Pope Francis himself said as much in a recent interview, “What should a shepherd do? They must be a shepherd with God's style. And God's style is closeness, compassion and tenderness.”
As a Catholic, I believe our faith is full of paradoxes.  For example, if you want to have life, you must be willing to carry your cross.  The bread that becomes Eucharist is also a paradox:  The bread is a source of joy, strength and nourishment, but to become bread, the kernels of wheat must be crushed.

Ron Rolheiser, OMI, is one of my favorite spiritual writers.  Some years ago, he published a reflection on the Eucharist that really struck me:  For some it is a celebration of reconciliation, a ritual that forgives and unites, for others unity and reconciliation are pre-conditions for its proper celebration. Another paradox! Perhaps there is truth in both.

Bob Leathers

September 15, 2022—Uncle Mike 

When I was growing up in Miami, I lived in a 3-bedroom, one bath home with my parents, my grandmother, and my grandmother’s brother, Uncle Mike.  Uncle Mike was my favorite uncle and he loved me as if I were his son. He never drove a car, so occasionally he’d take me on bus rides all over town.  We even joked one day that we might take a Greyhound Bus ride all the way across the country to California!

As a young boy, I became pretty adept at putting on puppet shows, so Uncle Mike built a puppet stage for me that I could use with hand puppets as well as marionettes.  When I was a bit older, because we had such a small house, Uncle Mike and I shared a room together.  One day, I came home from school to learn that Uncle Mike had moved out of the house into his own apartment a couple of miles away, and this upset me and our family.  Uncle Mike was also quite stubborn, a trait I’m afraid still runs in my family (including me, I’m told), because no amount of persuasion from my mother and grandmother convinced him to come back home.  This experience never left me, but it was years later before I realized that Uncle Mike moved out of the house because he loved me and wanted me to have my own room in our small house.  What a wonderful gift of self-less love!  

Bob Leathers

September 16, 2022—Lewis and Clark

This summer, Cindy and I took a 7-day river cruise along the Snake and Columbia Rivers in the Pacific Northwest.  We experienced beautiful scenery, great food, and outstanding service in a new river boat equipped with many amenities.  During the cruise, we went through 8 locks and learned a great deal about the Pacific Northwest including about the explorers Meriwether Lewis and William Clark who with their crew were charged with discovering a path to the Pacific Ocean from St. Louis.  The exploration spanned over two years in the early 1800s (during the presidency of Thomas Jefferson following the Louisiana Purchase).

On their expedition, Lewis and Clark and their crew endured many hardships including frigid weather, storms, hazardous terrain and hunger.  They encountered and had to interact and communicate with many Native American tribes.  I can’t help but imagine how their grit, determination and courage paved the way for the generations that followed them, including Cindy and me on a relaxing river cruise through 8 locks. 

From time to time, we sing the hymn, “Go Make a Difference,” at our Sunday masses.  Probably without knowing it, Lewis and Clark and their expeditionary team made a difference.  God put them in the right place at the right time and with the right gifts and skills, and we are the beneficiaries who get to enjoy the fruits of their efforts.  

Bob Leathers

September 17, 2022—World’s Greatest Rosary Collection

Believe it or not, the world’s largest rosary collection is not in a museum at the Vatican, but in the Spiritual Quest Gallery of the Columbia Gorge Interpretative Center in Stevenson, Washington.  Cindy and I toured the Center during a stop on our river cruise along the Columbia River this summer.

Nearly 4,000 rosaries are displayed along with other religious artifacts associated with Pacific Northwest history.  A few of the rosaries have historical significance including one donated by President John F. Kennedy which he may have used during World War II before he became president

The collection is attributed to Don Brown, who grew up and lived in the area. His devotion grew out of his confinement in a hospital with a severe attack of pneumonia.  He observed that the rosaries were being worn by the Sisters of Mercy, and the rosaries inspired him to adopt the Catholic faith.

Seeing this magnificent collection gave me pause to reflect on my own collection of 5 or 6 rosaries, including a couple of finger rosaries.  I’ve been through periods in my life where I’ve prayed the rosary daily and other times when I have not.  The important thing I’ve realized, though, is to pray as you can and not as you can’t.  At times, it’s easy to pray spontaneously; at other times, I need the repetitiveness of the prayers in the rosary.  How I pray continues to evolve and I’ve come to realize that spending time with God—who always loves us—is what is most important.

Bob Leathers

September 18, 2022—Cursillo

At SS. Peter & Paul, we are very blessed to have a very active Cursillo group.  Cursillo is a Spanish word for “short course in Christ.”  This is my brief Cursillo story:

In 1977, two friends encouraged me to make a Cursillo weekend.  I had first heard about Cursillo from my pastor, who established the Cursillo movement in South Florida.  Witnessing how Cursillo made the faith of my two friends become alive made me want to attend one, and so they sponsored me.

The weekend itself was wonderful, but the experience the next day changed my life.  On the Monday morning following Cursillo, April 18th, I drove to work in downtown Miami, parked the car at a meter, and then had an overwhelming experience of the presence of Christ. From this day forward, I went to Mass because I wanted to and not out of habit.  For the 9 months following this experience, I spoke openly of my faith, and I was on cloud nine! 

The Cursillo experience enlivened and deepened my faith.  Another result was that my prayer life deepened, I began to study my faith, and I became more active in Church service.  Ultimately, it led me to consider a call to become a deacon.   Retreat experiences like Cursillo give us a chance to let God in and spend time with God, enable opportunities to experience the presence of Christ, and transform both us and the Church.

Bob Leathers





Reflections for Sept. 5-11, 2022

September 5, 2022 - Pruning & Gardening
I am not a gardener, but I enjoy experiencing a well landscaped piece of property.  Recently I went to Butchart Gardens and took in all the amazing beauty that surrounded me.  There was such a sense of peace that came over me as I walked around the grounds taking endless pictures.  It inspired me to think of ways that maybe I could try gardening at home on a small scale.  I desire to have some fresh food that I can grow on my own even if it is simple herbs or fruits that you plant in pots.  What holds me back from moving forward with this desire is the need to prune and the potential for it not to work.  The doubt of what if the plants die?  What if there is no harvest? What if I don’t take the time to make sure the garden is well tended?  My mind then returns to the luscious grounds at Butchart Gardens and I am in awe. I cannot even begin to fathom the amount of time and resources it takes to maintain the grounds there.  I know my garden will look quite different and I am not opposed to that.  I am held back with the doubt of investing time, energy, money into something and not getting a “return”.  Oh, what if God thought of us like that?!  God prunes us in ways we may not even realize and puts on our heart to go beyond what we thought possible.  As we get ready to begin the season of Fall, I look forward to the beginning of the change of seasons, the leaves, and the eventual fall.  Though we go through seasons many times over I pray this season is one where I ponder how God is pruning me and helping me to grow my spiritual garden. 
Bianca Hennager

September 6, 2022 - Truth and Love
“Do not accept anything as the truth if it lacks love. And do not accept anything as love which lacks truth.” (Edith Stein).  This quote has become a cornerstone for me as I interact with others.  What I say does matter and needs to be thoughtful and spoken with love.   Often, I have let my emotions get the better of me and will blurt out some flippant response not realizing the impact it may have on those that I love.  Typically, when this happens, I circle back afterwards asking for forgiveness, but I feel like the damage has already been done.  It is hard to take back words after they are spoken.  Recently I had the opportunity to put this quote into practice and let me tell you it was hard.  It required a lot of self-control and reflection on what was really bothering me and how I could speak it with love.  The outcome of the conversation was beautiful though.  Our ability to come together to see what we have in common and what we want as an outcome was productive and life giving.  Both of us walked away with a clearer picture of what we each needed to do.  We put a plan in action to get us the outcome we wanted.
Bianca Hennager

September 7, 2022 - Discipline
The word discipline means to train or to teach someone to obey rules or a code of behavior.  As I was reading a passage from St. Paul he stated, “Endure your trials as discipline; God treats you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?” (Hebrews 12:7-8).   Reading that Scripture was an “ah-ha” moment for me as to how I approach my trials.  If I view my trials as something to get through and “why me” then I am losing sight of the discipline it is teaching me.  If I tend to have a “Job” complex – why can’t anything go right in my life, then I am missing out on the love that God has for me to help train me up in the ways he wants for me.  Looking at my trials as disciplining myself, I have become strengthened and overall a more spirite filled individual.  Thank you, Lord, for all the ways you are helping me to become more disciplined and closer to you through my trials.
Bianca Hennager

September 8, 2022 - Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Mary and Michael! As a cradle Catholic, I must admit I was not aware of September 8^th being the birthday of our Blessed Mother until I had my second son, Michael born on the same day.  We celebrate Mary’s Immaculate Conception on December 8^th as a Holy Day but not her birthday.  One of the most poignant things I remember from my birth experience with Michael was the phrase “let it go.”  This simple phrase held so much meaning as I had to let go of what I thought my birth experience was going to be, what eventually happened, and how I would move beyond it.  I imagine Mary’s fiat being similar; her willingness to do God’s will meant she had to let go of what she may have wanted. She had to trust in God that he would make all things work.  And boy did he!  Through Mary God gave us our Lord and Savior Jesus, which is the most awesome gift, beyond what we could imagine.  Mary serves as a pivotal role model for me as a Mother, woman, and follower of Christ.  Her willingness to be open to doing what God wanted in her life is awe-inspiring.  The depth of her faith inspires me to trust more in God even when things seem impossible. 
Bianca Hennager

September 9, 2022 - Thank You for My fork
When my two boys were old enough to speak, I started teaching them common Catholic prayers such as Prayer before meals, Our Father, and Hail Mary.  After our prayer before meals, we would go around the table and say one thing we were thankful for.  My oldest son John would say joyfully, “thank you for my fork.”  The first couple of times he said this, it was endearing. He was about three years old and had a strong vocabulary.  Day after day he would thank God for the items placed in front of him; his Spiderman cup, his plate, his napkin, and the list continued.  One day when I was meeting with his preschool teacher, Sr. Olga, I shared my annoyance at the lack of reverence my three old year had.  Out of all the things he could be thankful for, he is choosing objects at the dinner table.  Sr. Olga looked at me with loving eyes and said, “there are many people in this world who don’t have these items.”  Sr. Olga was right; there are many people in this world without utensils to use when they eat, or cups to drink from.  I was humbled by her lovingly reminder that even the simple things that we often take for granted are worthy of our gratitude.  Now when we go around the dinner table and my children (much older) offer up their thankfulness, I use it as a reminder of all of the wonderful blessings we have and not to take anything for granted, even the simple things like forks. 
Bianca Hennager

September 10, 2022 - Is Today the Day?
My Mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer last October with a prognosis of 6 to 12 months.  The last week she has turned a corner in her struggle, and we can more immediately see her nearing the end of life.  I am not really experienced with the end of life experience; however, I am learning a lot about this phase.  I liken it to when I was pregnant and had reached a certain point in the pregnancy where you are “ready” to have the baby.  It just reminds me how circular life is and how we are so impatient for God’s timing.  When things are beyond our control and we have no real sense of time, but we want to move through whatever “it” is quickly.  My husband shared how he dreads getting a phone call or seeing a text from family member(s).  He confessed to me, “is today going to be the day that I lose my mom?”  My heart hurts seeing him and the rest of the family as they come together to provide comfort and peace to their mother.  I continually lift them up in prayer but have no answer as to when the day will come.  The family is all together keeping a vigilant watch on their mother, tending to her in her final days.  “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour” (Mt 25:13).
Bianca Hennager

September 11, 2022 - Lost but Now Found
The story of the Prodigal Son is a famous Gospel parable and one of my favorites.  When I was re-reading this Gospel something different sparked my curiosity.  I wonder what made the Prodigal Son want to return.  Why that day did the prodigal son decide to return home?  As my imagination got the better of me with all kinds of possibilities it had me questioning all sorts of situations like where someone may feel lost and then finds themselves.  Take for example, the alcoholic – what makes them stop drinking or what makes the addict get their last fix?  I am reminded that each day we wake up and we can make a choice whether to be lost or to come back to our Father.  The choice is ours to be welcomed into his embrace and to be found.  I can imagine the amount of shame the son must have felt knowing how he had disappointed his father.  I am sure the son felt a fair amount of guilt too.  Despite those overwhelming feelings, the feeling of needing to be home outweighed the guilt and shame.  I pray for all those who may be lost that they feel the need to come home and be welcomed as the Gospel tells us to welcome our lost brothers and sisters.    
Bianca Hennager



Reflections for Aug. 29-Sept. 4, 2022

August 29, 2022 - The Leap of Faith
Our Family Ministry group used to camp at Scott’s Flat Lake every summer. One of the ongoing traditions was to take a short hike to the spillway on the lake. Above it was a catwalk over a deep area of water. Depending on the height of the lake that year, the jump could be a 10-to-20-foot drop into the water. The kids would line up in their swimsuits, with their little legs shaking with excitement, adrenaline, and anxiety as they prepared to jump off. They were encouraged to face their fear and jump as everyone cheered them on. After the plunge, they would emerge from the water with such pride and accomplishment.

I’m reminded of moments like these when fear and anxiety overwhelm me. Hopefully our children will remember this as well. They all did a hard and scary thing but succeeded with their bravery and the support of their community. Taking risks, whether they are physical or spiritual can be difficult and frightening. But the reward is great. Musician Alanis Morrisette puts it best in her song “Thank You.” She sings “the moment I jumped off of it was the moment I touched down.” In other words, pushing past our fear can bring us great peace, fulfilment, and self-awareness.

With our faith in God, the power of the Holy Spirit, and the support of those around us, we can do hard things. And it makes for great campfire stories!
Jen Payan

August 30, 2022 - Mass Under the Trees
Camping with the Family Ministry group brings back so many fond memories. Every summer during our camping trip at Scott’s Flat Lake our group would celebrate mass. We would set an altar right in the middle of camp and our talented parishioners would organize a liturgy. The children would take on many roles in the mass. One of our priests would join us and preside over mass in the beautiful, forested campground as we sat around in our camping chairs.

One year we met another Catholic group that was staying on the other side of the campground and we invited them to our mass. The next thing we knew people were flocking to our camp with their chairs to celebrate the liturgy.  Our gathering had over doubled in size and we up  realized we may have a “loaves and fishes” scenario on our hands! We had not accounted for the volume of hosts we may need for our mass. Yet, all who came for communion were able to receive. While it was probably just Michelle Pfister’s creative work of divvying up all the hosts, I would like to think it was the same as Jesus feeding such a large group of believers in the gospel story. As in scripture, we probably even had some left over!

Most importantly, this mass brought groups of strangers together. Even in a dusty campground, under tall trees, without a building or electricity, we were able to take part in the Eucharistic celebration. That is the gift of the Catholic faith.
Jen Payan

August 31, 2022 - Donating Life
Over my career in as a trauma nurse I’ve been able to witness the most precious gift one family can give another – organ donation. It is truly a spiritual experience simultaneously witnessing the loss and preservation of life. This is because it reminds me so much of the sacrifice that Jesus made for us on the cross.

Before Jesus, the Jewish faith required an animal sacrifice for the forgiveness of sins. When Jesus arrived on scene, he stated that he was going to change that tradition. He told us he would give his own life to atone for all our sins. God’s people would no longer have to use the sacrificial mediator for forgiveness. He gave us direct access to God’s forgiveness. He gifted us with a fresh start and literally a new life.  

I’m always reminded of this gesture when a tragic loss of life results in the saving of many lives. I’ve aided in procuring a new heart for a young father of 3 children, new lungs for a lady who had been struggling to breath for years, and a new kidney to a teen. This is always with immense gratitude for the dying and their family that made the decision to donate life. Do you have a little pink sticker on your driver’s license?
Jen Payan

September 1, 2022 - Impact of a Believer
As a young adult when I left home, faith was not my priority. I became so independent I felt that I didn’t even need God. Then, I found myself in a challenging job where I witnessed so much tragedy that I even questioned the existence of God. My spiritual and mental health suffered.

One day as I was in an ICU room caring for severely a injured teen that was dying, I overheard a remarkable conversation. The patient’s mother was speaking to a close friend at the bedside with her. She stated she had been overcome with so much anxiety and grief the day before that she could hardly function. Then she had gone home and just started praying. She was able to fall asleep that night and the next morning woke up with a huge sense of peace. She felt calm and able to face the terrible road ahead.

I had been quietly working on the IV pumps in the corner of the room. She probably never even realized that I was listening. But her words and actions changed my life. She brought me back to God. I realized that God had to be present in the world if he was able to bring peace to someone experiencing the worst situation imaginable. She will never know her impact. I often reflect on how my actions and speech regarding my faith can influence others without even being aware.
Jen Payan

September 2,  2022 - Who Are Your People?
As I have aged, I’ve learned the importance of friendship and fellowship. The quality and beliefs of those I surround me has made all the difference as I’ve faced the challenges in my life. I appreciate that God has surrounded me with friends that really fill my cup. I know He is always presenting me with people that I can connect with. Whether they are friends for life or a shorter period, they are of great value.
 
Occasionally, the time and closeness would be brief, but it always met a certain need in my life. Or maybe I was meant to be of help or service to them. Then there is an ebb and flow in a long-term friendship. Over the years I would be able to offer support and care to my best friend at times, then require just as much help from her in a difficult time of my own life. My bible study friends have been so special since we all share our faith.

No matter what, the friends that have surrounded me over the years certainly have been gifts from God and I am truly grateful.
Jen Payan

September 3, 2022 - Mary
Growing up my Grandma Eagle had a small Mary plaque that hung in her bedroom. When she passed away I chose to keep it as a remembrance of her. I remember bringing it home and walking around my house looking for the perfect place to hang it. I was drawn to a small wall near the closet in my daughter’s room. This was my “spirited” child that I always felt I needed a little more grace and patience with. This was the perfect spot for the Blessed Mother!

Shortly after hanging it up I returned home after a long day out and smelled something burning upstairs. I traced the smell to her room where I found some burned up pajamas hanging from a nightlight that was plugged into the wall. They must have been thrown unintentionally on the hot light as my daughter got dressed that morning. Fortunately, they had burnt themselves out and not caused a fire or any other damage. Suspended above the nightlight was the Mother Mary I had hung on that wall the day before!

Whether it was a miracle of just fire-retardant PJ’s I will never know. But, it reminded me how our Lady is watching over my family constantly. Even now, when I can’t be present with my children I know she is there protecting and interceding on our behalf. Thank you Mary!
Jen Payan

September 4, 2022 - Fire
For many years our family would camp on the south shore of Lake Tahoe for a few weeks every summer. We would enjoy hikes and mountain biking through the thick green forest. Then the Angora fire occurred. It destroyed homes and thousands of acres. The following summer it was heartbreaking to pedal through the desolate trails. The earth was barren with old ash and cinder and the forest had gone completely quiet without the birds and wildlife. It is eerie, but when I stopped my bike and took it all in, it was strangely peaceful. Almost like I had been transported to another planet. The following year, I returned for the ride and found some shoots of new trees emerging and small grassy areas with new plants. Each year as I rode the trail it grew lusher and the forest noises of wildlife and insects returned. After a period of years it returned to its original beauty with all new growth.

Scripture uses the example of purification by fire many times. Jesus even speaks of it. We also symbolize the Holy Spirit with it. My experience riding that trail in Tahoe was such a reminder of how the fire of our faith can help us get rid of the old and start anew. God has always made that available to us, especially with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Jen Payan

Reflections for Aug. 22-28, 2022
August 22, 2022 - A Walk with Christ
When you get together in the Cursillo movement it is customary to share your closest moment with Christ.  I’m not a big sharer, nor, I think, are a lot of people.  As a result, we hear of the closest moment as getting together with family, having the kids (or grandkids) visit, a special homily heard, maybe a trip to an impressive church.  Or in a rare sharing, you might hear something really touching.  What you don’t hear is of Jesus tapping you on the shoulder or running beside you in the turkey trot, carrying on a conversation.  

What is unsaid is the fact that the same men who shared about their family get-togethers went out of their way to pick up a guy who needs a walker to come to this meeting.  That they drive - on a regular basis - all the way from Davis to be part of our community.  That they leaned over to a loved one in church to tell them that they loved them.  To me, I feel as if I’ve truly encountered Christ when I am witness to these things -when I see our faith in action - It isn’t getting together with family so much as being Christlike yourself.  As Catholics, we know that Christ lives in us. We become His hands and feet.   And it is the realization that the small, loving things that I do for others on a regular basis is truly an extension of Christ working through me.  So I can honestly say that today, my closest moment with Christ is being among those who are indeed, the embodiment of Jesus.
Don Eagle

August 23, 2022 - Look Around
To me God is not “in heaven” so much as I feel that God is all around me.  He is in the beauty of a sunset, the majesty of a mountain, the serenity of a lake, and the eyes of a child.  The Romans simply put a different God in charge of most anything, whereas the Israelites had one God in charge of everything.  To us, He is all encompassing, everywhere, and everlasting.  In short, God is, as our hymn goes, “standing right beside me.”  From my first breath to my last, I feel that God is with me, no matter what.  There have been occasions in my life where I felt His presence more than others.   In college, I was involved in a terrible car accident.  Coming out of the Caldicot Tunnel, the Volkswagen I was riding in was sideswiped by an oncoming car, causing us to flip the car, skidding upside down to the edge of a steep embankment.  My date and I, as well as the driver and his date, managed to extract ourselves from the upside down car, and walk away virtually unscathed.  We should all have been killed, yet God was the fifth passenger in that vehicle. I think he had other plans for our future.  God was with us then and continues to be.  As a humorous aside, the first thing we did upon exiting the car was to turn the car radio off so we wouldn’t run down the battery (of the totally destroyed car)!
Don Eagle

August 24, 2022 - On This Note…
Pope John Paul II once said, “I have a sweet tooth for song and music.  This is my Polish sin.” Like the Pope, I too have a sweet tooth for music and it has always been a big part of my life.  I get spiritually lost when I listen to a great piece of music and feel an affinity towards God.  He is there from the overture to the finale.  He is there from the whisper to the crescendo.  From the deep notes of an alto to the high notes of a coloratura soprano, my whole being appreciates and loves the complexity involved.  The harmony of orchestral instruments, all working together, spell out the wonder of creation, the sense of God Himself.  I am inspired when I sit in the lap of God and feel the harmony of the universe, the bursting forth of spiritual energy, the joy of being.  To me, music is a gift that man gives back to God.  It is one of those rare gifts that enrich the soul and allows your spirit to soar. Just listen to the works of Mozart, Gabrielli or Charpentier.   Music is the hallmark of many occasions.  Think of the simple Happy Birthday song, graduation marches, wedding music, concerts, liturgical themes, and finally, to music played at a funeral.  When I think about it, music stands alone.  Enhancing, enchanting, embracing, and giving my spirit-filled life a decided boost.  I’m not too sure about all those harps in heaven, I’m hoping for a full-on orchestra, replete with a big choir and some really great soloists.  I’m hoping that Pavarotti, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and Toscanini will be performing when I finally get to see God’s face. (Well, maybe one harp will be okay).  
Don Eagle

August 25, 2022 - A Sailor’s Tale
To me, sailing is putting yourself in the hands of God as you voyage through life, quietly, confidently, with love and with purpose.  One of my very favorite images of God can be likened to sailing. This relationship has been to me, as like a child with a toy boat.  As an adult, I not only found joy in sailing, but had a very personal experience with God himself.  Think of it.  You are afloat on the sea,( life) in nothing but a small hull.  You are totally dependent on the wind (the breath of God) to move you, to get you going, skimming across a surface that hides danger below.  You use that wind to get to your destination.  And that wind fills your sails, refreshes you as you go.  You have a destination in mind, and the key to that destination is in discovering how to get there.  You need to know where to go, which direction to follow.  Enter the second person of the Trinity, showing you the way.  Knowing where your ultimate destination is, and having the help to get there, you realize that you are one with the Father.  It is you, and the Father, and the Son, driven by the Spirit, that fulfills your journey across the water.  The wind is quiet, yet you hear the rush of water against your hull.  You drive through the waves, experience the storms, but using your direction, you see where you are going.  When your sails are lowered, you arrive at your destination.  At peace, to enjoy the calm and serenity of your anchorage.  
Don Eagle

August 26,2022 - Camaraderie
Every year I attend the Men’s Day of Prayer sponsored by the men of St. Mel’s Parish.  It’s always well attended with several hundred men attending and hearing a dynamic guest speaker.  Attendees come from every corner of the diocese.  Last Spring Fr. Matthew Spencer was the guest speaker, a priest who has been close to our SS Peter & Paul for many years.  This year, his take on St. Joseph was both profound and enlightening.  Beyond the conference itself, I always come away with a deeper meaning imbedded in such meetings.  Aside from learning and taking notes, I am always impressed with the brotherhood of the men attending.  Beyond the handshakes and hugs, there is a commonality of belief, a sense of purpose, a feeling of mutual love of one another, all which lead to strong Catholic community.  I have experienced new-found friendships that stretch across many Diocesan parishes, men who have found they are not alone in their beliefs, and yearn to discover their inherent Christian being. Our common goals are summed up in the Cursillo statement to “Find a friend, be a friend, and bring a friend to Christ” through piety, study, and action. Those are the watchwords, and, discovering that we are not alone, the camaraderie engendered at these get-togethers is the underlying feeling I get beyond the event itself.  
Don Eagle

August 27, 2022 -  Sun Shines Forth
Granted, It’s a simple song.  And yet it is so meaningful (at least to me) because it spells out both a spiritual reckoning and one that deals with personal relationships.  
            You are my sunshine
            My only sunshine.
            You make me happy
            When skies are gray
            You’ll never know dear how much I love you,
            Please don’t take my sunshine away.
What starts out as a fun tune quickly switches into one of commitment, love, and fear.  The words are actually quite stirring, and I envision God in every line.  The same goes for feelings toward my wife.  Funny how the two are inextricably entwined, and how those words bounce off of each, enhancing the other.  This little ditty speaks of our relationship with God from the time of our birth until the curtain falls.  It also speaks of the person who makes our life complete, and of how deep love grows, confessing that life would be incomplete without her.  (Or him, as the case may be). 

 If I look at this song as a sort of prayer, I read into it that God is all around me, bringing joy to my life, and being ever at my side.  And I, in turn, love Him and always want him with me.  
If I look at this song as an expression of my feelings toward my wife, I complete the picture of mutual love and support, never wanting it to end.
Don Eagle

August 28, 2022 - Quiet Time
In a world filled with ever-increasing noise, how wonderful it is to unplug, and experience the sweetness of quiet.  Cell phones, messaging, emails, robocalls, direct mail and the direct exposure to 3,000 messages a day deprive one of the time to sit back and think, pray, and contemplate.  I find that reflecting on spiritual things is heavily compromised by the constant barrage of others seeking your attention, support, or distraction.  I’m thinking that the church has long recognized the power of solitude, of solitary prayer, and of the rapture of focus.  Monks, hermits, and cloistered women have all discovered the value of losing themselves in the mysteries of God.  

Jesus began his ministry by prayer and reflection — alone, communing with the Father.  And, throughout the New Testament, He withdraws to be alone to pray, even to the final Garden of Gethsemane prayer. 
I personally think that withdrawing, seeking solitude and time to think, is a real must for spiritual health.  I love to turn off my cell phone, let the robocalls go unanswered, and dump the direct mail solicitations in the wastebasket.  I’d much rather use my brain to think of loftier things. I’d really prefer to contemplate a life that is giving in a spiritual sense.  Quietly, listening and not talking.  And I am reminded now and then of how God appeared — not in the thunder, not in the earthquake nor the fire, but in a tiny whispering sound.
Don Eagle

Reflections for Aug. 15-21, 2022
August 15, 2022 -As Needed

My wife and I eat an almost exclusively plant-based diet.  This reminded me of a proverb from 1826: 'Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are', which we hear as, ‘You are what you eat’.  Thinking about this, I realized that the wisdom of this goes beyond the plate or palate.  I am, or more correctly, I become, what I consume.  For health considerations, this is well described.  If I eat high calorie low fiber foods, with plenty of sugar, salt, and fat I will develop medical problems.  If children or the elderly do not get sufficient protein, they will either not grow or dwindle faster. 

But how about the other things I consume?  My society is often referred to as a consumer economy.  I consume energy, natural resources, and manufactured goods.   I ask myself whether I am consuming to keep my body and mind strong, to serve others, express my faith and live a Christian life, or am I addicted to consuming.  What do I consume as entertainment when I read, listen, or watch?   Do I consume because it gives me pleasure or provide a sense of security and power or do I consume only as needed to be a healthy member of the Body of Christ?  Do I consume while others of God’s children do not have merely enough to survive?  Do I figuratively consume their lives for my own?  As I go about my day today, I will ask myself, ‘What have I become?’ 
Ray Frink

Aug. 16, 2022 - Buffalo and Penguins

Lately I’ve been trying to hear God in my life.  I believe He is there; I just want some clarity.   This is not the first time, nor the last time, I will do this.  I am trying to expand my daily prayer, hear the whisper of His voice, or see a sign.  I am seeking instruction in dealing with the storms, great and small, of life.  As is often the case, two examples from nature showed me how to address my current storms.

These two examples involve buffalo, cows, and penguin chicks.  When a storm is approaching over the Great Plains the storm usually comes from the west and moves to the east. Cows and buffalo go in opposite directions.   Cows flee before the storm and since they are slow, they actually move along with the storm and prolong their discomfort and pain.  Trying to escape the storm only worsens their condition.  Buffalo turn and charge the storm, moving toward the storm and shortening the time the storm controls their lives.  God in nature tells me there are times I need to charge the storm. 

During a cold and windy winter penguin chicks huddle in mass to protect themselves from the cold.  Chicks in the interior move to the outside and outside chicks move to the interior regularly so that all are protected most of the time. God in nature tells me there are times when I need my spiritual community to protect me and times when I protect them.
Ray Frink

August 17, 2022 - Missing You

I am often asked if I miss actively practicing medicine.  Family members and close friends think I still do because I say “the shingle is always out”, a reference to the old routine of a newly minted doctor hanging a sign or ‘shingle’ to advertise their presence.  I take calls about medicine from family at all hours.

My answer to missing medicine is always the same.  I miss the people: my patients, my medical coworkers, and the non-medical support staff including the environmental staff.  When I heard that one of our SS. Peter and Paul staff tries to smile at everyone she encounters, I adopted this for the hospital and office cleaners.  I miss them because they most appreciated the simple recognition a smile brought.  They were not invisible to me and I appreciated the thorough, necessary, and usually thankless, jobs they did. 
          Jesus was always concerned about the people.  Did they have enough to eat.?  Did they understand what He was saying?  Did they receive the spiritual guidance they deserved from the clergy of the time?  In scripture, after his encounter with the Samaritan women we read of Jesus healing many, probably to the point of exhaustion. Jesus healed without regard to position or station in life.  There was no seeking influence or good will from those He cured.  For Jesus, the most genuine expression of Himself, was to feed, teach, cure, love.  May I have the wisdom and strength to remember these four goals.
Ray Frink

August 18, 2022 - Change the Script
In the world of television, Captain Kirk of Star Trek provides an example of overcoming.  A recurring commentary is how Captain Kirk survived a test with an absolutely no-win scenario.  He alters the computer program.  He is accused of cheating.  His response is: “I changed the conditions of the test”, or as I say, he changed the script. 
       
If I have learned anything about sin or acting in a way I would prefer to avoid, it is that these acts tend to repeat themselves.   Most are private.  Sin is more often personal.  These are not on the front page of the Sacramento Bee.   
         
Advice that I recently heard given to a teenager on the avoidance of sin stayed with me.  I paraphrase the advice:  If you can identify a pattern of thought, emotion, or behavior that occurs before you act, then change the script.  This simple advice is not easy.  It requires reflection, planning, and commitment.  It requires recognition of what those triggers may be that start me down the path.  Then there is the moment-to-moment decision to change course, to redirect my energy away from sin, and toward a better choice, use of time, or avoidance of temptation.  There is the possibility of failure because often it is easier to follow a familiar path.   These moments of choice are made a little easier with prayer, a quick reminder that the needed extra bit of strength is available.
Ray Frink

August 19, 2022 - Preserve, Protect, and Defend
From previous reflections some readers may have guessed that the natural world is sacred to me and that is where I find God most often.  That I believe this is reflected in the gifts God has given me.  How else can I explain my sometimes-insatiable curiosity about the world in which we live?   If you don’t spend time in nature, you don’t know what you’re missing.  For many men and women, some of whom were my patients, this could have been disastrous. 
         
Meet the Pacific Yew tree.  Known as an excellent wood for archery bows, cabinetry, musical instruments, and carving, the bark of this tree also naturally makes a compound with extraordinary anti-cancer properties.  The compound is no silver bullet curing cancer.  Its discovery and development did revolutionize cancer therapy for ovarian, breast, and other cancers in my lifetime.  Why this long exposition on a tree?
         
God gave me the natural world to discover, enjoy, and acknowledge its untold treasures.  During my career I often exited my home each day, got in a car, did my job and returned home without ever looking at a flower, plant, or tree.  I often unconsciously assumed that what nature provided me was to be used without thought of the implications.  I wonder what other untold treasures await us in nature.  How much bigger can my life be if I simply look around?  Who knows what I may find if I look with an open mind and open heart?
Ray Frink

August 20, 2022 - Music Leads the Way
When I was younger, along with popular music, I listened to many works of classical music.  I enjoyed the range of feelings that the music allowed me to experience even when I could not or would not experience those feelings by myself.  This has continued over the years.  When I passed my exams for my doctorate I opened the windows of my dorm room and played Beethoven on the stereo as loud as I could tolerate.   Music was an important part of my graduate school religious experience.  Music played a prominent role in my wedding.  I have sung some hymns for so many years I have the words memorized.  There are certain songs sung at SS. Peter and Paul that will lift my spirits, bring a smile to my face and almost bring tears to my eyes.   I have picked out the music for my celebration of life when that time comes.
         
I believe deeply in the saying by St Augustine:  To sing is to pray twice.  My dad had a very good voice as a younger man, my mom not so much.  Still they both sang at church.  It didn’t matter how they sounded.  Sound rises to the heavens. This is both a request and a prayer today. When I gather with others for any celebration of our faith, I will sing.   I don’t want to sing alone.  The Trinity is deserving of our voices.  Those voices do not need to be perfect. 
Ray Frink

August 21, 2022 - Revealing Myself
“This is perhaps the greatest risk that any of us will take, to be seen as we really are.”  The narrator of a movie based on the fable of Cinderella, speaks this at a critical moment.  When I was a child, I felt no need to hide who I was.  I didn’t think about it.  Around the age of 12 and from then on, the opinions of others, the values of the world, weighed on my mind.  In response, I studied hard, worked hard, shielded myself from hurt, and kept to myself.  Although I could protect myself from the pain of being known, I realized in my 20’s that this was no way to live.  Aided by the encouragement of mentors, teachers and those who love me, I was once again comfortable sharing myself, allowing others to know who I am.   Thus, you all now get the person once described as “reserved, but warm”.
         
Jesus on numerous occasions reminds us to trust the Father.  “Do not be afraid”, is a frequent admonition in the New Testament.  The words ‘Fear not’, with the love and reassurance they imply, reportedly appear 365 times in the Bible.  If only I had heard and incorporated that advice when I was 12, perhaps the intervening years of growth would have been different.  I’ll never know.  When I interact with those younger than myself, I will try to give them space to be who they are, loved by God, created as He wants them to be.  Fear not!
Ray Frink

Reflections for August 8 - 14, 2022

August 8, 2022 - Asking God to Be Present Is Bad Theology

Did that get your attention?? I recently heard Lucy Abbot Tucker, a renown spiritual director, say this.  And I realized, she is right.  Asking God to help us be present to God’s presence would be more accurate, perhaps more appropriate.  God doesn’t need us to call Him to come down from afar.  God is right here, always. And yet… our liturgy and our prayers have some beautiful expressions of our calling.  We sing, send down your Spirit at Pentecost… one of my favorite liturgies.  We pray, “Lord, hear our prayer” at every Mass. Does God need us to remind Him to hear us?  No, but perhaps we need to be able to say these words to remind us that God does hear us. 
There is a children’s book that I have always loved called, Mama, Do You Love Me?  Throughout the book, the child asks, Mama, do you love me? And the mother replies, I will always love you. The child continues, even if I… (and she lists lots of naughty things) would you love me?  The mother continues to affirm her love and in the last line, the mother says, “I will love you forever and for always, because you are my Dear One.”  In our intimate relationship with our Beloved, we call out, Lord come to us!  And God says, I am already here.  We cry out Mama, Papa, do you love me? And God replies, I love you forever and for always, because you are my Dear One.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

August 9, 2022 - What Does It Mean to Be a Synodal Church?
Several months ago, together with many of you, I participated in a process of coming together to discern, how is the Spirit calling us as Church? This was an invitation from Pope Francis and something that is being embraced all around the world.  Many of us mistakenly paraphrased this invitation by saying, the Pope and the Bishop want to know what we think… they want our opinions. I think we miss the depth of meaning with this understanding.  Pope Francis is reminding us of what we already are, what was confirmed in Vatican II.  We are a synodal Church, the body of Christ that journeys together and discerns the Spirit’s movement in us collectively. The Spirit is active in you and me and invites us to listen in the depths of our hearts for where God is leading us.  The Church is not frozen in time, but alive with the Spirit.  As I participated in the listening sessions, I heard people’s hopes and dreams; and I felt their pain and frustration.  It is hard being Church!  Being synodal means we journey together, with each other and with God.  We listen for the Spirit moving in and among us. And we are surprised sometimes that God’s ways are not our ways. God always invites us to more.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

August 10, 2022 - On Holding Space
As a spiritual companion, I have been challenged to learn the difference between offering advice or even sympathy and holding space.  Holding space means being present—fully present to another, without directing or advising or catechizing.  These other forms of companioning have their place in a different context, but not here.  There is a unique space that is created when I can be present to someone without judgment or expectation.  It is a form of deep listening with the whole body.  I experience God providing that kind of presence to me sometimes in prayer.  Advice doesn’t come, expectations are not spoken.  God is just present, waiting patiently while the seeds he planted in me germinate.  Waiting like a lover who honors my independence.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

August 11, 2022 - Wounded Healer
I have recently been intrigued with the term “wounded healer.” It is a concept that serendipitously keeps showing up in books I’m reading, prayers I find, etc. I have always found comfort and a little awe in the Gospel readings where the resurrected Jesus appears with his wounds. The wounds did not disappear, they are not even scars, they are wounds that one can put a hand in. I think that is significant and something I need to pay attention to. For me it confirms what I experience in life. Challenges, suffering and loss are often not avoided or removed by prayer. Instead, I am helped to move through these times. I am accompanied and strengthened.  And as a result, I grow and become more genuine and compassionate in the process, and I carry my wounds.  I learn to trust God in a life that is unpredictable and out of my control.  Wounded healers are people who can be with each other in mutual awareness of our hurting humanness. We do not rescue each other, but compassionately call on each other’s inner strength and faith in God’s accompaniment.  We support each other not in a pity party, but as soul friends who have experienced life’s trials, grown in wisdom, patience and trust in God as a result of the roads we have walked.  That’s the kind of companion I want when I’m facing challenges.  A wounded healer. 
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio


August 12, 2022 - Claiming Our Shadow
Listening to the news, I caught myself saying, “What a self-righteous jerk!” I have a whole list of people I find distasteful. Then slowly, something dawns on me. I remember a couple of scripture passages…something about a wooden beam and a splinter, something about casting stones…  Our human tendency is to see the things we don’t like about ourselves in other people. In psychology it is called projecting our shadow.  I’m quite good at this. I can be very judgmental about judgmental people, narrowly critical of people I perceive as narrow thinkers. What is fascinating is how hard it is to catch myself!

There’s a lot of shadow projection going on these days. It is reflected in our deep divide as a culture and our conflicts with friends and neighbors.  Jesus said to take the beam out of your own eye so you can see to help your neighbor with his splinter. How do I do that? I’m learning the challenging process of noticing when someone really pushes my buttons.  When there’s a lot of emotion raised in me, particularly by people I don’t even know well, I ask myself what inner part of me is like that? What areas of myself do I need to recognize and work on?
Our healing and wholeness come in recognizing our full selves, including the aspects of ourselves we don’t like very much—our shadows. In recognizing and claiming my shadow, I humbly understand my weaknesses and invite God’s healing transformation.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio


August 13, 2022 - On Being “Good”
Thomas Merton said, the hardest group to convert are those who identify as good. As Christians, I think our challenge is to do good works, but not to get to thinking we are good (or better). As I think about the temptation of “being good,” a few things come to mind. First is “good enough.” Do I, do we, get comfortable with certain patterns of prayer, worship, and charity so that my experience as a disciple feels good enough, a box to check along with the rest of my to do list? Second, good can also means self-righteous. It is always a comparison to others who are “more or less good.” “Good people” can easily become code for “people like me, people who share my values…” That’s a slippery slope. I can easily end up associating “good” with my tribe, my cultural expression of spirituality, my country, my political party… It becomes quite insular. Finally, good can imply a God who keeps score. Suddenly we are earning something, even if on an unconscious level. “I’ve been good and faithful, how could God let this happened to me?”
 
In the Gospels Jesus seems to always be connecting with people who are on the margins of goodness.  I used to think it was to bring them into the fold of the “good people.” Now I don’t think so. Perhaps it was to show us that we are ALL on the margins and all in need of his loving work in us—always.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio
 

August 14, 2022 - God’s Presence in Hard Times
As I write this, I am on retreat at the Mercy Center with Brother Don Bisson. We are talking about living in God‘s presence during times of deepening shadow. Deepening shadow certainly represents how I have experienced many things in our world of late.  Life seems full of so many divisions, full of selfishness, violence, and despair. How do I participate as the body of Christ in the midst of these challenging times? Here’s some of what I’m learning: I need to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anxiety. Healthy anxiety, or healthy suffering, shares in the experience of the world’s suffering.  It does not seek an escape.  It is the capacity to show up in our reality even though it is hard. It invites me to speak the truth even when it’s not popular and to let my discomfort with the brokenness in the world prompt me to ask, where is this pulling me? How is God asking me to respond? What is mine to do?  Unhealthy anxiety becomes helplessness and hopelessness, and it can collude with evil. I am learning a healthy response requires spending time in prayer and silence, spending time in sacred space, and spending time with people in community. It means following Jesus and His values rather than the values of the world and making sure that my actions in life are grounded in Gospel values.  And of course, it means knowing that I do not do any of this without God’s grace.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio



Reflections for August 1 - 7, 2022

August 1, 2022 - Emmanuel

If you read the title of this and assumed I was talking about Emmanuel, “God with us”, you were mistaken. Emmanuel is an emu that has taken over the internet, photobombing his owner’s TikTok videos. Emmanuel’s videos were shared across all the internet platforms and I laughed every time I saw one. The videos are sweet, wholesome and funny, and are a reminder that the internet can be full of joy! What was most interesting to me though was the variety of people I saw posting Emmanuel’s videos; they were people young and old, both extremes of the political spectrum, and of varying faith backgrounds. After years of divisive posts and extreme polarities, it seems that a photobombing emu brought people together, if only for a few short weeks on the internet. So maybe I was wrong. Maybe this is about God with us after all.
Erin Gallawa




August 2, 2022 – Snorkel

Last month we took a family vacation to Hawaii. One of the days we went on a snorkeling trip. Initially one of my daughters didn’t want to snorkel, so she just jumped in with a noodle to splash around. After only a few minutes in the water she predictably regretted this decision and decided to snorkel. The first profound moment for me happened when Ana handed back her pool noodle and the employee asked me if she was ok to swim without a floatation device. I immediately answered that she was a strong swimmer and I surprised myself when I realized how it true it was. I don’t know when she became capable, but this was the moment I knew it. I spent the next 45 minutes chasing her around the bay. It was the best part of my vacation—watching my daughter use her confident, capable body to navigate in the ocean and explore underwater. She even dove below the surface with me to see things up closer! I stopped looking at fish and was only watching my daughter as she experienced a new world around her. My greatest joy wasn’t what was under the water—it was watching her see it. How wonderful it must be for God to recognize what we are capable of and watch as we delight in the world around us!
Erin Gallawa



August 3, 2022 – Home

I feel like I have written dozens of reflections about water, but I have such a strong connection that I am always thinking of the way water is present in my life. My longing for the water feels primal; I feel called to the water and I have a strong urge to immerse myself in it. I cannot be near water without at least washing my hands and I will walk right into the river with my shoes and socks on. When we went to Hawaii last month we took a hike to the ocean. After a few miles on the exposed lava fields of the Big Island, my daughter Grace ran straight for the water. She sat on the edge of the water as the waves rolled over her, again and again. I looked at her and knew that she, too, felt at home in the water. It’s not about liking to swim. It is about feeling connected and at peace. I love to look at water, but more I love to be IN the water, as does she. God lovingly created the waters of the earth and I am blessed to be at home among them.
Erin Gallawa



August 4, 2022 – Knowing

One of the strangest parts of parenting in the last few years has been realizing that my kids know things that I did not teach them. There were so many early years of their life when their whole world experience was what they saw and learned from me, my husband and the small handful of people who cared for them. One day they came home from a day with my mom saying, “Whatcha talking ‘bout Willis?” It was a surprising question from a toddler, but an entertaining one! That was just the beginning of my children learning outside our home!

At age 11, my kids have been in school for years now, are avid readers, and have discovered YouTube, so I should not be surprised when they know about the Greek gods or can tell me strange facts about ocean creatures. Yet, I am constantly surprised by what they know and can do. “Wonder and awe” is one of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit for helping us to recognize the glory of God. But I can’t help but ponder myself if God looks down upon us, His own creation, with wonder and awe at what we, His creation, can do and know.
Erin Gallawa



August 5, 2022 – Feet of Jesus

In a recent Gospel reading we heard about Mary and Martha. While Martha was busy serving, Mary sat at the feet of Jesus. I was struck by the image of Mary at the feet and began to wonder who else would have sat at Jesus’ feet. Surely it would have been women and children, or other humble people who would take any place, no matter how lowly, to be near to him. I don’t think of sitting at someone’s feet as a place of honor. Sitting at someone’s feet feels like an act of humility and openness. It reminds me of something children do, gathered close so they can see and hear unobstructed. When I think of Mary in this place, I think of a woman whose heart is so open to God that she would accept even the humblest position to be present to the word. Does my pride prevent me from coming to sit at the feet of Jesus? Am I open to hearing the word even in places I am not used to listening to him?
Erin Gallawa



August 6, 2022 – Smell

I walked past a Free Little Library one evening while I was walking my dog. It was already dark so I was surprised to see that it was lit up by happy little twinkly lights. Through the glass I couldn’t see any books I was interested in, but I opened the door anyway and I was overcome by the smell; the smell of books, the smell of my childhood, the smell of old, loved paper. When I think of books, my initial thought is that they are visual. We read them with our eyes and then create images in our head. I don’t usually associate the sense of smell with reading, but the smell of those books made me think of staying up late into the night, reading books in near darkness when I should have been sleeping. Smell evokes such strong memories. I think of some of the smells of the Church—incense, the Chrism oil my children were anointed with in Baptism, the way the church building itself smells. All of these smells connect me to people, places and liturgical celebrations. Each of our senses is a gift. Today I am grateful for the gift of smell.
Erin Gallawa



August 7, 2022 – Hospitality at the Door

When anyone leaves my parents’ house, my dad and mom (and sometimes the dog, too!) walk out to the front porch to say goodbye. It is not just a quick goodbye. It is a lingering until the car is backed out and we have driven down the long driveway. Often they will sit on the front steps and remain there. A few weeks ago Deacon David talked about hospitality in his homily, and this image of my parents saying goodbye is what immediately came to my mind. My parents’ hospitality is not just for the moments we were invited there to share—this slow, lingering goodbye is like taking home a piece of their hospitality with us. There is a spirit in the way they open their home and so graciously serve others; their goodbye is an extension of that gift.

I think about how Father stands outside after Mass to greet parishioners and say goodbye before we leave, and it reminds me of this same type of goodbye. It is full of gratitude for the time we have spent together and a peaceful farewell until we are together again. May the spirit of service and hospitality fill us all until we gather again!
Erin Gallawa

Reflections for July 25 - 31, 2022

July 25, 2022 - Proximity
The book entitled “The Proximity Principle” talks about how to position yourself near the right people and places to get the career you love. Surrounding yourself with the 5 different types of people in your desired field can help you become successful. They are the Professor (those who teach), The Professional (those who made it), the Mentor (those who help guide you), Your Peers (those who challenge you through competition) and The Producers (These are the risk takers that build opportunities). I have all these types of people in my career, and they help me move forward. You may be wondering what this has to do with a reflection, well it does not matter what aspect of your life you are looking at, the Proximity Principle works with all of it. With the different ministries like Wake Up, L.O.V.E, RCIA, Music Ministry, Bible Study and more, I have these 5 types in each ministry, and they all help me grow in my spiritual life. Listening to and reading different scholars helps me understand my faith, but it is from my peers that I gain the most. We push and support each other to be better Catholic Christians and I learn so much from their example. Lord, Thank you for these men and women in my life.
Kurt Peterson

July 26, 2022 - Calling
In the RCIA catechumens and candidates receive a sponsor who helps them through the process. And for many, the sponsor becomes a part of their lives forever. A couple of years ago, one candidate was assigned a sponsor and a true friendship began. They quite often stayed in touch and recently when the man and his wife started having serious health problems, his sponsor and wife were there to help them in so many ways. I know when this person said yes to being a sponsor, he never dreamed to what extent answering that call would lead him, which is what makes this even more special. This sponsor and his wife are true Christians in my eyes, and they hold the true meaning of community in their hearts. I have seen this type of connection in the RCIA program many times over the years. I really believe it is the Holy Spirit that choses the sponsor for these men and women; we are just His instrument in facilitating it. If you have ever thought about being a sponsor just let us know. And if you have been chosen to be a sponsor, remember it is not us that are choosing but the Holy Spirit that is choosing you.
Kurt Peterson

July 27, 2022 - Father’s Day
Last month we celebrated Father’s Day and I had most of my children with me. Even though my son was not able to come out from NYC I still had a wonderful day. We all gathered at a local brewery and talked and laughed but the highlight of the day was when my wife took a picture of me with our seven grandchildren. My grandchildren’s ages range from the oldest of almost 12 years to the two babies. I had them all gathered around me and held the babies on each arm. It kind of looks like one of those photos you would have seen from 100 years ago. Every time I look at that picture, I just feel so blessed to have all of them and their parents in my life and so close to us. That picture also reminds me that I will do nothing in my life that is more important or that will compare to creating a family. Psalms 17:6 says, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.”  Thank you, God, for you have truly blessed me, for my children are my heritage.
Kurt Peterson

July 28, 2022 - Life Happens
As many of you know a couple of weeks ago Darcy Wharton was in a terrible accident and was in the hospital for a few days. When I saw the picture of the car I saw how differently things could have been if the other car had hit her exactly where she was sitting. It was startling. We all get busy with our lives and don’t always express what the people in our lives mean to us. We always expect to see each other, but that is not always the case. We do not know the time or day when any of us will join Christ. In an instant I could have lost a very dear friend forever. As I get older, friends from my past are no longer here, and I didn’t let them know what they meant to me. Fortunately, Sarah and I will be able to have more time with Darcy, but I will not forget to let the people I love know that I love them. If you are like me, don’t miss the opportunity to let the people in your lives  know how much you care.
Kurt Peterson

July 30, 2022 - Izzy
In the early days of Covid when we were all quarantining, we got a small cockapoo, part Cocker Spaniel and part Poodle, and we have never been happier. She is such a loving dog, especially with our grandchildren. She brings joy to our lives every day and Izzy is a great example of unconditional love.  She greets my mother-in law, who lives with us, every morning and stays around her while Sarah and I are gone during the day. No matter what the day has been like, she is always happy to see us. I watch her in the back yard where she will lay down in the sun. I can imagine her taking in everything around her and just being content with what she has. Am I content with what I have? Our society tends to be in constant pursuit of things and we are rarely content with what we have. There are also so many things for us to be concerned about right now, but Jesus tells me do not worry or be afraid.  In Mathew 6:26-29 Jesus says to look at nature and see how God cares for it, “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap, nor gather in barns, yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth more than them?” Jesus also tells me: “Do not worry about the next day, because tomorrow will be worried for itself. Enough for the day is its own problem” (Mt 6:34). I can learn from nature and our pets about how to live. Jesus is not saying that I should not sow or reap or be prepared for things, but he is saying that it must not consume me.  I must trust God!
Kurt Peterson



July 30, 2022 - Unresolved
Sometimes at Mass we will end a song differently then we normally do. The song will end unresolved. This means that the ending note did not resolve the melody. I like it when music does that because it feels like the song did not finish. It is as if the song continues, much like life itself. We transition from stage to stage. Infancy, childhood, young adulthood, adulthood and elderhood and in each stage our song continues unresolved into the next stage, adding to our song. Tempos may change, new variations occur, however, it is still the same song, the song of our life. We will add to it and subtract from it until the time comes when we pass from this life to where our song will finally resolve itself when we meet God. There our song becomes part of the great heavenly composition created by the Great Composer. When that time comes, I pray that my song will be pleasing to God.   
Kurt Peterson

7/31/22   The James Web Telescope
Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth”. We are given an opportunity that no other person in human history had before. With the images that are being sent back from the James Web telescope, that is traveling through space, we are seeing the earliest images from the beginning of the universe. We may well be seeing in pictures the words of Genesis 1:1. The images that have come through so far are just amazing. Normally when we look up into the sky, we see darkness and small lights. Even though that alone shows us God’s awesomeness, these photos will show us a wonderous array of colors and shapes. No wonder he is called the Grand Painter. This is a great opportunity for me to develop a deeper understanding of God’s creation. Science has always been a part of faith for He gave us not only the ability but the yearning to understand our world and beyond. Science and faith go hand and hand. The father of the big bang theory was a Belgian Catholic priest and many of the great men that advanced discoveries in botany, physics, mathematics, biology, and astronomy were Catholics priest and friars. We believe that learning about God’s creation helps us to understand God. So, I hope you take the time to look at these pictures coming to us to see what  1Chronicles 29:11 says, “Yours, LORD, are greatness and might, majesty, victory, and splendor. For all in heaven and on earth is yours; yours, LORD, is kingship; you are exalted as head over all.”  
Kurt Peterson

July 18, 2022 - Signs from God (Ref MT 12:38-42)  The scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus “Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.” He replied, “an evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign, ….” For a faithful generation, signs from God are already there.  They are countless; some will be simple and natural, but some will be special and great. But seeking signs from God in order to believe in Him is a sin of arrogance and it comes from an unfaithful person. One should open the senses to perceive what is already existing. There are plenty of ways God has blessed me for which I am so grateful.

There was an incident of saving my life in the form of a phone call. For some it may seem a coincidence, but for me it was God’s action and one of His special signs. A few years ago, on vacation while visiting my sister, I stopped my car at a manned rail crossing to take a phone call. Suddenly, an electric shock passed through my veins as I saw a train passing through the open rail gate. If I had not stopped the car to take THAT phone call, I would have been dead. Yes, it was a lifesaving moment. 

God, I truly believe that every moment of my life is a gift to me.  Help me to open my senses to aware of Your graces and blessings around me. 
Bony

July 19, 2022 - God’s Family (Ref. MT 12:46-50)
And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Heavenly Father is my brother, and sister, and mother.”
Jesus revealed to the world a truth which was unknown till then:  we are God’s family when doing His will. The disciples left everything at his call and were with him in formation to do his mission. 

Everything I do in this world should be pleasing God. This was the basic catechism taught in our family.  We are his disciples called to do God’s will in our various vocations and given responsibilities. We have a biological family that can be God’s family when every action is pleasing to Him. 

Four years ago, as I neared my 25^th anniversary of priestly ordination, I asked my mother for her opinion about having a family celebration. Her first response was, “it is important to celebrate it with your parish family where you are called to serve.” And she was right that SSPP is my family of God. I am so thankful to SSPP for celebrating my 25th anniversary of ordination with me. We are God’s family. I was reminded that we are God’s family, we are not alone in difficult situations and we keep the spirit of being God’s family in all our endeavors.
Bony

July 20, 2022 - Rich Soil for Abundant Fruit (Ref. MT 13:1-9)
“But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirty-fold.”
While God sows the seed (His word) generously it is our responsibility to keep the soil (ourselves) rich. God the farmer, who owns us and entrusts us with personal responsibility, gives us wide opportunities to keep the soil rich and productive.

Many guided me in this process of cultivating good soil in my life.  In my childhood days it was my grandfather, parents and schoolteachers, and in later years it was seminary formation, spiritual directors etc., - I am so thankful to many for keeping me on track.
Spiritual discipline with determination and motivation can help oneself be the fertile soil for good produce. Lifelong care is needed for the soil to keep it fertile and to have abundant yields. The times I fail due to negligence and weakness, I have opportunities to amend my ways through the sacrament of reconciliation, spiritual direction and retreats.
Every farmer knows how to give the constant care that is needed to keep the soil fertile. With the help of God’s grace, I want to keep my heart ready and prepared to receive his words so that they produce good fruits. 
Bony


July 21, 2022 – The Insight (Ref. MT 13:10-17) 
“They look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand.” When the disciples asked Jesus why he spoke to the crowd in parables, Jesus quoted this from prophet Issaih. At the end of the conversation Jesus said to the disciples, “but blessed are your eyes, because they see and your ears, because they hear.”
The disciples understood Jesus for they were with him.After I had joined the seminary, in my sophomore year I met Mathai, a classmate from school, who said to me sarcastically that Jesus did not have a seminary. His family had already left the Catholic Church and embraced another denomination. I admired that he could quote the bible often to establish his stand against the church. I was unable to debate with him but I told him that Jesus had disciples walking with him. He had a grin on his face, unconvinced.

Later, during my 11 years of seminary formation I realized the courses and studies on philosophy and theology, spirituality and disciplinary life were all important but the most important was walking with Jesus and having Jesus in every moment of life. And completing the seminary life and priestly ordination is not the end, as I continue my journey with Jesus. Being with him I am able to see, hear and understand.
Bony

July 22, 2022 - Mary Magdalene (Ref. Jen 20:1-2, 11-18) 
Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and found the tombstone removed.The Risen Christ appeared to her. She went and announced to the disciples “I have seen the Lord.”
Mary Magdalene’s visit to Jesus’ tomb reflects her emotional attachment to Jesus. I have witnessed the same emotional attachment to Jesus especially in my grandfather and my mother. Their relationships with Jesus have inspired me very much (a lot). I have seen my mother praying all the time for us; and spending a lot of time in prayer even today. Nonverbally, she is telling her children that she has seen the Lord. Whenever I lift the Holy bread in consecration announcing the Body of Christ, despite my unworthiness, I am blessed to have him in my hands. He lives in me as I receive him in communion; he is attached to me physically and emotionally. He lives in me and in you because we have seen the Lord.
Bony


July 23, 2022 - Good and Evil (Ref. Matthew 13:24-30) 
The Kingdom of Heaven may be likened to a man who sowed good seed but an enemy sowed weeds in darkness. The good Sower allows the weeds to grow along with the wheat to protect it “let them grow together until harvest.”
Jesus reminds us that the reality of the world is the presence of good and evil; something we experience and worry about much of the time. We learn from the parable that wheat remains as wheat even when it grows with weeds.  By growing with weeds, it has more resistance and God gives it strength not to be damaged. Sometimes we are also pressed hard to survive but we do not lose our connection to God. My conviction in the values I was raised with never gets corrupted, even when there is an inclination to bend it; then I pray hard for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. 

It is a given truth that the good and evil exist side by side, and it is our choice to choose life or death (Ref. Deut. 30:15).
Bony


July 24, 2022 - Persistent in prayer (Ref. Lk 11:1-13) 
On a request by the disciples Jesus taught them the Lord’s Prayer. Then he revealed to them who the Heavenly Father is: a compassionate friend and a loving father who knows what his children need in life. 
Our human life is mostly focused on our wants instead of what we need in life. When I was a young child, the exam times in school were very stressful and my prayer was always to have a great score - wanting to have the questions being asked come from what I had studied. One time I asked my grandfather for some pennies to offer at the Church to do well in exams. Instead, my grandfather, who was a teacher by profession, told me to prepare well and pray for the grace to perform well as guided by the Holy Spirit. Our family had a candle lit the whole day on the family altar when something very important was going on in the family, like major exams, interviews and even celebrations. The lit candle reminded all in the family to pray for the intention and that we were all praying for a special cause.

I must pray persistently! God will provide me with what I need for he is a loving father and a compassionate friend. 
Bony

Reflections for July 11-17, 2022

July 11, 2022 - Summer
The season has changed from mild to hot, not just warm, but hot.  As my Mom used to say “…hotter than the gates of Hades.”  I, as a person raised in Southern California, am obliged to say that I like it this way.  Back then I was only an hour away from the blue Pacific and I would go there as often as possible to swim, lay out, get a sunburn and wait for a great tan long before sunscreen or warnings about skin cancer.  That was also when I was ignorant about God and didn’t worry about those gates Mom referred to.  Here I am now, decades later, wondering about the dark splotches on my skin and also wondering about the dark spots that might be on my soul.  Fortunately, I have come to know the efficacy of sunscreen and my dermatologist says the skin spots are not worrisome.  I have also gotten consolation from others who have told me that I have been absolved of those dark spots on my soul.  So here I am, free to enjoy the sun and heat because (aside from the wisdom of age) the Son has shone brightly and given me new life in Him.  I can welcome the heat.          
Deacon David

July 12, 2022 - Have it Your Way
I’m pretty sure that most of you have heard that line from a hamburger commercial.  When I order at that establishment, I do tell the counter worker just how I want my burger to be constructed.  I like cheese and onions but I try to impress the idea that the sauce/mayo that they usually use in copious amounts is not the way I prefer it.  I say something like “…just a little sauce/mayo”.  Somehow that part doesn’t get communicated to the person assembling the burger so that the sauce “runneth over”.  To be fair there was once an older lady counter worker who got what I said and made me happy but she has gone.  So let me extrapolate to what I think God might be asking when placing his order at mass where I presume to receive His body and blood. I think He wants me to be aware of how I serve Him.  Onions and a bit of cheese are O.K. but the sauce/sin should not be running over.  Any sin can be cleaned up before eating by reconciliation and penance.  Sure, I can go to a different burger joint but I like the taste of the one I reference.  I cannot, will not go elsewhere to consume God because He does it my way.                                      
Deacon David

July 13, 2022 - Reminders
My Insurance Company (You’re in Good Hands) sends an annual request for the current mileage on our vehicles to judge how much to charge for the coming year.  I’m surprised by the yearly totals and wonder where in the world did we go to rack up all those miles.  This yearly exercise reminds me of the mileage on my aging body and I wonder, as with the car mileage, where I’ve been and what I’ve done.  Truthfully, those bodily miles seem to take a bit more of my energy year to year.  That, of course, leads me to think about the spiritual miles I’ve gone during the past year and that gives me a chance to reflect and/or meditate on that journey.  When I think about spiritual journeys of past years, I’m led to think about people I’ve met and talked with, especially those who have gone through the RCIA and joined the Catholic Church.  Their journeys, like mine, have been those of growth and involvement and that reminds me that I have miles and miles to go.   
Deacon David

July 14, 2022 - What’s in Your Wallet?
A couple of weeks ago there was a special collection for what is known as Peter’s Pence.  The funds collected are remitted to the Pope for his distribution to various needs in the world.  And those needs are not specifically related to Catholics.  The Pope(s) recognize all people, regardless of religious affiliation, who are in need.  That the Pope would recognize all people as sisters and brothers emanating from God the Father is a great lesson and example to me.  Our parish also lives that example in maintaining a fund for people who approach the church for help with monetary needs, food needs and spiritual needs.  No one is turned away or asked their religious affiliation.   I wondered, when the basket came around, just how much to put in.  A couple of bucks?  Then I remembered the parable of the widow’s mite and how she put all she had in the collection while those who had much money gave out of their excess and did not follow the widow’s example of sacrifice.  So I pondered for a moment, thought about the widow again and emptied my wallet.  I say this not to extol my gift but to try to put myself in the shoes of those in need.  The next time that I see the commercial that asks “what’s in your wallet” I will remember that what is in my wallet is there because God has given me an abundance and that I, along with the Pope, have a responsibility to those who have so much less.   What’s in your wallet?
Deacon David

July 15, 2022 - Recharging
Truth be told, I am dependent upon my iPhone, as much as I don’t want to admit it. I go through a daily ritual of plugging it into an electric outlet so as not to miss any messages and to be able to (confession time) play the word game I like a lot.  Of course, I tell myself that I NEED to be available to my wife, children and parishioners so I carry the iPhone around with me, even when driving, so I won’t miss a call.  No, I don’t answer it while driving but I do pull over to check out who is calling.  At the end of the day, I liken myself to the iPhone in that I need recharging. So what do I do?  I reflect upon the day, wondering if I have fulfilled the task that God has put before me that day.  Have I omitted something I should’ve or could’ve done to help another? This question then reminds me that I have to, indeed must, plug into God and recharge.  As much as my iPhone needs electricity, I need prayer to plug into my source of strength and purpose: God.
Deacon David

July 16, 2022 - Affirmation
Way back when I worked in a California State prison as a counselor, I attended many training sessions; amongst them was one which encouraged us to reflect upon the positive aspects of our lives in relation to our jobs as well as daily life.  We were told to write reminders of those affirmative aspects on post-its and put those notes up in places where we’d see them often to help us stay positive.  I poo-pooed that advice as some new age fad but now, as I’ve done a tiny bit of maturing, I think that there is value in reminding myself, and others, that God has given gifts and talents to be shared and used not only for myself but to benefit others.  I don’t use post-it notes to affirm those God given attributes but I engage in a bit more prayer of thanks for the opportunities which I am able to respond to each day.  I like to affirm my faith foremost when I join my voice to those of others in the congregation at mass saying, “I believe in One God….” It is my hope that you too will find affirmation in the faith we share, with or without post-it notes.                                     
Deacon David

July 17 - Reflections
I am amongst numerous others in the parish who write about our thoughts relative to the faith we share as Catholics.  I won’t lie to you, it is increasingly difficult for me to come up with new thoughts and topics as I’ve been doing this for about four years.  I marvel at those wonderful book writing people such as Richard Rohr who have done reflections for not just years but decades.  Just as I was writing this, I got up to get a glass of water and passed by a mirror.  I stopped and looked at my reflection in that mirror and wondered “…what is God asking?” God has, through others, given me the opportunity to share my faith on a very basic level via these reflections, not as deep as Fr. Rohr’s, but simply mine.  So I’ll continue to struggle and plumb the depths of my experiences, the ones God has given me to reflect upon and offer for your reflection.  Perhaps I could recommend to you that the next time you take a look in the mirror that you reflect on what God is asking of you.
 Deacon David

Reflections for July 4-10, 2022
July 4, 2022 – One Nation Under God
Last month we spent some time in Concord, MA and had the opportunity to visit the Minutemen museum and North Bridge.  This is the location of the “shot heard around the world” and the first battle of the American Revolution.  During the presentation we were informed that the families of the soldiers on both sides may very well have known each other just a generation prior to the battle.  I had never considered that possibility.  In the colonists’ noble desire to break free and create a free country, a great number of lives were lost.
Today we celebrate our country.  Despite a bloody beginning and serious struggles along the way, we have maintained a belief in a country that embraces “liberty and justice for all”.  Let us celebrate those times when we have worked toward this goal and may we strive to live peacefully as “one nation under God”.        Darcy Wharton

July 5, 2022 – Let Us Mourn and Let us Dance
I recently came across a quote from Henry Nouwen which stated, “Let us mourn and let us dance”.  He was referring to the need to feel all the emotions of life.  It dawned on me that I spend most of my life somewhere in the middle of those extremes and often intentionally avoid spending any prolonged time mourning or dancing.  What might it be like to live the “extremes” of life?  There are certainly appropriate times to do both. 
I can recall many times when I chose not to dance publicly so as not to embarrass my kids or myself.  There were other times when I avoided mourning publicly to make others more comfortable.  What moments of shared humanity may have been lost due to my decisions? 
Perhaps God is stretching us to live at the edges more often!                                                                           Darcy Wharton

July 6, 2022 – Generosity
My husband and I were both sick with Covid last month after traveling and I was overwhelmed with the number of people who checked on us daily and offered to do grocery shopping, drop off a meal, pick up medication, etc. 
I know I’m not alone with my struggle to accept help.  Many of you have shared your own struggles with this.  However, I was sent a quote from author Wendy Farley which states “the good God often lets his friends fall sick so that every prop they lean on or might cling to may give way.”  Well certainly one “prop” I was holding on to was the idea that I did not need help!
Receiving from generous souls reminded me that God will use anything – health, sickness, our life’s daily events and more- to shower us with love.  What a generous God we have!                                                  Darcy Wharton

July 7, 2022- Revel in the Joy
If you’re a parent, you are aware that it is both a great responsibility and a great joy.  Most days are a mix of both, especially in the early years of parenting.  Now that our daughters are all young adults, we are in a unique position to just “watch” them from a distance.  They have all moved out and are creating their own adult lives.  My job as a parent has shifted and I am trying to catch myself when I feel the need to give unsolicited advice or to “fix” things that I feel need correction.  Fairly recently, I intentionally switched my focus to trying to revel in the joys of their lives instead of looking for ways to influence their decisions.  That is not easy!  However, focusing on what is good and right in their lives makes discovering the joy all that much easier.  We see what we are hoping to find!
It seems that Jesus did not focus as much on the mistakes of his followers but instead challenged them to grow closer to him through relationship. 
I will continue to try to revel in the joys of each of my daughters.  And as one of my daughters told me, my voice is already in their heads anyway!                                                                                                                  Darcy Wharton

July 8, 2022 – Just Follow
On a recent trip to Boston to visit our daughter Sarah, we discovered that she had created a very busy itinerary for us.  We had previously been to the area three other times, but there were things she wanted us to experience.  She crammed more things to do in each day than we ever would have attempted!  I finally stopped trying to figure out if I could keep up and just decided to follow her lead.  When I was feeling tired from all the walking (over 22,000 steps on one day in particular), she would simply say, “You can do it, Mom!”  Although I questioned if she had a realistic understanding of my physical abilities, I decided to trust her, and we had a wonderful time. 
Trusting.  Following.  These things are supposed to be basic Christian attitudes and yet they can be so difficult.   This experience helped me remember that yes, trust is difficult, but the payoff is worth it when I am following a person I trust. 
Jesus, I trust in you.                                                                                                                                                              Darcy Wharton

July 9, 2022 – The Gift of Godparents
Last month, I received the surprising news that my godmother had died. My godfather had died a few years prior.  When I say I hit the jackpot of godparents, I am quite serious.  They filled their home with love and laughter and I have fond memories as a child of being welcomed warmly at every visit.  They never missed one of my sacraments and my godmother was even a lector at our wedding.  Over the years, she left the Catholic faith to join an evangelical Church but she eventually returned.   She even watched our online Masses during the pandemic although she lived in Manteca. 
The lesson in all of this is to never underestimate the importance of godparents in a child’s life.  Done well, it can have a tremendous impact.  Her parting message to me (four days before she died) was to thank me for my constant love.  I returned the greeting and will never forget how she modeled the unconditional love of God.  May she, and all the others in heaven who were wonderful godparents, rest in peace.                Darcy Wharton

July 10, 2022 – The Good Sam Club
When I was a child, our family would occasionally take a summer road trip to go camping.  We graduated from tent camping to a small trailer.  Since these were the days before smart devices and DVD players in vehicles, my brother and I would play all sorts of travelling road games.  We also spent countless hours just staring out the window, something I don’t think any of our children experienced.
I recall seeing Good Sam stickers on various RVs on the road.  My parents told me that the sticker indicated that the people belonged to a travel assistance club.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized that the company’s name was a play on words and referenced the story of the Good Samaritan.  How clever!  Our family never joined the organization but as Catholics we were already members of the “Good Sam” club.  This famous gospel message reminds us of the importance of doing the right thing (showing mercy) regardless of any societal or cultural norms that may encourage us to do otherwise.  How many times have I ignored people in need or justified my lack of a merciful response?
These “simple” stories pack a powerful punch!                                                                                                              Darcy Wharton

Reflections for June 27-July 3, 2022
June 27, 2022 – The Power of Hugs

I was recently reading about the effects of stress on our bodies and how we can continue to physically hold stress even after the stressor has come and gone.  In my reading I learned that one way to physically release stress, besides exercise and deep breathing…is a 20 second hug.  The trick to this sort of hug though, is that both people need to be at their center of gravity, and the hug “squeeze” should be reciprocal. 

When I told my daughters about the magic of a 20 second hug, we practiced it and I thought that might be the end of it.  However, one afternoon during the last week of school my daughter came up to me and said, “Mom, I think I need a 20 second hug!”  She had been struggling with some anxiety and was desperate to tap into the magic of the 20 second hug. 

For one, I was amazed at her ability to reach into a tool box to find what she needed for her own healing.  But I was also struck that what she needed, she could not provide for herself…after all, we can’t hug ourselves.   I suppose when we meet others at our center of gravity with reciprocity, it’s not only about a hug, but it’s about helping heal one another.
-Katie Maynard

June 28, 2022 – Slide Puzzle

I am a huge fan of the show Survivor and always love when the challenges include a puzzle.  The producers and creators within that show come up with the most creative puzzles, but I think my favorite has always been the slide puzzle.  You know, the ones where everything is jumbled and you can only slide them up/down and left/right in order to get the pieces in their places.  Often it requires making the puzzle even more jumbled before the message or picture becomes clear.

I think this is true for my life as well – I get something into place in my life, only to have another piece slide out of picture/place.  The thing that I’m not so sure of is whether I will ever really get to see the full picture and “finish” the puzzle in life.  I think it may be more about constantly getting glimpses of what it might look like, and that maybe God only sees the finished puzzle.

The suffering then, is in the desperation I experience to feel like I have everything put together.  The pieces are constantly shifting and changing, so peace can only come from detaching myself form my own expectations and let God’s vision be what it will be…and just keep sliding.
-Katie Maynard


June 29, 2022 – Deep Roots

We recently had some tall Italian Cypress trees removed from our backyard, and it was fascinating to watch the arborists work.  If you have seen these trees before (perhaps lining the roads of Tuscany) you know that their tall and narrow trunks do not appear to be the sturdiest.  On the day these trees were removed, my daughters and I watched these men climb, anchoring themselves, setting up a pulley system, and removing branches as they worked their way up the tree with their harnesses.  As one of the arborists neared the top of the tree, he looked down at me and exclaimed, “The trunk is so skinny!”  I thought to myself in that moment, that for such a skinny trunk to hold this man so high up in the air, the roots must have gone very deep!

When things feel shaky or uncertain in life, it’s my roots that keep me grounded: my family and faith.  My mom once said to me that one of the greatest gifts that she ever received from my grandparents was the gift of her faith.  And now, generations later we continue to pass on the faith, creating a root system that is deep and expansive for our nourishment. 

Today, on the Feast of Saints Peter & Paul, I am filled with gratitude for the expression of my faith in this community, and I am reminded that there is no need to worry about skinny trunks when you have deep roots!
-Katie Maynard

June 30, 2022 – A World of Color

Recently we introduced our daughters to the movie, “The Wizard of Oz” to prepare them to see the musical “Wicked.”  At some point, just as Dorothy awoke in Oz and stepped out into Munchkinland, and the film turned to vibrant color, my daughter leaned over and whispered, “Mom, the movie is scarier when it’s in black and white.” 

Figuratively speaking, it’s true that when we see things in black and white, it limits our view and closes our mind to new and challenging ideas.  Based on my observations of teaching high school students, as we grow and mature, conversations become more colorful (especially conversations about faith, spirituality and church).  As we are challenged by our education and by the complexity of our lives, it becomes more difficult to see things in a strict duality.  I know it seems counterintuitive, but it’s actually when we add color and complexity to things, that it makes things less scary and more beautiful…just ask my daughter.
-Katie Maynard

July 1, 2022 – Slowing to a Stop

I have often used the metaphor of a bullet train when speaking about the school year – it whisks us away in August and then we’re thrown off the train into the summer, with our head spinning.  I acknowledge that one day, perhaps in my retirement, I may not be so affected by the frenetic rhythm of a school year.  That being said, I don’t think we need to talk about a school year to understand what it’s like to zoom through life as though we are on a bullet train.  Life can keep us moving so fast and singularly focused that we miss what is outside of our windows. 

The truth is, it takes at least one mile for a train to come to a complete stop, so even if we wanted for everything to “just stop” it’s not possible.  So, I think the question is not, “How can I stop this train?” but rather, “How can I slow this train to a stop?”  It’s what I’ve spent most of the beginning of my summer trying to do: a little more sleep, a little more prayer, and a lot more presence.  As things slow and creative space opens up, I begin to get my bearings, and find myself ready for what’s ahead…and for what’s outside of the train windows.
-Katie Maynard


July 2, 2022 – Trust Jesus!

Last week, my daughters participated in Vacation Bible School, which is always a favorite part of our summer…and this year was long awaited after a two-year hiatus.  I helped volunteer in the Bible Adventure room, and spent weeks preparing the room and scripts for each day so that the bible stories would come alive for the kids.  During the week, the hope was for the kids to encounter Jesus in Scripture in a fun and engaging way, and for them to make connections to their own lives.  

As we tried to drive home each day’s bible point, the kids’ response was “Trust Jesus!” This response made me think about how easy it is for us to talk about trusting Jesus but much more difficult it is to feel what it is like to trust Him.  If you’ve ever done a trust fall before, you know that falling backward on purpose is scary!  I think that is what it feels like to trust Jesus: a little scary, and yet I know that peace will come with the surrender of leaving things in His hands.  In the end it’s comforting to know that we’re not alone, and as one wise kindergartner exclaimed at the beginning of the VBS week, “Jesus is all around us!”  Lord, I pray that I may have the courage to fall into your arms, and trust you!
-Katie Maynard

July 3, 2022 – Savor

Summer is here, and as a teacher I have come to love summers at home with my girls.  Sure there is more refereeing between siblings and navigating the kids’ “boredom,” but it is always an opportunity to get back to basics.  It becomes time for a simplified routine, a few new chores, and reading for pleasure.  Of course there is adventure, swimming, and travel, but I think I have come to really love the day-to-day simplicity of the summer routine.  Summer vibes mean an opportunity to savor what is happening around me: I love slow mornings, and saying YES to the ice cream man; I love having my girls “helping” me around the house; and I love trips to the library and family reading time.

This same simplicity is reflected in the wisdom of our liturgical year and the beauty of Ordinary Time.  There might be a slower, more ordinary pace to this time…but it is also an opportunity to pay attention: to notice Jesus’ work in his teaching and healing ministry in our cycle of readings; to listen to the psalms; or to pay closer attention to the liturgy.

As we continue to move through Ordinary Time, I pray the same prayer for myself at home with my kids this summer: that my eyes may be open, that I may pay attention and notice God’s work in simplicity.
-Katie Maynard

Reflections for June 20-26, 2022
June 20, 2022 – Little Things

Last Good Friday I noticed the size of the Host that Father Bony raised for us to venerate during the service.  The Host was small, the size of the ones we usually receive at communion. Because there was no consecration at the Good Friday service, both the Host that was elevated and the ones we received were kept over from Holy Thursday.  The small size of this elevated Host spoke to me.  How little it seemed in comparison to the larger hosts we are accustomed to seeing during a regular Mass.  How insignificant it appeared.  How could something so unimportant in appearance be so life giving? 

I thought about the gospel stories about the Eucharist, as well as the stories of Jesus’ life and realized how consistent the message is, both visually and when proclaimed:  God is in the little, seemingly insignificant things.  Jesus was born in a stable.  During his ministry he had no set address. He chose to be with the working poor, the marginalized and the outcast.  He accomplished our salvation, not with the grand armies the Zealots were hoping for, but by dying on a cross like a common criminal.  He used small, insignificant, ordinary things in his miracles:  touch, words, spittle, water, bread and wine.  As I meditated on this, that small, insignificant Host became for me a visual experience of Jesus and his entire insignificant human life; insignificant, that is until the Resurrection taught us that God himself is present in small and seemingly unimportant things.
Jane Haproff
 

June 21, 2022 - God Is Here

I recently attended the Woman’s Parish Retreat. The theme was Finding God in All Things, and one of the suggested ways of doing that was simply to say “God is Here” in any circumstance.

A few nights ago, I could not sleep.  As I tossed and turned I became aware of certain things around me:  David’s breathing,  a breeze through the window causing the pocket door in the hallway to rattle, an itch in the middle of my back that I couldn’t reach, coyotes howling.  I remembered to acknowledge consciously that “God is here” and a certain calmness came over me.  Then my hip hurt, so I turned over and my nose got stuffy, the blanket was too heavy and just the sheet not enough, again “God is here” and more peace.  I heard some small animal bump against the outside of the house, a car alarm begin to beep which was quickly turned off, a train go by in the distance, a light drizzle beginning to fall and, yes, “God is here".

How strange to experience God in someone else’s breath, a breeze, a noisy door, an itch, pain, discomfort, heat, cold, and yes, even in car alarms in the middle of the night and people who tend to them immediately, a train, an animal, the rain…truly I experienced God with me in so many different ways and just when I became grateful for all of it I fell asleep.
Jane Haproff

June 22, 2022 - God Chose Me

In a homily recently, Fr. Bony reminded us that we were chosen by God.  My first reaction to this was a sense of joy, privilege, and responsibility.  Then I immediately wondered how that would sound to non -believers.  The ones I know might feel envy or anger - a sort of why you and not me.  I thought then about what it means to be chosen.  I liken it to having my 5^th grade teacher ask me to stay after school to help her clean blackboards and erasers, empty the trash and maybe help decorate a bulletin board.  I felt so “chosen”, but not necessarily favorite.  It was enough to be asked.

I once heard a priest describe it this way:
Imagine you have just died and been ushered through the Golden Gates to a marvelous banquet.  Every delicacy you can imagine is there on a table laden with crystal and gold.  Jesus comes up to you, welcomes you and with one arm around you shows you into the kitchen saying “My good friend, you have been working with me and for me all of your life.  I couldn’t wait until you got here to help me serve all these other people who didn’t know or believe I existed”.

Those who don’t believe still do God’s work in so many ways and are blessed for it.  They just don’t have the pleasure of knowing that they are working side by side in the kitchen with God.
Jane Haproff

June 23, 2022 – What God Do I Choose?

Yesterday I wrote about being chosen by God when I realized I also have a choice: I can choose my own image of God.  Many worldly gods are available to me:  money, career, family, culture, politics etc.  Kierkegaard, one of my favorite philosophers, even referred to our moral commitments as a kind of God.  But there are also many images of God within my Catholic beliefs.  There is the God of devotion, who wants to be appeased, worshiped and adored. There is the transactional God; the “I will say three rosaries if you put that baby back to sleep” kind of God.  There is the God who makes everything right, evening things out in some cosmic way. There is the God who makes rules and keeps records; the one Kierkegaard cautions us against.  There can also be a tendency to make the institutional Church itself into God instead of the Body of Christ.  And then there is St. John’s simple description of God:  Love.  These are only a few of the ways God is presented to us. And if I’m honest I have moved back and forth among them sometimes on the same day.  I intentionally chose the God of love, but there are so many distractions, so much bad news that it is very hard to dwell in God’s love.  Martin Buber, another favorite of mine, refers to the “eclipse of God”…that He is hidden behind a cloud of our own making. 

God of love, clear the skies and our minds that we may dwell in your light and love .
Jane Haproff

June 24, 2022 – Church

There are many different ways to think about “church”.  It can refer to a belief system, to a group of people, to a set of rituals and to a building.   Right now I’m thinking of the building or place itself.  One weekday morning I arrived for Mass early.  The Church was nearly empty and dimly lit. The chalice and paten had already been placed on the altar.  There was a quietness there that seemed to penetrate my being; a stillness that made me think of the hymn, “There Is a Presence in This Place.” I was able to experience quiet, with reminders all around me of sacredness:  the Tabernacle, the lit candle beside it, the chalice and paten…all pointing me to the richness our faith and the presence of God.  At Sunday Mass I again arrived a bit early and sat in the pew listening to the sounds of the Church filling with people:  kneelers being lowered, Missalette pages rustling, but mostly the sound of greetings, people glad to see one another and to be together, some laughter, shaking hands and hugs.  We were invited to formally greet those around us, and then join in the entrance song.  Let the liturgy begin…there is a presence in this place.
Jane Haproff

June 25, 2022 – Wind Chimes

These last few days have been breezy, with slight winds blowing gently and then gusting and dying down off and on all day.  We have two sets of wind chimes hanging on our front porch located parallel to each other and about eight feet apart.  What has been interesting for me to notice is that they don’t both chime at the same time.  It might be the case that one rings, and several minutes later the other one does, but they rarely chime together.  First, on the same set of wind chimes different notes sound at different times and then different sets of wind chimes ring at different times and with different tones but they all make a “beautiful noise”.  I’m sure someone can explain to me the subtle differences in air currents, but it made me think about us…the people of God as wind chimes. We are all hanging from the same string of beliefs and practices, yet our music rings out differently. We’re struck by the spirit differently and we make different music at different times, all trying to praise God, each in our own way and our own time.
Jane Haproff

June 26, 2022 - Sins vs Sin

Long ago in a theology class somewhere a priest remarked that we should be conscious that God took away the SIN of the world, the stain of sin… all of it.  But we pray “sins of the world” as if there were a container of sins that God was concerned with.  Ever since then I’ve prayed “Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world”.  As I was thinking about this at Mass recently an important difference between the two became clear.  I thought about what I personally mean when I say the “sin of the world” and I found myself thinking it was a bit impersonal.  Sin is what is wrong with the world.  It’s an abstract, universal, chronic condition that affects us all: sin, as if we can’t escape it especially in our neighbors.  However when I said “sins of the world” I was aware of my own wrong doing.  It became very personal…the stuff of “what I have done and what I have failed to do”.  It’s not a chronic condition, it’s something I have a choice about.  And though it is true that I continue to sin, it is also true that the stain is gone and I, with my sinfulness, have been redeemed.
Jane Haproff

Reflections for June 13-19, 2022
June 13, 2022—Re(creation)

One of my wife’s “bucket list” items was to see Niagara Falls.  I had previously been there twice, but not for over 20 years.  In early May, my wife and I, along with another couple, flew to Niagara Falls and spent a week on the Canadian side, staying in the small village of Niagara on the Lake, about 10 miles north of the Falls.

The highlight of our trip was seeing the Falls.  A spectacular wonder, they touched all our senses from seeing their beauty to hearing their strong roar to experiencing the falls on the Maid of the Mist boat (it was like being baptized). We couldn’t help but ask, “How could anyone look at the Falls and not believe in God?” 

Throughout our stay, we enjoyed beautiful weather and were welcomed everywhere we went.  We learned that the Niagara, Canada area is situated in a beautiful wine country.  Niagara on the Lake had a small downtown area with excellent restaurants and home to an annual theatre festival.  Our hotel offered a beautiful view of the Niagara River and Lake Ontario, and the vicinity had beautiful walking trails surrounded by colorful tulips in full bloom.  The area was very historical, playing a prominent role in the War of 1812.  I marveled at how American and British citizens, once enemies at war, had become good friends.

Every now and then, a vacation can be magical.  We seemed to be (re)created in the backyard of God’s own beautiful creation.

Bob Leathers

June 14, 2022—Liturgies—Part I

The word “liturgy” means “the work of the people.”  As the new deacon and also as new parishioners, my wife, Cindy, and I have observed how much “work” by so many “people” goes into the celebration of our Sunday masses.  (In the Eastern Catholic churches, Sunday masses are called “Divine Liturgies.”)

In my previous parishes, both before and after I was ordained a deacon, it seemed like one or just a few people did all the work.  As a deacon, sometimes I needed to arrive early to open the sacristy, put out the vessels and other items needed for mass, turn on the sound system, and do any other “last minute” preparations.  At SS. Peter & Paul, my experience has been so different.  When I assist as a deacon, I really only need to show up and get vested.  Everything is already done.  Wow!

We are so blessed to have a wonderful Coordinator of RCIA and Liturgy, Coordinator of Music, and a group of committed volunteers to serve as Mass Coordinators, EM Coordinators, Ushers, Readers, EMs, Altar Servers, Greeters, musicians and singers, and AV and Live-stream projectionists. (Apologies for forgetting anyone.)  At SS. Peter & Paul, our masses—our liturgies—are truly the work of the people.  Eucharist means “thanksgiving,” and the Leathers family is grateful for such good liturgies at our new parish.

Bob Leathers

June 15, 2022—Liturgies—Part II

The Holy Week and Easter Sunday liturgies at SS. Peter & Paul gave me pause to reflect on these services, among the most solemn and holy of the year.  This year the words that came to my mind were inspiring, uplifting and prayerful.  Perhaps it was because we really couldn’t celebrate them in a suitable manner for the past three years due to the pandemic.  But this year, these liturgies were special, the best I’ve ever attended both before and after being ordained a deacon.

Our Holy Week and Easter Sunday liturgies were truly the “work of the people” of our parish.  Many hours were spent in planning, drafting the scripts, selecting and practicing the music, and conducting multiple rehearsals.  The scripts included brief explanations, particularly for the three movements of the Triduum which spanned the time from the Mass of the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday to the celebration of Christ’s passion on Good Friday, to the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday evening.

I was moved and blessed to be part of these wonderful celebrations and liturgies, and grateful for the work and contributions of our staff and volunteers.

Bob Leathers

June 16, 2022—Does Persistence Pay Off?

A few years ago in middle school (smile!), my favorite subject was math.  I was taking both second year algebra and geometry courses.  I had a string of A’s going but found myself on the cusp of receiving a B for the first time.  I really liked my math teacher, so it happened that as the grading period was ending, we both happened to be at the local grocery store.  I followed him around while he was shopping, pleading my case for an A.  I guess this is no different than a child following their mother around a toy store, wearing her out while her child explains over and over again in painstaking detail why he or she needs this or that toy.  And if you didn’t get what you wanted, it’s easy to conclude that your parent or teacher was not fair.

This story has been a reminder to be persistent in our pursuits, and especially so in the face of injustice.  Over time, I’ve learned that the pursuit of justice is not a one-person show; we need the help of companions and the action of our community.  It challenges us to ask: Do we stand by while others pursue justice, or do we also get involved?

By the way, I did get the A in my math class and over the years, my teacher taught me a lot more than math.  When Cindy and I got married, my math teacher was the best man at our wedding!

Bob Leathers

June 17, 2022—Community
When Cindy and I moved to Roseville in mid-2020, we not only missed the Bay Area locale, but also the communities of which we were a part.  These included our parish, diaconate and our respective work communities.  Initially, the pandemic didn’t make it easy to become part of new communities in the Roseville area.

Once we moved into our home in Roseville, things started to fall in place.  We became part of a neighborhood group consisting of 20 or so families.  One neighbor hosts a men’s coffee every week, and most of us take turns bringing breakfast goodies.  Cindy and the other women get together monthly for a bunko night.  Another community has been SS. Peter & Paul.  We have been so graciously welcomed.  I’ve been invited to our parish’s Cursillo men’s reunions, and both Cindy and I are blessed to be part of the Sacramento diaconate community, too.

We still miss the communities we had in the Bay Area.  Cindy still hosts our former parish’s Women’s Book Club every two months on Zoom!  But we are overjoyed at becoming a part of our new communities.  In addition to the social activities, members support each other.  When a neighbor recently had surgery, neighbors took turns making dinner each night for a week.  And we’ve also helped each other with rides to the airport. 

Our communities bring us life and we are very grateful.  As the Lord speaks to us in Genesis, we are not meant to be alone.

Bob Leathers

June 18, 2022—Life’s Curve Balls
A few years before my father passed away, my mother was diagnosed with dementia.  Eventually she needed a walker in the house and a wheelchair if she went out.  Dementia and Alzheimer’s are diseases that eat away at memory and the body’s motor skills.  It’s not easy to watch a parent or someone you love suffer from such diseases.  It’s also not easy to care for them when you are an only child.

Friends and family encouraged me.  They said, “Have faith.  Don’t be afraid of your cross.  In caring for your parents, you are caring for Christ.”  (Jesuit Father James Martin once quoted a nun whose illness confined her to a wheelchair for many years.  When the Mother Superior encouraged her to imitate Jesus in carrying her cross, the nun quipped, “Jesus only had to carry his cross for a few hours.”)

Fortunately, I had supportive friends and family.  I was able to hire a caretaker to spend weekdays with my parents.  Occasionally, she stayed overnight so I could get away.  After my father passed away, I had a friend who took me on a trip to Boston (my favorite city) to get away for a weekend.

Looking back, I could see that my friends were correct.  In caring for my parents, I was caring for Christ.  But I could only see that after they had died.  The paradox of our faith is that the cross is the path to life, the sign of God’s enormous, incomprehensible love for us. 

Bob Leathers

June 19, 2022—This Is Us
Yesterday, I reflected on my mother’s dementia.  Today, I’m reflecting on a TV family’s struggle with dementia, poignantly conveyed in the NBC series, This Is Us. NBC recently aired the series’ final episode.  Much of the final season dealt with Rebecca Pearson’s (played by Mandy Moore) dementia, and the difficult decisions her three children, Kevin, Randall and Kate, faced as Rebecca’s dementia worsened.

Each sibling had a different idea of where their mom should spend her last days.  When the siblings met at the family home in Pittsburgh, they argued about the best approach.  Kevin and Randall wanted to move Rebecca to their homes in Los Angeles and Philadelphia, respectively, but the two brothers wouldn’t listen to each other and pushed back on Kate’s approach, while acknowledging their mom appointed Kate to be Rebecca’s guardian.  But Kate had observed that her brothers never looked into their mom’s eyes when they spoke with her and never touched her.  If they couldn’t look at or touch her, why would anything change if Rebecca moved in with one of them?  Challenged by Kate, Kevin offered to move his family from Los Angeles to Pittsburgh and live in Rebecca’s home.  This solved the dilemma.  

Rebecca’s dementia brought her three children together.  This moving and poignant episode made me reflect on how much we need to support each other in the face of a crippling illness and how the power of love can restore hope when everything seems hopeless.

Bob Leathers

Reflections for June 6-12, 2022
June 6, 2022 - Motherhood and Mary as Our Model
Being a mother is my greatest achievement and one that brings joy and pain sometimes all at once. Raising teenagers is not easy, let alone three of them at once. When the kids were 4, 3, and 1, life was busy, chaotic but full.  As the kids turn 18, 17, 14, and 10 (bonus baby) I am aware again of how chaotic, busy, and full our lives are.  We are richly blessed with health, stable income, and activities abounding,  but on occasion my teen(s) and I may struggle to agree on expectations or deliverables.  It’s then that I ponder how Mary would handle this situation.  How would she handle a miscommunication or dispute with Jesus?   She was steady, grounded in God’s truth and love even when she saw her Son die on the cross..  Her love for God and her Son did not diminish despite the pain.  She did not have an ego of “my Son” or allow her feelings to cloud submitting to God’s will.
When I get to the heart of the issue in a dispute and am over my hurt feelings about our miscommunication, I go back to “speak truth with love.”  I am reminded by Mary’s example that truth has no ego; truth has no feelings; truth is inherently what God calls us to seek – seek him in all ways through truth and love. 
Bianca Hennager

June 7 2022 - Miracles in Our Midst
Fourteen years ago our family with three small children moved up to the Sacramento area when my husband accepted a teaching position up here. My husband took a slight pay cut to move here as we wanted to be near family and fell in love with the area when we visited.  Working out the details of the pay cut didn’t seem insurmountable, but the cost of benefits nearly broke us.  It was 2008 and most school districts stopped paying 100% benefits to new hires. My husband was tenured at his previous school so we had 100% of our benefits paid.  Having to pay for benefits for a whole family was eye opening.  I remember pinching more pennies than I would have liked just to keep the lights on.  One small miracle that came around this time was undelivered mail.  My aunt had sent us card on the birth of our daughter in August, but we never received it.  I thought it was lost in the mail.  Finances grew exceptionally tight especially as the Holidays approached, when a pleasant surprise showed up in our mail.  It was my Aunt’s card stamped “insufficient postage” requires $0.25 additional postage.  Someone paid the postage for us and in the card there was a very generous gift card which helped us finance our kids’ Christmas!    I know if we had received the card when it was originally intended it would not have been spent on gifts for the holidays.  The timing of this generous gift was truly miraculous and something I will never forget.
Bianca Hennager

June 8, 2022 - Courage under Change
The end of the school year has come, and with it a lot of change, and not only on the home front.  My oldest leaves for college, another daughter enters high school, and I was recently asked to lead a department that is struggling with changes within the business.  I was excited at the opportunity to lead a new team.  But shortly into the role, I realized it would be a heavy undertaking to help eight leaders adjust to the necessary fast- paced rate of change.  Several on the team were also struggling with personal stressors outside of work which compounded their resistance to change in the workforce.   I worked individually with each leader to identify specific obstacles and I committed to resolve each of them.  I was mentally and physically exhausted by this.  Typically, I would spend 12 hours a day trying to meet the needs of each of my team members.  As the leader of leaders, I felt alone in my vision of what I saw each leader capable of. My boss was encouraging when I became weary and worn down.  It takes a lot of courage to lead others in the ways that are needed to make change.  Some days I questioned if it was worth all the sacrifice and time spent on lifting others up. 
We are still amid change and transformation but some of the team leaders are helping to lift others up on the team.  I am continually surprised by how God uses each of us to help carry out his Divine Plan whether we recognize it in the moment or not. 
Bianca Hennager

June 9, 2022 - Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord
“Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.  I want to see you.”  Seeing the Lord with our heart  helps us to open our eyes.  When things seem impossible and unlikely God can move mountains.  Right after graduating college and coming home I began a Young Adult Ministry at my local Church.  I remember speaking after one of the Masses about the need for volunteers for an upcoming eveny we were hosting when I saw a young gentleman standing towards the back of the Church.  I personally invited him to the event and asked for his commitment.  He was taken aback by my direct nature but hesitantly agreed.  Upon arriving at the event, I thanked him for coming and put him to work.  He had so much fun serving and helping that the next time he didn’t need an invitation.  I saw how he became more involved in our Ministry and in Church in general.  About 5 years later, he was serving at the Archdiocesan level as an advisory member and still very involved in our local Church.  I asked him one day what made him decide to become so involved.  He commented that it was from being personally called to serve.  The experience which was happen stance on my part of seeing someone and personally inviting him to serve was life changing for him.  I do not take the credit for his experience as I felt it was the Holy Spirit moving through me to help open his eyes to what the Lord was calling him to do.  Being able to witness years later how he continued to minister to others was such a blessing.    
Bianca Hennager

June 10, 2022  - End of School Year Drain
The end of the school year is filled with lots of events and a race to the finish line.  As we draw closer to the finish line, I am drained.  Each morning is a challenge to get the kiddos out the door to school on time; breakfast is skipped or rushed and eaten on the run; and dinner is mostly out unless there is a fast option at home.  In these moments it is hard to see God at work in my life.  Everything seems like a grind with little joy.  And then I am reminded of the freedom of summer days:  sleeping in, long days at the pool; sun burns that turn into suntans; simple dinners; and popsicles.  That helps propel me to get through the end of the year.  And all the while God is inviting me to spend more time with him in this busy time.  I am reminded of a saying, “Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer daily, except when we are busy – then we need an hour.”  It is in my busy moments that I need to stop and focus on what truly matters – spending time with Jesus in prayer.  I make the time when I’m in the car or in little breaks throughout the day.  I am looking forward to a little retreat this summer where I can spend time in prayer with our Lord and be surrounded by other faith filled women to help me grow in my faith.  I hope to be energized by this experience and to be able to give back to others who may need the same thing.
Bianca Hennager
June 11, 2022 - What Is “Good”?

When I use the word “good” it seems like such a bland descriptive term yet so hard to embody.  I remember when I taught upper elementary we would have words that we would “ban” the use of in writing since they are often over used.  Good was one of those words.  Nice was another word added to the list.  As a class we came up with other more descriptive words to help depict what the author was trying to convey.  When I think. “what does it mean to be ‘good’” so many things come to mind.   A good upright person of faith is someone who seeks the Lord, prays, holds their tongue, listens with an open heart, and is a witness to what the Gospel preaches.  The saints had all of these traits and more.  As a follower of Christ I work to embody these qualities – some days it’s harder than others.  As a parent, I try to instill the importance of these qualities in my children.  As a spouse I try to witness to these qualities to help my spouse.  Often I question how a person who is on the journey of faith can speak of what is good when they are still learning it.  It comes down to not only being able to speak about what is good but striving to live a life that is good.  I fall short many days and I work to make amends for my many shortcomings.  I pray that my family can see my efforts and know that I am full of good intentions. 
Bianca Hennager

June 12, 2022 - Holy Trinity Sunday
God the Father is easy to relate to as I have a father.  God the Son is easy to relate to as I have a son.  God the Holy Spirit – who is that exactly?  As I recall the beautiful mystery of the Holy Trinity it is something that confounds me and is something I work to relate to.  It is easy to speak of the “Spirit” as somethone that moves throughout my life, bringing gifts and fruits. But I find it easier to focus on the tangibles or things that make sense.  The gifts of the Holy Spirit and fruits of the Holy Spirit are two things that help to guide me in knowing God the Holy Spirit better.  I wonder if there is more that I am missing?  I know that this is one of our greatest mysteries of faith. I know that God will make known all the questions that I have stored away in my mind when the time comes.  For now, I accept it as a mystery and not something that I fully understand. 
Believing in something that I don’t fully understand reminds me of the saying “the blind will see”.  I may be blind to knowing, but one day I will see.  One day it will all make sense, and it is okay that it doesn’t all make sense now.  As a questioner and worrier this can be hard for me at times.  It is during those moments that I call upon Our Father to help guide me and to help me be at peace with not knowing.  As we celebrate Holy Trinity Sunday may we revel in this mystery of faith knowing God is amazing and can do all. 
Bianca Hennager

Reflections for May 30-June 5, 2022

May 30, 2022 - Physical Meets Spiritual

A wise cross-country coach taught me how to improve my running times and distance. He suggested that I aim for a landmark and tag it when I reach it. I would choose a rock, tree or road sign to mark a turnaround point or distance achieved. The importance of this practice was to physically touch the landmark when I arrived. I still use this technique. I have a stop sign at the top of a challenging hill that I hit with great satisfaction when I reach the top, out of breath and spent. When I feel like quitting, I look ahead to a tree that I want to reach and when I do I rub my hand along the bark of the trunk to prove to myself that I made it.

I related this concept recently when discussing the sacraments at a retreat that I attended. We were discussing how physically receiving God’s blessing makes our connection with him more tangible. I’m able to hold the body of Christ in my hands during my weekly celebration of the Eucharist. My children were able to feel and smell the oil used in confirmation on their foreheads. I’m reminded of the marriage sacrament when I twist the wedding ring around my finger. I watched my infants get emerged in the holy water of baptism.

The physical can bring the spiritual. The goal may not be a faster 5K but a closeness to Christ. What can we be physically and tangibly doing to achieve this?
Jen Payan

May 31, 2022 - Family Vacations
Being the CEO of family operations, I’m often overwhelmed when planning family vacations. The amount of organizing, planning, and preparation is daunting. I carefully select our accommodations for comfort and activities that will keep everyone busy and engaged. I want everyone to be happy and satisfied. I spend much time planning and worrying that everything will be up to my family’s expectations.

After reflecting on the stress associated with vacation planning, I decided to do a quick text survey inquiring from each member what their most memorable moments on vacations over the years have been. What was interesting is that not one of them mentioned the quality of the accommodations, activities, or meals. But they all mentioned times that we all laughed together. The most popular response recalled an incident in which we all laughed until we cried. It involved a swan, a patio of quiet diners, and a flatulent member of our family trying to blame it on the swan- if you must know. They also mentioned witnessing nature - seeing baby monkeys in a tree, discovering sand dollars, and making it to the top of a ridge overlooking the ocean.

This is a great reminder of God’s intentions for our family time together. He wants us to laugh and find joy. He wants us to enjoy his creation. He probably isn’t terribly concerned about the logistics.  He gave us our families to be in communion with him and each other. The take home: enjoy the moments, drop the pressure of perfection.
Jen Payan

June 1, 2022 - The Peter in All of Us
This Lenten season, I was reminded of my love for the apostle Peter. He loves Jesus with such great intensity and is always striving to be close with him and do what Jesus asks. However, he often falls short.

After pledging his love to Jesus during the Last Supper, he claims himself a devoted disciple but then asks Jesus who is the greatest among his apostles, trying to get the “you are my favorite” wink from Jesus. Jesus immediately calls him out on his pride. Then after pledging his complete faithfulness to Jesus, Peter folds under pressure and denies that he even knows him.

My favorite Peter story is when Jesus comes to the disciples’ rescue during a storm by walking across the water to reach their boat. Peter impulsively leaps from the boat to meet Jesus, believing he will surely be able to walk toward his teacher. Unfortunately, as soon as his feet hit the water he becomes afraid and starts to sink. He cries out “Lord save me!” Jesus reaches out, catches him, and asks “why did you doubt?” He says “you of little faith” to Peter. While Peter’s heart so confident in Jesus’ love he still had that moment of fear and insecurity.

Don’t I often act as Peter did?  I love and trust in God, but as soon as fear, doubt or grief set in I begin to waiver. But I think scripture makes it clear, especially when telling the story of Peter’s relationship with Jesus, that I am always going to be forgiven, loved, encouraged, and corrected by God.
Jen Payan
 
June 2, 2022 - Fire
My husband recently retired after 30 years in the fire service. People often ask him what fighting fire was like. Most have the Hollywood perspective:  charging into a burning room with water and axes, looking for victims who they triumphantly save.

Real firefighters tell a different story. Entering a burning building is a blind experience. The room is dark with smoke. Walls guide them in a crawl, searching the rooms, feeling for victims who have often succumbed to smoke, not knowing if they are alive or not. Rescuers are laden with heavy equipment and air tanks and constantly fight disorientation. They just work diligently to find their way back to the point of entry to deliver victims to medics standing by.

Recently, fire departments have started using thermal imaging cameras. While they are still trained to work in the blind, these cameras have given them the gift of vision and light. They use the camera to scan the room intermittently during a search, improving their orientation and ability to spot a victim and get them both safely to the exit.

I feel that is what letting God into your life can do. I know that he provides the light and security I need, but often I ignore it and grope around in the dark. The stress and pressure can be enormous when I act without his help. He has given all of us access to the gift of his light. I just need to remember to keep it in my tool bag!  Are you ready to start using your God imagining camera?
Jen Payan


June 3, 2022 - Tattoos
I’ve seen many tattoos in my 30 years as a nurse and EMT, from the humorous to the artistic to the offensive. And, the tattoo might give me a little insight into who this person is.

I recall caring for a trauma victim in the ICU that was in a coma on a ventilator with some very disturbing tattoos displaying racism and hate. Large swastikas covered the back of his head and chest. Staff immediately took offense. We did our best to provide compassionate care, but it wasn’t easy.

 After this patient recovered and was discharged, a physician friend of mine shared a story with. At this man’s follow up visit to his office, the man asked “do my tattoos offend you?” My friend answered truthfully, “yes, they do. I’m Jewish and it is very hard to see the swastikas on your skin.” To my friend’s surprise, the man apologized, saying he had gotten the tattoos during a difficult time in his life and they no longer reflected his values. He now had to live with them. My friend accepted the apology and was moved by the man’s story.

What an amazing lesson! I had been seething in anger and hurt since my first contact with this man. The tattoos had defined him. I had not taken the time to hear his story because I had already judged him. I know situations like these are gifts from God that help change my heart and mind. He is constantly teaching me ways to be more Christian.
Jen Payan

June 4, 2022 - By Myself!

One of my daughters was so terribly independent as a child that I think her first words were “by myself!” She insisted on picking her own outfits, dressing herself, and putting on shoes without assistance. She would refuse a hand when climbing a tree or balancing on a narrow beam. Of course, this led to accidents – a broken arm falling off a short retaining wall, a black eye from swinging a golf club, to name a few. Never mind the crimes against fashion.

I know many parents reading this are relating right now. You know, the one kid that gave you a heart attack at the park when they tried standing on top of the swing set? Or that you lost track of at the store and found them wandering the isles on their own? What about the one who would only push their own stroller and never sit in it? As a parent, these experiences are both terrifying and infuriating at the same time. So much patience and calmness are required to parent our independent little ones. Yet, we still want them to have adventures, make their own decisions, and be daring. We just long for their safety and wellbeing.

I imagine that is how our God the Father feels about caring for us.  He has given us all free will and an amazing creation to live in. And, He wants me to experience it, but not necessarily “by myself.” He wants to protect and care for me. He wants to help me thrive. I need to remember to reach up and grab his hand when he offers it.  Asking for help from him just makes me stronger and keeps me safe.
Jen Payan

June 5, 2022 - Not Enough
Recently, while studying the book of Exodus with my bible study group, I was part of many discussions about the complex character of Moses. Many of us were astounded by his transformation from an insecure young man to one of the strongest leaders of the Israelites. What we found most relatable was his initial doubt in his abilities when he was called by God. Even after getting a personal invitation (via burning bush) from God to lead his people he still didn’t have the confidence to take the position. Many times he voiced his insecurities to God. “I’m not a good speaker” and “nobody is going to listen to me.” But God himself was telling Moses that he was capable.

How many times have I felt I was “not enough?” Or have I felt that I didn’t have what it takes to get through a challenging situation? Through the story of Moses, God is assuring me that He will always provide us with the skills and talents to help us. Especially if we are receiving a call from him.
Jen Payan

Reflections for May 23-29, 2022
May 23, 2022 – Busy
Earlier this year I found myself busy being involved in many different activities and there was still more that I wanted to do. Some of the things I wanted to do conflicted with other commitments I had already made, and I couldn’t do it all. It was a stressful time being as busy as I was, while also being a sad time since I couldn’t do it all. Reflecting on this, I realized that it’s important to accept that sometimes you can’t do everything you want to, whether it’s because of time conflicts or the inability to handle everything, and that is ok. As for dealing with the stresses of having a lot to do in a short time, I need to remind myself that I can only do one thing at a time. Oftentimes, if I look at my calendar and see a lot of meetings, events, rehearsals, etc., I tend to stress out about not having enough time to just relax. Sometimes I have things on my calendar that are supposed to be fun and should be things I look forward to, but instead of looking forward to it, I stress about the planning I need to do or the other responsibilities I have before or after those days. I need to take things one day at a time and enjoy every moment as they come. After all, even God didn’t create the universe all in one day!
Heidi Schuyler

May 24, 2022 – Masks
This past year I volunteered to lead a Youth and Family Faith class. This is not my first year volunteering, but this time was different from the past. Because of COVID-19, everyone had to wear a mask during class time. I had no complaints about this because I believe everyone’s safety is very important. However, I found that the masks made it difficult to connect to the students. I had a hard time figuring out if they were following me as I talked, if they were bored, or if they were getting something out of the class. I didn’t know if I was doing a decent job engaging them in discussion. Many of the students in my group rarely participated in discussion and I didn’t know if they were just shy or if they didn’t care. One day, after I made some take-away points on a discussion question, I decided to ask if what I said made sense to them and if they agreed or disagreed because everyone kept quiet. Some of the students nodded in agreement, and one let me know that they’re all just taking it in and processing it in their own way. That was good to know and helped me feel better. The challenges that I had with my class reinforce the idea that facial cues are very important for human connection and I pray for a day when COVID-19 can completely be seen in the rearview mirror.
Heidi Schuyler

May 25, 2022 – Energy
My parents have told me stories of adventures they  took before I was born. Once they spontaneously took a road trip from Sacramento to Utah without even stopping. They told me that they had so much energy when they were younger but now could no longer take such a trip at their age. Being about the same age that they were at that time, I reflected on how I don’t feel like the energy I have now matches what they used to have. I am always tired and I don’t want to do anything most of the time. I often must force myself to get out of the house and exercise. I wondered why I and many of my peers lack the energy that our parents’ generation seemed to have at our age, and I think it has to do with the fast-paced world we’re living in now. In the past, when we didn’t have computers and all the other technology we have today, completing various tasks for work or school took longer and expectations of the time it should take were lower. Now we live in a fast-paced world where everything is at our fingertips, and more is expected of us. The stress from all of this can be overwhelming and make us more tired. I think a good solution to this problem is finding time to relax and destress at the end of every week – even God needed to take time for rest after creating the universe!
Heidi Schuyler


May 26, 2022 – Prayer
There are so many ways for us to pray; my favorite is just simply talking to God. In prayer, I like to thank Him for the many blessings He has given me, give Him praise, and express to Him my fears and frustrations. I also often ask for guidance in certain situations when I don’t know what to do. When I ask for clarity, I hope to hear an answer from Him but I usually don’t get it. I started to think that maybe I don’t get answers sometimes because I’m not opening my ears and heart. Sometimes I’m afraid of the answer I think I will get because that answer might be that what I want is not good for me or I might be told I’m called to do something that I don’t want to do. Because of this, I think I often don’t spend extra time in silence waiting for an answer from God when I pray. In prayer, I ask the Lord for answers to my questions and problems but then I have trouble opening myself up to accept them. So I pray: Open my ears, Lord. Help me to hear your voice.
Heidi Schuyler

May 27, 2022 – Rejection
Rejection is a reality that we all face in life. It is something that I experienced recently. It always stings and is disappointing, but I must remember Matthew 21:42: “The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.” Although Jesus was rejected by the Jewish people and crucified, He became the cornerstone of our Church and faith. A lot of good can come out of rejection. In some cases, a rejection can push me to look at ways I can improve myself and maybe be successful next time. In other cases, nothing may need to be improved and a rejection could just mean that a better opportunity that I don’t know about yet will present itself later. When one door closes, another one opens. I have to trust that when things don’t work out the way I want, it is either because I can learn from it, or God has a better plan for me.
Heidi Schuyler


May 28, 2022 – Light Up the Darkness
I have been hearing more and more news about mass shootings and other violent crimes lately, including the recent news of a racially motivated mass shooting at a supermarket in Buffalo, NY. When I think about the lives lost, I am filled with both anger and sadness for the hate and evil in the world. I want these horrible acts to be put to an end, but I don’t know how I can personally stop them. When you are only one person, it can seem like nothing you do will be enough to make a change, but this is not true. Just as the Easter candle is lit from the fire at the Easter Vigil each year and the flame is passed on from person to person until all candles are lit, so can our own lights be passed on from person to person until the whole world is lit up and darkness is conquered. We may have a long way to go until this is achieved, but it all starts with a single candle. I can start by being sure to show kindness and love to others whenever I see someone in need, in both big and small ways.
Heidi Schuyler

May 29, 2022 – Return
In today’s first reading (Acts 1:1-11), Jesus ascended into heaven and two men dressed in white garments appeared and said, “Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky? This Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven will return in the same way as you have seen him going into heaven.” In reading this, I imagined Jesus returning to Earth the same way he left to go to heaven. What a magnificent sight that would be for anyone who witnesses it some day! I don’t know when Jesus’s second coming will be and it most probably will not be in my lifetime. But if it were to occur during my lifetime, I would feel so honored if I had the chance to witness His descent onto Earth. I’m sure I would be filled with much awe and wonder. Though I don’t know when Jesus will return, while we wait, I pray that I may prepare myself by loving all people, making a difference in the lives of others, and following Jesus wherever He leads me throughout my life.
Heidi Schuyler