Daily Reflections

If you would like to receive these daily reflections (written by various parishioners) in your email box each day, contact darcy.wharton@rocklincatholic.org

We are now selling a year's worth of our own parishioner's Daily Reflections in a wonderful book entitled, "The Chimes".  You can purchase a copy in the parish office for $5.  Makes a great gift!



































Reflections for Mar. 27- April 2, 2023

March 27, 2023 – At My Side

Praying in the pews at mass took on new meaning after having children.  When the girls were little, I longed for the sleeping child on my shoulder during mass; instead we were always moving between the pew, the vestibule, and the bell tower.  In fact, I think we spent more time away from the pew than seated in it, and I rarely caught an entire homily…often returning to the pew just in time to join the communion line. 
As the girls have grown though, I have noticed moments when I have a child on either side of me in the pew, leaning their heads on my shoulders…they are grown enough to lay their heads on my shoulder!  In those moments, I feel supported and loved – the presence of God at my side.

Today’s Psalm proclaims, “Even though I walk in the dark valley, I fear no evil for you are at my side.”  We hear this psalm so often in times of darkness, pain and strife because it is during those times when we need to be reminded of God’s presence the most.  The challenge for me is to remember to feel God’s presence at my side in the day-to-day living as well.  So, I relish the moments when others (especially my children) mirror God’s love and support to me in the simplest of ways…leaning into God’s love.
-Katie Maynard

March 28, 2023 – Lunchbox Notes

To know, love and serve God – it is the call of a disciple.  I often find it easier to know God’s love and more difficult to feel God’s love because of obstacles such as guilt and shame which get in the way of experiencing God’s love.  But, if I can allow myself to receive the abundant love of God, then it naturally pours over and out into my life and I can pass it to others readily.  Sometimes it is so simple and so small that I don’t even recognize it as service.

Last year, my husband Casey noticed how making lunches for my girls had become overwhelming for me among the many other things on my “To Do Ticker.”  Not only did he take over making their lunches, but he also packed me a lunch for my work day, and added the sweetest touch of handwritten notes to all of us on our napkins.  He has continued to do this without fail and it has been an incredible example of service for us all.  God’s love poured out into these handwritten notes – a moment of grace in the midst of our busy days. 
The grace doesn’t end here however, because God’s love is abundant and can’t help but get passed on.  You see, my girls have now started writing notes to me in my lunchbox, passing on what was modeled to them by their dad – bringing joy and tenderness to my day.  God’s love poured out in service with the cutest handwriting ever.
-Katie Maynard

March 29, 2023 – Spills

As a Christmas gift, we all received a more grown-up version of a “paint-by-number,” and we took the quiet time of the holiday break to work on them together as a family at our dining room table.  When we finished a “session” we cleaned up the paint, but left it on the table to work on whenever we felt called. 

One day I took my coffee to the table for an idyllic morning of coffee and painting, when with one stroke of the brush, I bumped the mug and coffee spilled all over my canvas, me and the floor.  Now, I’m a pretty calm person, but I was freaking out on the inside…not only because of how hard I had been working on that canvas, but also because I had a huge mess to clean up.

And then the sweetest thing unfolded as my girls immediately came to my rescue with towels and hugs.  I was struck by an incredible sense of relief to have someone else help me clean up a mess.  As things got cleaned up and we looked at the canvas we noticed that the stain wasn’t that bad and would likely be covered by paint anyway.

God rescues us with towels and hugs all the time when we spill or make messes and he doesn’t make us clean it up by ourself – he is with us as we pick ourselves up and see things anew.
-Katie Maynard

March 30, 2023 – Anticipation and Recognition

For Lent we decided as a family that it was time to start watching the television series The Chosen together on a weekly basis.  The first episode was a bit intense and a little scary for my youngest daughter as we saw Mary Magdalene consumed by darkness.  But I noticed that as the episode progressed, we were all on the edge of our seat…waiting …when finally my daughter exclaimed, “Where is Jesus?!”  She spoke the words that we were all feeling: anticipation and a need for Jesus to step in and help.  And then when Jesus appeared, there was immediate recognition as our gasps were audible and we all exclaimed in unison, “It’s Jesus!”  

In that beautiful moment, we experienced the hope of our faith, and our need for Jesus as a family.  And, at the same time, we experienced the call of our faith to surrender our hearts to God, and to recognize Jesus in the midst of our lives…to exclaim “It’s Jesus!” all day long.
-Katie Maynard

March 31, 2023 – Lenten Lunches

I remember being a young Catholic at a public school during Lent feeling both awkward and proud about the ashes on my forehead, and feeling the same way when Lenten observances became obvious (especially fasting from meat on Fridays).  Similarly, my daughters have been navigating what it means to express their faith at school.  My youngest daughter came home after school on a Friday recently and said, “Mom, I talked to the lunch lady and our friends about Lent today.”  When I asked her to tell me more, she explained that when she realized that her designated hot lunch was a pepperoni pizza roll, she said to the lunch lady, “I can’t eat this because I’m Catholic, but I’ll just take the pepperoni out.”  Then, when she returned to her cafeteria table, her friends were curious about why Catholics couldn’t eat meat on Friday.  This curiosity led to a discussion about how Jesus sacrificed his life for us and so we sacrifice by giving up things like meat during the 40 days of Lent…”just like Jesus in the desert!”

A cafeteria table of third graders sharing a meal and talking about Jesus’ loving sacrifice – such a profound image of a Lenten journey full of conviction and witness.
-Katie Maynard 

April 1, 2023 – Savor

I’ve always been fascinated by the agrarian life and how Jesus intentionally wove metaphors of the land into his teaching.  In listening to his parables, I have come to understand the importance of sowing the seeds and being the good soil for God’s word to take root.  That being said, it’s the harvesting part that I could use some work with…savoring what has been sown.

As the nutrients have developed and things have reached maturity, the harvester gathers what is useful, and allows what remains to go back into the soil to grow and develop.  The harvest brings food and nutrition to a community; it celebrates what fruit is born from labor and love; and it is a patient process – always looking backwards in order to look ahead.

I am planting seeds all the time: with my children, in the work that I do, and in my own heart, but do I stop to gather (or harvest) the graces of what was sown?  This harvesting is simply the act of savoring God’s work through my lived experience – nourishing those around me, delighting in my labor of love, and with a contrite and gracious heart, reflecting on and preparing for the road ahead.
-Katie Maynard

April 2, 2023 – What’s the Buzz?

Music, in particular the lyrics within the music and the movements of melody and harmony, have always been an instrument for me to experience intimacy with God.
Musicals in particular are such a powerful vehicle for storytelling.  I grew up watching my grandmother delight in “The King and I,” I listened to the soundtracks of musicals such as “Les Miserables,” “Phantom of the Opera,” and “Evita” on road trips, and as an adult have had the privilege of attending numerous musicals live on stage.  Perhaps the greatest impact though was watching my dad perform in our parish production of “Godspell” as a child.  I remember attending rehearsals with him, watching the show come together, and then being completely taken by how the story of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection came to life through song. 

Last month, we took our girls to Sacramento Broadway’s production of “Jesus Christ Superstar” and we weren’t sure how it would go over: Would it feel too intense? Would they be scared?
It turned out to be a beautiful entry into Lent as they were glued to the story…a story that they were familiar with and heard many times before.  And yet, through the music, it settled into their soul in a completely different way.  It has sparked many questions, led to beautiful conversations, and we’re still singing the songs – steeped in the Passion of Christ.
-Katie Maynard

Reflections for Mar. 20-26, 2023

March 20, 2023 – Monday – Wash me Clean
Monday was wash day when I was growing up.  Depending on how much laundry there was, it could also be ironing day.  I think back about that now and scheduling such chores seems odd.  We wash clothes when we have a full load of something and do very little ironing!  But I remember those earlier growing up days with fondness…piles of sorted clothes waiting to be washed; the smell of freshly laundered clothes as the heat of the iron hits them; folded towels and sheets waiting to be put away; the busyness, purposefulness and satisfaction of completing a task even though one knows it will all happen again next Monday. 

Lent reminds me of those Mondays.  I relate to clothes undergoing the process of being cleansed.  I am like that, sorting myself out, undergoing a process of identifying what needs to be washed out and let go of.  For me it is a time to fold the good practices of prayer and fasting back into my life in a more deliberate way and to put away some of the distractions of ordinary time.  The purposefulness of doing all of this is not self-oriented.  When I consciously forego some treat or trade a particular activity for prayer time I say that childhood prayer “all for thee oh sacred heart of Jesus”.  Thus I try to make space for a deeper awareness of and relationship with God.   And then, I’ll do it all again next year.
Jane Haproff

March 21, 2023 – Tuesday
Most wash days did not end with getting the ironing done.  So Tuesday was almost always ironing day; sprinkling the clothes with a bit of water, rolling them up and setting them aside so that they were just the right kind of dampness to iron out wrinkles.  Again I am reminded of Lent.  Unlike Advent which is a time of preparing for new birth and new life, for me Lent it a time of reckoning; a time of setting things straight and ironing out the wrinkles that can make my spiritual life messy.   It’s about recognizing my own sinfulness and accepting forgiveness.  Those are easy words to say, harder to accomplish.   As a child I had a formulaic way of approaching Reconciliation…I disobeyed my mother X number of times, I was selfish, etc.  I fully accepted that these sins were forgiven just as I also knew that Jesus died for my sins.  I don’t remember how that knowledge affected me when I was younger, but now it feels like a terrible burden.  Jesus died because I was petty, gossiped or was selfish?  That’s awful!!   Repulsed by and afraid of violence, how can I reckon the fact that my wrongdoing contributed to the violent death of Jesus?  The kind of love that God shows in this action is almost crushing.  So this Lent I am trying to recognize the wrongdoing, iron it out of my life and truly accept the fact of God’s enormous and unfathomable love.
Jane Haproff

March 22, 2023 – Wednesday
Hump day.  The week is half over.  There is something hopeful, something good built into the idea of “half over”.  When doing any repetitious tasks that require counting, such as certain kinds of exercises, and I get to the halfway mark I feel happy because I’m “nearly done”.  Of course I’m not…there is just as much ahead of me as there was behind me. It just feels that being on the down side of something is less arduous than the beginning of a task. The Church recognizes this and gives us Laetare Sunday which we celebrated last week, and is just a bit over the halfway mark of Lent .  We “Rejoice!” because we are drawing closer to the joy of Easter.  It is a reminder that even though we will soon walk through the horror of Good Friday, the joy and hope of Easter Sunday is close.  It’s also a gentle reminder that there is still time for me to make good on those Lenten intentions!
Jane Haproff

March 23, 2023 – Thursday
The Holy Thursday liturgy that we will soon celebrate is my favorite liturgy of the year.  It gives me a much deeper experience of Eucharist because it connects its two essential ingredients:  bread of life and service.  I am not only blessed by and fed with the Body of Christ, but I am also given the example of Jesus serving his disciples in a real hands-on manner.  David and I recently attended a day of continuing education for deacons that focused on Eucharist.  According to Fr. John Baldovin, S.J. sacraments reveal to us who God is.  And Jesus reveals himself as God who empties himself of all privilege, first by becoming man, then modeling for us un intimate example of service by washing another’s feet which could be a distasteful job.  In Eucharist bread and wine are transformed into Jesus, who then transforms me.  So adoration of the Eucharist is not enough.  I must be aware that I become what I eat and follow Jesus’ example of service.  Eucharist gives me a mission and impels me to it:  to pour myself out for the world in service no matter how distasteful or boring the job might be.
Jane Haproff

March 24, 2023 – Friday
The Fridays of my youth were meat free year-round, not just during Lent. The sacrifice inherent in abstaining from meat was overshadowed for me by the fact that I liked most of those meatless meals the best.  My mother was a brilliant woman who did not like to cook!  So we had a regular rotation of macaroni and cheese baked in the oven with a crispy top, fish sticks, and tuna casserole topped with potato chips.  Meatless Fridays were also recognized by the culture at large, where every restaurant or café served clam chowder.  Those Fridays marked us as Catholic in a way that did not occur on any other day.  It was a sign of who we were:  Catholic with all that entails.

I often wonder what marks me as noticeably Catholic in the culture these days.  Ashes on Ash Wednesday do, but that is a once-a-year identity.  What sets me apart from the culture every other day of the week?  And aren’t I supposed to be set apart, in the world but not of it? Aren’t I supposed to be an embodiment of Christ today?  Or at least an example of Him? As I ask myself these questions I remind myself that I try to make everything I am and do be for Him. And He will do with it what he wishes. The rest is just ego.
Jane Haproff
 
March 25, 2023 – Saturday

These days it’s difficult to separate Saturday and Sunday.  It’s all under the category of weekend.  Saturday used to be the day we went to confession. Bless me Father for I have sinned…Sunday was the day of worship, of going to Mass.  Because my Dad worked nights, when we went to Mass as a family it was always the latest Mass on Sunday which at that time was noon.  However, I often went to the nine o’clock Mass with friends; school children were encouraged to attend this Mass.  In each case though, Mass was on Sunday.  Then came some of the liturgical changes that allowed for an evening vigil Mass and lots of options opened up.  I still remember the first Holy Thursday evening vigil Mass I attended in 1956.  As I was coming down from the choir loft to receive Communion in a darkened Church lit by candles I thought this was the most beautiful and mystical experience.  Mass at night, darkness when we emerged from the Church!  And now the Saturday evening vigil is my regular Mass.  I no longer connect it to something mysterious.  It is the focus of my week and I like the way that it feels connected to the Jewish idea of the Sabbath, sundown to sundown.  Shalom and may we carry the peace of Christ with us.
Jane Haproff 

March 26, 2024 – Sunday

Today would have been my oldest sister’s birthday.  The treatment she was undergoing for her cancer thirty years ago was very different from what is available today.  She was sick, bedridden and depressed for most of a year.  I gave her a guided meditation that suggested picturing the most beautiful place one could imagine such as mountains, seashores, etc.  My sister told me she pictured herself laying at the foot of the altar.  Her death was one of the greatest losses I have experienced. 

Today’s gospel recounts the story of Lazarus, a dear friend of Jesus and the brother of Mary and Martha.  When Jesus arrives in the village Lazarus has been dead four days.  Two things happen that speak to me:  when Jesus sees those close to Lazarus weeping, he becomes “deeply troubled” and when he approaches the tomb he weeps.  When I think of all the indignities and rejections that Jesus suffers, the torture and the violent death he endures, he never weeps.  What moves him to tears is the suffering of his friends and the loss of Lazarus.  Somehow that image of Jesus weeping over another’s death is very comforting to me.  And then he raises Lazarus from the dead, providing him and his family and friends a few more years together and prefiguring the idea of a final resurrection!  And then Jesus promises that final resurrection to us all.  I think of my sister laying at the foot of the altar…knowing it is not the end.  Alleluia
Jane Haproff

Reflections for Mar. 13-19, 2023

March 13, 2023—Learn to Pray When You Are Well

In The Gift of Peace, Joseph Cardinal Bernardin, the former Archbishop of Chicago, shared his personal reflections on the last three years of his life before his death in 1996.  His reflections covered the false accusations of sexual misconduct, his diagnosis of cancer, and the return of the cancer following 15 months of remission.  I’ve read his book several times and have always found it inspiring.

In one reflection, Cardinal Bernardin opens up about his prayer life, and shares how difficult it is to pray when you are sick.  Perhaps his reflections resonated with my own struggles in prayer, especially during my recovery from a hip fracture in 2017 and an infection in 2019 resulting from overnight surgery to debride extra bone that grew back around my new left hip.

My best prayer teachers were the Sisters of St. Joseph of St. Augustine (Florida).  As a young boy they taught me to pray using the acronym, ACTS.  A=Adoration, C=Contrition, T=Thanksgiving, and S=Supplication (i.e., petitions for others).  While I’m hopeful that my prayer life has evolved, I’ve never forgotten ACTS, and have come back to it when I struggle with my own prayer.

Cardinal Bernardin shared this message with respect to his prayer during the challenges he faced in the last years of his life: Learn to pray when you are well.  I heartily endorse this message!
Bob Leathers

March 14, 2023—Agnes: Part 1—When All Else Fails, Have Faith

Early this year, one of my wife’s closest girlfriends lost her mother, Agnes, at the age of 90.  I was honored to assist at her funeral mass in Southern California in February and preach the homily.  Over 125 family and friends came together to celebrate her life and new life in Christ.

I first met Agnes in the early 2000s, and Cindy and I were honored that she attended our wedding in 2006.  Agnes impressed me with her deep Catholic faith.  Her faith sustained her during her darkest days.  Agnes loved children and she raised three of them.  But she also had six other pregnancies which resulted in miscarriages.  I can imagine Agnes offering hope to someone who was struggling with their faith by simply saying, “When all else fails, have faith.”

I was also impressed with Agnes’ humility.  Over 20 years ago, with the support and encouragement of another family member, Agnes embraced and accepted mental health support that she had needed for a number of years.  And during the last few years of her life as she lived more passively, Agnes accepted help by making space in her home for a live-in caregiver.

Agnes learned to accept life as it came and surrender control over many things.  It’s the way of life that Jesus offers us, however difficult it may be and whatever sacrifices it may involve, confident that to accept it is the ultimate way to peace and happiness.

When all else fails, have faith.
Bob Leathers

March 15, 2023—Agnes: Part II—"In All Circumstances, Give Thanks”

Following Agnes’ funeral mass, a reception was held and one of Agnes’ children got up to thank everyone.  It was remarkable.  Almost everyone was thanked by name and for what they had done for Agnes.

Then one family who were neighbors to Agnes’ daughter got up to speak.  The family had moved to California from the Midwest a number of years ago, and their daughter grew up with Agnes’ grandchildren.  When Grandparents’ Day was celebrated at the local elementary school, the family’s daughter had no one to invite because her grandmother lived in the Midwest.  So she invited Agnes to attend as her “adopted” grandmother. 

I think Agnes would have been proud, because her family, including extended family and friends, were her greatest joy, and she was a blessing to all of them.  Ron Rolheiser, OMI, a well-known speaker and author, wrote that to bless someone is to speak well of that person, to take delight in that person, and in some way, to give up some real life for that person.  Agnes raised her three children as a single parent.  She didn’t have much but made sure her children had everything they needed.  She also blessed children from around the world.  She worked at a language institute, where she met students from all over the world and hosted several of them in her home.  And she earned the title of “adopted grandmother,” too!

As St. Paul tells us, “Rejoice always. … In all circumstances, give thanks.”
Bob Leathers

March 16, 2023—Interpersonal Relationships

The other day, I stumbled across notes from my deacon retreat the year I was ordained.  One talk centered on several virtues of interpersonal relationships.

Here's what I captured:

Sacrifice.  To be human involves sacrifice.  Unless you know what it means to sacrifice deeply for others, you have not lived. 

Judging Others.  In this passage from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 7:1-5), Jesus says: Do not judge and you will not be judged. 

It is so easy for me to make judgments about others.  It seems like a human thing to do because I make judgments all the time. I wonder why Jesus tells us not to judge.  Perhaps it is a means of control.  It’s a mystery of why we see evil or the bad in others and want to deal with it by exercising power, and it can be a difficult cycle to break. But there is another kind of judgment that involves choosing between two or more, often good, options.  This form of judgment is better known as discernment.

Forgiveness.  God’s forgiveness is fundamentally different than human forgiveness.  Unforgiveness is a poison, while God’s forgiveness is extravagant.  The fruit of forgiveness is that it transforms and renews relationships.  In forgiving ourselves we in turn have the capacity to forgive another.

Lord, this Lent, help me to sacrifice more joyfully, stop judging others, prayerfully be more discerning, and forgive more.
Bob Leathers

March 17, 2023—It’s St. Patrick’s Day!  Green Beer, Anyone?

• There are two kinds of people in the world:  The Irish and those who wish they were.  On St. Patrick’s Day, everyone is Irish, but only if you wear green!  And if you don’t, you might be pinched.

• Often, when St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Friday, like this year, the Bishop grants a dispensation so we can eat meat, or more specifically, Corned Beef, along with green beer.

I can only wonder whether St. Patrick would be amused at some of the St. Patrick’s Day customs we celebrate in the U.S.  St. Patrick probably liked to celebrate, but might wish we enhance our remembrance of his day with a few spiritual practices.  “Prayer, scripture and evangelization were real hallmarks of his life.” (from Miracles of the Saints).

St. Patrick, known as the Apostle to Ireland, prepared 21 years for his mission in Ireland. He acquired practical wisdom needed to teach the Gospel of Christ.  Legend has it that he used 3-leaf shamrocks to teach the Trinity. 

In his writings, St. Patrick admitted to spiritual apathy, losing some of the Spirit’s fervor within him from his more youthful days.  St. Patrick can be a hopeful sign to all of us who feel some of our youthful passion has cooled.

St. Patrick employed miracles over the magic of druids (pagan priests who dominated the Irish with their magic) to convert the Irish.  In 12 years, Ireland had been converted from paganism to Christianity.  Not bad for a few miracles.
Bob Leathers

March 18, 2023—The Annunciation

I keep an icon of the Annunciation of the Lord to Mary by the Archangel Gabriel on the wall in my home where I usually pray.  In a few days, March 25^th to be exact, we pause during Lent to celebrate this feast.  (Apologies if I’m stealing next week’s meditation for this feast day)!

The gospel reading on the Annunciation (St. Luke’s gospel) has taught me to expect the unexpected and unforeseen circumstances in my plans.  If I expect them to unfold as I want them to, then I’ll be frustrated because they will rarely happen the way I want them to.  I sometimes wonder if the problems in life are disguises for the entertainment that God gives us!  In some little ways, this Lent has taught me to trust the reality created by God more than my plans.  The most unforeseen event is that Christ was born as a human being and that he is made real in the Eucharist.
Bob Leathers


March 19, 2023—Solemnity of St. Joseph

Sunday always trumps a saint’s feast day, even St. Joseph.  So this year, we celebrate his feast tomorrow.

When I made my Confirmation (back then, in the 4^th grade), I selected Joseph as my patron.  I still have the statue given me as a gift. 

Matthew’s gospel tells us that Joseph was a just man, one who was completely open to all God wanted for him.  But Joseph was in a pickle because he found, Mary, his betrothed, pregnant.   According to the law, it was his right to expose her for this adulterous act.  But enlightened by an angel, Joseph sees that the only way to preserve Mary’s honor would be to bring Mary into his home and adopt the child as his own.  He shifts his focus away from his rights and shows empathy to Mary.  Later in Matthew’s gospel, Jesus teaches that one must go beyond what the law requires in order to truly fulfill it. 

God’s plan surprises constantly if I allow myself to be surprised. To do this, I need the ability to hear the voice of our empathetic God, something difficult to do with all the demands on our time.  When I pause to listen attentively I can create the space for God to be with me.  The same challenges and frustrations are still there, but God is with me—and walks with me to help, guide and bear them.  And perhaps this is the biggest surprise of all!

Happy Feast Day!

Bob Leathers

Reflections for Mar. 6-12, 2023

March 6, 2023 - Asking for Forgiveness
A Facebook friend of mine was recently diagnosed with Esophogeal Cancer Adrinocarcinoma and had to have an emergency c-section with her 8^th child to remove the tumor larger than the baby and another tumor in her bowel tract.  Upon removing the tumor and further review, she received the tragic news of a terminal diagnosis with less than 6 months to live.  She has been quite “vocal” on Facebook asking for prayers and intentions.  As I watch her move through the stages of grief and dying, I am reminded of the stage of “seeking mercy”.  She boldly reached out to anyone she may have offended, or caused any harsh feelings in, or whomever she may have been a bad example to – she asked for their forgiveness and mercy.  Typically, when I seek forgiveness, it is for the bigger of the sins as outlined in the 10 commandments.  I was struck by her need to get into the most minuscule details of her life such as causing scandalous thoughts, being a bad example, encouraging another to sin through word or action, etc.  It made me realize that seeking mercy is necessary not just in the big things but even in the simple areas that I can rationalize away; after all I am not in control of another’s reactions or sin.   Her complete submission to God’s will during her life is an inspiration to me and I pray for her continued strength in mind, body, and soul.   May I too seek mercy in the ways Sarah has inspired me.                                                                                                      Bianca Hennager

March 7, 2023 - Being My Own Cheerleader
In reviewing today’s readings, I can relate to the Pharisees.  Who doesn’t like a little praise and validation and honor bestowed upon them from other people? In the case of the Pharisees, they thought they were doing everything right.  I struggle with this sentiment and recognize that I might react this when I am looking for validation of a job well done.  How disappointed I become when I’m not recognized in the ways or in the timeframe I had expected!  I am working on an internal dialogue that I have with myself when I reach a goal or an accomplishment.  I make it  part of my dialogue with God to turn inward versus outward.  I thank God for giving me the strength, the patience and/or the ability to complete my goals.  In becoming my own cheerleader and not looking outward for validation, I have become more content and joy filled.  To be my own cheerleader doesn’t mean everything is perfect or that I don’t like to hear words of affirmation. Those things are still great, but they are not longer expected.   I am learning to lessen the negative dialogue in my head and see the beauty of speaking kindness to myself.                                                Bianca Hennager

March 8, 2023 - In Service to Others
Recently I was talking to my oldest son, a freshman in college, as he was explaining that he was at a transitional place in his life and did not have a lot of “joy.”  Of course my mother’s heart wants only the best for him and to hear him struggling in his current phase of life was difficult.  When discussing with him what may be at the root at his lack of joy, it became increasingly obvious to me that he wasn’t doing anything to bring joy into his life.  He has a solid routine of classes, work, surface level encounters with acquaintances, and going to the gym.  All these things are great things to do to lead a structured routine life, but there wasn’t anything pulling him towards being in service to someone or something else.  Often when I am emotionally in a rut or feeling “joyless” I find that it is because I am too focused on myself, my surroundings, my life, etc.  I explained that not all of us can go far away and live a missionary life of service.  I imagine if someone can do that, they have a lot of joy amidst the trials of living in a different culture and seeing how other people in the world live.  But there are smaller ways we can be of service.
Together my son and I brainstormed some ideas on how he can be in service to others whether it is in college or within the community where he lives.  He is a great musician and basketball player. I explained he could teach guitar or coach a kids’ basketball team.   When we serve others, it helps us gain perspective and allow joy to come into our lives.  Seeing another person smile or laugh because of how we are in service to them is the best joy there is.                                                                                                                Bianca Hennager

March 9, 2023 - A Dog’s Life
A little more than a year ago we adopted a stray dog that a friend of mine found at the local landfill.  This beautiful German Shepherd puppy was almost 1 year old and had been out on her own for a while.  You could see her ribs and she had a “scrapper’s” personality.  You could tell she was used to scavenging for her food and the comfort of living indoors was not something she was used to.  I immediately connected with her, and we brought her back to our busy house.  At times this new puppy of ours was draining in her incessant need to be loved on, fed, and played with.  When working from home she became quite a distraction for me, joining zoom calls at the most inopportune time because she wanted to play ball or to give kisses.  I often had to put her outside of my room and shut the door on her.  She didn’t hide her sad face and her loud sigh as she slumped right outside my door.  Wailing would occur if the separation went on longer than she wanted. 
When I meditated on today’s gospel I was reminded of how Lazarus begged like a dog; begging for scraps and or attention; begging to be noticed really.  In contrast, I am reminded of how my puppy loves me unconditionally despite being put out or shunned when it’s inconvenient to pay attention to her.  It made me wonder how many times have I consciously or unconsciously shunned other people because it was inconvenient, or I was too busy?                                                                                                                            Bianca Hennager

March 10, 2023 - Sibling Rivalry
In a large family there is bound to be some sibling rivalry.  My two oldest sons are less than 13 months apart and are night and day in personality.  One son is highly introverted, more cerebral and has a small cluster of friends; the other son is quite social, athletic, and dramatic.  They complement each other so well and when they can work together, they can accomplish great feats.  However due to the differences in their personalities, sibling rivalry sparks at times.  One will say the other is favored and vice versa.  As a parent I can appreciate the different gifts and talents God has bestowed on my children; however, my children can turn it into a competition.  I try to intercede and explain that one sibling’s gift is not a deficit of the other – and that it is okay to have different gifts and talents.  How blessed we are that we are not all the same – life would be quite boring! 
I am reminded of sibling rivalry in the first reading today where the sons of Jacob were jealous of their brother Joseph and left him to be sold to the Ishmaelites.  The extent of their jealousy and being insecure with the gifts they had must have been extensive.  I pray for my children, that their relationship blossoms so that they can see the beauty in their differences and not feel jealousy and insecurity because of them.    Bianca Hennager

March 11, 2023 - Forgiveness
In today’s Gospel of the Prodigal Son I am reminded of God’s unceasing mercy and unconditional love despite my actions.  When I am truly repentant much like the younger son, God welcomes me back into his arms and metaphorically slaughters the fattened calf to celebrate my return.  As I look back on my years as a young adult, there were plenty of times when I was arrogant in my beliefs, thinking I would be able to do things “better”, believing the famous saying: “when I become a parent I will do things differently” mantra.  I was in my mid-twenties with small children when I had a kind of “ah-ha” moment with my mom.  I remember apologizing to her for all the grief I had caused as a strong-willed child, my arrogance in believing I was doing things “better”, and my temper.  She smiled and was quite loving in her response, recognizing that I was seeking forgiveness.  Of course, she recognized right away that I too have strong willed children and I too would one day be in the position of the Father loving my children unconditionally when their arrogance and/or temper gets in the way.  As my children become young adults, I can fully appreciate the unconditional love and joy a parent has when children come full circle recognizing and seeking that unceasing love from their parent.                                                                                                              Bianca Hennager

March 12, 2023 - Helpless
A few years ago while in Monterey, someone stole my purse right in front me while I was talking to another individual.  I remember hearing the car alarm sound, visually seeing the car, and not thinking much of it.  Towards the end of the day when we were packing up, I couldn’t find my purse.  I panicked and was sure it was stolen.  My heart sank and I felt so helpless in that moment.  I had no money for gas or food.  How was I to get home?  How was I to handle all the responsibilities of getting a new driver’s license, contacting credit card companies, etc.  It seemed so overwhelming and there was my son looking to me for guidance; I was lost.  I remember saying to the lead organizer, “How am I to get home?  I feel so helpless.”  Without even giving it a second thought, he took out his wallet and gave me $100.  I was shocked and relieved as now I could focus on getting myself and my son home safely.  The other items and responsibilities could wait for another day. 
In retrospect, I now see God working so often through others and in nature when I feel helpless.  Lord, I pray that when I feel helpless, I remember to look to you and know you are there. There is no need to feel helpless as you have sustained me yesterday, today, and will sustain me in the future.                                        Bianca Hennager

Reflections for Feb. 27-March 5, 2023
February 27, 2023 - The 40 Day Challenge
There is a reoccurring theme throughout scripture that is hard to miss the more you read the bible. It is marked by the number 40, that signifies a time of challenge and hardship, followed by transformation. The example that immediately comes to mind is Jesus’ time in the dessert before he started his public ministry. During this time he was hungry, isolated, and tempted by the devil. Jesus knew that he was going to suffer and ultimately die and the human nature in him caused fear, doubt, and temptations that he knew he must face. The faith traditions he grew up in had stories of great men and prophets that had experienced these 40 days of challenges and preparation.  And he knew that he must experience these things on his own.
This is what Lent is signaling for me to do every year in the context of our culture and challenges. During the 40 days, I am asked to reflect on what separates me from God. I can do this by abstaining from things that may be problematic in my life; maybe social media, alcohol, shopping, or any number of things that take me away from my faith and Him. But I can act against these things through service, penance, prayer, empathy, and compassion for others. By the end of the 40-day journey I can celebrate the resurrection, transformation and be fully ready for God in my life.
Jen Payan

February 28, 2023 - Heaven
Recently a nurse friend of mine shared a sweet interaction that she had with her young daughter. She had arrived home after a difficult day at work in which one of her patients, a very sick infant, had passed away. She was sad but was open with her daughter, explaining that her tiny patient had died, trying to explain that very tragic things happen, but that she takes comfort knowing that the infant was with God now and no longer suffering. Her daughter contemplated this for a moment and said, “I bet Grandma is going to love holding that little baby and taking care of her in heaven.” My friend’s heart burst with the thought of her mother in law, who had passed a few years back, snuggling and enjoying the beautiful newborn. Her daughter brought her much comfort with this thought and also reminded her of what eternal life with Christ offers us. Heaven is where we are with our God and there is no pain or suffering, only peace, comfort and joy. This is something that children seem to have no problem understanding, thank goodness they are around to remind us!
Jen Payan

March 1, 2023 - Your Happy Place
Have you thought recently about where your happy place is? I know when my children were small the answer was simply the bathroom where I could get a solid 5 minutes to myself! On a more serious note, asking that question really helps me reflect on what brings true contentment. A happy place can be a location or an activity. For example, if you said the beach, why? Is it the sun, the sound of the waves, children’s laughter, or just a break from daily routines that bring you peace and happiness? Maybe it is your kitchen where you enjoy cooking. Are you enjoying the smell and tastes of the food or providing a nice treat for those around you? Is it the gym, fishing on a lake, sitting in a coffee shop reading a book, walking with a friend?
 
We each have individual needs, interests, and things that bring us joy. I think it is important to reflect on this. The outside influences of the world often try to tell us what our happy place should be, for example, expensive vacations and material goods. But when I reflect on my true happy place I often find it simple, involving my own gifts, interests and the special people in my life. God’s gift to me is that “happy place.”
Jen Payan

March 2, 2023 - Waiting in Anticipation
Over the holiday I found myself in the baggage claim at the airport  waiting for my college daughter to arrive. My eyes were glued to the escalator looking for her familiar smile, wearing her favorite travel sweatpants, college hoodie, and backpack. Since it was the holiday season, I noticed many others waiting for their loved ones in anticipation. There was a man with two little girls holding flowers and there was a group of teens with their moms’ holding signs with messages and hearts drawn on them. There was a man with a cowboy hat in muddy boots and a middle-aged couple holding a fuzzy pink baby blanket. I started trying to picture who each group was anticipating. Since my daughter was delayed after the landing, I was able to witness each reunion. They welcomed their mom, cousin, son and grandbaby with hugs and such joy! It was so fun to watch.

Isn’t this how God must feel waiting for us? Especially when we have been away for a while? For those of us who may think we have been away too long or may not be worthy of his love, I’m reminded of those reunions I witnessed that evening. I know my heart burst with joy when I finally spotted her coming down the escalator. I’m sure God will have a similar response to our return!
Jen Payan

March 3, 2023 - Out of Gas
My legs and arms were shaking, and sweat was dripping into a pool underneath me. That’s it, I thought, I’m done, I can’t hang on any longer, I’m out of gas. Then I heard voices of encouragement around me. “you got this Jen” and “you are looking strong!” My gym buddies surrounded me. Really, I look strong? Maybe I can hold on a little longer. I ended up accomplishing more that I ever thought I could with the support of some very special people.

How many times have you run out of gas, whether it was physically, spiritually, or mentally? You simply lose the energy to keep moving forward. Then someone comes along, lifts you up and helps you find your own strength. I need to treasure those who provide that support in my life and reflect on how I can play that role in others’ lives as well. It is one of the greatest gifts we can give each other and a direct reflection of what our God does for us every day.
Jen Payan

March 4, 2023 - Right Place Right Time
Many years ago, I walked my daughter to a neighbor’s house for a play date. We arrived at a chaotic scene. Her friend’s grandfather waved us in quickly and said they needed help. Her mother held the little 4-year-old brother on the couch.  He was limp, dusky colored, and not breathing. The mother was paralyzed with fear and didn’t know what to do. I quickly took the little boy, laid him on the floor and opened his airway. He took a few shallow breathes while I checked his pulse. I reassured mom and grandpa that he was starting to breathe again and had a good heart rate. By the time the ambulance arrived, his color had improved and he was starting to wake up.  We assumed it was a seizure. They accompanied him to the hospital while I watched the shaken little girls.

The following day the family showed up on my doorstep with an angel necklace to thank me. I was very touched. I hadn’t saved his life; I just had provided comfort and reassurance during a very scary event.  Not only had God put me in the right place at the right time, but he also knew how my strengths were going to help that family. I try to remember this when people come into my life during difficult times. They have been chosen by God, who knows the gifts and talents they possess that will help me. He will always send an “angel” at the right time to support me.
Jen Payan

March 5, 2023 - God’s Choice
When we were in the market for a new home for our growing family, we had so much coming at us. We were searching for the house, neighborhood, and schools that my children would be growing up in. It was overwhelming, I prayed we would find the perfect fit.  After many offers, we were finally able to go into contract with a home I fell in love with. I was even measuring rooms for furniture when something went wrong, and the contract was cancelled. I prayed for resolution to the problem so we could have that home, but it never happened.

Shortly after that, a home came on the market that fit all our needs. Our offer was accepted, and the transaction went smoothly. On move in day we were greeted by friendly neighbors that became close friends. Our kids played in the cul-de-sac while we had impromptu potluck dinners on our front lawn. We shared childcare and carpools.  Our neighborhood was our little “village” for the next 15 years as our children grew. It was the perfect fit.

I believe God chose that neighborhood for us. I’ve taken this experience with me. Now when things seem not to be going my way or my family faces disappointments, I truly believe in putting it in God’s hands. I try to pray not for what I want but for what God thinks is best for me. He always gets it right.
Jen Payan

Reflections for Feb. 20-26, 2023

February 20, 2022 - Lent:  from Feast to Fast
We are about to embark on a spiritual journey that prepares us for the greatest of all Christian celebrations: Easter.  I remember from the days of my childhood the tenets of Lent.  You had to give up something that meant something to you such as no-meat Fridays, no movies, no celebrations, etc. In short, it was a time to abstain from all things fun and tasty. Also, there were ashes on your forehead, confessions, and purple cloth covering every statue in church.  It was later in life that I learned of the significance of these rituals and the deeper meaning behind them.  And it was years before I immersed myself in the true spirit of what Lent was all about.  Of course, repentance was the most important part, but it was also a time of looking forward.  It was a time of really listening to, and putting into practice the teachings of our religion.  Lent, to me, is a time of great personal awakening and inner conversions of the heart.  Instead of giving something up, Lent, became a time of giving of yourself to help others.  Instead of walking around in sackcloth and ashes, you became a beacon of light, helping others by your actions.  And internally, you dove into renewing our baptismal commitment and bringing yourself closer to God.
Lent marks the beginnings of Jesus’ ministry.  40 Days in the desert, resistance to the temptations of the devil, and embarkation on a ministry that would change the world, and culminate in an Easter that would put a conclusion to the old, and fulfillment in the new.
Don Eagle

February 21, 2022 - Shrove Tuesday — Mardi Gras
Shrove Tuesday. Mardi Gras. Carnival.  All words associated with the beginnings of Lent.  Shrove Tuesday is from the old English term “shrive,” which means to hear one’s confession and declare freedom from sin.  It was a term that was the kickoff to Lent, and became known as Shrove Tuesday, or the day before Ash Wednesday— a day of atonement.   Mardi Gras (French) or “Fat Tuesday” referred to the culmination of feasting before the fast, abstinence and penitence of Lent.  Carnival (Latin— from the word carnivore) ) was the putting away of flesh (eating meat) as part of an annual celebration involving parades, music, and festivity. Ash Wednesday became a sign of the whole church putting itself through penance as symbolized by the placing of ashes upon the head, an Old Testament sign of grief and mourning.  It marks the beginning of the Lenten season, 40 days dedicated to reflection, prayer and fasting ahead of Easter.
I liken the soul to a tree in autumn. I think of Lent as turning over a new leaf each day during the 40 days prior to Easter. I have often thought of a tree of such leaves —purple on one side, white on the other, and of turning over one leaf each day during Lent.
“As each of the days of lent unfolds towards the promise of Easter, we are challenged to turn over a new leaf in our lives through positive Christian actions.  And as our leaves are turned each day, we carry out the commandment to love one another. So at Easter, our souls, as well as our tree, will welcome the Resurrection clothed in dazzling white.”
Don Eagle

February 22, 2022 – Ash Wednesday
I have two favorite poems:  the first, by Christina Rosetti, gives a beautiful description of the wind,  which to me, is interchangeable with a description of the Holy Spirit.
            “Who has seen the wind?
            Neither you nor I.
            But when the trees bow down their heads,
            The wind is passing by.”
            
The second, by David Melton, speaks to a generational love between parent and child.           
            “Take my hand, my child
            and we will explore the land.
            I will tell you all that I know
            and you will show me the secrets of the heart.
            It may not be a fair exchange,
            but it Is all that I have to give.”

As we embark upon the 40 days of Lent, I am reminded of Jesus’ 40 days in the desert prior to his ministry, the wanderings of the Israelites for 40 years before the arrival at the promised land, and the 40 days that Jonah spent  among the Ninevites speaking repentance.  Our church today invites us to fast, to abstain, to turn over a new leaf in anticipation of Easter, and the promise of redemption and eternal life.  I have been through many, many Lenten seasons (I won’t say HOW many), and early on gave up candy and movies in order to make some sacrifice regarding Lent.  Today, I find it in my heart not so much to give up, as to get up and perform positive acts. Get up and embrace the Holy Spirit, and proclaim acts of kindness, grace, mercy and humility.
Don Eagle

February 23, 2022 - Modern Day Saints
Somehow I think that the feast of All Saints is misplaced.  From the obscure placement on our church calendar in November, I think it might be beneficial to honor those saints during Lent.  In professing their faith, many of them died as martyrs.  In performing outstanding service to the tenets of our faith, they served humanity.  Lent is a time of spiritual reflection.
According to the Delaney Dictionary of Saints there are approximately five thousand such men, women and children who have — in the eyes of the church — become holy.  Whether it is St. Francis of Assisi, St. Teresa of Avila, or St. Teresa of Calcutta there are saints who have become recognized as patrons of every sport, job, or even country. The pages of history spell out the lives of ordinary people who have given of themselves in order to live out their faith to help their fellow creatures.
To me, there ought to be a connection between Lent and the examples of the saints. For it is in study that we learn of faith.  And who better to explain faith than a Saint?  What better time to immerse  oneself in the lives of practitioners of the faith?  Who better to follow the example of holy actions than someone who has done exactly that?
I think I’ll find me a nice quiet place and each day examine the lives of a few saints and see how these normal people professed their faith.  It should be a nice adjunct to fasting and abstinence.
Hmmm. Perhaps I’ll start with Brendan, Patron Saint of sailors.
Don Eagle


February 24, 2022 - Benedict XVI
At the end of 2022, we lost  Pope Benedict the Sixteenth.  To Catholics everywhere, the passing of Benedict the sixteenth was expected yet sad.  Before becoming Pope in 2005, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany rose through  Vatican offices to become a trusted right-hand of Pope John Paul II, and was considered to be a conservative.  His mission was to keep the church on goal with basic teachings.  His shyness and subsequent pastoral visits limited him to few travels, Yet he was a popular pontiff.  His greatest contribution was his magisterium (teaching authority of the Church.) His catechesis, encyclicals on central aspects of the faith and biographies on Jesus of Nazareth were exceptional.   He handled his office skillfully, but as he grew older he summoned the courage to retire, an action that was unheard of for over 600 years.  Benedict realized the need for a younger Pope who could handle the many and complicated issues facing the modern world.  As he retired he took the title of Pope Emeritus and lived within the Vatican.  He was highly intellectual, and authored several books. His funeral drew some fifty thousand people, and, with the tools of modern communication we were able to witness his burial in the vaults beneath St. Peter’s.  It was a solemn and fitting closure to his reign.  His intellect and influence shall continue to be felt as he will likely be remembered as one of history’s great popes. 

Though this reflection is not about a personal spiritual reflection, it is in my heart to salute a great Pope with the words “Requescat in Pace”
Don Eagle

February 25, 2022. - Walking the Walk
A few weeks ago my wife and I attended the Parish Mission.  There were certainly a lot of take-aways from the talks given by Fr. Brendan, but one term kept coming back to me, and that was “pivot point.”  I believe that all of us have multiple pivot points in our lives, most of them occurring in our adulthood.  Marriage, jobs, children, school, extraordinary epiphanies, and on and on.  These pivot points indicate a change in direction.  Many of our parishioners have experienced their own personal pivot points in the epiphanies experienced through the Cursillo movement.  Others have had their own pivot points through programs, experiences, and ministries offered through SS. Peter & Paul.  A particular pivot point for me was the Cursillo.  It made me aware of walking with Christ in the company of similarly-minded men and women looking for spiritual awakening and direction.  For them and for me, this pivot point became a life changer, or as most Cursillistas put it “and nothing was ever the same.” The experience was at once profound and awakening. The same can be said about other ministries as well.  For it is in helping others, study, involvement through action, and a deeper understanding of our faith that we indeed begin the walk with Christ. 
Don Eagle

February 26, 2022 - The Start of a Grand Adventure
Seems like the seasons roll around more and more swiftly.  Just yesterday we were celebrating Christmas, then comes February and Lent.  In a mere 40 days Easter will be upon us.  Then Ascension, then Pentecost then Advent and voila — it ’s Christmas again!
The clock ticks, the days pass, and generation succeeds generation. 
For some reason I thought of my maternal grandfather.  I never met him or my paternal grandfather either, for that matter.  The former passed away when I was one.  The latter died before I was born.  My maternal grandfather was full blooded Irish and he left a religious legacy that has continued to this day.  I felt his spirituality  and his religious commitment though I never met him.  He was an influencer that left me feeling that I knew him.  He was always there — in our prayers, in our hearts, and in our minds.  He left behind a sense of spiritual guidance for his family, a closeness to his faith.
He left behind two things which I have today:  His pocket watch and a two volume set on the Manual of the Roman Catholic Church, circa 1906.  The books are especially interesting because you can see the differences between pre and the post Vatican II.  The front page of volume one contains his signature —beautifully written in ink — when people knew how to write in script.  Once in a while I’ll return to that front page  just to remind me of my heritage, and the grandpa that was so influential in my own religious education.
Don Eagle

Reflections for Feb. 13-19, 2023
February 13, 2023 - Are You the One?
          I wondered recently how I would answer the disciples of John the Baptist who go to Jesus and ask,” Are you the one who is to come, or should we look for another?”    Jesus’ answer is Matthew 11:2-11.  “Go and tell John what you hear and see:  the blind regain their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them.”   I have wondered what I would say now in 2023 about whether Jesus was the one who was to come.  When I write a reflection about my life and something I have done or experienced I write because I believe that somewhere in those experiences Jesus has been present. 
          In my life you will not find the deaf hearing or the blind seeing, or lepers cleansed.  You may find an auto accident avoided, a medical problem stabilized, or an infant and mother brought safely from danger.  You might find a newly minted Catholic slightly more confident in their faith or simply a non-believer better informed.  The message Jesus gave to John’s disciples is the same message I must deliver when anyone comes and asks if Jesus is the one.    There is nothing more genuine, nothing more transformative, nothing more powerful than our own experience of God.  Begin by asking yourself as I have, “Where do I most experience God?  In what circumstance do I feel the undeniable presence of our Lord.  
Ray Frink

February 14, 2023 - His Voice
I wish I could have heard Jesus’ voice.  It is part of Jesuit spiritual tradition, when reflecting on scripture, to place oneself in the scene described.  I might be a disciple, a Jewish bystander or the person being healed, even a dispassionate Roman observer.  The goal is to fully appreciate how I might feel or react in the circumstances of Jesus life and respond to His teachings.  If I were there, if I heard Jesus’ voice, how might my life have been transformed? 
          When I think about the New Testament passages I have heard, I hear in my mind the voice of Fr. McCauley from the UCLA Newman Center.  I hear the gentle Irish lilt of Fr. Dillion, the warmth of Fr. Bony and Deacons David and Bob; the energy and insights of Fr. Mike Ritter and the expository sermons of Bishop Barron.  I hear the priests, brothers, and lay voices on the Laudate app.  When I reflect on the New Testament, I hear Erin, Janet, Cass, Mike, Rosa, Jeff, Shelley, and all the other lectors, past and present, of the 5 o’clock Sunday Mass.  In today’s media world, I hear the portrayal of Jesus by Jonathan Roumie in the recreation of Jesus‘ life, ‘The Chosen’. 
          These many voices have placed me in the scene with Jesus.  Each voice, with its unique qualities, is a different path to hearing the transformative words of Jesus’ life.  I wish I could have heard Jesus’ voice.  Perhaps I already have. Thank you.
Ray Frink

February 15, 2023 - Touch
I wondered recently how I would answer the disciples of John the Baptist who go to Jesus and ask,” Are you the one who is to come, or should we look for another?”    Jesus’ answer is Matthew 11:2-11.  “Go and tell John what you hear and see:  the blind regain their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them.”   I have wondered what I would say now in 2023 about whether Jesus was the one who was to come.  When I write a reflection about my life and something I have done or experienced I write because I believe that somewhere in those experiences Jesus has been present. 
          In my life you will not find the deaf hearing or the blind seeing, or lepers cleansed.  You may find an auto accident avoided, a medical problem stabilized, or an infant and mother brought safely from danger.  You might find a newly minted Catholic slightly more confident in their faith or simply a non-believer better informed.  The message Jesus gave to John’s disciples is the same message I must deliver when anyone comes and asks if Jesus is the one.    There is nothing more genuine, nothing more transformative, nothing more powerful than our own experience of God.  Begin by asking yourself as I have, “Where do I most experience God?  In what circumstance do I feel the undeniable presence of our Lord.  
Ray Frink

February 16, 2023 - 51%
          My wife and I have been blessed with a quality marriage for 43 years.  We reflected on this and realized that when we have disagreements, we both begin with the assumption that the other person might be right.  We did this instinctively at first and now do so intentionally.    We begin with trying to understand the others position and move from there.  I call this the 51% approach.  At the start, the other person is 51% correct.  The outcome is usually the best solution.  This approach relies on holding the others and the family’s best interest over our own.  Our solution is most often a combination of both ideas.  This is not compromise where each loses something.  It is the win-win solution.
          This idea of putting the other first and considering their position can be and has been criticized both on a personal and public level as a sign of weakness.  If I believe in my position, why should I grant the ‘opposition’ any footing?  The popular assumption is that I must prove the other wrong.  I have to win my point.  I must soundly defeat the other. 
          My wife and I both view our lives from a position of strength.  We are and have for all time been loved by God.  We are His Beloved.  When I am loved for who I am, with mercy, forgiveness, and grace as God loves me, then I surrender nothing in the 51% approach and I grow stronger as a member of the Body of Christ.
Ray Frink

February 17, 2023 - Outsized Hearts
            My two sons’ lives, though stable and rewarding now, have had rocky paths with bumps and stumbles.  There are choices they have made where I may have chosen differently.  They do not practice their faith in the same way I do. I hope and know that they turn to prayer and the sacraments during some of their darkest times.  I pray, as any parent does, that they will recognize that the grace of God is always there, Jesus is always beside them and the Holy Spirit is in their lives at all times.  Being one of their parents, I naturally wonder if I could have helped raise them differently and presumably “better”.
          One aspect about which I do not wonder is what I call their “outsized hearts”.  This is a comment on them as persons. They are kind, generous, and compassionate.  They have a strong sense of mercy and justice.  They have taken the time, given the opportunity, to hear the gospel of Jesus to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give drink to the thirsty, and shelter the homeless.  This may take the form of defending a friend from a bully, protecting the inebriated from harm, housing the rejected, or just being good listeners. These events tell me they are listening to their hearts.  Jesus gave them the commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself”.  When asked, “Who is my neighbor?”  Jesus’ answer was “everyone”.   My sons have heard this and I am proud. 
Ray Frink

February 18, 2023 - Hope
We pray each Sunday in the Creed, “I believe in one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church”.  That is a tall order given the condition of the world and the Church today.  I need some hope. 
I am a cradle Catholic.  I was born into a Catholic family, baptized as an infant, and received the sacraments of initiation as a child.  I have been taught by and/or worked with nuns and priests from 1^st grade through graduate school.  I am also trained as a scientist, having had two careers that involved rational, logical thinking, powered by observation, data collection, conclusions, and testing.
So where do I find hope?  I was influenced in my religious education by a French priest who lived from 1881 to 1955, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.  Teilhard was a paleontologist, geologist, and theologian.  Those who influenced his writing were Paul the Apostle and Ignatius of Loyola.  He wanted to bring science and faith together for all of God’s children.  He was controversial during his life and after. He is now embraced by the Church and quoted by Popes Benedict and Francis in their writings. He wrote that man is evolving spiritually and socially toward a more Christ like state.  His writing gives me hope that not only can we all strive along this path, but also that the natural movement of our world, despite what we see, is to move toward Christ.  Teilhard said:  You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience.
Ray Frink

February 19, 2023 - Who Knows?
          I have mentioned previously that the vows we used at our wedding were quoted from the Book of Ruth.  This book is rich in expressions of devotion, caring, mercy, and love.  You also know that as an OB/Gyn, I was involved in many births.  I have no knowledge of who those infants became.  I always prayed that if I gave them a good start from birth, that somehow, I helped them begin a good life. 
          In the Book of Ruth, we learn that Ruth the Moabite left her family and people and followed her mother-in-law to the land of the Hebrews. She expected to be treated as an outsider.  In contrast to her expectations, her devotion and caring brought the notice of Boaz and with it, mercy and love.  She married Boaz and they had a son, Obed who was the grandfather of King David. 
          Who knew that the devotion and caring of Ruth would ultimately bring about the birth of the King David?   Who knew that the long line of descendants of King David would be the one God chose to reveal His divine son and our savior?
          On the worst days as a physician and scientist, besides the sustaining love I have received throughout my life, one thought has helped keep me going.  That thought was simply: Who knows what good will come of an apparently insignificant act of service or goodness that I commit today?  God knows and someday He may reveal it to me.
Ray Frink




Reflections for Feb. 6-12, 2023

February 6, 2023 - Answering God’s Call: Everyone has Gifts
I wonder how often we are prevented from doing something because we doubt our own gifts... I listen to an invitation to serve or a call for help and assume someone else is better suited, more skilled, or someone else will step up. Seldom do I think, this is God calling me. Or, my community needs me, or “speak Lord your servant is listening.” I wonder what our community would be like if we all listened more carefully to God’s call.

I think I tend to think about charisms and gifts from God too narrowly. Perhaps we all think they are reserved for a special set of people—saints, but not us. I wonder if one of the greatest sins is the denial of living out who we are created to be, God's presence in me. I also think sometimes I fail to understand that God uses community, more than individuals, to do God's work. It is not about what I can do alone, but what we can do together. I do not need to save the world alone, but I do need to participate in my small piece of ushering in the Kingdom! May we listen carefully, like Samuel, to the voice of God calling us to discipleship and respond like he did, “Here I am Lord, your servant is listening.”
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

February 7, 2023 - Answering God’s Call: Excuses We Make
I have thousands of them! They range from “I really don't have time” to “I'm not sure I agree with the philosophy of that group...” They also expose my insecurities, “I don't have that skill set” (although I've always been interested in learning about X). I am a master of excuses. “I have so many other commitments, where would I find the time?”  I realize for myself, that it takes a concerted effort to evaluate my priorities. It’s not about what I say no to, it’s about being clear about what I say yes to.  My yeses should reflect who I truly am and reflect my deepest values—my faith. I try to do a review once a year—to look at where I'm spending my time, talent and treasure, and to ask myself, does it reflect my sense of my authentic self? In other words, does it reflect my understanding of what I believe God has gifted me to do? Is it in alignment with serving the Kingdom of God?  Am I being the creation I have the potential to be?  When I am clear about what I say yes to, I don’t need excuses.  My life feels centered and in flow with God’s work in me and in the world. I am comfortable with what is mine to do, and I trust that others will also answer God’s call in them so all our small efforts will play a significant role in building up our parish community and influencing the world for the better. 
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

February 8, 2023 - Answering God’s Call: Living Faith as Prayer and Action
Over the years I have really valued how Richard Rohr describes the foundation of his work at the Center for Action and Contemplation. Paraphrased, he says we need both prayer/contemplative practice and compassionate action for the spiritual journey. “Without action, our spirituality becomes lifeless and bears no authentic fruit. Without contemplation, all our doing comes from ego, even if it looks selfless, and it can cause more harm than good.” I find that my spiritual life and my prayer open me to God’s transforming work in me, and it is in the world that I express God’s love and transforming power through action and service.  The service, in turn, challenges me to deepening prayer.
As we focus as a parish on our individual calls to service in ministry, I ask myself where is there need in our faith community?  How do our parish ministries serve the larger community with it’s needs? What is mine to do? Another quote I love says, “Beware the faith that does not trouble the world.” Jesus challenges me to consider, how do I participate in service to God’s people, God’s creation, God’s transforming work in the world?  What is God calling me to do, and what ministries can I explore and commit to in the weeks and months to come?   What stirs my heart to action? 
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio
 
February 9, 2023 - Answering God’s Call:  Who me?
I love the stories of Jesus calling his disciples or the scriptures about God calling the prophets.  Those who are called are such a scruffy bunch—fishermen, shepherds, salt of the earth types; some are adulterers, tax collectors who work for the Roman Empire, or traitors who persecute the early Christians... not at all my image of “faithful and holy.” They are an unworthy and uninspiring bunch.  Yay!  I can relate to them… And more importantly, God doesn’t seem to judge and choose by my standards.
Flannery O’Connor has a beautiful story called Revelation In which the protagonist, Mrs. Turpin, a very self-righteous Christian, has a dream of heaven. In her dream, it is the sinner, the broken, the ugly, the lost, that make up a makeshift band of people singing off key as they march through the pearly gates and enter heaven. At the back of the line are the righteous, well-dressed Christians singing on key. What great imagery of God's unconditional love for all of us! When I reflect on this story, I think, who am I to not answer the call to serve in my unworthiness? What could be more grace-filled?  Who me?  YES, YOU!

February 10, 2023 - Answering God’s Call:  Living as a Parish Family
One of the many things that drew my husband and me to Saints Peter and Paul was seeing the involvement of so many parishioners in various ministries.  It has been my experience that this is one of the best indicators of a vibrant, faith-filled parish.  Some of the ways Vince and I have discerned how to be involved in parish life include asking ourselves, how might our unique skills and experiences be helpful to this parish community?  I’ve found it equally important to ask myself, what will bring me joy?  Where might I learn something new? How might God be inviting me to grow?  Who should I get to know better to appreciate the rich diversity of our family—a different age group, a ministry to a particular life-stage or need, or a particular social issue? Where am I being invited to expand my understanding and compassion for my neighbor?  In spiritual direction there is a tool I sometimes use that invites people to make a life map—a simple review of key areas of life. We can look at balance and find areas where we have not had the ability or commitment to spend time developing particular parts of our lives.  For example, what might I want to do to enrich my spiritual life? Or my commitment to serve my community? Do I feel the need to build relationships with people who support my faith? Where is my life out of balance? Are there commitments that take a lot of my time but don’t produce fruit?  
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

February 11, 2023 - Answering God’s Call:  God Doesn’t Pigeon Hole Us
I think sometimes we get stuck in a rut in our parish ministry. We participate in a particular ministry for years, which is great, but we start to equate our identity with that ministry. Sometimes we relate so much with a particular ministry that it begins to look like ownership.  A ministry can start to look like it belongs to a particular person or small group, and others are not welcome. We can also create our own barriers to participation by thinking a ministry belongs to others, and we are not needed or welcome.  This doesn’t serve the ministry or our own spiritual growth. 
Ministries grow and thrive when we have both long-term, committed individuals and new blood with new perspectives and ideas. Like Pope Francis’s call for us to be a synodal Church, it reminds me to trust that the Holy Spirit guides our discernment and our work.  When I discern my call to service through prayer, I am often surprised by what surfaces as an invitation.  God is constantly calling me to grow and explore talents and passions I didn’t know I had. God also invites me to loosen my grip when I start to feel too much ownership in a ministry, and I forget who is in charge. 
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio
 
February 12, 2023 - Answering God’s Call: Who is My Neighbor?
We all know the parable about the Good Samaritan.  For me, the moral of that story was that it is the person who takes action and cares for the victim who does God's will. While of course that is true, I've also come to ponder Jesus's choice of characters in the parable and wonder what else he might have meant.  Jim Wallis wrote about this as well, and he points out that Samaritans were not “good” as far as the Judeans were concerned. They were despised foreigners, and nobody liked them. By making the Samaritan the hero in the parable, Jesus chooses the hated “other” as his example of who our neighbor is. Jesus’s parable of the Good Samaritan was meant not just to call people to service and self-sacrifice, but also to disrupt and challenge their concept of who their neighbors were and were not.  Jesus challenges me with my sense of us and them. The test of who is my neighbor is about getting outside of my clubs and listening to the lives of the ones whose experiences may have been very different from mine, who Jesus defines as my neighbor. As we look at service as a parish, who is the neighbor in the world whom we have despised or passed by?  Who needs to be welcomed into our ministries and our lives as God’s beloved?
 Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

Reflections for Jan. 30- Feb. 5, 2023

January 30, 2023 - Catholic Schools Week
This week, students across the nation in Catholic schools are celebrating Catholic Schools Week, a 49-year tradition in the United States. My four years in Catholic high school were fundamental in my personal development, as it was there that I learned to recognize my dignity as a woman made in the image of God, and I was formed in social justice. It was in Catholic high school where I developed my love for spiritual formation and my passion for participating in the liturgy. I was unfamiliar with Catholic elementary school before my daughters attended, but we are happy with how faith and education have been integrated into one experience.
Catholic school is not the path for everyone—not even all Catholics—but this week, let us celebrate the Catholic schools across the country for the faith-filled education they are providing to students of all ages, races, and religious backgrounds. Let us pray that Catholic education will remain a part of our education system and that it will be accessible to all those who wish to attend.                                             
Erin Gallawa

January 31, 2023 - Pages of God’s Word 
I walked by a man with his newspaper laid out on the table before him and it occurred to me that I rarely see anyone reading a physical newspaper anymore. There was something very nostalgic about seeing him sit there with his paper. In 2023 everything is digital. We read the news, books, assembly instructions—everything!—on a digital device! Many people even skip the reading part and instead get their information in the form of video or podcast.
In the last few years there has been a lot of excitement over Fr. Mike Schmidt’s Bible in a Year podcast. I think it is a wonderful resource that brings the Bible to all people. There are all sorts of Catholic podcasts and apps and Instagram accounts! There are so many ways that we can stay connected to our faith. But when I saw the man reading the newspaper, I immediately thought of the Bible. When is the last time I pulled out a physical copy to read, instead of just going to the Catholic Bishops website to read the digital copy?
Our faith is founded on Scripture and Tradition—both are rooted in being physically present in the Mass and touching the pages of God’s word. May I find a way to always come back to the source!                   
Erin Gallawa

February 1, 2023 - Raising God’s Children 
I do not like to fly. It makes me anxious and I am never at peace until we have safely landed at our destination. On a recent trip to Southern California, my daughter Grace took my hand without prompting and silently held on during takeoff and landing. When I asked her about it later, she said she knew those were the parts I was most scared of. What a beautiful moment to have her notice and respond with tender love.
There is something amazing about watching your children grow into themselves. As much as parents try to teach compassion and kindness, we can’t guarantee how our children will turn out. I think of God who sent us his only Son to teach us the greatest lessons about love and sacrifice, how He must hope that we will choose to follow in his path. But even God does not control what path his children will take. I like to think that when he sees us acting in a Christ-like way, that He too rejoices!                                     
Erin Gallawa

February 2, 2023 - On Like a Light
I was recently struck when I heard the common idiom “out like a light.” While I understand it references the contrast between light and darkness, on and off, when I think about it, it feels like it should actually be “on like a light.” For is it still a light when it is off?  When I think of light I think of Christ, and I do not think of Christ as ever being off. Christ is always on, always shining, always bright. Even when Jesus’ body lay in the tomb, his light was still shining from beyond the grave. The nature of light is that it makes things visible, so how can it be called light when it is turned off? Let us be on like a light, shining brightly for all to see!                                                                                                                                                             
Erin Gallawa

February 3, 2023 - The Silence of the Wind  
In the last few weeks we have witnessed so many storms. As we sat inside our home I could hear the whistling of wind through the cracks in the doors, the rustle of the trees outside, the whipping of branches hitting the house. Wind is nothing but the movement of air, but for something I cannot see or touch, wind is a pretty powerful force! After many noisy nights, I woke up in darkness one night stunned by the silence that was left in the place where the wind had once been. I wonder if this is how it felt to the disciples of Christ when he left this earth. Although he did not come as the warrior king that the Jews expected, he moved strongly about this earth making an impact wherever he went. And then suddenly he was gone, leaving a silence in his place. But just because he was gone did not mean he no longer existed. Just because he could not be heard like the wind did not mean that his presence was gone. The air still surrounds us, even when it moves in quiet and subtle ways.                                          
Erin Gallawa

February 4, 2023 - Windshield Wipers
There is such a satisfaction in windshield wipers. Obviously we need them from a safety perspective as they make it safe to drive. But I also love watching them for their rhythm and the simplicity of wiping away a blurred surface for a moment of clarity. When I am driving in heavy rain, I am often frustrated by how quickly the windshield becomes blurred, and then the wipers swipe across the glass for momentary relief.
I’ve met many people who don’t believe you need Church for a relationship with God. While it’s true that we do not need the Church to start a relationship with God, I believe we do need Mass and prayer and our community to keep that relationship in focus. I think of the windshield as my relationship with God and the rain as daily life. As I make my way through each day, the windshield becomes clouded by all the tasks, people and challenges that I encounter. When I attend Mass, engage with my community and pray, my blurry windshield is wiped clean and my relationship with God is suddenly clearer.         
Erin Gallawa

February 5, 2023 - Wet Rocks 
If you’ve ever walked near water or been outside after it rains, you’ve may have looked down to see a gorgeous, colorful rock. Perhaps you put the rock in your pocket or carried it around for a while, only to find later when it dried that it looked just like every other gray rock. I can’t tell you how many rocks I’ve picked up, only to discover later that it wasn’t what I remembered.
Wet rocks remind me a bit of being Catholic. After joyful seasons like Christmas or Easter, after transformational Sacraments, or after a particularly powerful Mass, I feel like the shiny beautiful rock. Perhaps others even see me that way from the outside! But as I move through daily life, I find that that shine starts to fade and maybe the brightness starts to dull. I am blessed that our Church invites us to keep polishing our rocks so that we can keep the shine! Through the movement of the calendar, the commitment to Mass, and participation in the Sacraments, I am always invited to be renewed and to find my beauty again. The rock doesn’t really change—it’s colors and patterns are always there, waiting to be restored.                                                                                                                                                              
Erin Gallawa

Reflections for Jan. 23-29, 2023

January 23, 20231- Details
Back in November our whole family, all 16 of us, went to Disneyland. No matter how many times I have been there the place never ceases to amaze me. You don’t feel like you are in an amusement park but in a completely different world. Disney creates such imagery that even the lines are tolerable because you have so much to look at. In the new Star Wars ride, I felt like I was actually in the movie. It made me reflect on our Catholic faith and how detailed it is. Going to Mass is also an experience for our senses. Hearing the scriptures and the songs reinforces the message being given. Praying the Our Father, the Creed, and singing the Psalms connects us all over the world to one another. Seeing the Stained glass, the Stations of the Cross, the way the church is decorated to match the meaning of the liturgical season helps to expand our understand of our faith. Smelling the incense, oils, flowers, and plants that are used during Easter and Christmas is special
Masses bring our worship to a visceral level. Feeling the touch of ourselves in making the sign of the cross or others at the sign of peace when we can have that human connection to one another. And tasting the body of Christ in the wafer and Blood of Christ in the wine nourishes our soul. Every aspect of myself is alive in the Mass but many times I do not notice it. But when I take the time, like I did in Disneyland, and am open to the experience, I find that I am in a different world. It is the world of God!
Kurt Peterson

January 24, 2023 - Caring
My mother-in-law is 92 and has some health issues. Recently she had to be admitted to the hospital. Because Kaiser did not have any rooms available, she was sent to Mercy San Juan. At Mercy they allow more than 1 visitor, so I was able to spend time with her there. I got to observe first-hand the nurses caring for her. I have always had a lot of respect for nurses, but I really got to experience how caring they are. I could tell that nursing isn’t just a career but a calling for them. The gentleness and compassion they not only showed her but also us was so appreciated. It is a very special job because they are helping people at their most vulnerable state. I know that it is not an easy job, and they can put in long hours and can get fatigued themselves, but I am so grateful for how they cared for my mother-in-law. For all of you who are thinking about becoming a nurse, it is one of the most needed professions out there. And for all of you that are nurses, we are blessed to have you there and what you do for our families is not unnoticed. Thank you for saying yes to this vocation and caring for the ones we love so much; you’ll never fully realize how much it means to us. You truly are Christ to others.
Kurt Peterson

January 25, 2023 - Spending time
One of the biggest social problems affecting the modern world is isolation, especially for those over 65 years of age. In the Netherlands almost 10% of the nation’s population of 17.8 million are over the age of 75. In 2019, Jumbo, a large Dutch supermarket, started a pilot program called Kletkassa (Chat Checkout). This is not a fast lane checkout, but a slow lane checkout. The purpose of the Kletkassa clerks is to spend time chatting with their customers as they ring up their groceries. For many of Jumbo’s customers, mainly the elderly, this may be their only outside contact. The program has been such a success that they have opened these slow lanes in 200 of their 700 stores and expect to have them in all 700 stores at some point. We live busy lives, and we are constantly on the move.  From time to time I remind myself to stop moving on to the next thing and take the time to interact with others. When I do, not only do they feel better, I feel better too. We always see examples of Jesus speaking to the lonely, the hurting and the outcast. However, even Jesus got caught up in the hurriedness. In Mark 5:21-45 when Jesus was moving through the crowds trying to get past them, a woman touched his cloak. When Jesus felt the energy leave him, he turned around and asked who touched his garment. The woman came up to him and falling on her knees told him her whole truth.  He listened and told her that her faith had healed her. She was changed by that encounter and left a different person. Though we will never heal someone like Jesus did, we are called to be Christ on earth and the time we spend with someone can make a difference in their lives. Lord, help me to see that spending time with others in conversation is a gift to them.
Kurt Peterson

January 26, 2023 - Innocence
My wife, Sarah, shared a story with me from when she was at Mass a week ago. During the offertory a family from the community brought up the gifts. Their young toddler attempted to climb the steps up to the altar. His father began to stop him but Father Bony told him to let the child continue. The toddler walked up the steps and stopped to look up at the Crucifix, he stared at it for a couple of seconds, then walked up just past the Altar in front of the risen Christ. His head slowly moved up starting at Jesus’ feet, over his hands and up to Christ’s face. There, the little boy stopped and just looked at Jesus’ face for about ten seconds, then turned around and came back to his parents. As the family walked back to their pew the little boy kept looking at the Risen Christ. While all this happened, everyone was quiet. Sarah said it brought tears to her eyes. Listening to Sarah I could just imagine how profound that moment was. Sometimes it takes the action of an innocent child to remind us of what our faith is all about. In the gospel of Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” This showed we are all welcomed at Mass no matter how we look or how old we are. We are so blessed to have Father Bony who welcomes children at Mass along with their noises and curiosities and he sees this not as an annoyance but a moment of learning. Lord, help me to know you and the greatness of your knowledge and still maintain the heart and spirit of a child.
Kurt Peterson

January 27, 2023 - Rain
Finally, we are getting some needed rest from the rain that has come through our area for over the last 3 weeks. The winter storms have allowed the rain to fill many of our reservoirs and the snowfall to build up our snowpack that will help us through the long dry summers where are hills turn to a golden hue. That is why we are called the Golden State. But getting too much rain or snow at once leads to flooding, failing trees, rockslides, and avalanches. These successive storms left many people without power and caused some deaths. Nature reminds us that even life-giving things like water and sun can become destructive if taken to the extreme. There are life-giving things in our own lives that can be destructive if taken to the extreme. That is why trying to strike a balance in life is important. But staying in balance does not mean that everything is equal in my life. If you have ever tried skiing or bicycling, you know your balance is achieved by managing the different tensions. Constantly adjusting is what keeps us in balance.  Dear Lord, help me to be aware when I am allowing one tension to get too great and help me adjust that tension to keep in balance.
Kurt Peterson

January 28 2023 - Wisdom from a Teddy Bear
Winne the Pooh said, “You’re braver than you believe and stronger and smarter than you think”. I underestimate my abilities all the time. I think we all doubt ourselves at times but it is human nature not to fully realize what we are capable of. But God knows what we are capable of and throughout scripture God choses ordinary common people to send his message to the world. From the prophets to the apostles, to the saints, God calls ordinary people to rise to their potential. He is calling me to my potential too. I may be thinking:  what can I do? I will try to follow the advice of Mother Theresa “Do small things with great love”. A smile, a conversation, holding the door open for someone, just being kind to one another. That is what Pooh did.
Kurt Peterson

January 29, 2023 - Simplicity
One of the greatest aspects of Jesus’ teachings from God is its simplicity. God takes all the laws and rituals and scriptures and boils it down to two commandments. Love the lord your God with all you mind, all your heart and all your soul and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself. As I strive to do this I am reminded of future rewards with the two words “blessed are”. To me the Beatitudes are the instruction book for how to live out the two great commandments. “Blessed are the poor in spirit” is to know that God owns everything I have, I am only a steward. “Blessed are the gentle” means that unrighteous anger and hatred can not be part of my relationship with others. “Blessed are those who mourn” is to be vulnerable to others. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness” means I must seek to understand God and my neighbor. “Blessed are the merciful” is for me to show the same mercy to others that Jesus showed me by dying on the cross. “Blessed are the pure in heart” means that God controls my heart and thoughts, not myself. “Blessed are the peacemakers” is not to be a push over but to help find common ground between my enemy so we can move towards a common goal. “Blessed are the persecuted” means that many will try to twist my words for their goal. And for me to understand that I will be rewarded by God not by Man. Gods message is simple but because of my human nature it is the hardest to live fully. Thank you, Jesus, for the sacrament of reconciliation that allows me to begin again when I stumble.
Kurt Peterson

Reflections for Jan.16-22, 2023

January 16, 2023 - New Wine and New Wine Skin 
“No one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the skins are ruined. Rather, new wine is poured into fresh wineskins.” (MK 2:22) This practice preserves both the wine and wineskin. The focus here is a paradigm shift from old and traditional religious practices to embracing the person of Christ. This was a new and hard message for many of Jesus’ contemporaries. Breaking the traditions was considered to be a sin.  But new wineskins expand as  fermentation takes place. So we should constantly be renewed and expanding in our faith as we receive the new message of the Word of God and deepen our relationship with Jesus. The WORD’S new messages also transform me in him, and I grow in Jesus and with Jesus, becoming refined and like good wine over time.
Bony

January 17, 2023 - The Sabbath - Lord’s Day - Celebrating life in Christ. 
“The Son of Man is lord even of the sabbath.” (Ref. MK 2-18-28) 
Jesus was confronted by his contemporaries regarding the tradition of keeping the sabbath since his disciples broke it. His answer was, "Can the wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? As long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast.” The sabbath was observed as a holy day of obligation dedicated to God. But Jesus gives a new meaning to it. 

The Catholic tradition keeps ‘Sunday’ as the Lord’s Holy day of Obligation. While I was growing up, this was a priority: a day of celebration with Jesus – learning catechism, going to church, and the only day in a week we had meat. We joyfully celebrated the day with Christ and His Community!  Growing up as a cradle Catholic in a Catholic family, this tradition of going to church was a ritual of life, thanks to my family! I later realized that this day is not just a day of obligation; it is a true day of celebration with Christ and His Community.
Bony

January 18, 2023 - WITHERED
Jesus said to the man with the withered hand, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. (Ref. MK 3:1-6)
I had a classmate in my school days whose right hand was withered, but his left hand was stronger than anyone’s normal hand.  He was a great ‘kabaddi’ (kabaddi is a team sport popular in India) player and a pillar of our team. The opposite team would try to take advantage of his weakness, but other teammates covered that weak side. This example is like a call from Jesus to support the weak with our help. There is no appointed time for it; NOW is the time.

Spiritually, I feel withered when I fall into sin. Then I hear Jesus’ voice, ‘stretch out,’ ‘show me,’ and I remain open to his mercy. I am fully restored to his grace and strengthened by the power of this, His mercy.
Bony

January 19, 2023 - ‘People wanted to touch Jesus’
“He had cured many and, as a result, those with diseases were pressing upon him to touch him. (Ref. Mk 3:7-12)
People were attracted to Jesus because he healed many. There is a school for children with special needs in my home diocese in India.  Every visit there is a great experience; the children come to you to touch and hug you. They show their love to you; very expressive in their love and at the same time, I feel that they are deprived of love and attention and are looking for more love.

People touched Jesus because they wanted to be healed – physical healing and getting their needs fulfilled. And they came from beyond Israel. So also, I am called to go beyond my boundaries to touch people and share Jesus’ love, compassion, and his power of liberation.

Jesus, help my little faith and heal my body and spirit as I touch you in Holy Communion; your every touch gives me comfort in my afflictions. 
Bony

January 20, 2023 - The Apostles
“He appointed Twelve, whom he also named Apostles, that they might be with him…. (Ref. MK 3:13-19)
It was Jesus’ significant step to constitute the people of God to share His mission (NJBC) -He called people to be with Him. By baptism, we are also made part of this significant group. And as an ordained priest I am additionally called to be with him without any reservation.

After the first three years of my seminary formation, I was planning to leave my home diocese for another mission diocese in northeast India. I shared my intention with the director, Msgr. Varghese.  After listening to me, he said, “you may want to go on a mission; pray to Jesus to help you discern, to know what Jesus wants you to do.”  After prayer and discernment, I decided to remain in my home diocese and was ordained a priest for Jesus’ mission in that diocese. Jesus was telling me to be Him for His mission in my own diocese.
Bony

January 21, 2023 - Sound Minded Jesus 
“When his relatives heard of this, they set out to seize him, for they said, "He is out of his mind." (Ref. MK 3:20-21)
The relatives’ trying to restrain Jesus might be due to concern for his safety or fear of losing the family reputation or embarrassment after the growing rejection of and opposition to Jesus from leaders. It could also be due to their disbelief and not trusting him. In the eyes of humans, Jesus seems out of his mind. But Jesus was ‘clear in his mind’ regarding his mission - to do the will of the Father. 

Having lived with my grandfather, an ardent believer and a teacher, I witnessed many debates about Christianity and God with his communist friends. For them, those who followed religion were out of their minds. It might be because of his testimony that all those people later embraced Christ and were faithful Christians. The rejection of God coming from a non-believer and outside of the family of Christ can be understood. But if it comes from within the family of Christ, it is painful, which we witness these days.  They do not realize they are also members of the body of Christ. 

Jesus, strengthen me in the conviction: ‘to live is Christ and die is gain’ (Philippines 1: 21) ‘
Bony

January 22, 2023 - The Light House 
“The people who sit in darkness have seen a great light; on those dwelling in a land overshadowed by death, light has arisen. (Ref. MK 4:12-17)
There is a lighthouse on the beach in my hometown. This lighthouse was built in 1862, and since then, it has been a pointer to the ships coming to the port. Though the port has decayed, the lighthouse functions well and attracts many. The lighthouse is an icon of our town. As a child, I was delighted to look for the light rays flashing at night from my house. 
The light and the darkness are used to depict good and evil. Jesus, our perpetual light shines and enlightens every one of us. We are called to walk in the light of Christ. In the baptism ritual, we light a candle from the paschal candle, and give it to the newly baptized as we pray that they keep this entrusted light burning brightly, and that one who Christ has enlightened will walk always as the child of light.

 Lead, kindly Light, amid the gloom of evening. Lord, lead me on! Lord, lead me on! On through the night! On to your radiance! Lead, kindly Light! (John Henry Newman)
Bony

Reflections for Jan. 9-15, 2023

January 9, 2023-  Coming Clean
What a great way to begin the work week, celebrating the Baptism of the Lord, a great Feast Day reminding me of the fact that Jesus was true man as well as true God.  He joined other Jews going to receive this joyful cleansing from his cousin, John the Baptist.  Of course Jesus was a man without sin but he was a great role model proclaiming by his actions what was (and remains) important in those who follow and worship God the Father.   Can you remember your baptismal day?  Probably not because many of us are baptized as infants.   I, on the other hand, as an adult “convert” was baptized at age twenty on a cold Christmas Eve by the priest who’d instructed me on what being a Catholic is (pre R.C.I.A.).  For some reason he was satisfied that I was serious and he had no qualms about dousing my head with ice cold water at a stone font.  Baptism for anyone comes with the expectation that each of us “…pay it forward” by practicing what we believe.  For each person that practice is different but I have Jesus’ example of ministering to people’s needs.  He cured illness, taught the meaning of scripture, listened to peoples’ hurts and responded with love. As a baptized Catholic washed clean in the waters of Baptism, I try to follow Jesus’ lead.  Pray for me as I continue to pray for you.                   
Deacon David

January 10, 2023 - Looking Back

Have I made my resolutions for the New Year?  Truthfully, no, and further I must admit that in years past I’ve not made resolutions because I haven’t gone into a new year willing to change anything.  Oh yeah, there are a few pounds I’d like to lose but I know, in my heart of hearts, that I won’t stick to an eating regimen for more than a couple of days and then the left over Christmas cookies surely cannot be wasted….that would be wrong.  Last year I did make one promise to myself that I’ve mostly kept: more prayer time.  I tried to keep in mind that any and every aspect of daily life can be an occasion of prayer.  For instance, when I’m stuck at a notoriously long traffic light, I stop fuming and being anxious and instead use the few extra moments to pray for those who are stuck along with me and for safe travel for the rest of the journey.  That leads me to being aware in any spare moment to pray for those people who’ve asked for my prayers on behalf of their intentions be it for a loved one dealing with illness or need or simply in thanksgiving for prayers answered.  I’ve found great comfort in this new (for me) way of talking with God more.  That is looking back on 2022; now on to 2023.  I must ask myself:  what changes am I willing to make this year?  Meanwhile, I need to take care of those left-over Christmas cookies.                        Deacon David

January 11,2023 – Finding God in Music

I enjoy listening to music, music from my younger years mostly, the 40’s through the 80’s and I admit to being ignorant of present-day popular music.  As an aside I am a fan of the television program Jeopardy and one of the common categories of answers is popular music.  I know absolutely nothing of current artists or song titles,  so I can hardly ever supply the appropriate question. My favorites range from the “rock” era with Fleetwood Mac to my present day appreciation of modern jazz.   During Christmas I enjoy all the old favorite hymns and I was surprised to learn that during the past four years Mariah Carey held the top spot singing about all that she wanted…but I didn’t listen to the proper venue to hear what that was.  There are also newer Christmas carols being sung in church but I’m not able to sing along being unaware of proper tunes and lyrics. This is where I have to remind myself that God exists in all aspects of my life, including current songs and singers.  Just because I prefer the old doesn’t mean God isn’t present in the new.  Lord, open my ears and my heart to your universal presence.                     
 Deacon David

January 12, 2023 – Finding God in Reading

Every once in a while in conversation, the subject of favorite books comes up.  I’m amazed at friends and family members who seem to read constantly and know all of the current titles and authors and can discuss the merits of each book.  When I’m asked what my favorite book is my answer is constant: Catch 22 by Joseph Heller.  I’ve read that book about eight times and plan to read it again.  Why? You may ask.  Part of the answer is that book, amongst all that I’ve read, seems to have the most life, real life, lessons of any book. In it an old Italian man tells Yossarian he should learn from history and not rely on current day information.   But wait, you may say, how can you know there aren’t others with equal or better lessons.  The Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles, for example, are also full of life lessons and road maps for me to follow, which I try to incorporate into my daily life.  But I must admit that I find the relative recency of the time period in Catch 22  meaningful.  God is present for me in Catch 22 as He certainly is in the Bible but also in other secular writing as well.  The lesson to me is that God can be found in many of the things I read, from the daily newspaper through novels and the Bible.   The key is for me to pay attention to the lessons He presents to me in many ways. 
Deacon David

January 13, 2023 – Food for One Another

Did you overeat during the Christmas season?  I did.  Family gathered mainly at our house this past Christmas and everyone brought food and drink for about 20 of us.  Low calorie?  No.  Healthy?  Well, there were some fruits and veggies but lots of buttery stuff.  Since it was at our house, we got the majority of the leftovers.  Amongst us there were Catholics, Jews, non-believers and agnostics.  Our table was all inclusive and we tried to make the prayers inclusisve too.  The many gifts of God, including Jesus the newborn, were acknowledged by all, celebrated at the table and throughout the house. Food was the secular communion that fed our togetherness for three days.  While Jane and I were the only ones who assisted at Mass there was a celebration at home that united us in spite of our faith differences. We, it seems, were food for one another in our conversations and being together. What a wonderful time it was, celebrating the birth of our Savior, each in our own way… food for all.
Deacon David                                          

January 14, 2023 - Colors
One of the guests in our home this past Christmas was a lady suffering from macular degeneration, a condition that gradually robs a person of sight.  She can still make out forms but needs to hear voices to identify with whom she is conversing.  She let us know that she also has lost the ability to see color and that all is in black and white.  That revelation brought to mind how fortunate I am to have recently regained clarity of sight through cataract surgery that replaced the clouded lenses in my eyes.  I can now see well enough to read without glasses and the world is sharper and brighter.   I can enjoy the marvelous colors in nature more clearly.  People often ask what my favorite color is and, without fail, I reply RED.  It is the most brilliant of colors and I enjoy it particularly in clothing.  When the occasion arises, the vestments worn by clergy make use of red.  For me it signals that something special is going on.   We use red to remind us of those saints and martyrs who have died for the faith we share. It also brings to mind the presence of the Holy Spirit with us.  God has blessed me with the eyes to see and appreciate Him in nature and in the people who inhabit it.  Let me keep in prayer those who lack the sight to see what I sometimes take for granted.
Deacon David

January 15, 2023 - Rain

I’m writing this reflection about two weeks before you’ll be reading it.  The day is cold and rainy as it has been for several days and will be for several more according to forecasts.  I enjoy the rain here in Northern California because, as a born and bred Southern Californian, I didn’t often see such rainfall.  The rain today reminds me of having been baptized on a cold and rainy Christmas eve and hearing the words admonishing me to go into the whole world and share the Good News of Jesus Christ.  I didn’t understand then the full import of those words and how my life would be shaped by that Sacrament.  Today’s God given gift of rain to replenish the reservoirs and groundwater tables is a sort of metaphor for what waters of baptism do for each of us who have been baptized.  Though I remember my baptism while many cannot, we can all appreciate what that water has done for us and what it leads us toward. We too are replenished.  In today’s Gospel reading I heard John the Baptist talk about baptizing with water and awaiting Jesus’ baptizing with the Holy Spirit.  We have been abundantly gifted with both of those just as the earth has been blessed with God’s gift of rain.  I need to remember that those blessings are not just for me but to give me the grace to proclaim the Good News with my life.
Deacon David

Reflections for Jan. 2-8, 2023
January 2, 2023- Word for the Year
Here we are again!  It’s the time of year when people make resolutions to exercise more, lose weight, etc.  As we know, these resolutions hardly ever last and it is easy to completely forget them a few weeks into the new year.  However a few years ago, it was suggested that instead of making resolutions, it might be more fruitful to concentrate on a word or intention for the year.  Do I want to be more prayerful?  Do I want to be more authentic?  How about having a better work/life balance?  Last year, I happened to choose “healing” and little did I know how appropriate it would be!
One person I know took this a step further and chose a symbol to help remind herself of her intention.  She had chosen the word “connection”, hoping to spend the year appreciating how she was connected to her family, friends, and the earth.  She chose to clip a safety pin to whatever she was wearing each day as a visual reminder.  It was both clever and effective!  It is not necessary to let others know your word (and sometimes that is preferable).
Lord, help me do the deep inner work this year as I focus on one thing that might draw me closer to you.
Darcy Wharton

January 3, 2023- “It’s Not the Song”
One of my favorite activities is singing with the 5:00 PM Sunday choir.  I am awed by the talent of the musicians and my fellow singers.  I am aware of the time and effort that goes into the music selections and that many people put into practice during the week and during our rehearsals.  It is very easy as a musician or vocalist to spend too much time worrying about “doing it right” so as not to make a critical mistake. 
However, each week our leader Greg Pfister prays with us prior to Mass.  We call to mind special intentions and then he always ends with, “It’s not the song, it’s for whom the song is sung.”  I’m not sure how he came up with the phrase, but it is a powerful reminder for me that ultimately my focus should be on praising God and less on the technical skills required to sing well. 
Perhaps I should bring that sentiment into my work as well. “It’s not the work…it’s for whom the work is done.” 
Darcy Wharton

January 4, 2023- Learning from our Children
Today is the birthday of our middle daughter Sarah, a person who has always been interested in learning.  To me, she epitomizes the idea of lifelong learning.  School always came easy to her, and she is a voracious reader.  Often her conversations are “over my head”.  Through the years, I have turned to her to explain things to me and fortunately, she generally has the patience to do so.  She has clearly made me a better (and more informed) person. 
I remember at times when she was growing up that I felt a bit intimidated by her knowledge.  After all, weren’t parents supposed to be the ones teaching their children and not the other way around?  It takes humility to realize that our children may be our best teachers.
Lord, help me to be open to learning through whomever you place in my path.
Darcy Wharton

January 5, 2023- Reset or Replace
Sometimes the most ordinary situations bring insight.  Not long ago we were preparing breakfast when we realized that one of our outlets in the kitchen wasn’t working.  Had we tripped a circuit? Did we need to reset a GFCI (ground fault circuit interrupter)?   I quickly darted around the house resetting all the GFCIs and testing all the nearby outlets. When you live with a husband who is an electrical engineer, you know that a tool called a multimeter will soon come out.  Before long, he determined that the GFCI switch itself had gone bad and needed to be replaced.  I also received a lesson on the fact that the GFCI protects the other outlets that are connected to it.  Like so many other things in life, one thing connects to another!
It got me thinking. What in my life needs to be “reset” and what needs to be “replaced”? Sometimes I just need a moment of reflection to change my attitude (reset) and other times I need to remove or change my actions entirely (replace).  Whether I am resetting or replacing, I know that my decision will influence those around me.
I’m convinced that God uses anything, anyone, and everything to teach me!
Darcy Wharton

January 6, 2023- God Loves You
Many of you remember Fr. Michael Dillon, the founding pastor of SS. Peter & Paul.  Everyone who mentions his name to me is quick to point out that one of their favorite things about him was his homilies.  They speak of his ability to take the events of the world and tie them to the Gospel.  I once asked him what he felt was needed for a good homily.  He said one should never make more than one “point” because people would forget anything more than that.  He also said that the most important information to convey in a homily was that God loved them.  He felt that if he could find a different way of saying that every week, it would be enough. 
Over the years, I have come to understand Fr. Dillon’s wisdom.  To the degree that I can accept God’s love, I can be transformed by it.  God’s love has the power to carry me through difficult times and helps me share that love with others in need.  It’s a message that I could hear over and over again and it would never be enough!
Darcy Wharton

January 7, 2023- Hidden Pain
The topic of suicide hit the news recently with the loss of the famous hip hop dancer, choreographer and television personality Stephen Boss, better known as “tWitch”.  Many of his colleagues in show business expressed shock at his death.  Comments such as “he had everything going for him” and “how could he do this to his family and friends” filled the internet.
As a sibling of someone who died by suicide, I can tell you that we truly never know what is going on internally within a person.  There is often deep pain that may go back to childhood trauma or depression that isn’t adequately treated. 
Some of you may know that the Catholic church prohibited funerals for individuals who died by suicide until the 1980’s.  Fortunately, the Church now understands the relationship of mental illness and suicide and families can now be comforted by the church’s funeral ritual.  God’s mercy and forgiveness is available to all, and I am grateful for that.
Lord, help me reach out to any who suffer.   May those who suffer any form of mental illness find the help they need and may they begin to see themselves through your lens.
Darcy Wharton

January 8, 2023-The Most Precious Gifts
I find that the most meaningful gifts are often from children.  They seem to find such authentic pleasure in giving gifts to their parents or siblings and it is hard to miss the love that goes into the giving.  This past year, I was reminded of the pure love of children when one of our young parishioners, Aloma, came up to me one Sunday with the biggest hug after hearing about my accident and praying for me in her home.  She must have felt that the hug wasn’t enough (it was!) so she dug into the bag she was carrying and gave me a necklace that she had made that consisted of plastic beads threaded onto yarn that spelled out her name.  It was such a sweet gesture.  Even after I protested, she insisted that I keep it.  Her spontaneous generosity warmed my heart.
No doubt the generosity and love of the wise men that we celebrate on Epiphany also touched the heart of the Holy Family. 
Lord, help me give spontaneously and generously.
Darcy Wharton


Reflections for Dec. 26, 2023-Jan. 1, 2023

December 26, 2022 – Reminding

I don’t know what happened to me this year during Advent - I just couldn’t get it together to light the candles on Sundays.  Inevitably we would get home from mass on Sunday and get right into our evening routine of dinner, books and bed, and then it would be mid-week and the girls would have to remind me to light the candles. 

This is very uncharacteristic because I LOVE Advent – it is my favorite season! It has also become my daughters’ favorite as we light the Advent candles and sing “Ready the Way.”   There must have been something about this year and this season though which called for some reminding.  It is true that there will be a day when I don’t feel as though I am “chasing Advent” - I will be able to sit and pray with the daily reflection book, and remember to light the candles.  But for now, in this season of my life, I consider it a gift that my own children are reminding me. 

These gentle nudges from my daughters to light the candle seemed to be God’s way of turning my attention to the awe and wonder of celebrating the season with and alongside my children.  Sometimes I just need a little reminding…O Come O Come Emmanuel!

-Katie Maynard


December 27, 2022 – Silent Night

In my graduate studies in Theology I took a class called “Crucifixion and Resurrection in Art & Theology.”  During one lesson we studied the work of James Tissot, and I was fascinated by one particular piece called, “What Our Saviour Saw from the Cross” illustrating the crucifixion narrative.  It was painted from the vantage point of Jesus on the cross looking down upon those gathered at his feet as he was crucified.  It is a striking image as you see smirking soldiers, solemn onlookers, worried disciples and a devastatingly grief-stricken Mary.

I thought about this image a few weeks ago during our parish Christmas Concert as the choir sang “Silent Night” in different languages.   As I looked at the resurrected Christ above the altar, I imagined what he might have seen looking out onto our congregation: mothers in tears as they watched their children (of all ages) sing, people singing along as this popular carol was sung in their native language…a beautiful prayer lifted up in song.

I find it helpful to pray with “what our savior sees” as it reminds me of how he is beholding and inviting me to come just as I am…the same way he did that Silent Night in the manger…with arms open wide.

-Katie Maynard

December 28, 2022 – Friendship

One evening as I was tucking my daughter Noelle into bed, she shared a sweet story of a kindness she had shown towards another student who was being excluded.  As I was moved by the story I said to her, “Noelle, I wish you were my friend when I was young.”  And she replied, “Me too, but you’re my mom and that’s way better!”

Friendships have been difficult for me in my life – meeting new friends and teammates as we moved to a new city, inevitably being the one left out in a group of three, mean girls passing notes about me, and good friends who have taken advantage of me.  I have a vivid memory of being a teenager and praying at bedtime for Jesus to take away my struggles.  Come to think of it, that is all we can really do: surrender, bring our burdens to God, and trust that it is more than enough, because it brings peace to our wounded hearts.  No matter how much I wish that Jesus could have been my friend here on earth, He is my God and that is way better!

-Katie Maynard

December 29, 2022 – Bubble Up

I was volunteering at my daughters’ school the other morning, and I noticed a little kindergartner skipping on the sidewalk all the way into her classroom.  It brought a smile to my face, because it was like joy was bubbling up right in front of me.  It made me think, “What if my joy was right on the surface?” 

My ability to be present to the moment and to those who are in my presence seems to allow my joy to bubble up to the surface.  I know that Christ comes to us in the people we meet, even those most unexpected…and yet, it is a choice to be present to others as if I know that to be the truth.  My husband and I recently had this conversation during an evening of L.O.V.E. ministry - what if we mirrored this truth to one another in every coming and going…of course we do this for each other much of the time, but what if our eyes lit up with big smiles every time we saw each other?

Possibly the greatest gift that we can give each other is to truly see and hear one another.  Lord, I pray that I may give this gift: to see the light in others, to see you present among us…and in return, enlighten my spirit so that my joy may bubble up. 

-Katie Maynard

December 30, 2022 – On a Mission of Love

I love when I hear my daughters ask Google to play a song from church – it’s a beautiful thing that they long to be moved by the melody or lyrics of these songs of our faith.  My favorite instance of this though was the other night as I was tucking my daughter into bed and kissing her forehead, she whispered to me “I send you out on a mission of love” – not only moved by the song, but drawn to the words and using them in prayer for another person…for me.

Today we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family and the visit of the Magi: Balthasar, Caspar, and Melchior (or as my youngest daughter recently referred to them as: Bob, Herald, and Jeff).  We read about Mary and Joseph fleeing to Egypt with their new baby and I can’t help but think of how they must have felt leaving the surprising safety of the manger.  The fear of uncertainty would have been inevitable, and yet they were sent out, called by God and shepherded by angels to do God’s will…on a mission of love.

-Katie Maynard 

December 31, 2022 – Noticing

The other day my daughter Grace was reading her book and as she finished and closed the book she lamented, “Ah man, now I have to wait for the next book to come out to find out what happens.”  This is a familiar feeling as we find ourselves on the eve of a new year: closing a chapter, or being on the brink of starting something new.

In the midst of noise makers, party poppers and confetti falling, our family tries to make time for reflection on New Year’s Eve.  Our kids have been putting their highlights, favorites, and resolutions into a time capsule each year, and we have done the same.  It allows space for us to notice (my favorite word) the blessings of the past year, the graces in front of us, and that for which we “cannot wait”.

It’s hard to wait for the next chapter, but the gift of Advent can teach us:   as we cross this threshold, there is increasing light as we anticipate new life on the horizon…may it light our path!

-Katie Maynard

January 1, 2023 – Full of Grace

I always feel all the feelings on January 1^st – excitement for what lies ahead, hopefulness, and admittedly a bit of “overwhelm”.  As a recovering perfectionist I can get caught up in wanting to get everything right from the get-go.  So it seems fitting that today happens to be the feast of the Solemnity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, because who better to call upon in prayer at the start of something.  

Mary, FULL of grace, knew what it felt like to stand at the brink of a new beginning and although I imagine feelings of being overwhelmed would have washed over her, the fullness of her God-given grace allowed her to stand ready and resolute.  Blessed Mary, mother of God, at the beginning of this new year, cover me with your grace so that I might be in a place of “YES.” 

Today though, I pray to two very important Marys in my life: not only to the Blessed Virgin Mary, but also to my Mama Mary.  When my grandmother passed away over a year ago, I inherited a pair of her moccasin slippers.  Lately, I haven’t wanted to take them off – they are so cozy and of course they remind me of her when I put them on.  Mama Mary, as I walk humbly in your footsteps, may the warmth of your presence be with me in this new year to come and may I be reminded of who I am and whose I am.

Happy New Year – may you be covered in grace and coziness, wherever your footsteps may travel.

-Katie Maynard

Reflections for Dec. 19-25, 2022

December 19, 2022 - Privilege, Left-overs and Weeping
Recently at a family gathering people recounted stories of various interactions with our unhoused brothers and sisters.  One aunt told of a man who asked for money that she didn’t have.   Instead she offered him half of a left-over boxed sandwich.  The man responded angrily with profanities about not wanting leftovers and walked away. An uncle offered his gloves to a barehanded man begging on the street in very cold weather and was rebuffed because the gloves inhibited his ability to grasp money.  A granddaughter offered the observation “imagine what it must feel like to be offered leftovers”.  What happened next was surprising.  Good, generous people began to defend their actions instead of listening to why these actions might be experienced as offensive. This defense grew stronger as others offered opinions and experiences.  Amid this discussion, the granddaughter left the room in tears:  tears of frustration at not being heard or understood, tears for the diminished dignity of those for whom she was speaking, tears of tiredness…

Lord grant me the gift of weeping in remorse for the times I have given “leftovers” from my privileged excess without thinking of how the gift might be perceived. Grant me the gift of weeping for misunderstandings about charity, dignity and justice that continue to cause division, and let me weep in pride for a 20 year old granddaughter who was willing to remind a room full of privileged adults to recognize the need for human dignity we all share.
Jane Haproff

December 20, 2022 - Darkness

It’s dark at 5:00 p.m. these days.  My mother had Sundowner’s Syndrome the last several months of her life, a condition that causes confusion, anxiety and/or depression in elderly people.  It’s called “sundowner’s” because the symptoms worsen as the daylight fades.  So while many people dislike the early darkness, it was especially bad for my mother.  And, sadly because my mother was such a smart woman, she knew in the morning what the evening would be like.  One of the suggested treatments for this syndrome is “light therapy”, lighting the environment with as much artificial light as possible in an effort to create a calming atmosphere.

This is all so relevant to me at this time of year as I drive down dark streets where homes are decorated with lights of all kinds.  I wonder why we do this, why this is tradition. And I am reminded of my mother and what being without light was like for her.  Christ is the Light of the World, and the symptoms that my mother experienced in illness can show us what life without that light might look like:  …depression, anxiety and confusion.  Come, Lord Jesus, and fill us with your light so that it shines throughout the world and no one is left in the dark.
Jane Haproff

December 21, 2022 – Sun Rise

The other morning I was up while it was still dark.  I settled into my chair with a cup of coffee and watched the sun rise.  And what a beautiful sun rise it was, a layer of dark blue, covering a layer of black sky on the horizon, intermingled with frothy white clouds.  The sky above was grayish while sandwiched in between was a marbleized collection of pink and orange, mixed with shades of red and yellow pierced by the sun rising in what looked like behind all of these colors.  I sat in awe at the beauty.  The gospel of John begins by describing Christ as the light coming into the darkness and “piercing” it.  That is what this sunrise looked like.  It’s not just a dark world getting lighter.  It’s the shocking appearance of what a ray of light does to darkness. 

If Christ is the light, that sunrise was telling me what His light piercing the darkness of the world means.  First, it is beautiful. One cannot help but gasp at the beauty and glory that is literally divine. Second, something is promised in the sunrise:  a future where the darkness, whatever it is, is dispelled.  And there it is:  hope.  The sun rise reminds me that a new day is dawning, second chances occur daily and salvation is drawing near.
Jane Haproff


December 22, 2022 - Sun Light

Sun light is bright, hot and revealing.  Sometimes when I cannot see something clearly, small print on a package for instance, I’ll move into direct sunlight where I can miraculously see. Direct sunlight is also hot.  We all know what being in the direct sun feels like in the heat of summer and how it can be almost unbearable.  But that same sunlight in the winter is immediately comforting with its heat.  If the sunrise means hope, sun light makes me think of faith. 

There are so many times in one’s life when one might ask the question “why? or why me?”; times when all we have to fall back on is faith and trust in something bigger that we call God. It is then that Christ as the light makes everything clearer, and I can see for a minute what the world should look like, bright and shiny and clean.  I remember that Jesus, the man, had moments of questioning and disappointment when he called out “why have you forsaken me”.  Then I close my eyes, bring to mind His presence and experience God’s love as warm and bright.  Faith…not the answer for all of life’s questions, but a clarifying brightness that helps me to put things into context and reminds me of the joy faith brings to my life.  Then I can sing “joy to the world, the Lord has come”. 
Jane Haproff


December 23, 2022 – Candlelight

As we light our Advent candles, I am struck by how different candlelight is from other kinds of light.  A single candle doesn’t provide much illumination for one to see by, but it does induce a kind of meditative state of thought or being.  Candlelight is soft and gentle; it’s not clarifying in the same bright way that sunlight is.  It doesn’t expose things; rather it creates a kind of shadow world where you can observe things but not necessarily in all their reality.  Candlelight invites introspection, thought, and sometimes sharing those thoughts with others.  Perhaps candlelight can take us to a deeper or different experience of what is present to us.  And there in that light, I experience the presence of Christ the light, inviting me gently to go deeper than the material world I inhabit, allowing me the opportunity for thoughts to wander, to speculate and to dream an alternative reality into existence.  Another way that Christ is the light shining into the world.
Jane Haproff

December 24, 2022 – Fire Light

If you are lucky enough to have a working fireplace, you may be using it more frequently these cold nights.  There is something about sitting in front of a fireplace or around a fire pit that evokes a sense of the profound.  It does not clarify vision the way sunlight does, nor does it display the gentleness of candlelight.  Instead there is something almost frightening about watching a fire burn.  It can certainly invite some of the same kinds of thoughts one might experience with candlelight.  But there is more to a fire.  While providing warmth it also reminds us that that warmth comes at a price…something is being destroyed or consumed, whether it is firewood, cardboard, pinecones or gas emissions. Fire can take on a fierce aspect when it flames up at times.  There is a danger associated with fire, while at the same time fire invites us to community, to gather around.     How does this demonstrate Christ the light?  Well for me it is twofold. There is power and might in this light, certainly attributes of God Himself; aspects of God that are awesome and for me, that can be frightening.  There is also the call to community…. Perhaps it is that he wishes us to burn away the selfish self and join him in the world of community, living for one another as Father, Son and Spirit do.  Christ, be my light in all aspects, even when what you reveal can be frightening.
Jane Haproff

December 25, 2022 - Gifts

Mary has been the focus of my thoughts this advent.  Her pregnancy and all that it meant was announced to her by an angel.    After the fear and awe had settled, she must have been eager to prepare for this child in all the ways that expectant parents do. Joseph, the carpenter, would have made a special cradle, while Mary was busy weaving and sewing baby garments.  Then the news…they must leave for Bethlehem for the census.  We know the story:  no room at the inn, Jesus born in a stable and placed in a manger that held feed for animals.  I tend to romanticize this story, but when I think of it in real human terms Mary must have felt disappointment at not being able to give this miraculous baby all the special things they had prepared.  Stables are generally dirty, smelly places; it was cold and dark and scary to be without even basic creature comforts, happy just to have some shelter. And not much else.   And then the shepherds arrive bringing joy, celebration and awe. Can you imagine for a minute what that must have meant to Mary?  We all think our children are amazing miracles, but Mary knew hers was for sure and she had nothing special to give Him except her love. When the shepherds show up their presence was a gift to her, really the only gift she would receive for her child that night:  they saw her child, recognized Him, and rejoiced.   May we all bring those same gifts to Mary this Christmas.  Merry Christmas
Jane Haproff

Reflections for Dec. 12-18, 2022

December 12, 2022—I Am Jesus
My wife, Cindy, and I spent about 10 days in September 2022, in Kaanapali, Maui, Hawaii.  From time to time we drove a few miles down the road to Lahaina to buy food at the local Safeway or enjoy a dinner out.  On several occasions, we saw a man standing on the road bearing a sign that read, “I Am Jesus.”  We didn’t stop to talk with him, but his sign did get our attention.
A few blocks later, we passed a church that had a sign that read, “Jesus is Coming.”  Did they not know that Jesus was already standing along the main road?
I don’t believe the man along the road was Jesus. (Luke 21:8 tells us, ”…many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am he;’ do not follow them.”) But we are, i.e., all of us, the Body of Christ and Jesus does breathe and move and live in us—His Body, where he is present.
In the first part of this season of Advent, we are reminded that we live in the final days, a time of mercy and hope to bring others into the kingdom of God. Perhaps this was the message the man on the road wanted to convey to anyone who would stop to speak with him.  And perhaps the sign on the Church was also right:  Jesus IS coming again and we have a lot of work to do to inspire hope and bring mercy to all we encounter.                           
Bob Leathers

December 13, 2022—Hawaiian Angels
Before our retirement in 2020, my wife, Cindy, and I spent about 10 days every other year in Maui.  But until this September, we had not visited Hawaii in four years.  We’ve always stayed in a timeshare with inviting views of the ocean and our daily routine consisted of an early morning walk, and then after breakfast, relaxing for the better part of each day in covered lounge chairs reading books or swimming in the pool (when we weren’t catnapping!).  At night we went out for dinner at a nearby restaurant.  Our 10 days were a welcome respite from our busy work schedules.
On this trip, we thought things might feel different because we had retired.  Surprisingly we still felt rested, but some things were different.  One of the two large pools was closed for renovation, so we couldn’t reserve our beach chairs with the usual ocean view.  Also, some of the timeshares and local restaurants had closed or had reopened with limited capacity making reservations hard to get.
Enter three angels: Jeff, Connor, and Kama.  They had the “Aloha” spirit and ensured we had a great stay.  Every afternoon, Kama brought us an Otter Bar (a frozen fruit popsicle)!  And one day Jeff and Connor surprised us by putting us up in a large, shaded cabana.
Every now and then God puts angels like Jeff, Connor and Kama in your life.  I just need to be aware of their presence and be grateful for their company!                                      Bob Leathers

December 14, 2022—Duke Kahanamoku
Whenever we visit Kaanapali in Maui, we like to eat dinner at Duke’s, just a 5-minute walk from our hotel.  Duke’s offers great food, especially seafood, and it’s especially known for its Hula Pie, consisting of layers of chocolate cookie crust, macadamia nut ice cream, hot fudge, and whipped cream!  Duke’s is named after Duke Kahanamoku.  I knew nothing about him until we watched a documentary (The Waterman) about his life during our flight to Hawaii.
A waterman (or woman) is someone who can do everything in the water, including surfing, paddleboarding and swimming. Duke was a waterman and went from an unknown to a member of the Olympics team in three months.    Duke was held in high esteem with great athletes like Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens.  He was a racial pioneer and an Olympic champion.  He shared his joy of surfing with the people of Australia when he visited their country.  Duke also saved hundreds of lives from drowning as a lifeguard.  Duke was an Hawaiian, or rather a truly American icon and hero, embodying a tremendous Aloha spirit.  The Waterman was an inspiring story and it made our recent visit to Duke’s restaurant most meaningful.
Duke touched many people in his lifetime.  He shared his God-given talents to bring joy and inspiration to thousands of people, extending a warm Aloha welcome to everyone he met.  I hope that you and I can also have an Aloha spirit to share our God-given talents with those we meet.                           Bob Leathers

December 15, 2022—Trophy Point
Trophy Point is a scenic overlook of the Hudson River at West Point, New York, and has been depicted in artwork since the early 19^th century.  It’s also the location of Battle Monument, one of the largest columns of granite in the world.  It was the site of West Point graduation ceremonies before larger class sizes prompted academy officials to move the ceremonies to a larger venue.
As a cadet at West Point, Trophy Point was one of my favorite spots on campus to relax, meditate and pray.  It still is, though regretfully I don’t get to visit Trophy Point very often.  When I do get there, or even imagine myself there, the first words that come to mind are usually something like, “Lord, how wonderful you are.  How can anyone witness this beautiful view—and so many other places in the world whose beauty inspires us whether far away or close to home—and not believe in God?”                                      Bob Leathers

December 16, 2022—A Free Gift
I learned about Sleep-Eat-Pray during COVID from a virtual retreat presented by Fr. Brendan McGuire, currently pastor of St. Simon in Los Altos.  (BTW, Fr. Brendan is coming to SS. Peter & Paul from January 22-24, 2023, to lead our annual parish mission!)
Fr. Brendan emphasized that we need adequate sleep (ideally 8 hours), good nutrition, and prayer to nourish our minds and bodies.  Recently, the need for 8 hours of sleep was reinforced by Dr. Matthew Walker, PhD, a neuroscientist and professor of sleep medicine at UC Berkeley during a talk he gave at the Sacramento Speaker Series.
Dr. Walker made the point that we humans are the only species that struggle to get adequate sleep.  He emphasized that our minds and bodies need good sleep to be healthy.  Poor sleep can result in bad eating habits (which can result in a number of health problems).  My guess is that poor sleep makes it difficult to pray, too. 
Dr. Walker said that counting sheep doesn’t really work to put us to sleep.  He does a short meditation.  So I will try getting some good sleep tonight starting with a short meditation, and I will try to make it a habit.  It’s free and it’s healthy.
Bob Leathers

December 17, 2022—The Voice
The Voice is a singing competition series on network television in which contestants vie for slots to be coached by one of four celebrity singer/judges.  To be selected, each contestant must impress at least one of the four judges in a blind singing audition.  Successful contestants are coached by one of the judges throughout the competition.
All of the contestants are talented singers and a handful are simply phenomenal singers who need little or no coaching but just an opportunity to be “discovered.”
In a recent episode, each of the remaining 13 finalists was asked to sing a song that changed their life.  While most songs are secular, one of the finalists chose a gospel song, Break Every Chain, that brought all four judges to their feet in an ovation.  The song began with: There is power in the name of Jesus…, and it was most inspiring. 
God has indeed created us with our own unique gifts.  I needn’t be afraid to use mine because God is grateful for the effort.  There is power in the name of Jesus!                     Bob Leathers

December 18, 2022—The Bible and Movies
We hear much of God’s word from the Bible at our Sunday masses over a three year cycle and at our weekday masses over a two year cycle.  So why do we keep hearing the same readings over and over again during these cycles?  Perhaps the simple answer is that we need to hear and listen to them, and then meditate on what God is saying to us at that particular time.

Similarly, I have some favorite movies that I like to rewatch from time to time.  One of them is The Wizard of Oz.  While not a religious movie, there are scenes where you can meditate on what God is saying to you…if you just stop and listen!

Nathan Castle, O.P., has written And Toto, Too: The Wizard of Oz as a Spiritual Adventure.  He writes that the lesson of The Wizard of Oz is that when you think you’re lacking something, you need to look inside.  When Dorothy arrived in Munchkinland and wanted to go back home, Glinda the Good Witch suggests that the only person who might know the way was the great and powerful Wizard of Oz.  Glinda goes on to explain that he lived in a faraway place, the Emerald City.  There’s a moral to this storyline and other stories within this great movie.  Our faith teaches us that God lives everywhere, including within our very 
As we celebrate this 4th Sunday of Advent, I rejoice that the incarnate God is near.  May we follow He who brings us true joy!
Bob Leathers



Reflections for Dec. 5-11, 2022

December 5, 2022 - Cookie’s Last Breath
Breathing seems so mindless and automatic most of the time as I go about my day.  As my mother-in-law was in her final days of life, I had the privilege and honor of being there in her final moments.  Death is not something that I was exposed to growing up.  I never attended a funeral of a loved one before.  It was so surreal and made me think of when I was about to give birth to my first child – everyone sitting around the bed, telling stories, laughing and crying and waiting with mixed anticipation for what would be next.  We all gathered around her bed, my father-in-law saying prayers and last words of love and devotion, my sisters-in-law saying their good-byes and giving kisses.  As she rolled on her side, she breathed her last breath.  There was a long silence , a pause as if time stood still even though it was only momentary.  After that brief silence, my in-laws asked if I would sing Amazing Grace as that was my mother-in-law’s favorite song.  I sang as they sat around her processing that she had closed this chapter of her life and was now in a new place starting a new chapter.  To be there and see her breathing one moment and in the next for it to be done.  To watch someone take their last breath has an impact.  I will forever remember that moment.  I recently heard this song that sings, “it’s your breath in our lungs so we pour out our praise to you.”  As I reflect on Cookie’s last breath, I am reminded that God sustains us and gives us breath to use it to bring praise to him in all we do.                                                                                                                                                Bianca Hennager

December 6, 2022 - Hide and Seek
When the boys were little my husband and I would play hide and seek with them in our charming little home.  The boys would find places to hide, and my husband and I would move loudly around the house calling out where we were looking for them.  I remember our second son (the youngest at the time) squealing with his deep laughter at the thought of us not being able to find him.  I was relieved that he was so loud, that I didn’t have to work too hard to find him. Even though he was loud, I would put on quite a show in finally reaching where he was hidden.  As he matured, the squeals got less and he became better at hiding.  I remember one time when playing the game, I couldn’t find him right away and became frantic.  What if he had hidden himself in a place that was dangerous or I couldn’t get to?  I began to panic as I was looking all over the house, trying to draw him out by calling his name.  When I think of today’s Gospel, it reminds me of this moment.  I imagine a Shepherd panicked at missing his one sheep; the relief the Shepherd must have felt when he found the sheep; pouring his love and warmth over that lost little animal. 
It’s easy for me to hide when I feel shameful of my actions or wander away from the flock when I think I have a better route.  However, Jesus is telling me that he always wants me with him and to be close to him; not to wander too far away.  I am learning the best way to stay close to him is through the Sacraments and a regular habit of daily prayer. Sure there will be times when I am further away than I would like but I am grateful for a Good Shepherd who loves me despite all of my wayward ways.                                             Bianca Hennager

December 7, 2022 - This Is Not What Was in the Brochure
A few weeks back I had the blessing of chaperoning our youth at the National Catholic Youth Conference.  One of the speakers discussed how as we mature and begin our adult journey; we realize that life isn’t always what we picture and in essence it:  “is not what was in the brochure”.  I chuckled because I could relate to this feeling.  Often, I have an ideal of what I think life should be like and then the reality of what I am faced with:  the ideal house with the white picket fence vs. the well lived in, stained carpet home in need of some repair.  So, it made me reflect on how I can embrace the beautiful mess of the life God has blessed me with.  Often I can become frustrated when my expectations of life are not met whether that is due to my own faults or the unmet expectations of others.  Reflecting on my expectations in life, I realized that any disappointment comes from a lack of trust in God.  If I truly trust in God, what need is there that I have expectations?  I don’t think I will ever get to a place of letting go of all of my expectations completely but I can certainly pause when I feel my expectations are not being met in life and put the focus on all of the blessings God has given me.  Lord, thank you for my beautiful mess.  I wouldn’t want it any other way.  At times when I am overwhelmed by the messiness of my life let me turn to you and thank you for giving me this beautiful life.                                                                                                                                                    Bianca Hennager

December 8, 2022 - Facetime with God
While at the National Catholic Youth Conference, we attended Eucharistic Adoration.  I have been to Eucharistic Adoration before and value the opportunity when it presents itself.  During this most recent time, it hit me that adoration is “Facetiming with God”.  As I was thinking of how best to make  adoration relevant to my teens, Facetiming made sense to me.  In addition, it reminded me of how much my teens like to Facetime with their friends and gave me a tangible way to relate this to them when we discuss our faith and building a relationship with God.  So as my teens Facetime nightly with their select circle I remind them that when we are at Mass or Eucharistic Adoration we get valuable Facetime with God. 
Lord, thank you for the opportunity to be fully with you in the Mass and at Adoration where you are ever present in the Eucharist.  Through your sacrifice and love, I am able to fully experience you and see you face to face.                                                                                                                                                                        Bianca Hennager

December 9, 2022 - Jesus I Trust in You
I learned this very simple prayer – so simple it is overlooked and one that I thought was not a prayer until a priest mentioned it recently. I have discovered this prayer helps me especially at this high stress inducing time of year as the holiday preparations are underway and my work is at its peak.  As I begin each day, I say this simple prayer:  Jesus, I trust in you; Jesus, I love you; Jesus, have mercy on me.  I say this prayer as I breathe in and out deliberately slowing the pace of my racing breath and speeding mind.  So far this has helped me to control my emotions and not to let my anxiety get the better of me in these stressful times.  I repeat this prayer several times over the course of the day for about 5 minutes at various times or when I feel my anxiety increasing.  It might be when I get into the car and am running late to pick up a kid or right before I go into back-to-back meetings for 4 hours.  It can be while I am standing in line at the store trying to be patient with the crowds during this holiday season.  This is such a simple and easy prayer for me that helps me to remember to slow my breathing down, slow my body down, and truly focus on what is most important:  Jesus.                                                                                                                                                     Bianca Hennager

December 10, 2022 - Show, Row, and Know
At the Youth Conference the theme was “Get in the Boat” and over the weekend the keynote speakers gave energizing and inspiring talks about this theme centered on water and a boat while being with Jesus.  One of the speakers used the phrase: “show, row, and know”.  The main idea of the talk was that when we are battling storms in our life we need to show and tell God how we are feeling.  Despite our feelings, God calls us to keep rowing throughout the storms of life and to trust in Him; and finally know that God keeps his promises and will restore us.  There are times in my life when I am struggling with storms that can feel isolating and overwhelming.  I can easily go down the road of “why me, Lord”? Hearing the speaker helped ground me in knowing that suffering or storms are inescapable.  We all experience them on some level.   What’s most important is to understand that God keeps his promises and will restore us if not in this life than in the next.  As I weather my storms, I will try not to compare my boat to others, or whether my storm is heavier than my neighbor’s; rather, I will try to focus on the glory of God and how he keeps his promises and will restore me.                                                                                                                                                  Bianca Hennager

December 11, 2022   Patiently Waiting
Around the middle of October, after limping along for a while, our dryer stopped working. I immediately began pricing dryers and had about 4 different price points to share with my husband, who is slow to commit to large purchases, later that day.  The cost seemed daunting to him even though to me it was a family necessity.  I patiently waited for pay day at the end of the month. I was sure we would get a dryer then, so I stopped taking clothes to the laundromat. My husband had a different idea.  Normally a moment of “intense fellowship” aka an argument would ensue. Disappointed that we could not agree, I returned to the laundromat.  While sitting there, I prayed for the patience and ability to extend grace to my husband who was unable to act with the speed that I wanted.   Returning home, I again inquired when we could get a dryer.  We agreed to an alternate plan that required waiting a couple of more weeks.  Time passed and it was the middle of November.  Before I left for the Youth Conference, I asked whether he was ready to get the dryer and didn’t get a clear answer. Upon returning from the conference, he surprised me with a dryer – not the dryer that I had price matched, but a better model that far surpassed my expectations. 
Lord as I wait for your arrival, let me be patient and not rush this season of waiting.  Let me focus on you, gently praying and submitting myself to your will.                                                                                              Bianca Hennager 

Reflections for Nov. 28-Dec. 4, 2022

November 28, 2022 - KonMari Method for the Soul
I often go on organizing purges in my home. It is my way keeping clutter and my life under control. Sometimes I’m unable to part with items or clothes that I haven’t worn or used in years. They will continue to collect dust in case I “need them someday” or “someone gave this to me”.  After reading Marie Kondo’s book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I realized there was a wonderful process for letting items go. She recommends that you embrace the each item you are sorting through and feel whether it is bringing you joy. If so, you keep it. If not, you thank it for the joy it brought you in the past and release it. She calls this the “KonMari” technique. It is a brilliant way to help manage your belongings by weighing the usefulness and sentimental value of items and then making a choice to keep them or to honor them and let them go.

As a Christian, after reflecting on this technique, I can see how this works with events and people in our lives. God wants  me to hold the things close that bring me joy but let go of those things that have become a burden or painful. He asks me to forgive others while he offers me his grace and forgiveness. He gifted me with the Holy Spirit to help discern these things in my life.  I think a little KonMari for the soul would be a great routine to incorporate into any Christian’s life.
Jen Payan

November 29, 2022 - A Request for Help
Recently I was preparing one of my tiny preemie patients for a central IV line insertion. The nurse specialist who would be inserting the line said she was going to step out for a minute while I gave the infant some medication to relax and put the baby in a comfortable swaddle.  She returned, donned her sterile attire, and started the procedure. With ease she cannulated the tiniest vein in the infant’s arm and threaded a hair sized catheter all the way to a targeted area right above the heart. I let out a sigh of relief, having assisted in many of these insertions that can take hours and multiple attempts. I complemented her on her success. Her response really touched me. She shared that her routine before starting the procedure was a drink of water, a bathroom break, and a prayer that God help guide her.

This was such a great reminder to me of how I can use prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit in my practice more often. A quick prayer can be the calm I need and provide the guidance to act and make the right decisions. It can calm my fears, help me focus, and even steady my hands. Hopefully, we can all remember that whether the task is large or small, God will have our backs!
Jen Payan

November 30, 2022 - God-given Talents
While viewing some family vacation photos recently, I came across a few very special ones of my brothers.

The first was of my brother Paul, who is an amazing storyteller. I observed my children, nieces, and nephews all circled around him mesmerized by one of his tales. They were sitting quiet and captivated during long wait at a restaurant. He had created a character named Johnny Bobo who had all sorts of adventures that my brother would make up as he went along. Throughout their early years the children would be asking Uncle Paul to tell them a story about Johnny at every opportunity.

Then there were some photos of my brother Patrick, who can build or fix just about anything. These pictures were taken during a camping trip. He is helping each of the children chop kindling. With each one, he patiently held his hand around their small one guiding the hatchet with each chop. I can see my daughter’s little tongue sticking out in concentration as she tries to strike the wood in the correct spot. Uncle Patrick always knew how to teach them by letting them get their hands and minds involved.

Observing these photos, I’m reminded of how my brothers’ talents differ but how both are so enriching to the children. God gives each one of us very different gifts, but all gifts are meant to serve and enrich. I need to appreciate and use what I have been given and embrace those who have different talents.
Jen Payan

December 1, 2022 - Same Day Surgery
My son Michael had to get tubes placed in his ears when he was 18 months old.

Keep in mind that I’m a trauma nurse, who has seen just about everything. I’ve rushed people to operating rooms while providing breathes with a bag through an endotracheal tube. I’ve started IVs and used rapid infusers to deliver blood as quickly as possible while calmly telling a family what I was doing.

But now I was sitting in outpatient surgery with my littlest boy on my lap and starting to sweat. The anesthesiologist came in and asked me about my baby’s health and described how he would put a mask over Mikey’s face and deliver a gas to sedate him for the procedure. For some reason, at the thought of this, I began to sweat even more profusely, my face tingled, and I started seeing whiteness. I handed Mikey to my husband and put my head between my knees to keep from passing out. Fear had completely incapacitated me.

It is shocking the intensity of love and fear we have for our children. I try to remember this when I come across a scripture reading that describes God’s love for his children. Then I take it a step further, remembering that he allowed his only son suffer for us and watched as He did so.
Jen Payan

December 2, 2022 - Our Brothers’ Keeper
Every Friday my gym selects a veteran or public service officer who died in the line of duty to honor. A few weeks ago it was the story of Marine Captain Brandon Barrett. He died a young man during only his 2^nd tour of duty. What I was taken by, was a story about his 1^st tour of duty in Afghanistan. He obviously felt a deep responsibility for the group that he led. He was so committed to keeping his soldiers safe that he wrote letters to all of their parents, assuring them that he would take care of their children. They all returned safely.

Captain Barrett was committed to being his brothers’ keeper, which is what God asks of all of us. If I assure the wellbeing of those around me, I would truly be treating each person as God intended. Capt. Barrett kept this in mind in the stressful environment of war while he was under pressure and fatigued.  If he could hold to this standard during such difficult times, I can certainly  strive for this in my daily lives.

Thank you to Captain Barrett for your example and to all our veterans who demonstrate these same values.
Jen Payan

December 3, 2022 - A Place of Privilege
Nurses try never let their patients die alone. In my many years of working critical care there seemed to be an unspoken agreement among us that we would assure someone was present when family couldn’t be there. There were times when family simply could not get there on time or the patient didn’t have anyone. Sometimes it was just too difficult emotionally for loved ones to be at the bedside. This is when nurses step in.

I recall one of my co-workers being busy with an admission while her other patient, who had requested not to be resuscitated, was in his final moments of life. She grabbed me and asked if I could sit with him as a relief nurse. The ICU was chaotic and noisy that day so I closed the doors of the room and dimmed the lights. I just sat and held his hand while he passed.  

In my years working in the ICU this memory stands out above many others. I remember how quiet and peaceful it was and how thankful I felt that one of us was available to sit with him. Most importantly, I came to the realization that being in that moment was one of the greatest gifts and privileges God has given me as a health care worker. Now I always hold the times that I’m with the dying very dear.
Jen Payan

December 4, 2022 - An Enormous Responsibility
Years ago I attended a presentation at a trauma conference about rescue efforts in the wake of the Oklahoma City bombing. I was moved by a story of a rescue worker who had the huge responsibility of viewing a specific point of the crumbled building through a scope. It was his job to order evacuation of the rescue workers if he observed the slightest shift in the rubble. Any shift could result in an entire building collapse that would put hundreds of workers in danger.

One afternoon, he sounded the alarm and an evacuation began. His team came to check on the building status and found him pale and sweaty. He was shaking and starting to cry.  They viewed the points through the scope but found no change or movement. It was deemed safe for everyone to return to the rescue effort. It was only then that they realized they needed to shorten the viewing shifts and provide better support for those who had been assigned to the task. They hadn’t considered the enormous stress of holding so many lives in the balance and the emotional fatigue related to it.

I was moved by this story in a few ways. First, it demonstrates the extreme conditions and responsibilities that certain professions share and gives me great respect. It also brought my attention to being aware of the needs of the people around me. Like the rescue worker, some are experiencing this type of stress and fear constantly. Not only do we need to be able to recognize the signs of stress and fatigue in others but also in ourselves. I may need to “shorten my shift”. I may need to seek emotional support or provide support to someone in need. I ask that God helps me recognize that in myself and as well as in others.
Jen Payan



Reflections for Nov. 21-27, 2022
November 21, 2022 - Thankful
  Though Spring is my favorite time of year, my next favorite is Fall.  As the trees turn from green to yellow, rust, and red, I am witness to the awesome gift that God has given us.  A person can sit and ponder the universe, the ever-changing landscape, the life and death of plants and trees as the seasons change, and they can also ponder the people whom He has breathed life into.  And then in Spring comes the renewal, and the promise of God to his people.  The gift of new life, the bursting forth of His creation, and the realization of His covenant.  This week will be a special one, as we give thanks for the blessings that have been bestowed on us. I am reminded of Thanksgivings of long ago when it was meaningful to give thanks.  Today some have turned it into a four day weekend of skiing, pre-Christmas shopping, decorating, travel, football, and Christmas parades. We have brushed aside the gift of love and tolerance as pilgrims sat down with native Americans to celebrate jointly the gift of friendship and thanksgiving for a bountiful harvest. 
So whether I look at the changing colors of the trees in my own backyard or travel to Vermont to witness the fall colors, I will appreciate the wonder of God in all that I do, and all that he has done for me.
Don Eagle
 
November 22, 2022 – USS Arizona
  A few weeks ago we joined my daughter and her family on a trip to Hawaii.  Our goal was to see our granddaughter who attends the University on the island of Oahu.  Another goal was to visit the Memorial of the USS Arizona located in Pearl Harbor.  This great Battleship was attacked and sunk on December 7, 1941.  She went to the bottom in nine minutes, carrying over a thousand sailors to their deaths and triggering the American participation in the Second World War.  She rests there still today, a cemetery to the sailors that went down with her.  It’s a very solemn site, and during your visit you are given a Hawaiian flower to drop into the water above the wreck.  Personally, I couldn’t help but think of God as I dropped my flower.  In a way, we were giving  homage to the crew of the Arizona, but we were also thinking of God opening the gates of heaven to so many who gave their lives so that we might live our  lives as we ought.  So that’s where the thanksgiving comes in.  Thanking and appreciating the men entombed below, thanking all those who keep their memory alive, and thanking God for our family, our friends, and for all those who protect us from harm. 
Don Eagle

November 23, 2022 - Men’s Day of Faith
  Each year St. Mel’s Church in Fair Oaks hosts a Men’s Day of Faith.  This year Karlo Broussard, one of the most dynamic Catholic speakers around, spoke about the role of men in today’s church.  He points out that as head of a family, a man must work to satisfy a relationship with God by being a man of prayer, a man of the sacraments, and a man of study.  Further he works to do so for others by praying for and with the family, exhorting the family in the ways of the Lord, and finally, teaching his family the mysteries of faith. It was all interesting, but perhaps one of the highlights of his talk was when he spoke about truth, and how we are so wrapped up in current mores, that we fail to get to the bottom line and see the absolute truth handed down in sacred Scripture.  
 As part of his talk, Mr. Broussard pointed out the increasing importance of women in the church and wondered if men were losing their roles as leaders in their families.  He continued to say that men should not give up their duties as spiritual guides for their families, but along with their wives, should focus on helping their families recognize both the meaning and value of scripture and the sacraments.  As society changes, we should not lose track of the importance of the male role in both the family and the church.  I would encourage men from our parish to take part in this event.         
Don Eagle
 
November 24, 2022 -Thanksgiving
  Many families celebrate thanksgiving by sitting around the table, and before the meal is served, each person gives their thanks.  Mom would appreciate that the meal all turned out on time and done to perfection.  Dad would give thanks for the boys coming home from the war safely (he actually did this for a number of years) and my brother and I would make up something quickly. Grandma Rose was the most memorable of all:  she would give thanks that she would be with us again this year, but you never know if she’ll be with us again next year.  She was 65.  We heard this for the next 27 years, and each year wondered if this was indeed her last year. What was not mentioned was the most important of all:  the thanks of a healthy, together family that was indeed blessed to be together.  After all the thanks were said, the turkey, mashed potatoes and rutabagas were cold, and the lefse was dried out.  My favorites were Grandmas Rose’s stuffing and Mom’s pumpkin and mince meat pies. There was no television, no watching the Macy’s parade and there wasn’t a lot of travel going on. And there was no such thing as a black Friday.  So, here we were, watching the snow fall, being family, sitting around the radio, and listening to Edgar Bergen.  Those circumstances brought us all closer together and Thanksgiving was a special time.  It truly gave us all something to be thankful for.  Thank you, God for those beautiful memories and for always being there for me.                                                                
Don Eagle

November 25, 2022 - Pre-Christmas
  Very soon we’ll be celebrating Christmas. Actually, many merchants have been celebrating Christmas since the 4th of July.  The Thanksgiving turkey has hardly cooled off before stores open their doors to early shopping, and the tree goes up, the lights go on, and Christmas becomes a designer’s delight.  It does make you stop and ponder what some of these Christmas items have to do with Christmas at all.  I mean, give me a break.  Red pickup trucks?  Clowns? Elves? Blue or shiny trees?  Peacock feathers?  No, long ago I zeroed in on the Nativity set.  It’s a simple but important statement of both the majesty and simplicity of the gift of the Father to his people.  There are so many simple, but eloquent images that become so meaningful —shepherds tending their flocks, the Maji following a star, the birth in a stable, rejection by Innkeepers, Herod, worrying about upsetting the status quo, Mary about to fulfill her role as mother and teacher, Joseph as guardian and protector. These are the real images of what Christmas is all about. So before the decorating goes up, I will locate our Nativity set and put it up first.  Then I will explain to any small children what’ s happening there.  I will emphasize to young adult children the importance of this special night.  And I will share memories of simpler Christmases past with adult children.                                                            Don Eagle                     

November 26, 2022 - Christmas
  I have several Nativity sets, but one very favorite one, and a favorite memory of another. My favorite one depicts a 6th grade Christmas pageant, and under the robes you’re likely to see tennis shoes and Mary Janes. One of the kids is at the top of a ladder trying to put the star in place.  One of the girl “angels” sits on a hay bale, her wings and halo slightly askew, and the three boy kings seem to be more interested in exploring what’s in their treasure chests.  It’s probably the most charming set I’ve ever seen, and so true if you’ve ever seen a 6th grade Christmas play. But I can’t ever forget my memory of my seven-year-old self, giving all the Nativity figures a ride around the bottom of our Christmas tree in my electric toy train.  The Holy Family occupied a flat car, the Three Kings had accommodations in the hopper car, the shepherd and his sheep were stuffed into a boxcar.  Nobody could fit into the caboose.  So, around and around they went, dodging low hanging ornaments, having the ride of their life.  Faster and faster they’d go, under bridges made up of wrapped packages, over tons of wires and plugs, narrowly missing my Dad’s tree stand, which he reinvented every year from old Canada Dry wooden crates.  The figures and the train have long disappeared, but the memories and the delight linger on.  I think Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus were looking over my shoulder, laughing and enjoying the delight this brought to me.                                                  Don Eagle
 
November 27, 2022 – A Christmas Letter
When blossoms flowered mid the snow,                         
Upon a winter night,                                                                                                                                                            Was born the Child, the Christmas Rose
The King of Love and Light
Years ago I wrote a letter to my father, which he loved so much he shared with a local newspaper.  It was later published annually at Christmastime. It started out like so:  “As I tucked Jenny into bed, my favorite Christmas song came on, and for some reason it reminded me of you…”. The song happened to be “The Christmas Rose” and I interspersed the lyrics into each line of my letter.  I described memories of him walking in the snow, and singing in St. Olaf’s choir. The letter continued:  “There are a good many things that I have to be thankful for, and one of them is you.  From you, I inherited patience and an ability to get along with others, a love of music and a desire to be my own man.  And I hope a certain kindness.   You are a decent man, and in today’s, world, that is an accomplishment. You are a peace-loving man, and a devoted one as well.  You have character and a solid, moral fiber.  God knows we never say the things we really want to say, maybe it’s because we go through life in our own little worlds.  But tonight I’d like to pause, Dad, and say how much I think of you.  And how I think of you, and that you are both loved as a father and admired as being a good man.”  See you at Christmas.  Your loving son, Don.”
Don Eagle

Reflections for Nov. 14-20,2022

November 14, 2022 - A Movie Genre

For the past decade, the ‘apocalypse’ genre has been popular in film and television.  My attitude toward these shows is strongly influenced by whether any actual science might support the premise, so I am usually not a fan.  Underlying the narrative of many of these, though, is the meaning of relationships in the face of catastrophe.  I didn’t think any of these movies would elicit reflection until I viewed, “The Day After Tomorrow”. 
The interactions during the film made several impressions on me. 

The actions and persistence of the main character reminded me that each moment I spend with those I love means something. Those times should have first priority.   Matthew 6:21: ‘For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be”.  Where do I want my heart to rest?  Only I can recognize what I hold as my treasure and where I have placed my heart. This further reminds me of how Jesus never gives up.  He provides instruction for me to thrive in the face of adversity.    His persistence in reaching out to me with great effort and at great risk and sacrifice, for my salvation, is unparalleled.  His pursuit of me, as my Savior, is unrelenting.  There is no step He will not take in seeking me out.  Clearly, I am His treasure, and His heart lies within me, and mine with Him, now and someday for eternity. 
Ray Frink

November 15, 2022 - Adios, Goodbye, and Aloha

You might wonder where this title came from.  The words certainly are from different parts of the world.  I grew up in a largely Hispanic neighborhood.  Many of my classmates and many of my friends were 2^nd or 3^rd generation Americans from Mexico or Central America.  Thinking back on these times, the parting expression, adios, came to mind.  Adios, when translated to English, means: to God.  Goodbye is a late 16^th century contraction of: God be with you.   Aloha, translated from the Maori language means love, compassion, and kindness and is used as both a welcome greeting and an expression of parting. 

All three of these greetings contain the essence of God, the essence of love.  We use these expressions automatically without reference or consideration of what we are really saying.  Imagine the impact on anyone as they are leaving that you are handing their welfare over to God. You are asking God to care for them.  The first words of welcome or the last words of parting are an expression of love, compassion, and kindness. 

In my family, there are other expressions:  “Take Care”,  “Drive Safely”, which was my Dad’s favorite; or to my sons, “Be Good”.  All these expressions of leaving are a blessing.  I will try to remember, the next time I part company with anyone, that I am giving a blessing and a grace, though they may not know it. 
Ray Frink

November 16, 2022 - One Without the Other
           
Our parish is rich in couples who have been married for many years, including my own of over 4 decades.  All you need do is look around at any Sunday mass to see them.  They typically enter together, sit together unless one is ministering, and perhaps show affection at the Sign of Peace, the pandemic notwithstanding.  They receive Eucharist together, some pausing to receive simultaneously.  My dad used the expression that he and my mom, and others like them were two peas in a pod, an apt expression about filling a space and making it complete.  My own parents were married for over 50 years, until my mother’s death. 
           
It is common to say that in couples like this tone member is not complete without the other; you can’t fully be yourself without the other.  Henri Nouwen reminds me in his writing that the same is true of the two great commandments:  To love God with your whole heart, whole soul, and whole mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself.  Nouwen writes: “It is following the first commandment that asks us to give everything we have to God that makes the second commandment truly possible.”  If I fully love God and know that I am fully loved, only then can I love my neighbor with all their quirks, irritants, idiosyncrasies, and histories and in loving my neighbor, only then am I truly demonstrating in real time my love for God. 
Ray Frink

November 17, 2022 - A Question Revealed

I am pretty good at Trivial Pursuit, the game that is both interesting and frustrating at the same time.  On one occasion my younger son asked me, “How do you know all this stuff?”  My response gave rise to what my family thinks should be the five-word phrase on my gravestone, “Everything in Life is Interesting”.  This phrase came to mind recently when I read the introduction to Busy Lives & Restless Souls, a book discussed in the parish series.  In the introduction, the author reveals a profound moment for her when she saw God in each of a series of unrelated events.  She realizes that God is in all things and everything in life is holy.        

When I read that, I thought perhaps everything in life is interesting to me because God is in all things, and I just didn’t realize it.  Did a truth of my life just get explained and it’s been there the whole time but I was too busy, preoccupied, or simply not able to see it?   I just thought it was my curiosity.  I knew something was there, I just didn’t know what it was.  Ironically, the realization that God is in all things is fundamental to the teachings of the St Ignatian spirituality I was exposed to in both high school and college.  Sometimes knowing about something, knowing the details and explanations, is not the same as experiencing and learning the wisdom, the deeper meaning, of it. 
Ray Frink

November 18, 2022 - Walls

When recently eating a triple chocolate cookie, having just been thinking about the Trinity, another three came together for me.  This was a confluence of my son’s need for a new backyard fence, a Robert Frost poem written in 1914 that I like called “Mending Wall”, and current political debate. 

“Mending Wall” is a poem written more like prose.  It contains the well-known proverb, “Good fences make good neighbors”.  It tells the story of two neighbors who meet once each spring to repair the stone wall separating their fields.  This year, one neighbor questions why the two of them do this. 
“Before I built a wall I’d ask to know,
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.”
There is no need for the wall.  There are no animals to contain.  One side has dense pine forest and the other an apple orchard.  Yet one neighbor insists on maintaining the wall in that stretch also. Robert Frost speaks of a darkness that envelops the wall builder.  He notes that there are forces in nature that bring walls down.   Jesus’ message equally brings light into darkness and brings down walls.  His message of love of neighbor does not allow for divisions whether literal or figurative.  If I am part of the Body of Christ, should I have the figurative walls I create?  Jesus spoke to Samaritans, Pharisees, tax collectors, Centurions, rich, and poor.  I believe in a Catholic, meaning universal, church. So did Jesus.
Ray Frink

November 19, 2022 - All God’s Children

My father-in-law, Pat, died recently.  It reminded me of the passing of my own father, Ray, 15 years ago. They were very different men.  Born on opposite coasts 15 years apart, they had different educational experiences with very different lives and careers.  They both lived through the deprivations of the depression and one experienced the horrors of war.  They both married and provided for their families.  My father-in-law was much more successful by societal terms and they had different experiences of their faith.
           
Ray was a convert to Catholicism.  Pat was born into a Catholic family.  My dad could recite in order the books of the Lutheran bible from memory.  He had some Sunday school training. Pat grew up with Catholic teaching and traditions and continued these in his family until circumstances caused him to stop practicing his Catholic faith. Both men are children of God. 

Jesus chose unschooled fisherman and skilled accountants to be his apostles.  Likely some disciples were educated and some illiterate.  It made no difference.  Christ taught all who listened to Him how to live the two great commandments and expected all who heard him to act appropriately.  Ray and Pat did.  St Paul reiterates this when he tells the new Christian communities to embrace the rich and poor, the popular and the marginalized, with the love and requirements of Christian living.  Pat and Ray were always on equal terms in God’s loving eyes.  They can now share their earthly times with each other as brothers in Christ.
Ray Frink

November 20, 2022 - Eternal Life

My father-in-law was elderly and passed away from the ‘dwindles’.  He had some medical problems, none of them terminal, but the combined effects greatly reduced the quality of his life.  Though he was raised a Catholic and practiced his faith for many years, circumstances and choices caused him to no longer believe in God.  He was a thoughtful man and claimed to be agnostic.  As his life approached an earthly end, he demonstrated his love by asking for assurances that his wife would be cared for (that is assured) and that the spouses of his children would continue to take care of their partners (guaranteed for my wife). 
           
Confronted with his mortality and the mortality of friends, acquaintances, and celebrities, I have considered my own.  I know neither the time nor place.  So, what shall I do? 
Henri Nouwen says: “The great mystery of the spiritual life-the life in God- is that we don’t have to wait for it as something that will happen later.  Jesus says: ‘Dwell in me as I dwell in you.’  It is this divine in-dwelling that is eternal life.  It is the active presence of God at the center of my living- the movement of God’s Spirit within us-that gives us the eternal life.”
If you find me thanking you for being in my life, know that it is an expression of gratitude and joy for the earthly life I have had, have now, and will have.  I will be allowing God’s in-dwelling spirit to flow out in my words.  
Ray Frink

Reflections for Nov. 7-13, 2022

November 7, 2022 - Chapel of the Bones
The Capela dos Ossos (Chapel of Bones) in Évora, Portugal is a small interior chapel located next to the entrance of the Church of St. Francis. The Chapel was built by monks in the late 16^th century to relocate the bones of thousands of souls who had previously been buried in medieval cemeteries in the area.  Évora was wealthy and growing and the bones were removed to allow the land to be used for other purposes.  The chapel is a stark contrast to the elaborate cathedrals of the same time period in Europe. The interior walls are completely covered with human skulls and bones.  “Nós ossos que aqui estamos, pelos vossos esperamos,” “We bones are here, waiting for yours” is inscribed on the entry to the chapel and a beautiful altar and crucifix are the only things illuminated in the room.
 
As we stood in awe in the chapel, surrounded by the bones of thousands of souls long gone to their rest, I felt a deep sense of our shared humanity. We are created in Gods image, yet made from earth, dependent on God’s breath of life…bodies that are vulnerable and temporary. We die; we leave our bones behind that will eventually become dust. From dust we return to dust… I am, through God’s grace, fragile, beloved, and holy. The bones of all the departed wait for mine. I depend on God for life here on earth and eternal life that is to come.
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 8, 2022 - A Lesson from Cork
Cork… not the city in Ireland, but the kind that keeps your wine fresh, that comes from trees.  We had a chance to learn about cork during our recent trip to Portugal, which is the largest producer of cork products. They make all kinds of things from cork—shoes, purses, and decorative items.  The cork is a fire resistant, layer of protection that grows on top of the bark of a particular type of oak tree. The best quality cork is produced if the layers are removed every nine years.  The layer must be removed carefully, so as not to injure the soft, inner bark. Then the cork is softened in hot water to make it flexible so it can be formed into many wonderful, useful things.

Learning about this prompted me to think of lessons for my spiritual life. When I reflect on my life, I think about the protective layers I’ve built up over the years. Some were useful for a time, and some were not. Some served my growth for a while, some inhibited growth. I can see where God used people and experiences to remove old layers that I no longer needed, even as I clung to them. These old layers were sometimes immature beliefs about God or narrow views about other people. God softened the old layers to make room for new perspectives and to further my growth. God’s pruning is challenging sometimes, but his timing and precision help me reach my full potential.
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 9, 2022 - God as the Master Musician
I saw a heartwarming scene recently. A music school had set up a piano in the middle of a busy town square, and its talented college students were playing as people curiously wandered over. Then the pianists began inviting young children to join them on the piano bench. The children, many of whom had never touched a piano before, were shown three or four notes to play in succession. The accomplished musician played beautiful chords and complicated sequences to accompany the simple melody. When the children played the wrong notes, the pianist would adjust so that the initial dissonance transformed into a new melody. The master musician then gently retaught the sequence, the whole time smiling warmly at the child.  We were all spellbound.
I think God does that with our lives. God accompanies me in my small creative endeavors. He turns my attempts into beautiful music, and when I fail at something he opens new doors and new opportunities.  He helps me learn to trust my efforts, to take risks.  He accompanies me through life, holds my hand, and supports my melodies. Often though, I forget and think I have to do everything myself. Or I think I know how the melody should go, in spite of God’s leading.  I wonder how much easier and fulfilling life would be if I could always follow the master…
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 10, 2022 - Culture as Gift and Challenge
At Mercy Center, I’m helping with a program that is preparing bilingual/bicultural spiritual directors to serve our Spanish-speaking community.  It is an honor to be a part of this group, and it challenges me to think about how culture influences our faith.  I believe our faith is influenced by the culture in which we grow up. I think the challenge is not to view our faith and culture as synonymous.  For example, does my faith value being independent and achieving status and possessions?   Uh oh…those might be cultural values, but not Christian ones. Is my image of Jesus and Mary very European? Or am I comfortable with a Jesus who is brown or black?  I’ve learned that being spiritually and culturally aware means being comfortable with a variety of ways of praying, of understanding my call to discipleship. I appreciate difference as a gift from God.  I value prayer and scripture in different languages and different styles of music. To recognize that my brothers and sisters in Christ come from all over the world and represent a multitude of ethnicities, languages, and life experiences helps me appreciate how much God loves diversity.  In nature, it is diversity that protects life for the future.  When we consistently plant the same crop, it is more susceptible to disease or insects.  When we endanger the diversity of habitats, we pay a price. How do we ensure that our faith community benefits from the diversity of cultures, gifts and experiences that are part of God’s gift to us?
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio
  
November 11, 2022 - The Church Is not a Building
Europe is full of large cathedrals. Some were built as early as the 12^th century and others in the 15^th and 16^th centuries.  The cathedrals are often full of priceless art work and are beautiful examples of Romanesque, Gothic, Baroque and Rococo architecture.  They are full of intricate carvings covered in gold leaf—some altar pieces contain 800 pounds of gold…from the conquest of the Americas.  They represent the power of the church and the royalty of the day.  And…many of the churches function more as museums than as active parishes.  People talk about the falling numbers of active Catholics, and Christians in general, in Europe. The United States is experiencing some of the same challenges. 
While this is disturbing in some ways, I wonder if we are being invited to see where the Holy Spirit is calling us in new ways, outside of our buildings and our limited ways of experiencing Church.  “The Most High does not dwell in houses made by human hands.” (Act 7:48) Perhaps the Catholic Church which was once very Eurocentric is being invited to look to leadership from other parts of the world. I feel excited by the prospect of a more inclusive, universal Church that listens to the Gospel proclaimed in the small villages in African, Asia and Latin America, a Church that values the powerless as disciples and prophets.
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 12, 2022 - Learning to Listen as We Journey Together
I appreciated Kurt Peterson’s mention of Braver Angels in his reflection a couple weeks ago.  I just happened to be reading the book, I Never Thought of It That Way, by Mónica Guzman, one of the leaders of Braver Angels, the group dedicated to listening across our divisions.  Some ideas in the book that spoke to me are:  Be genuinely curious when talking with another person about what they think and how they got there.  Understand that everyone’s reasoning and beliefs make sense to them.  If we walk in their shoes, we will better understand why they think as they do. “We don’t listen with our ears, we listen with our whole biography” says the author. Our life experiences filter our listening. I think that also applies to speaking. 
Genuinely listening to understand another is not common, and not easy.  More often while we are “listening,” we are critiquing the other’s thoughts and planning our responses. 

I think Pope Francis’ Synod also focuses on genuinely listening to one another and listening to the Spirit that moves among us. I am called to journey together with the people of God, in all our diversity.  Even as Catholics, we may feel divided at times.  How much better would it be if I learned to listen to others with genuine curiosity rather than with a prepared counterpoint?  Just as Jesus called a surprising group of diverse characters to be disciples, perhaps I will hear the Spirit speak in surprising ways through those with whom I adamantly disagree.  
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio

November 13, 2022 - Soul Friends
I am thankful for so many blessings in my life, but one blessing that particularly stands out after the challenging past couple of years is the gift of soul friends.  “Soulmate” is commonly used to talk about finding that one, special person that someone is meant to be with, but I’m thinking about something different. I’m thinking about the special friends with whom I can share myself unconditionally—my fears, my sorrows, my times of shame, as well as my joys and celebrations.  They are the friends that most mirror Jesus to me.  They know when to just sit and listen; they don’t try to fix me. They know my shadows and accept them. With soul friends, I can be vulnerable.  I can be my whole, authentic self—no filters, no pretenses.  When I’m honest, I realize how rare that is.  I go through so much of life thinking about what others expect of me, what people will think. I measure my worth by people’s acceptance or rejection.  Jesus modeled how to be a soul friend.  He first offered unconditional love and healing, before he challenged people to change their lives. Rather than condemn, he asked reflective questions that raised people to their own worthiness.  I wonder how different our relationships would be if we were better soul friends to each other.
Renee  Regacho-Anaclerio




Reflections for Oct. 31-Nov. 6, 2022
October 31, 2022—Needing God

When my daughters initially heard about their overnight class field trips, they both begged me to chaperone their trips. I was so excited! But shortly into the school year, Grace started begging me not to go. She said I would be too embarrassing! While I take issue with being called embarrassing (I AM FUN!), I recognize that this is an age-appropriate feeling as she establishes boundaries and grows into herself. My kids are reaching the age where they don’t need me for everything.  I hold both sadness for the end of that part of our lives, and joy that they are becoming independent people. I know that as my daughters grow, they will rely on me less, but will also still need me in new and different ways. As always, this relationship between parent and child makes me reflect on the relationship I have with God—and that God has with me. How many times have I thought that I didn’t need God, only to find myself running back to him? How long has He waited for me to recognize that I do need him? Thank you, Lord, for your patient and enduring love, and for waiting for me even when I said I didn’t need you.
Erin Gallawa

November 1, 2022—The Rule of Three

There is a rule in running that if you think about something three times, you ought to stop and address it. For example, if you feel a rock in your shoe, you can ignore it once. You can ignore it twice. But by the third time, you better do something about it! I have started to apply that principle to my life. When things won’t get out of my head, I need to address them. I think about all the messages that God is sending to me and the various ways he nudges me to hear him. When I hear the voice once, do I ignore it? How about the second time? And the third? Sometimes I need the reminder to be present to God’s words, so now I am counting. One… two… three… I hear you, Lord!
Erin Gallawa

November 2, 2022—Big Houses
Sometimes I think about my house, with its 3 bedrooms and a playroom and its spacious backyard with a teeter totter. We have all this space that we purchased for young kids—young kids who’ve grown into young women, and who will leave this home and its rooms empty. We build and buy houses to fill with potential. We dream of nurseries for unborn babies, islands for our loved ones to gather round, backyards where will we host summer barbecues and graduation parties. We think of how grandkids will come back to read the books our children left decades ago. We hope that the walls will be filled with joy. When I look around my neighborhood, what I see are big houses that are mostly filled with quiet. But this should not be reason for sadness. We know from scripture and experience that there is a season for everything. Just as in our Church, most moments are ordinary. Many days in the church building are dark and quiet. But when we slow down to reflect, we hear the echoes of the past—the baptisms, the weddings, the funerals, the Sunday celebrations. And we look forward to the future, when we will gather again to fill the space with love, hope and joy.
Erin Gallawa

November 3, 2022—Ring

One of my kids recently asked me what the word apostolic meant. I explained how “apostolic” points to our connection through history right back to Jesus himself. The apostolic nature of the Church is such that we know that the Catholic faith comes to us from the very apostles who heard the words from the mouths of Christ! But that is a textbook answer that doesn’t necessarily mean much to a child. A few days later I was making the bed when the sheet caught for a moment on the ring I wear on my right hand. I borrowed this ring from my mother on my wedding day. It is the ring she wore all my life until the day she gave it to me. It is the ring she got from her grandmother, who wore it for a lifetime before I was even born. I have wondered which of my daughters might want to wear this ring next, to carry on the memory of my great-grandmother who came from Spain to San Francisco and who I remember now, though I never met her, because of something handed down through generations.
I have never seen Jesus, neither have my parents or my grandparents, but the faith, like my ring, has been handed down, to be remembered and lived today.
Erin Gallawa

November 4, 2022—Wet healing

Earlier this year I fell while running. That is actually not surprising… I fall a lot when I run! But this particular time was the first time that needed medical attention. There was a hole in my hand and inside that hole there was a rock that I could not get out. So I made a 6:00am visit to the ER where the doctor pulled a good sized stone from my palm and then told me he couldn’t do much for the wound. He explained that if I let the wound dry, it might heal quickly but would leave a scar. The alternative was to let it heal wet. I had never heard of this before, but I decided to try it. I won’t lie… it was a pretty gross process. But it was also fascinating, as there was never a scab over the hole in my hand. It took a lot more care than other wounds I’ve had. I had to tend to it daily and watched it heal over weeks. It never looked like it would be able to close, but in time, it did.

In our relationships with God and others, we have many opportunities to practice healing. I find that it is often easier to just let emotional “wounds” heal the quick way. My natural tendency is to avoid conflict, so I would rather take the quick healing, even if it leaves a bigger scar on the relationship. I wonder what tender care would do for those moments? I think reconciliation is like this—an open baring of our wounds to allow a slow and tender healing from our loving Creator. As I move through my life, I pray that I can nurture my wounds—both physical and emotional—with tender, loving healing.
Erin Gallawa

November 5, 2022—A Hidden World

This summer we traveled to Washington, DC and my girls got their first experience using the underground metro. It was fun to watch them learn to love underground transportation as much as I do. Obviously, I love the convenience of travelling by metro, but that isn’t what I love most. I am always most amazed with the idea that there is an entire world below the earth’s surface. Beneath the feet of millions of people around the world, there are tunnels and trains and people, an entire transportation metropolis that is dynamic and alive! Yet from above, it is easy to forget that it exists. We’ve all heard not to judge a book by its cover, but the idea of an entire transportation ecosystem below my feet really challenges me to look beyond what is in front of me. Behind the walls of every home, inside the cover of every book, under the ground of major cities, and deep within the heart of every person, is an entire world that we cannot see. I pray that my mind and heart always be open to seeing what God has placed before me!
Erin Gallawa

November 6, 2022—Singing
My children’s theater program recently had a singing class for adults. I joined, excited to sing again after 20 years away from any real singing experience. What I didn’t know is that the class was preparing us to sing an audition song! By the end of the 6-week program, we were encouraged to stand in front of the entire group and sing as if we were auditioning for a show. The night we sang, I was overcome with a feeling of awe in the presence of these women. With one exception, there were no professionally trained singers. We were just a group of middle-aged moms with a joy for singing, brought together by the shared passion of our children. One by one, the women stood up and courageously sang. There were wonderful singers and nervous singers and singers who would not make eye contact. There were forgotten words and some flat notes. I was humbled and blessed to be present to such vulnerability. These women who were previously strangers to me had become my community. In that community we found a place to safely stand up and share our voice.

I believe that God intended for us to live in community with one another, where our gifts can be shared and we are safe to be ourselves. I am grateful for the many communities in my life, including my new singing community and the one here at SS Peter and Paul, where I have always been free to be me!
Erin Gallawa


Reflections for Oct. 24-30, 2022
October 24, 2022 - Cooking
Those who know me know I love to cook but I am not sure if they know why I love to cook. I enjoy food and the flavors one can create in making a meal, but it is about the joy that a well-cooked meal brings to people. Gathering at a table with friends and family sharing a meal together is what it is all about. Cooking the recipes that have been handed down through the family helps keep alive the memories of our loved ones in our hearts. And when learning to cook a dish from another culture and enjoying their food, we experience their culture. Cooking can also bring together total strangers. One time we were at Boeger Winery for a shrimp boil. There were about 50 or more people all together at this long table. We were eating and talking with strangers and at the end we were no longer strangers. That is what sharing a meal does. Jesus knew that gathering to share a meal is so important to us not only to receive Him for our spiritual nourishment but to connect us together as a family of God. No matter where you are you can go to Mass and share the Eucharistic meal together and be part of that family.
Kurt Peterson  
 
October 25, 2022 – Special Powers
The popular series “Stranger Things” is about a secret government funded facility that was developing children to have special powers. The children are known by their numbers. 11 is a young girl who escapes from the facility and is befriended and protected by a small group of kids from the nearby town. It is through her friendship with these kids that she learns how to control her powers and understand the meaning of love. Before she escaped something happened where she, through her anger, created a breach between our world and what is called the Upside Down. It is a dark parallel of our world that is now trying to take our world over. Through the course of the series 11 learns that she can use her powers to repair the breach and send back the evil to the Upside-Down world.

Like 11 we have done things in our past that have created a breach or wound, which we call sin, that allows darkness to come into our world. Unlike 11 we do not have special powers, but we do have something greater, we have Christ living in us. And it is through the Holy Spirit that our wounds are healed. It is through us asking for forgiveness that we push the darkness back into the void and again live in the light.  
Kurt Peterson
 
October 26, 2022 – Remembrance
There is a song we sing at 5:00 Sunday called Remembrance by Matt Maher. It is a beautiful song with some great imagery. It reminds us that our faith, especially during Mass, is not passive but very much active. We may be sitting but we are mentally and spiritually moving through the Mass until we have reached our goal, the Eucharist. I ask all of you to take the time to listen to the words, especially the refrain.
When we remember you – our remembrance leads us to worship
And as we worship you – our worship leads to communion
We respond to your invitation – We remember you
It is through our full participation that the Holy Spirit leads us forward into a deeper commitment to Christ. And it is in coming together as a community of believers that we accept His invitation to be fed by His Body and Blood, preparing us to take up His call to go out into the world just as the apostles and others have done for over 2,000 years. To spread the Gospel to the ends of the earth. Or at least Placer County.
Kurt Peterson

October 27, 2022– What Came First?
I saw this sign in front of a Christian church “We believe in the Bible because of God, not that we believe in God because of the Bible.” I had to ponder that for a while to understand what that meant. For me it is comes down to the question of what came first. I know for me my belief in God started as a small quiet whisper. While I was in college taking classes in psychology, botany, and oceanography I was learning the intricate nature of our minds and how complex nature was. I started to realize that everything today could not be an outgrowth of random acts.  Nature is so intricate and the conditions for many things in nature to occur must be so precise that there had to be some kind of creative design. It was that realization that started my search for God and in reading the Bible I began to understand who God was. But it took my relationship with my wife, children, and my church community to help me understand what my role is in being part of the Body of Christ.  My faith did not begin from reading the Bible;  it first began with the quiet whispering of an inner self.  
Kurt Peterson

October 28, 2022 – Good or Bad
People say we do not listen to each other anymore, but I am not sure how often we ever have. When looking at human history, we can see that we are not normally in the mode of listening to each other which results in wars, social and religious persecution, slavery and much more. However, there are those times throughout our history when we try to understand each other. That is what Lincoln meant when he implored us to act on “the better angels of our nature”. Recently on CBS’s Sunday Morning there was a segment about a group called “Braver Angels” that brings conservatives and liberals together to talk about the division. At the end of these meetings both sides leave with at least an understanding of the other and many leave with new friendships because they see each other as loving people and someone they care about. They are no longer “them” or “those” but Jim or Jane. There isn’t a slogan or dogma on the other side but a person. A person who has dreams, goals, longings, and pain just like you or me. I never really understood what Jesus meant when He told us to love our enemy but maybe this is what it means. To love someone, I need to first know them and when I know them then they no longer are the enemy.
Kurt Peterson

October 29, 2022 – The Shortest Sentence in the Bible
Did you know there is one sentence in the Bible that only has two words?  It appears in the Gospel of John. Jesus is with his disciples when he hears about the death of his friend Lazarus. Jesus stays in place for 2 more days before they go to the family of Mary and Martha. When Jesus and the apostles get there, He sees how distraught Mary and the people are and scripture says, “He was deeply moved and troubled in spirit.” They took Jesus to where Lazarus was laid and in John 11:35 it says, “He wept.” Even the King of Kings who has been from the beginning of time wept. I think this is one of the most comforting passages in the Bible for me. We always talk about how Jesus came to save us and how when He will come again, and we will all live in Glory. But it is that one act where Jesus wept that is so meaningful. He did not weep for Lazarus because he was going to raise him from the dead. He wept for those that were hurting because he was hurting to. Even though Jesus knows the outcome, He still feels our hurt and weeps alongside us. He gets it and I know when I am in sorrow and grief, He is next to me and He weeps!
Kurt Peterson

October 30, 2022 – The Sound of Music
I recently watched a documentary called “The Sound of 007”. It is a fascinating documentary on how the original theme began and how well know it is. In practically any place in the world when people hear the first few chords it congers up the images of 007. Movies would not be as emotional as they are without the musical soundtrack. This is the same for Mass. The songs that are chosen by the music leader are meant to carry the theme for the Mass. The songs connect us to the readings and the message that is meant to be shared. I have had many people tell me how the music we play creates such emotion in them. For me one of the most incredible changes from the second Vatican Council was opening the Mass to be in the people’s language. I can get lost in hearing the readings and listening to the music. My worship becomes alive and there are so many different styles of music to choose from.  So the next time you come to Mass I invite you to open your ears and heart  and be drawn into the words and music of our faith.
Kurt Peterson



Reflections for Oct. 17-23, 2022

October 17, 2022 - ’Be Rich in What Matters to God’ (Ref. LK 12:13-21)

The context: Someone in the crowd approached Jesus asking to be an arbitrator. Then Jesus spoke to them the parable of the rich fool, urging them to guard against all greed.

I am writing this reflection while I am on the holy ground of Assisi reflecting on Francis who left everything to be rich in God. He found his richness for the rest of his life in others and in the universe. Francis was able to see the glory of God in every creature.

Whenever I read the parable of the greedy man, I laugh at the punchline. At the same time, I wonder, “What am I possessing which is not rich in the eyes of God? What do I keep for myself and am unwilling to share with others?” Sometimes, I realize I am not different from the rich fool. Though I know everything I have is transitory and for helping in the ministry, (for example, a vehicle) at times I find myself holding on to my talents and belongings which I should be sharing with the Lord and His people. We are blessed to be a blessing in the life of others. Keeping these possessions, whether they are talents or treasure, to oneself hinders the flow of grace into my life and I can fail to reflect on the generous nature of God.
Bony

October 18, 2022 -  Feast of St. Luke, Evangelist. ‘We Are Sent Out with a Mission’ (Ref. LK 10:1-9)

Jesus sent out 72 disciples in pairs with a mission of peace, curing the sick and proclaiming ‘the Kingdom of God is at hand for you’.

In this commissioning Jesus urged them not to be focused on themselves (they were asked to carry only very limited needed items) but to focus on the mission – being there for others. This is the Christ-mission given to every one of us as well; just as Jesus was given it from God the Father. God empowers us with his grace to fulfill this mission and we bring glory to his name (Mt.5: 16).  We are his humble servants doing God’s will. Remember that in LK 10/20 when these disciples later enthusiastically reported to Jesus about their mission, Jesus warns them not to take credit for their actions.  He assures them that their reward is in Heaven.

There is a temptation as a priest serving the parish as a leader to claim the credit for a good parish for oneself. Lord, forgive me the times I looked at these achievements as my own gain, when all of it was yours. Remind me that I am called to serve, (Mt. 20: 28), and give glory and honor in all I do, to you alone.
Bony

October 19, 2022 - The Unexpected Hour and Prudent Servant (Ref. LK 12:39-48)

Context: Jesus told his disciples to be prepared to receive the Son of Man anytime. Peter asked whether it is just for them or everyone and Jesus gave the parable of the prudent and imprudent stewards.

Yes, it is for all of us. Do we need to be reminded about preparedness? Do we not belong to him always? Our baptism comes with a responsibility for readiness which I forget sometimes in life. That readiness is a personal communion with Christ that leads to a responsibility to serve faithfully the people entrusted to me. A responsibility to others comes from our communion with them in Christ. And God rewarded the prudent servant by giving him charge of everything.

I am aware of the responsibility that comes with Baptism and I am constantly reminded of the responsibility of ministerial priesthood; that is, being available for the people entrusted to me for pastoral care.  It is my grave responsibility to be ready to serve faithfully and prudently.
For me, being a prudent steward means ‘being true to yourself and to others’ - How about for you?
Bony

October 20, 2022 - ‘The Anguish’ (Ref. LK 12:49-53)

“There is a Baptism with which I must be baptized, and how great is my anguish until it is accomplished!” (V.50)

The ‘Baptism’ that Jesus mentions here is his death - that is his entrusted mission - the divine call, the saving act, a sacrifice for the salvation of the world. Then, by expressing the intense feeling of distress he manifests his true human nature. ‘The anguish’ is not mere worries, rather, I think, it is mixed feelings of anxious waiting and a hope of fulfillment. Many of us may have experienced this in our lives. For example, when I hear about a surgery for anyone I know, I have the same feeling that the patient has, and the surgeon has. My mother and my siblings experienced it when Dad’s leg was amputated; we all went through the anguish, but later there was joy when Dad was with us for another ten healthy years.

I may feel tormented by small and big situations in life. But the greatest anguish I have is like St. Augustine, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” Guide me Lord to serve you with my whole heart.
Bony

October 21, 2022 ‘Interpret the Present Time’ (Ref. LK 12:54-59)

Context: Jesus indicated his generations’ ability to read the signs of weather and seasons but they were unable to interpret the present time, to judge for themselves what is right.

At first His followers failed to interpret the meaning of the presence of Christ himself. And they failed to interpret his message of conversion. How do I interpret our present time? Is there Christ in every moment of my life? He is our strength and power to love and to be merciful.  But we live in a world where we are vulnerable to manipulation of life values. The world may offer us values that appear to be moral and ethical, and have the potential to draw us away from Christian values.

Let me keep the values of Christ intact that I may not be infiltrated by inclinations - political, social, cultural, etc.  Lord, keep my eyes and ears open to see and hear only the truth, and grant us all the wisdom to read the present times.
Bony

October 22, 2022 Patient Gardner and Barren Fig Tree (Ref. LK 13:1-19)

The context: Referring to the two tragedies Jesus teaches the crowd that any suffering by external forces are not the consequences of sin. Calling for redemption He insists on repentance and gives this parable depicting the patient and merciful God.

This parable gives a hope of redemption. The call for repentance is always for the love-reunion and should not be due to fear of punishment. This reflects our relationship with God. Just as the gardener in the parable has a heart for the tree and wants to give it a chance to bear fruit, so God is the same with us. The tree has to respond to His compassionate heart and produce the fruit of love.

What really happens in my spiritual life is that I am relaxed, taking for granted the goodness of the Lord and I fall into habitual sins. It blocks me from experiencing the compassionate heart of God and I am not able to produce good fruits. I need to act instantly with repentance to embrace Him. Lord, thank you for your patience and giving me an opportunity to correct my life. Help me to remain in you and to bear much fruit (Jn 15: 5)
Bony

October 23, 2022 Tax Collector Attitude (Ref. LK 18:9-14)

Context: Jesus addressed the parable of a pharisee and tax collector praying in the temple area to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else. The pharisee boasts in prayer and despises others whereas the tax collector, bent down, prays for mercy.

Humble submission to God justifies the tax collector. In a later chapter Jesus chooses to stay in the home of Zacchaeus, another tax collector who sincerely repents. All I want is the attitude of these tax collectors. The posture, the focus, the humble submission, the true feeling of unworthiness and prayer for mercy are really an inspiration and model for all of us.

I have to confess, though I do not despise anyone, my eyes wander around the church during Mass. Sometimes I am displeased by someone’s action, questioning myself if that person is praying or not. Who am I to judge? After all, I am an unworthy person called to serve His people. And I am constantly inspired by the humility and devoutness of my parishioners.

Lord, I want to be your humble and devout child, a servant committed to serve.
Bony


Reflections for Oct. 10-16, 2022

October 10, 2022 - Forget?
I have to admit that there are times when I am either lazy or tired and I fall into bed without reviewing my day and thanking God for what has gone on.  That goes for other times of the day as well.  Numerous religious, spiritual counselors and friends remind me that there is a primacy involved throughout the day, nay, through all of life to acknowledge just how much I owe God. From my first waking breath to that last sigh of relaxation at night it is a duty to thank God for life and all of His gifts.  Sister Joan Chittister reminds me that I may forget God  at times, but that God does not forget me.  I exist not only because of my Mom and Dad but because God was a part of the equation also.  So the question is, what do I do about my forget- fulness?  Practice!  My dear departed Mom-in-law was a great example because she prayed about absolutely everything.  She told me that as soon as she opened her eyes in the morning she would thank God for giving her another day (but later in her life she said she questioned God about why she was still around).  And then she’d thank God not only for the good things of life but also the challenges she encountered.  So the answer to my question is indeed to do as she did and make it a habit to pray always.  To see God as a partner, or rather, to be God’s partner.  And so I remind myself:  Don’t forget.
Deacon David

October 11, 2022 – Pope John XXIII
At Mass today Saint Pope John XXIII  was remembered and memorialized.  He was Pope when I was accepted for baptism in the Catholic Church in 1960.  At the time I was accepted the Mass was still in Latin, everyone brought their own missal to read at Mass and Communion happened while kneeling at the altar rail, all very impersonal.  Since I had nothing to compare my experience with, I was gratified with the Pope’s aggiornamento, “…bringing the church up to date.” I wasn’t the only one who appreciated him as his encyclical Pacem in Terris (Peace on Earth) was widely appreciated not only amongst Catholics but also by people of other or no religion. He was a sort of model for me given his simple lifestyle and his expressed love for all people, not just the powerful or rich.  Some said that he was a father figure to the world and it is said that he lived such a simple life that when he died his personal fortune willed each of his family members the sum of $20.00.  This simple man brought openness to the Catholic Church that included possibilities for lay Catholics to live, not just practice, our faith.  Jane and I were able to go into the world as lay missionaries to share our gifts and talents because of the guidance of Pope John XXIII.  Our present Pope carries on in that same manner.  I remind myself to open up the doors and windows and don’t surprised at who or what comes in. 
Deacon David

October 12, 2022 - Autumn
A couple of weeks ago, September 21^st, brought a change of season.  The weather can’t make up its mind whether to be hot or mild, rainy or dry but I do enjoy the chance to go onto our patio and sit without getting fried.  The oak trees are shedding more than usual and the deciduous trees shower more leaves so that our green waste container will be full several times a month instead of empty most of the time.  The change of season puts me in mind of the season of my own life, just as God designed it.  Just as the sun brought new growth to the vegetation in spring and summer, so too with me.  The pale of my skin responded to the sun’s rays tanning me a bit though I have to say that my hair color didn’t respond to photosynthesis and stayed white.  Well, the tan is fading and I’ve retired my shorts for long legged jeans and will soon be wearing warm shirts.  All of this is just the outside of me.   I’ve noticed my inside  responding similarly, more energy in the spring and  slowing down some, taking the time to rest and recuperate in the fall just as the foliage does. Perhaps it is this time of year that God gives us the opportunity to realize the seasons of our lives and acknowledge the changes we experience as we note that the sap doesn’t rise as quickly as it once did…and that’s okay since it is surely God’s plan for us. 
Deacon David

October 13, 2022 - Noise

A couple of months ago a large plot of land in our neighborhood was sold to a housing developer. Since then the ground has been shaking with the rumble of giant earthmoving machines tearing down many old growth oak trees and digging up the underlying granite rock with the aim to level homesites for construction.  The progress has been slow and exceedingly noisy, sometimes six days a week.  This of course gets me to think about the noise of my own life.  I started out pretty raw with the same sort of hard rock substrata requiring much work to get ready for development.  It hasn’t been a quiet process.  At the beginning I was sure that I was fine “as is” but I was finally persuaded that my hard head needed some adjustment.  That groundwork took not just six days a week but every day.  Those who helped with the groundwork put up with a lot of noise stemming from my ignorance.  I admit that there is still noise in me that needs the quiet work of leveling the ground of my heart and soul. I think back on all of the people, lay and religious, who endured the noise of my life and helped me to find that quiet place inside myself to build a life that can withstand the noise of the world. 
Deacon David

October 14, 2022 - Work

Once again I find myself quoting Sister Joan Chittister as my starting point: “Good work is a human being’s contribution to the development of humankind and fulfilment of the universe”.  My first thought upon reading this is that it no longer applies as I’ve been retired from my “work” for twenty-two years.  And when I did my work I considered it a “…contribution to the development of….” I was doing something that was needed to mend and reintroduce people to a society from which they’d been removed due to unlawful behavior.  But whoa, did finishing that work exempt me from continuing to relate with others, others who were for some reason not a viable or visible part of the community?  Honestly it took me some time to realize that with the ending of paid employment I was, as a follower of Jesus, still obliged to share whatever experience or expertise I’d gained throughout life.  I only had to look around me, particularly in the parish, to witness people, retired or not, who were giving of themselves to better others.  The ministries and activities developed and pursued demonstrated to me the truth of Sister Joan’s quote.  Doing, or rather, being a follower of Jesus doesn’t include the idea of “retirement”.  Each of us signs up for life, maybe not so inclusive of “…the universe” but certainly for the space we inhabit in it. 
Deacon David

 October 15, 2022 - Light

The song goes “..you are the light of the world”.  I enjoy hearing and singing that song but sometimes I don’t practice it.  When I think of the biblical admonition NOT to hide my light under a bushel basket I ask:  what, why, how?  You and I know, through our sacramental baptism and confirmation, that we have been blessed with a certain glow, a light that we are obliged to share as followers of Jesus.  When was the last time I can say that I did that?  Well, maybe at Mass at the sign of peace.  Maybe I was nice enough to let someone go first in the parking lot.  It pleases me when, either at church or in the community, someone graces me with a smile or a word of recognition.  It feels so good.  So maybe that is the simple answer to my question.  Give what I’ve got to lift up another person who may not be recognized or is in need of a kind word.  It doesn’t have to be “religious” but it has to be sincere. We have been endowed with a special light, a God given light, that is to be shared out of love with everyone.  Lord, please take me out from under the bushel basket.
Deacon David

October 16, 2022 - Persist

I sometimes hear people say, and sometimes I myself ask, why me?  There are many people who suffer, some of whom ask that question.   There are others who endure and remain silent. In today’s scripture readings at Mass we are told about two instances of persistence. In the first from Exodus, we are told about a war between tribes and how the Jews prevailed because Moses, with the help of others, was able physically to hold his arms up for an entire day.  So Moses, with the help of Aaron and Hur, kept the staff of God raised up so that Joshua and his army would win the war.  In the gospel reading from Luke, Jesus relates a parable that is closer to what I can understand.  The story involves an unjust Judge and a widow who went to the judge seeking justice.  Right away we’re made aware the judge was trying to ignore the widow, probably because she didn’t try to bribe him, but finally thought she might physically harm him.  She was persistent just as Moses was.  The lesson Jesus taught is that our prayers, as His chosen ones, should continue day and night.  God promises justice but asks the question “But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” I must seek justice without ceasing and know that faith will be answered. 
Deacon David









Reflections for Oct. 3-9, 2022
October 3, 2022 - The Grace in Giving
In the hospital stay immediately following my car accident, I was lovingly cared for by many skilled nurses.  I began to notice that after working with me, each nurse said “thank you” often before I could say it! This seemed so odd, because it seemed that the situation was backwards… I was the one that should be thanking them!  After reflecting on this, I realized that as humans we are created to live in community and when people graciously receive our gifts of time and treasure, we are grateful for the opportunity to make a difference. 
Jesus gave us a wonderful example.  He selflessly gave his body and blood in the eucharist as gift to us.  This is the ultimate “thank you” to his followers. 
Over the years, I have been so grateful for the opportunity to serve this parish.  To those whom I have served in some way, thank you! 
Darcy Wharton

October 4, 2022 - In Sickness and in Health
Like so many others, my husband and I said the words quickly at our wedding ceremony.  We promised “to be true in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, ‘till death do us part.”  Did we really know what we were saying?  We thought we did! 
I gradually discovered that the commitment to be there for one another in sickness and in health is a true gift.  When I came home from the hospital recently, I had no use of one arm and I was also in a neck brace.  In the first week or so, I needed assistance in almost every way, from meal preparation, to showering and dressing.  Knowing that I enjoyed blow drying and curling my hair each day, my husband graciously agreed to use a curling iron to style my hair so I could feel more “normal”.  This simple act made me smile and warmed my heart.  I don’t think either of us thought there would come a day when he would be my hair stylist, but our expectations rarely meet the reality of life.
Praise God for all of the supportive partners in our lives!
Darcy Wharton

October 5, 2022 - The Meaning of Suffering
Why does God allow suffering?  Some have said that the issue of why there is suffering is perhaps the most difficult spiritual question.  I know people who have lost their faith because they could not understand why God allowed life-threatening illnesses or a criminal act to take the life of a loved one. 
I, too, have struggled to find answers to the question of suffering. However, as I heard once from Fr. Brendan McGuire, “As I go through life, I understand God less but have experienced God more.”  This makes so much sense to me!   
In the times of my deepest suffering (physical or emotional), I have intensely felt the presence of God.  Perhaps it’s because when life rolls along without trouble, I can too easily forget my reliance on God.  When life shakes me up a bit and questions arise, it can be the perfect time to turn again to God for support.
Darcy Wharton

October 6, 2022 - L’Chaim- To Life!
After my accident, I discovered that I became even more grateful for the gift of life.  Time with friends and family has become even more precious and it seems more important than ever to show my gratitude because as other writers have mentioned, we never know how long any of us will be on this earth.
My husband and I have become friends with our neighbors at our vacation home in Truckee.  The couple shares many of our same values and we always enjoy our dinners together.  During a recent visit with them, the husband (who is Jewish) offered the toast “L’Chaim” which means “to life.  This Hebrew exclamation has apparently been used for 2,000 years and although I’ve heard that phrase countless times in the past, it now takes on special meaning.
So the next time you raise your glass, join me in offering a toast to “L’Chaim”…to life!
Darcy Wharton

October 7, 2022 - No Pain, No Gain
No doubt you have heard the phrase, “no pain, no gain.  I typically had heard the phrase in relation to pushing oneself to greater athletic ability. I honestly tended to resist the concept because I did not want to experience unnecessary pain.  After all, who wants more pain in life?
As a result of the physical therapy required after my accident, that phrase has taken on new meaning.  I am only able to progress in the use of my arm after uncomfortable and sometimes painful physical therapy and the subsequent exercises at home.  There truly is no gain without pain.  In a concrete way, I am able to see the results of leaning into the pain instead of avoiding it.
Perhaps when there is pain in my spiritual life, I will remember that Jesus set the perfect example.  The pain of the cross was followed by the resurrection.  As a baptized Christian, I can confidently trust the process.
Darcy Wharton

October 8, 2022 - Wrapped in Prayer
A few years ago, I was asked to facilitate a retreat for women who attend the First United Methodist Church in Loomis.  It was a wonderful experience and the retreat was enhanced by its setting at Zephyr Cove in Nevada.  I felt a connection with these women in a very short period of time, recognizing our unity in Christ.
Imagine my surprise when I began receiving get well cards in the mail after my accident from some of these women!  After hearing about my situation I immediately was included in a prayer chain.  When I heard about it, my heart was warmed.
Then a couple of weeks later, one of the women (who is a friend of mine) arrived to my office with a present.  The prayer shawl ministry had made me a prayer shawl.  Several women prayed over their crochet hooks and the yarn, and held me in prayer while they made me a crocheted blanket – a visible sign that I was “wrapped in prayer”. 

This gift is so meaningful to me, because it reminds me that prayer truly unites us all.  The boundaries of religion do not impede the love of God from shining through.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of prayer.
Darcy Wharton

October 9, 2022 - Your Faith Has Saved You
In the gospel story of the ten lepers (and the one who returns to give thanks), we discover that only one of the lepers returns to give thanks.  There is a line in that story that states, “one of them, realizing he had been healed, returned, glorifying God in a loud voice.” 
A few questions arise for me.  How did the other nine not know they were healed?  What was it in the experience of the one leper that allowed him to realize that he had been healed?  Although I don’t know for sure, I have a sense that he was a person who already was aware of God’s work in his life and could detect subtle shifts in the relationship.  If you have ever truly felt God’s healing within you, then you can relate to this man.  The only appropriate response is to “glorify God in a loud voice”. 
I would like to believe that the physical healing of the other nine lepers was the beginning of their faith journeys.  For the one who had journeyed with God and recognized God’s healing, Jesus said, “Stand up and go, your faith has healed you.”
What a generous God we have that meets us along the road and offers healing!  May I in turn, as the hands and feet of Christ, offer a healing presence to all those in need.
Darcy Wharton

Reflections for Sept. 26-Oct. 2, 2022
September 26, 2022 – Peaks and Valleys
Many years ago, while on retreat I was invited to complete a “life-graph” exercise, noting the moments in my life when I felt closest to God and the times when I felt farthest from God.  This exercise was tricky though, because it wasn’t simply about listing the happiest or hardest times.  In particular, I was called to examine a painful moment in my life when my husband and I suffered a miscarriage in our first pregnancy.  During this time, I remember being surprised by the fact that I wasn’t angry at God, and I didn’t feel far away from Him.  In fact, I felt God closer than I ever had before - He was grieving right along with us, because he had lost a child too!

It was through this exercise though, that I learned what it meant to say that “Our God of the mountain is also our God of the valley.”  This notion certainly doesn’t take away our suffering, or make it less confusing, but it helped me find God in the midst of it all.  I was able to feel an intimacy with a God who is not to blame for the suffering, but rather a God who can hold me and accompany me in my valleys. 
-Katie Maynard

September 27, 2022 – More Hugs
A long time ago, I was given a “Hug Coupon” by someone in my teenage years, and I recently found it in the zipper pocket of an old purse.  In that moment, it felt as though I had hit the jackpot, and I knew my girls were going to love the coupon.  Although they were preoccupied at the moment when I went to share the news, the moment I placed the coupon in front of them, they stopped to read the coupon…looked up at me with big smiling eyes and stopped whatever they were doing to give me a big hug.

The next thing I knew, one of our daughters was making a handful of hug coupons for her dad on Father’s Day, because she knew this was something too good not to be shared!  We could all use a hug coupon, because what it really affords us is the permission to stop what we are doing and simply embrace…connect…and let love wash over us.
-Katie Maynard

September 28, 2022 – Okay Google

A couple of years ago, we welcomed a “Google Home” into our household, and life will never be the same.  My daughters now have them in their bedrooms, and it’s been fun to hear them ask Google to play their favorite songs, ask about the weather, or to set an alarm.  I say that cautiously, because we have also found ourselves frustrated with Google when it just can’t get it right: it plays the wrong song, or it “can’t understand” our request, or it blares the alarm at full volume.  Google also seems to be picky depending on whose room I happen to be in: for example, Evelyn’s Google seems to only want to listen to her voice and needs to hear a “please” (which I actually love). 

Now, God is not like a Google Home, but it made me think about supplication in prayer.  My spiritual director used to say that “supplication, asking, even begging for what we most need cannot help but change us.”  It reminds us of our dependence on God and it is from that place of humility that we are changed.  I am often reluctant to pray this way, because it takes courage to ask for what I really need! 

It’s true that God might have a different song in mind, and it might be at 80% volume…but unlike Google, God already knows what I need before I ask, God takes me as I am, I don’t have to get the wording right, and He is not picky about my requests. 
-Katie Maynard

September 29, 2022 – Warmth
I learned the comfort of warmth from my mother as she would always wipe our hands and faces with a warm washcloth.  A cold washcloth or wipe would not suffice, because she knew that the warmth would bring us comfort.   She has also been known to throw a towel in the dryer for my kids (and me) before coming out of the shower, and although I am not always as good about the warm washcloths, I have tried to share some of this warmth with my own children.  Whenever my girls are around for a fresh load of sheets and towels to come out of the dryer, I will often call out “Warm Laundry Dump!” and the girls will run to the couch where I proceed to dump the laundry out over top of them.  It doesn’t matter what they are doing or how hot it is outside, that warmth is comforting to them, and they run to get it!

It makes me think how I can bring warmth to others, not necessarily in the form of warm linens, but in the warmth of my words, and my actions.  Warm it up!

-Katie Maynard

September 30, 2022 – Shake the Dust
“Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words – go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet” (Matthew 10:14). 
My father, who happens to be the wisest man I know, recently offered these words to me when I was struggling with a personal relationship.  These words contained both solace and challenge for me - nudging me towards a freedom that would come from letting go.

In Matthew’s gospel narrative, Jesus emboldened his disciples in their good work, but also cautioned them not to have their peace taken away from them.  If they did not encounter a sense of welcome or invitation, then they were encouraged to not only leave the town, but to shake the dust from their feet.  The shaking of the dust feels like the most challenging part, because it’s about true surrender…and that is really hard for me!  

Lord, I pray for the grace to meet people where they are, and the courage to step back, shake off the dust and keep walking when necessary.
-Katie Maynard


October 1, 2022 – Namaste
Recently, as we have been playing video games as a family, I discovered the power of the “yoga lady” as a Nintendo Wii character.  At first it was fun to laugh as she approached her battles with a front flip and a tree pose, but it became no laughing matter as she began to dominate her challenges! 
Now, in my own experience of yoga, I have not always been able to identify with the strength of this Nintendo yoga character.  In my first practices, I mostly felt wobbly in my poses and struggled to find dignity as I would lose my balance, or fall on my face during a plank.  Admittedly, in trying to greet the light in others (namaste), my own light felt a bit unsteady.

Eventually, I found that strength in yoga comes through patience and repetition, and perhaps more importantly through the breath.  It feels true in life that strength often requires some stages of wobbliness, before our light finds its power. 
-Katie Maynard

October 2, 2022 – The Altar
My daughter Noelle is high energy, and her speed in life is fast, but those who have the fortune of knowing her, know that she brings joy to everyone she meets (I’m biased I know).  With this energy though, she can sometimes struggle with a lack of focus as she rushes through tasks.  The interesting thing however, is that this does not appear to be her limitation as an altar server. 

I am in awe when she serves at the altar because she is not afraid.  She is laser-focused, knows exactly what comes next, and has become a leader in a very short amount of time.  It is beautiful that she has found peace in the movement of the ritual and liturgy through her service.  I suppose I should not be surprised that being on the altar brings about focus and clarity for her, as she sets and serves the table of the Lord. 
-Katie Maynard

Reflections for Sept. 19-25, 2022
September 19, 2022 – Empty Spaces
The philosopher Emanual Kant argues that we are born with a predisposition to experience things through the filter of time and three-dimensional space.  It’s just the way humans are wired; we cannot experience anything other than that.  Science is based on this wiring and allows us to know a lot about the world, but it cannot tell us the reality of what exists in empty space. 

I had assumed that this empty space was actually empty.  Oh I knew there were invisible things like dust mites, germs, and gases that make up “air”, but the idea that there could be other things I am incapable of knowing or identifying in the aisle right beside me was ridiculous.  Then I thought about God!  The Baltimore Catechism taught me that God is everywhere.  I never doubted that, but I had somehow cheapened that belief to mean that He was over and above me, present but somehow at a distance. The idea that God was existing literally in that aisle next to me, was new.  I had often felt His presence but that was an awareness in me, not a reality about the space next to me. Then I learned that the cells in our bodies also have lots of empty space in them.  Could God be there also, actually residing in the very cells that make up who I am?  Of course He is, because He is everywhere!  He is the God of empty spaces.
Jane Haproff
 
September 20, 2022 - The Body
During last week’s severe weather conditions David and I closed ourselves up in our air- conditioned house and binge watched reruns of hospital dramas.  Wow!  There are so many things that can go wrong with the body. I thought about St. Paul referring to the Church as the Mystical Body of Christ and wondered why he chose that particular metaphor.  The body is certainly a unity of many differing parts each with different abilities and purposes, which sounds like the Church. But some of these parts are so hidden that I never even pay attention to them.  I want to explore the spiritual significance of some of these hidden activities of the body. For example, I rarely, if ever think about my spleen or pancreas, organs that filter my blood, clean out old cells and fight infection to name just a few of their activities.  Nor do I think about my hypothalamus that works as a control center keeping my body in a stable state. These organs when healthy do this all the time, whether I’m awake or asleep or want them to or not.  The reasoning ability that I treasure so much and which I use to govern my conscious choices is helpless here.  There is something both frightening and awe-inspiring about this for me.  And it places me squarely in the presence of God who designed this wonderous machine.  There He is… in the very core of my physical existence working away non-stop trying to keep me safe, and helping me function until he calls me home. 
Jane Haproff

September 21, 2022 – Compassion
As I think about the God who inhabits my very being,  I am reminded of the dialogue between Bishop Tutu and the Dalai Lama captured in the film  Mission:  Joy. (on Amazon Prime!). One is Christian and the other Buddhist, but they both believe that we are wired for compassion, that it is part of what it means to be human.  Once cultural influences are stripped away we discover that compassion remains.  Because compassion is basic to our humanity we can only experience happiness and joy when we engage with each other at that level.  Our culture teaches us that happiness is a bigger house, nicer car, more money, etc.  But their message is that if we fail to connect with each other with justice and mercy, listening to and even forgiving those who hurt us we can never by happy. They both agreed that it isn’t easy.  Compassion is like a muscle that must be strengthened through the exercise of prayer and meditation.

So, once again, I find something of God at work in me hidden at the cellular level: compassion.  And once again I am directed to find strength in quiet time with the God who is apparently so much more present in my life than I imagined as that child devoutly praying to be a saint.
Jane Haproff

September 22, 2022 - Relationships
Weeks ago my friend found her partner dead on his bathroom floor.  She and her partner were not married and did not live together.  She was divorced. After her son was accidentally shot her husband was lost in a grief that cost them their marriage. She refused to seek an annulment because she believed they had had a sacramental marriage.  And she would not remarry outside the church.  She was nearly crushed again by the circumstances of this more recent death.  She was angry at God.   I attempted to console her, saying it is okay to be angry at God because often it’s those closest to us who can cause the most anger.  She agreed with me and told me that after her son’s death she would go into the Church in the middle of the night (she was music director and had keys) sit in front of the tabernacle and scream at God, crying in anger.

I tell this story because it speaks to me about layers of relationship and where God is in all of it.  My friend retained a kind of relationship to the ideal that God called her to in her marriage. She was present to her partner through his illness, bringing God’s presence and care to him. She trusted her relationship with God enough to rage at Him for these untimely deaths. Then while watching the Queen’s funeral on TV she heard words of comfort that spoke to her. As she began to weep, a soft rain fell and she felt a holy presence.
Jane Haproff

September 23, 2022 - Preferential Option for the Poor
The weather conditions of a week ago combined with the drought caused me to think about what it must be like to be poor.  We live in air-conditioned comfort about five miles from the DeWitt Center where over one hundred unhoused people camp without water or shade.  An air-conditioned Welcome Center is about a mile from the encampment where bottles of water, a TV and charging stations are available.  No showers or laundry facilities.  The sheriff patrols regularly directing people to mental health and probation services, but the county does not offer more at the actual campsite worrying that might become permanent and offend the neighbors. 

In the early 70’s the Church adopted a position that said when competing interests come into play, those solutions that favor the poor must be chosen because not only did Jesus model that for us, he chose to be one of the poor.  So many gospel stories tell us that He is there in the lives of the poor…unhoused, dirty, thirsty, and neglected.  So I wonder how do I personally live this preferential option for the poor?  Do I choose policies that welcome Him into my neighborhood, or do I look the other way, offering prayers and charity, which is easy to do? I tell myself I’m a good person; I don’t rock the boat.  I lector and write reflections, surely doing what God has asked of me.  But please Lord, don’t ask me to welcome them (you) into my neighborhood!
Jane Haproff

September 24, 2022 - Memory(ies)
Our oldest son recently turned sixty.  David and I decided to put together a memory book for him, each or us identifying our favorite memories of his growing up.  It was difficult.  There were easy memories of his early years.  The memories got harder to recall in those middle years of junior high school and high school; years packed with children’s school events, sporting events, firsts jobs, proms, etc.  All of the things you think you will never forget, but that get buried in the busyness of a large family.  I grieved those lost memories.

As I think about the intensity of the feelings I had in trying to remember significant events for our son, I thought about God and what role memory might play with and for Him/Her.  Scripture describes God has having emotions, such as joy, anger, love.  He rejoices and is pleased and displeased.  God knows everything about me, but does He attach those feelings to individual, specific events in my life? Does He remember when I was unkind to Maria in seventh grade?  Or is His love so prevailing that it actually overrides specific memories so that God is just pure love in the end? I felt such intense love for my son, even though I could not recall all of the details of his life.  I’m guessing that that’s just a whisper of the kind of love God has for me, loving and forgiving at the same time the totality in of who I am, and not dissecting my life event by event.
Jane Haproff

September 25, 2022 - Circularity
Recently Fr. Bony built a homily around how Jesus is the host at the Eucharistic feast where he provides the food that is His body and then sends us out to be no longer His guests but His presence in the world, commissioned to be hosts now to other people. Soon after that at another Mass as I heard the words of the Eucharistic Prayer I recognized another circular relationship.  We entreat God to sanctify the gifts of bread and wine that we bring to the altar, then the words of consecration are said over them and they become the Body and Blood of Jesus. But this bread and wine is nothing but the ordinary work of our hands which is now God. Then Father offers Jesus to the Lord as a sacrifice.  Jesus, Lord himself, is offered to the Lord; God offers Himself as sacrifice to Himself!  I don’t think I ever fully realized what this all means. God takes the ordinariness of our life, blesses it and it becomes both spiritual food for us and sacrifice for us.  All these words have been part of my vocabulary all of my life.  But the reality of the meaning of what God has done for me is staggering.  These circles of meaning say so much about how God must love us.  I am left with the realization again:  Lord I am not worthy.
Jane Haproff

Reflections for Sept, 12-18, 2022

September 12, 2022—The Chosen

At Confirmation in our parish a few weeks ago, the Bishop encouraged our 80+ confirmandi to read the Bible.  I think a great addition to the Bishop’s thoughtful advice might be to encourage the confirmandi to also watch The Chosen. The Chosen is the first-ever multi-season TV series about the life of Christ.  Two seasons have been released with a total of 7 planned.

A contributor to the Jesuit publication, America, wrote: “The church and the faithful need this show. But in all the … education that has formed my faith, it never occurred to me that the apostles had full lives with families, jobs, commitments, and challenges, just like I do—and that Jesus disrupts all of that when he arrives.” 

When I was in formation to be a deacon, I had over three years of scripture study.  So, at first, I was reluctant to watch another movie about the life of Christ.  My wife, though, had never formally studied the Bible; and The Chosen provided a poignant perspective for her.  Together we binge watched Seasons 1 and 2 in under two weeks.  I found the series to be very faithful to the Gospels, but the stories were presented with some “creative license” to allow you to imagine that you were there.  I found Jesus very human, so his decisions involved questioning and trust and doubt.

Many of the episodes brought tears to our eyes.  Probably the most poignant was the conversion of Mary Magdalene.  Watching this series allowed us to experience Christ and the Bible in a whole new way.

Bob Leathers


September 13, 2022—The Four Gifts

A few weeks ago, Cindy and I saw the play, The Four Gifts, based on the book with the same name by Fr. Joe Bradley, a priest in the Archdiocese of San Francisco.  Presented at Hillbarn Theatre in Foster City, Fr. Joe was there himself for its final showing.  Imagine being a happy and dedicated young priest who gave wonderful homilies (and inspired some of mine!), inspired his students, offered hope when needed, and loved the people he served, only to find out that you had a short time to live unless you received a heart transplant.

No one would ever have guessed Joe Bradley would become a priest.  He was both an alcoholic and a drug addict.  Regretfully, he gave drugs to a friend who was injured in a car crash and later died.  Yet God called this man to be a priest.

God gifted Joe to (1) reclaim his faith, (2) become sober and be ordained a priest, (3) receive a new heart, and (4) have a new life.

Father Joe’s life offers me encouragement whenever I fall short.  Recently, a friend confided that he lost his temper with his mom who has early onset dementia.  I reminded him of the times I lost it with my own mom who also suffered from dementia.  Since we are human, God can do nothing with us if we are perfect.  No matter what our struggles are God calls us to new life whenever we fall short. 

Bob Leathers

September 14, 2022—Eucharist as Paradox
When I was in diaconate formation, my canon law professor summed up the 1,752 Church canons as follows: If you are going to err, err on the side of charity.  Pope Francis himself said as much in a recent interview, “What should a shepherd do? They must be a shepherd with God's style. And God's style is closeness, compassion and tenderness.”
As a Catholic, I believe our faith is full of paradoxes.  For example, if you want to have life, you must be willing to carry your cross.  The bread that becomes Eucharist is also a paradox:  The bread is a source of joy, strength and nourishment, but to become bread, the kernels of wheat must be crushed.

Ron Rolheiser, OMI, is one of my favorite spiritual writers.  Some years ago, he published a reflection on the Eucharist that really struck me:  For some it is a celebration of reconciliation, a ritual that forgives and unites, for others unity and reconciliation are pre-conditions for its proper celebration. Another paradox! Perhaps there is truth in both.

Bob Leathers

September 15, 2022—Uncle Mike 

When I was growing up in Miami, I lived in a 3-bedroom, one bath home with my parents, my grandmother, and my grandmother’s brother, Uncle Mike.  Uncle Mike was my favorite uncle and he loved me as if I were his son. He never drove a car, so occasionally he’d take me on bus rides all over town.  We even joked one day that we might take a Greyhound Bus ride all the way across the country to California!

As a young boy, I became pretty adept at putting on puppet shows, so Uncle Mike built a puppet stage for me that I could use with hand puppets as well as marionettes.  When I was a bit older, because we had such a small house, Uncle Mike and I shared a room together.  One day, I came home from school to learn that Uncle Mike had moved out of the house into his own apartment a couple of miles away, and this upset me and our family.  Uncle Mike was also quite stubborn, a trait I’m afraid still runs in my family (including me, I’m told), because no amount of persuasion from my mother and grandmother convinced him to come back home.  This experience never left me, but it was years later before I realized that Uncle Mike moved out of the house because he loved me and wanted me to have my own room in our small house.  What a wonderful gift of self-less love!  

Bob Leathers

September 16, 2022—Lewis and Clark

This summer, Cindy and I took a 7-day river cruise along the Snake and Columbia Rivers in the Pacific Northwest.  We experienced beautiful scenery, great food, and outstanding service in a new river boat equipped with many amenities.  During the cruise, we went through 8 locks and learned a great deal about the Pacific Northwest including about the explorers Meriwether Lewis and William Clark who with their crew were charged with discovering a path to the Pacific Ocean from St. Louis.  The exploration spanned over two years in the early 1800s (during the presidency of Thomas Jefferson following the Louisiana Purchase).

On their expedition, Lewis and Clark and their crew endured many hardships including frigid weather, storms, hazardous terrain and hunger.  They encountered and had to interact and communicate with many Native American tribes.  I can’t help but imagine how their grit, determination and courage paved the way for the generations that followed them, including Cindy and me on a relaxing river cruise through 8 locks. 

From time to time, we sing the hymn, “Go Make a Difference,” at our Sunday masses.  Probably without knowing it, Lewis and Clark and their expeditionary team made a difference.  God put them in the right place at the right time and with the right gifts and skills, and we are the beneficiaries who get to enjoy the fruits of their efforts.  

Bob Leathers

September 17, 2022—World’s Greatest Rosary Collection

Believe it or not, the world’s largest rosary collection is not in a museum at the Vatican, but in the Spiritual Quest Gallery of the Columbia Gorge Interpretative Center in Stevenson, Washington.  Cindy and I toured the Center during a stop on our river cruise along the Columbia River this summer.

Nearly 4,000 rosaries are displayed along with other religious artifacts associated with Pacific Northwest history.  A few of the rosaries have historical significance including one donated by President John F. Kennedy which he may have used during World War II before he became president

The collection is attributed to Don Brown, who grew up and lived in the area. His devotion grew out of his confinement in a hospital with a severe attack of pneumonia.  He observed that the rosaries were being worn by the Sisters of Mercy, and the rosaries inspired him to adopt the Catholic faith.

Seeing this magnificent collection gave me pause to reflect on my own collection of 5 or 6 rosaries, including a couple of finger rosaries.  I’ve been through periods in my life where I’ve prayed the rosary daily and other times when I have not.  The important thing I’ve realized, though, is to pray as you can and not as you can’t.  At times, it’s easy to pray spontaneously; at other times, I need the repetitiveness of the prayers in the rosary.  How I pray continues to evolve and I’ve come to realize that spending time with God—who always loves us—is what is most important.

Bob Leathers

September 18, 2022—Cursillo

At SS. Peter & Paul, we are very blessed to have a very active Cursillo group.  Cursillo is a Spanish word for “short course in Christ.”  This is my brief Cursillo story:

In 1977, two friends encouraged me to make a Cursillo weekend.  I had first heard about Cursillo from my pastor, who established the Cursillo movement in South Florida.  Witnessing how Cursillo made the faith of my two friends become alive made me want to attend one, and so they sponsored me.

The weekend itself was wonderful, but the experience the next day changed my life.  On the Monday morning following Cursillo, April 18th, I drove to work in downtown Miami, parked the car at a meter, and then had an overwhelming experience of the presence of Christ. From this day forward, I went to Mass because I wanted to and not out of habit.  For the 9 months following this experience, I spoke openly of my faith, and I was on cloud nine! 

The Cursillo experience enlivened and deepened my faith.  Another result was that my prayer life deepened, I began to study my faith, and I became more active in Church service.  Ultimately, it led me to consider a call to become a deacon.   Retreat experiences like Cursillo give us a chance to let God in and spend time with God, enable opportunities to experience the presence of Christ, and transform both us and the Church.

Bob Leathers





Reflections for Sept. 5-11, 2022

September 5, 2022 - Pruning & Gardening
I am not a gardener, but I enjoy experiencing a well landscaped piece of property.  Recently I went to Butchart Gardens and took in all the amazing beauty that surrounded me.  There was such a sense of peace that came over me as I walked around the grounds taking endless pictures.  It inspired me to think of ways that maybe I could try gardening at home on a small scale.  I desire to have some fresh food that I can grow on my own even if it is simple herbs or fruits that you plant in pots.  What holds me back from moving forward with this desire is the need to prune and the potential for it not to work.  The doubt of what if the plants die?  What if there is no harvest? What if I don’t take the time to make sure the garden is well tended?  My mind then returns to the luscious grounds at Butchart Gardens and I am in awe. I cannot even begin to fathom the amount of time and resources it takes to maintain the grounds there.  I know my garden will look quite different and I am not opposed to that.  I am held back with the doubt of investing time, energy, money into something and not getting a “return”.  Oh, what if God thought of us like that?!  God prunes us in ways we may not even realize and puts on our heart to go beyond what we thought possible.  As we get ready to begin the season of Fall, I look forward to the beginning of the change of seasons, the leaves, and the eventual fall.  Though we go through seasons many times over I pray this season is one where I ponder how God is pruning me and helping me to grow my spiritual garden. 
Bianca Hennager

September 6, 2022 - Truth and Love
“Do not accept anything as the truth if it lacks love. And do not accept anything as love which lacks truth.” (Edith Stein).  This quote has become a cornerstone for me as I interact with others.  What I say does matter and needs to be thoughtful and spoken with love.   Often, I have let my emotions get the better of me and will blurt out some flippant response not realizing the impact it may have on those that I love.  Typically, when this happens, I circle back afterwards asking for forgiveness, but I feel like the damage has already been done.  It is hard to take back words after they are spoken.  Recently I had the opportunity to put this quote into practice and let me tell you it was hard.  It required a lot of self-control and reflection on what was really bothering me and how I could speak it with love.  The outcome of the conversation was beautiful though.  Our ability to come together to see what we have in common and what we want as an outcome was productive and life giving.  Both of us walked away with a clearer picture of what we each needed to do.  We put a plan in action to get us the outcome we wanted.
Bianca Hennager

September 7, 2022 - Discipline
The word discipline means to train or to teach someone to obey rules or a code of behavior.  As I was reading a passage from St. Paul he stated, “Endure your trials as discipline; God treats you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?” (Hebrews 12:7-8).   Reading that Scripture was an “ah-ha” moment for me as to how I approach my trials.  If I view my trials as something to get through and “why me” then I am losing sight of the discipline it is teaching me.  If I tend to have a “Job” complex – why can’t anything go right in my life, then I am missing out on the love that God has for me to help train me up in the ways he wants for me.  Looking at my trials as disciplining myself, I have become strengthened and overall a more spirite filled individual.  Thank you, Lord, for all the ways you are helping me to become more disciplined and closer to you through my trials.
Bianca Hennager

September 8, 2022 - Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Mary and Michael! As a cradle Catholic, I must admit I was not aware of September 8^th being the birthday of our Blessed Mother until I had my second son, Michael born on the same day.  We celebrate Mary’s Immaculate Conception on December 8^th as a Holy Day but not her birthday.  One of the most poignant things I remember from my birth experience with Michael was the phrase “let it go.”  This simple phrase held so much meaning as I had to let go of what I thought my birth experience was going to be, what eventually happened, and how I would move beyond it.  I imagine Mary’s fiat being similar; her willingness to do God’s will meant she had to let go of what she may have wanted. She had to trust in God that he would make all things work.  And boy did he!  Through Mary God gave us our Lord and Savior Jesus, which is the most awesome gift, beyond what we could imagine.  Mary serves as a pivotal role model for me as a Mother, woman, and follower of Christ.  Her willingness to be open to doing what God wanted in her life is awe-inspiring.  The depth of her faith inspires me to trust more in God even when things seem impossible. 
Bianca Hennager

September 9, 2022 - Thank You for My fork
When my two boys were old enough to speak, I started teaching them common Catholic prayers such as Prayer before meals, Our Father, and Hail Mary.  After our prayer before meals, we would go around the table and say one thing we were thankful for.  My oldest son John would say joyfully, “thank you for my fork.”  The first couple of times he said this, it was endearing. He was about three years old and had a strong vocabulary.  Day after day he would thank God for the items placed in front of him; his Spiderman cup, his plate, his napkin, and the list continued.  One day when I was meeting with his preschool teacher, Sr. Olga, I shared my annoyance at the lack of reverence my three old year had.  Out of all the things he could be thankful for, he is choosing objects at the dinner table.  Sr. Olga looked at me with loving eyes and said, “there are many people in this world who don’t have these items.”  Sr. Olga was right; there are many people in this world without utensils to use when they eat, or cups to drink from.  I was humbled by her lovingly reminder that even the simple things that we often take for granted are worthy of our gratitude.  Now when we go around the dinner table and my children (much older) offer up their thankfulness, I use it as a reminder of all of the wonderful blessings we have and not to take anything for granted, even the simple things like forks. 
Bianca Hennager

September 10, 2022 - Is Today the Day?
My Mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer last October with a prognosis of 6 to 12 months.  The last week she has turned a corner in her struggle, and we can more immediately see her nearing the end of life.  I am not really experienced with the end of life experience; however, I am learning a lot about this phase.  I liken it to when I was pregnant and had reached a certain point in the pregnancy where you are “ready” to have the baby.  It just reminds me how circular life is and how we are so impatient for God’s timing.  When things are beyond our control and we have no real sense of time, but we want to move through whatever “it” is quickly.  My husband shared how he dreads getting a phone call or seeing a text from family member(s).  He confessed to me, “is today going to be the day that I lose my mom?”  My heart hurts seeing him and the rest of the family as they come together to provide comfort and peace to their mother.  I continually lift them up in prayer but have no answer as to when the day will come.  The family is all together keeping a vigilant watch on their mother, tending to her in her final days.  “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour” (Mt 25:13).
Bianca Hennager

September 11, 2022 - Lost but Now Found
The story of the Prodigal Son is a famous Gospel parable and one of my favorites.  When I was re-reading this Gospel something different sparked my curiosity.  I wonder what made the Prodigal Son want to return.  Why that day did the prodigal son decide to return home?  As my imagination got the better of me with all kinds of possibilities it had me questioning all sorts of situations like where someone may feel lost and then finds themselves.  Take for example, the alcoholic – what makes them stop drinking or what makes the addict get their last fix?  I am reminded that each day we wake up and we can make a choice whether to be lost or to come back to our Father.  The choice is ours to be welcomed into his embrace and to be found.  I can imagine the amount of shame the son must have felt knowing how he had disappointed his father.  I am sure the son felt a fair amount of guilt too.  Despite those overwhelming feelings, the feeling of needing to be home outweighed the guilt and shame.  I pray for all those who may be lost that they feel the need to come home and be welcomed as the Gospel tells us to welcome our lost brothers and sisters.    
Bianca Hennager



Reflections for Aug. 29-Sept. 4, 2022

August 29, 2022 - The Leap of Faith
Our Family Ministry group used to camp at Scott’s Flat Lake every summer. One of the ongoing traditions was to take a short hike to the spillway on the lake. Above it was a catwalk over a deep area of water. Depending on the height of the lake that year, the jump could be a 10-to-20-foot drop into the water. The kids would line up in their swimsuits, with their little legs shaking with excitement, adrenaline, and anxiety as they prepared to jump off. They were encouraged to face their fear and jump as everyone cheered them on. After the plunge, they would emerge from the water with such pride and accomplishment.

I’m reminded of moments like these when fear and anxiety overwhelm me. Hopefully our children will remember this as well. They all did a hard and scary thing but succeeded with their bravery and the support of their community. Taking risks, whether they are physical or spiritual can be difficult and frightening. But the reward is great. Musician Alanis Morrisette puts it best in her song “Thank You.” She sings “the moment I jumped off of it was the moment I touched down.” In other words, pushing past our fear can bring us great peace, fulfilment, and self-awareness.

With our faith in God, the power of the Holy Spirit, and the support of those around us, we can do hard things. And it makes for great campfire stories!
Jen Payan

August 30, 2022 - Mass Under the Trees
Camping with the Family Ministry group brings back so many fond memories. Every summer during our camping trip at Scott’s Flat Lake our group would celebrate mass. We would set an altar right in the middle of camp and our talented parishioners would organize a liturgy. The children would take on many roles in the mass. One of our priests would join us and preside over mass in the beautiful, forested campground as we sat around in our camping chairs.

One year we met another Catholic group that was staying on the other side of the campground and we invited them to our mass. The next thing we knew people were flocking to our camp with their chairs to celebrate the liturgy.  Our gathering had over doubled in size and we up  realized we may have a “loaves and fishes” scenario on our hands! We had not accounted for the volume of hosts we may need for our mass. Yet, all who came for communion were able to receive. While it was probably just Michelle Pfister’s creative work of divvying up all the hosts, I would like to think it was the same as Jesus feeding such a large group of believers in the gospel story. As in scripture, we probably even had some left over!

Most importantly, this mass brought groups of strangers together. Even in a dusty campground, under tall trees, without a building or electricity, we were able to take part in the Eucharistic celebration. That is the gift of the Catholic faith.
Jen Payan

August 31, 2022 - Donating Life
Over my career in as a trauma nurse I’ve been able to witness the most precious gift one family can give another – organ donation. It is truly a spiritual experience simultaneously witnessing the loss and preservation of life. This is because it reminds me so much of the sacrifice that Jesus made for us on the cross.

Before Jesus, the Jewish faith required an animal sacrifice for the forgiveness of sins. When Jesus arrived on scene, he stated that he was going to change that tradition. He told us he would give his own life to atone for all our sins. God’s people would no longer have to use the sacrificial mediator for forgiveness. He gave us direct access to God’s forgiveness. He gifted us with a fresh start and literally a new life.  

I’m always reminded of this gesture when a tragic loss of life results in the saving of many lives. I’ve aided in procuring a new heart for a young father of 3 children, new lungs for a lady who had been struggling to breath for years, and a new kidney to a teen. This is always with immense gratitude for the dying and their family that made the decision to donate life. Do you have a little pink sticker on your driver’s license?
Jen Payan

September 1, 2022 - Impact of a Believer
As a young adult when I left home, faith was not my priority. I became so independent I felt that I didn’t even need God. Then, I found myself in a challenging job where I witnessed so much tragedy that I even questioned the existence of God. My spiritual and mental health suffered.

One day as I was in an ICU room caring for severely a injured teen that was dying, I overheard a remarkable conversation. The patient’s mother was speaking to a close friend at the bedside with her. She stated she had been overcome with so much anxiety and grief the day before that she could hardly function. Then she had gone home and just started praying. She was able to fall asleep that night and the next morning woke up with a huge sense of peace. She felt calm and able to face the terrible road ahead.

I had been quietly working on the IV pumps in the corner of the room. She probably never even realized that I was listening. But her words and actions changed my life. She brought me back to God. I realized that God had to be present in the world if he was able to bring peace to someone experiencing the worst situation imaginable. She will never know her impact. I often reflect on how my actions and speech regarding my faith can influence others without even being aware.
Jen Payan

September 2,  2022 - Who Are Your People?
As I have aged, I’ve learned the importance of friendship and fellowship. The quality and beliefs of those I surround me has made all the difference as I’ve faced the challenges in my life. I appreciate that God has surrounded me with friends that really fill my cup. I know He is always presenting me with people that I can connect with. Whether they are friends for life or a shorter period, they are of great value.
 
Occasionally, the time and closeness would be brief, but it always met a certain need in my life. Or maybe I was meant to be of help or service to them. Then there is an ebb and flow in a long-term friendship. Over the years I would be able to offer support and care to my best friend at times, then require just as much help from her in a difficult time of my own life. My bible study friends have been so special since we all share our faith.

No matter what, the friends that have surrounded me over the years certainly have been gifts from God and I am truly grateful.
Jen Payan

September 3, 2022 - Mary
Growing up my Grandma Eagle had a small Mary plaque that hung in her bedroom. When she passed away I chose to keep it as a remembrance of her. I remember bringing it home and walking around my house looking for the perfect place to hang it. I was drawn to a small wall near the closet in my daughter’s room. This was my “spirited” child that I always felt I needed a little more grace and patience with. This was the perfect spot for the Blessed Mother!

Shortly after hanging it up I returned home after a long day out and smelled something burning upstairs. I traced the smell to her room where I found some burned up pajamas hanging from a nightlight that was plugged into the wall. They must have been thrown unintentionally on the hot light as my daughter got dressed that morning. Fortunately, they had burnt themselves out and not caused a fire or any other damage. Suspended above the nightlight was the Mother Mary I had hung on that wall the day before!

Whether it was a miracle of just fire-retardant PJ’s I will never know. But, it reminded me how our Lady is watching over my family constantly. Even now, when I can’t be present with my children I know she is there protecting and interceding on our behalf. Thank you Mary!
Jen Payan

September 4, 2022 - Fire
For many years our family would camp on the south shore of Lake Tahoe for a few weeks every summer. We would enjoy hikes and mountain biking through the thick green forest. Then the Angora fire occurred. It destroyed homes and thousands of acres. The following summer it was heartbreaking to pedal through the desolate trails. The earth was barren with old ash and cinder and the forest had gone completely quiet without the birds and wildlife. It is eerie, but when I stopped my bike and took it all in, it was strangely peaceful. Almost like I had been transported to another planet. The following year, I returned for the ride and found some shoots of new trees emerging and small grassy areas with new plants. Each year as I rode the trail it grew lusher and the forest noises of wildlife and insects returned. After a period of years it returned to its original beauty with all new growth.

Scripture uses the example of purification by fire many times. Jesus even speaks of it. We also symbolize the Holy Spirit with it. My experience riding that trail in Tahoe was such a reminder of how the fire of our faith can help us get rid of the old and start anew. God has always made that available to us, especially with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Jen Payan

Reflections for Aug. 22-28, 2022
August 22, 2022 - A Walk with Christ
When you get together in the Cursillo movement it is customary to share your closest moment with Christ.  I’m not a big sharer, nor, I think, are a lot of people.  As a result, we hear of the closest moment as getting together with family, having the kids (or grandkids) visit, a special homily heard, maybe a trip to an impressive church.  Or in a rare sharing, you might hear something really touching.  What you don’t hear is of Jesus tapping you on the shoulder or running beside you in the turkey trot, carrying on a conversation.  

What is unsaid is the fact that the same men who shared about their family get-togethers went out of their way to pick up a guy who needs a walker to come to this meeting.  That they drive - on a regular basis - all the way from Davis to be part of our community.  That they leaned over to a loved one in church to tell them that they loved them.  To me, I feel as if I’ve truly encountered Christ when I am witness to these things -when I see our faith in action - It isn’t getting together with family so much as being Christlike yourself.  As Catholics, we know that Christ lives in us. We become His hands and feet.   And it is the realization that the small, loving things that I do for others on a regular basis is truly an extension of Christ working through me.  So I can honestly say that today, my closest moment with Christ is being among those who are indeed, the embodiment of Jesus.
Don Eagle

August 23, 2022 - Look Around
To me God is not “in heaven” so much as I feel that God is all around me.  He is in the beauty of a sunset, the majesty of a mountain, the serenity of a lake, and the eyes of a child.  The Romans simply put a different God in charge of most anything, whereas the Israelites had one God in charge of everything.  To us, He is all encompassing, everywhere, and everlasting.  In short, God is, as our hymn goes, “standing right beside me.”  From my first breath to my last, I feel that God is with me, no matter what.  There have been occasions in my life where I felt His presence more than others.   In college, I was involved in a terrible car accident.  Coming out of the Caldicot Tunnel, the Volkswagen I was riding in was sideswiped by an oncoming car, causing us to flip the car, skidding upside down to the edge of a steep embankment.  My date and I, as well as the driver and his date, managed to extract ourselves from the upside down car, and walk away virtually unscathed.  We should all have been killed, yet God was the fifth passenger in that vehicle. I think he had other plans for our future.  God was with us then and continues to be.  As a humorous aside, the first thing we did upon exiting the car was to turn the car radio off so we wouldn’t run down the battery (of the totally destroyed car)!
Don Eagle

August 24, 2022 - On This Note…
Pope John Paul II once said, “I have a sweet tooth for song and music.  This is my Polish sin.” Like the Pope, I too have a sweet tooth for music and it has always been a big part of my life.  I get spiritually lost when I listen to a great piece of music and feel an affinity towards God.  He is there from the overture to the finale.  He is there from the whisper to the crescendo.  From the deep notes of an alto to the high notes of a coloratura soprano, my whole being appreciates and loves the complexity involved.  The harmony of orchestral instruments, all working together, spell out the wonder of creation, the sense of God Himself.  I am inspired when I sit in the lap of God and feel the harmony of the universe, the bursting forth of spiritual energy, the joy of being.  To me, music is a gift that man gives back to God.  It is one of those rare gifts that enrich the soul and allows your spirit to soar. Just listen to the works of Mozart, Gabrielli or Charpentier.   Music is the hallmark of many occasions.  Think of the simple Happy Birthday song, graduation marches, wedding music, concerts, liturgical themes, and finally, to music played at a funeral.  When I think about it, music stands alone.  Enhancing, enchanting, embracing, and giving my spirit-filled life a decided boost.  I’m not too sure about all those harps in heaven, I’m hoping for a full-on orchestra, replete with a big choir and some really great soloists.  I’m hoping that Pavarotti, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and Toscanini will be performing when I finally get to see God’s face. (Well, maybe one harp will be okay).  
Don Eagle

August 25, 2022 - A Sailor’s Tale
To me, sailing is putting yourself in the hands of God as you voyage through life, quietly, confidently, with love and with purpose.  One of my very favorite images of God can be likened to sailing. This relationship has been to me, as like a child with a toy boat.  As an adult, I not only found joy in sailing, but had a very personal experience with God himself.  Think of it.  You are afloat on the sea,( life) in nothing but a small hull.  You are totally dependent on the wind (the breath of God) to move you, to get you going, skimming across a surface that hides danger below.  You use that wind to get to your destination.  And that wind fills your sails, refreshes you as you go.  You have a destination in mind, and the key to that destination is in discovering how to get there.  You need to know where to go, which direction to follow.  Enter the second person of the Trinity, showing you the way.  Knowing where your ultimate destination is, and having the help to get there, you realize that you are one with the Father.  It is you, and the Father, and the Son, driven by the Spirit, that fulfills your journey across the water.  The wind is quiet, yet you hear the rush of water against your hull.  You drive through the waves, experience the storms, but using your direction, you see where you are going.  When your sails are lowered, you arrive at your destination.  At peace, to enjoy the calm and serenity of your anchorage.  
Don Eagle

August 26,2022 - Camaraderie
Every year I attend the Men’s Day of Prayer sponsored by the men of St. Mel’s Parish.  It’s always well attended with several hundred men attending and hearing a dynamic guest speaker.  Attendees come from every corner of the diocese.  Last Spring Fr. Matthew Spencer was the guest speaker, a priest who has been close to our SS Peter & Paul for many years.  This year, his take on St. Joseph was both profound and enlightening.  Beyond the conference itself, I always come away with a deeper meaning imbedded in such meetings.  Aside from learning and taking notes, I am always impressed with the brotherhood of the men attending.  Beyond the handshakes and hugs, there is a commonality of belief, a sense of purpose, a feeling of mutual love of one another, all which lead to strong Catholic community.  I have experienced new-found friendships that stretch across many Diocesan parishes, men who have found they are not alone in their beliefs, and yearn to discover their inherent Christian being. Our common goals are summed up in the Cursillo statement to “Find a friend, be a friend, and bring a friend to Christ” through piety, study, and action. Those are the watchwords, and, discovering that we are not alone, the camaraderie engendered at these get-togethers is the underlying feeling I get beyond the event itself.  
Don Eagle

August 27, 2022 -  Sun Shines Forth
Granted, It’s a simple song.  And yet it is so meaningful (at least to me) because it spells out both a spiritual reckoning and one that deals with personal relationships.  
            You are my sunshine
            My only sunshine.
            You make me happy
            When skies are gray
            You’ll never know dear how much I love you,
            Please don’t take my sunshine away.
What starts out as a fun tune quickly switches into one of commitment, love, and fear.  The words are actually quite stirring, and I envision God in every line.  The same goes for feelings toward my wife.  Funny how the two are inextricably entwined, and how those words bounce off of each, enhancing the other.  This little ditty speaks of our relationship with God from the time of our birth until the curtain falls.  It also speaks of the person who makes our life complete, and of how deep love grows, confessing that life would be incomplete without her.  (Or him, as the case may be). 

 If I look at this song as a sort of prayer, I read into it that God is all around me, bringing joy to my life, and being ever at my side.  And I, in turn, love Him and always want him with me.  
If I look at this song as an expression of my feelings toward my wife, I complete the picture of mutual love and support, never wanting it to end.
Don Eagle

August 28, 2022 - Quiet Time
In a world filled with ever-increasing noise, how wonderful it is to unplug, and experience the sweetness of quiet.  Cell phones, messaging, emails, robocalls, direct mail and the direct exposure to 3,000 messages a day deprive one of the time to sit back and think, pray, and contemplate.  I find that reflecting on spiritual things is heavily compromised by the constant barrage of others seeking your attention, support, or distraction.  I’m thinking that the church has long recognized the power of solitude, of solitary prayer, and of the rapture of focus.  Monks, hermits, and cloistered women have all discovered the value of losing themselves in the mysteries of God.  

Jesus began his ministry by prayer and reflection — alone, communing with the Father.  And, throughout the New Testament, He withdraws to be alone to pray, even to the final Garden of Gethsemane prayer. 
I personally think that withdrawing, seeking solitude and time to think, is a real must for spiritual health.  I love to turn off my cell phone, let the robocalls go unanswered, and dump the direct mail solicitations in the wastebasket.  I’d much rather use my brain to think of loftier things. I’d really prefer to contemplate a life that is giving in a spiritual sense.  Quietly, listening and not talking.  And I am reminded now and then of how God appeared — not in the thunder, not in the earthquake nor the fire, but in a tiny whispering sound.
Don Eagle

Reflections for Aug. 15-21, 2022
August 15, 2022 -As Needed

My wife and I eat an almost exclusively plant-based diet.  This reminded me of a proverb from 1826: 'Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are', which we hear as, ‘You are what you eat’.  Thinking about this, I realized that the wisdom of this goes beyond the plate or palate.  I am, or more correctly, I become, what I consume.  For health considerations, this is well described.  If I eat high calorie low fiber foods, with plenty of sugar, salt, and fat I will develop medical problems.  If children or the elderly do not get sufficient protein, they will either not grow or dwindle faster. 

But how about the other things I consume?  My society is often referred to as a consumer economy.  I consume energy, natural resources, and manufactured goods.   I ask myself whether I am consuming to keep my body and mind strong, to serve others, express my faith and live a Christian life, or am I addicted to consuming.  What do I consume as entertainment when I read, listen, or watch?   Do I consume because it gives me pleasure or provide a sense of security and power or do I consume only as needed to be a healthy member of the Body of Christ?  Do I consume while others of God’s children do not have merely enough to survive?  Do I figuratively consume their lives for my own?  As I go about my day today, I will ask myself, ‘What have I become?’ 
Ray Frink

Aug. 16, 2022 - Buffalo and Penguins

Lately I’ve been trying to hear God in my life.  I believe He is there; I just want some clarity.   This is not the first time, nor the last time, I will do this.  I am trying to expand my daily prayer, hear the whisper of His voice, or see a sign.  I am seeking instruction in dealing with the storms, great and small, of life.  As is often the case, two examples from nature showed me how to address my current storms.

These two examples involve buffalo, cows, and penguin chicks.  When a storm is approaching over the Great Plains the storm usually comes from the west and moves to the east. Cows and buffalo go in opposite directions.   Cows flee before the storm and since they are slow, they actually move along with the storm and prolong their discomfort and pain.  Trying to escape the storm only worsens their condition.  Buffalo turn and charge the storm, moving toward the storm and shortening the time the storm controls their lives.  God in nature tells me there are times I need to charge the storm. 

During a cold and windy winter penguin chicks huddle in mass to protect themselves from the cold.  Chicks in the interior move to the outside and outside chicks move to the interior regularly so that all are protected most of the time. God in nature tells me there are times when I need my spiritual community to protect me and times when I protect them.
Ray Frink

August 17, 2022 - Missing You

I am often asked if I miss actively practicing medicine.  Family members and close friends think I still do because I say “the shingle is always out”, a reference to the old routine of a newly minted doctor hanging a sign or ‘shingle’ to advertise their presence.  I take calls about medicine from family at all hours.

My answer to missing medicine is always the same.  I miss the people: my patients, my medical coworkers, and the non-medical support staff including the environmental staff.  When I heard that one of our SS. Peter and Paul staff tries to smile at everyone she encounters, I adopted this for the hospital and office cleaners.  I miss them because they most appreciated the simple recognition a smile brought.  They were not invisible to me and I appreciated the thorough, necessary, and usually thankless, jobs they did. 
          Jesus was always concerned about the people.  Did they have enough to eat.?  Did they understand what He was saying?  Did they receive the spiritual guidance they deserved from the clergy of the time?  In scripture, after his encounter with the Samaritan women we read of Jesus healing many, probably to the point of exhaustion. Jesus healed without regard to position or station in life.  There was no seeking influence or good will from those He cured.  For Jesus, the most genuine expression of Himself, was to feed, teach, cure, love.  May I have the wisdom and strength to remember these four goals.
Ray Frink

August 18, 2022 - Change the Script
In the world of television, Captain Kirk of Star Trek provides an example of overcoming.  A recurring commentary is how Captain Kirk survived a test with an absolutely no-win scenario.  He alters the computer program.  He is accused of cheating.  His response is: “I changed the conditions of the test”, or as I say, he changed the script. 
       
If I have learned anything about sin or acting in a way I would prefer to avoid, it is that these acts tend to repeat themselves.   Most are private.  Sin is more often personal.  These are not on the front page of the Sacramento Bee.   
         
Advice that I recently heard given to a teenager on the avoidance of sin stayed with me.  I paraphrase the advice:  If you can identify a pattern of thought, emotion, or behavior that occurs before you act, then change the script.  This simple advice is not easy.  It requires reflection, planning, and commitment.  It requires recognition of what those triggers may be that start me down the path.  Then there is the moment-to-moment decision to change course, to redirect my energy away from sin, and toward a better choice, use of time, or avoidance of temptation.  There is the possibility of failure because often it is easier to follow a familiar path.   These moments of choice are made a little easier with prayer, a quick reminder that the needed extra bit of strength is available.
Ray Frink

August 19, 2022 - Preserve, Protect, and Defend
From previous reflections some readers may have guessed that the natural world is sacred to me and that is where I find God most often.  That I believe this is reflected in the gifts God has given me.  How else can I explain my sometimes-insatiable curiosity about the world in which we live?   If you don’t spend time in nature, you don’t know what you’re missing.  For many men and women, some of whom were my patients, this could have been disastrous. 
         
Meet the Pacific Yew tree.  Known as an excellent wood for archery bows, cabinetry, musical instruments, and carving, the bark of this tree also naturally makes a compound with extraordinary anti-cancer properties.  The compound is no silver bullet curing cancer.  Its discovery and development did revolutionize cancer therapy for ovarian, breast, and other cancers in my lifetime.  Why this long exposition on a tree?
         
God gave me the natural world to discover, enjoy, and acknowledge its untold treasures.  During my career I often exited my home each day, got in a car, did my job and returned home without ever looking at a flower, plant, or tree.  I often unconsciously assumed that what nature provided me was to be used without thought of the implications.  I wonder what other untold treasures await us in nature.  How much bigger can my life be if I simply look around?  Who knows what I may find if I look with an open mind and open heart?
Ray Frink

August 20, 2022 - Music Leads the Way
When I was younger, along with popular music, I listened to many works of classical music.  I enjoyed the range of feelings that the music allowed me to experience even when I could not or would not experience those feelings by myself.  This has continued over the years.  When I passed my exams for my doctorate I opened the windows of my dorm room and played Beethoven on the stereo as loud as I could tolerate.   Music was an important part of my graduate school religious experience.  Music played a prominent role in my wedding.  I have sung some hymns for so many years I have the words memorized.  There are certain songs sung at SS. Peter and Paul that will lift my spirits, bring a smile to my face and almost bring tears to my eyes.   I have picked out the music for my celebration of life when that time comes.
         
I believe deeply in the saying by St Augustine:  To sing is to pray twice.  My dad had a very good voice as a younger man, my mom not so much.  Still they both sang at church.  It didn’t matter how they sounded.  Sound rises to the heavens. This is both a request and a prayer today. When I gather with others for any celebration of our faith, I will sing.   I don’t want to sing alone.  The Trinity is deserving of our voices.  Those voices do not need to be perfect. 
Ray Frink

August 21, 2022 - Revealing Myself
“This is perhaps the greatest risk that any of us will take, to be seen as we really are.”  The narrator of a movie based on the fable of Cinderella, speaks this at a critical moment.  When I was a child, I felt no need to hide who I was.  I didn’t think about it.  Around the age of 12 and from then on, the opinions of others, the values of the world, weighed on my mind.  In response, I studied hard, worked hard, shielded myself from hurt, and kept to myself.  Although I could protect myself from the pain of being known, I realized in my 20’s that this was no way to live.  Aided by the encouragement of mentors, teachers and those who love me, I was once again comfortable sharing myself, allowing others to know who I am.   Thus, you all now get the person once described as “reserved, but warm”.
         
Jesus on numerous occasions reminds us to trust the Father.  “Do not be afraid”, is a frequent admonition in the New Testament.  The words ‘Fear not’, with the love and reassurance they imply, reportedly appear 365 times in the Bible.  If only I had heard and incorporated that advice when I was 12, perhaps the intervening years of growth would have been different.  I’ll never know.  When I interact with those younger than myself, I will try to give them space to be who they are, loved by God, created as He wants them to be.  Fear not!
Ray Frink

Reflections for August 8 - 14, 2022

August 8, 2022 - Asking God to Be Present Is Bad Theology

Did that get your attention?? I recently heard Lucy Abbot Tucker, a renown spiritual director, say this.  And I realized, she is right.  Asking God to help us be present to God’s presence would be more accurate, perhaps more appropriate.  God doesn’t need us to call Him to come down from afar.  God is right here, always. And yet… our liturgy and our prayers have some beautiful expressions of our calling.  We sing, send down your Spirit at Pentecost… one of my favorite liturgies.  We pray, “Lord, hear our prayer” at every Mass. Does God need us to remind Him to hear us?  No, but perhaps we need to be able to say these words to remind us that God does hear us. 
There is a children’s book that I have always loved called, Mama, Do You Love Me?  Throughout the book, the child asks, Mama, do you love me? And the mother replies, I will always love you. The child continues, even if I… (and she lists lots of naughty things) would you love me?  The mother continues to affirm her love and in the last line, the mother says, “I will love you forever and for always, because you are my Dear One.”  In our intimate relationship with our Beloved, we call out, Lord come to us!  And God says, I am already here.  We cry out Mama, Papa, do you love me? And God replies, I love you forever and for always, because you are my Dear One.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

August 9, 2022 - What Does It Mean to Be a Synodal Church?
Several months ago, together with many of you, I participated in a process of coming together to discern, how is the Spirit calling us as Church? This was an invitation from Pope Francis and something that is being embraced all around the world.  Many of us mistakenly paraphrased this invitation by saying, the Pope and the Bishop want to know what we think… they want our opinions. I think we miss the depth of meaning with this understanding.  Pope Francis is reminding us of what we already are, what was confirmed in Vatican II.  We are a synodal Church, the body of Christ that journeys together and discerns the Spirit’s movement in us collectively. The Spirit is active in you and me and invites us to listen in the depths of our hearts for where God is leading us.  The Church is not frozen in time, but alive with the Spirit.  As I participated in the listening sessions, I heard people’s hopes and dreams; and I felt their pain and frustration.  It is hard being Church!  Being synodal means we journey together, with each other and with God.  We listen for the Spirit moving in and among us. And we are surprised sometimes that God’s ways are not our ways. God always invites us to more.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

August 10, 2022 - On Holding Space
As a spiritual companion, I have been challenged to learn the difference between offering advice or even sympathy and holding space.  Holding space means being present—fully present to another, without directing or advising or catechizing.  These other forms of companioning have their place in a different context, but not here.  There is a unique space that is created when I can be present to someone without judgment or expectation.  It is a form of deep listening with the whole body.  I experience God providing that kind of presence to me sometimes in prayer.  Advice doesn’t come, expectations are not spoken.  God is just present, waiting patiently while the seeds he planted in me germinate.  Waiting like a lover who honors my independence.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio

August 11, 2022 - Wounded Healer
I have recently been intrigued with the term “wounded healer.” It is a concept that serendipitously keeps showing up in books I’m reading, prayers I find, etc. I have always found comfort and a little awe in the Gospel readings where the resurrected Jesus appears with his wounds. The wounds did not disappear, they are not even scars, they are wounds that one can put a hand in. I think that is significant and something I need to pay attention to. For me it confirms what I experience in life. Challenges, suffering and loss are often not avoided or removed by prayer. Instead, I am helped to move through these times. I am accompanied and strengthened.  And as a result, I grow and become more genuine and compassionate in the process, and I carry my wounds.  I learn to trust God in a life that is unpredictable and out of my control.  Wounded healers are people who can be with each other in mutual awareness of our hurting humanness. We do not rescue each other, but compassionately call on each other’s inner strength and faith in God’s accompaniment.  We support each other not in a pity party, but as soul friends who have experienced life’s trials, grown in wisdom, patience and trust in God as a result of the roads we have walked.  That’s the kind of companion I want when I’m facing challenges.  A wounded healer. 
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio


August 12, 2022 - Claiming Our Shadow
Listening to the news, I caught myself saying, “What a self-righteous jerk!” I have a whole list of people I find distasteful. Then slowly, something dawns on me. I remember a couple of scripture passages…something about a wooden beam and a splinter, something about casting stones…  Our human tendency is to see the things we don’t like about ourselves in other people. In psychology it is called projecting our shadow.  I’m quite good at this. I can be very judgmental about judgmental people, narrowly critical of people I perceive as narrow thinkers. What is fascinating is how hard it is to catch myself!

There’s a lot of shadow projection going on these days. It is reflected in our deep divide as a culture and our conflicts with friends and neighbors.  Jesus said to take the beam out of your own eye so you can see to help your neighbor with his splinter. How do I do that? I’m learning the challenging process of noticing when someone really pushes my buttons.  When there’s a lot of emotion raised in me, particularly by people I don’t even know well, I ask myself what inner part of me is like that? What areas of myself do I need to recognize and work on?
Our healing and wholeness come in recognizing our full selves, including the aspects of ourselves we don’t like very much—our shadows. In recognizing and claiming my shadow, I humbly understand my weaknesses and invite God’s healing transformation.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio


August 13, 2022 - On Being “Good”
Thomas Merton said, the hardest group to convert are those who identify as good. As Christians, I think our challenge is to do good works, but not to get to thinking we are good (or better). As I think about the temptation of “being good,” a few things come to mind. First is “good enough.” Do I, do we, get comfortable with certain patterns of prayer, worship, and charity so that my experience as a disciple feels good enough, a box to check along with the rest of my to do list? Second, good can also means self-righteous. It is always a comparison to others who are “more or less good.” “Good people” can easily become code for “people like me, people who share my values…” That’s a slippery slope. I can easily end up associating “good” with my tribe, my cultural expression of spirituality, my country, my political party… It becomes quite insular. Finally, good can imply a God who keeps score. Suddenly we are earning something, even if on an unconscious level. “I’ve been good and faithful, how could God let this happened to me?”
 
In the Gospels Jesus seems to always be connecting with people who are on the margins of goodness.  I used to think it was to bring them into the fold of the “good people.” Now I don’t think so. Perhaps it was to show us that we are ALL on the margins and all in need of his loving work in us—always.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio
 

August 14, 2022 - God’s Presence in Hard Times
As I write this, I am on retreat at the Mercy Center with Brother Don Bisson. We are talking about living in God‘s presence during times of deepening shadow. Deepening shadow certainly represents how I have experienced many things in our world of late.  Life seems full of so many divisions, full of selfishness, violence, and despair. How do I participate as the body of Christ in the midst of these challenging times? Here’s some of what I’m learning: I need to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anxiety. Healthy anxiety, or healthy suffering, shares in the experience of the world’s suffering.  It does not seek an escape.  It is the capacity to show up in our reality even though it is hard. It invites me to speak the truth even when it’s not popular and to let my discomfort with the brokenness in the world prompt me to ask, where is this pulling me? How is God asking me to respond? What is mine to do?  Unhealthy anxiety becomes helplessness and hopelessness, and it can collude with evil. I am learning a healthy response requires spending time in prayer and silence, spending time in sacred space, and spending time with people in community. It means following Jesus and His values rather than the values of the world and making sure that my actions in life are grounded in Gospel values.  And of course, it means knowing that I do not do any of this without God’s grace.
Renee Regacho-Anaclerio



Reflections for August 1 - 7, 2022

August 1, 2022 - Emmanuel

If you read the title of this and assumed I was talking about Emmanuel, “God with us”, you were mistaken. Emmanuel is an emu that has taken over the internet, photobombing his owner’s TikTok videos. Emmanuel’s videos were shared across all the internet platforms and I laughed every time I saw one. The videos are sweet, wholesome and funny, and are a reminder that the internet can be full of joy! What was most interesting to me though was the variety of people I saw posting Emmanuel’s videos; they were people young and old, both extremes of the political spectrum, and of varying faith backgrounds. After years of divisive posts and extreme polarities, it seems that a photobombing emu brought people together, if only for a few short weeks on the internet. So maybe I was wrong. Maybe this is about God with us after all.
Erin Gallawa




August 2, 2022 – Snorkel

Last month we took a family vacation to Hawaii. One of the days we went on a snorkeling trip. Initially one of my daughters didn’t want to snorkel, so she just jumped in with a noodle to splash around. After only a few minutes in the water she predictably regretted this decision and decided to snorkel. The first profound moment for me happened when Ana handed back her pool noodle and the employee asked me if she was ok to swim without a floatation device. I immediately answered that she was a strong swimmer and I surprised myself when I realized how it true it was. I don’t know when she became capable, but this was the moment I knew it. I spent the next 45 minutes chasing her around the bay. It was the best part of my vacation—watching my daughter use her confident, capable body to navigate in the ocean and explore underwater. She even dove below the surface with me to see things up closer! I stopped looking at fish and was only watching my daughter as she experienced a new world around her. My greatest joy wasn’t what was under the water—it was watching her see it. How wonderful it must be for God to recognize what we are capable of and watch as we delight in the world around us!
Erin Gallawa



August 3, 2022 – Home

I feel like I have written dozens of reflections about water, but I have such a strong connection that I am always thinking of the way water is present in my life. My longing for the water feels primal; I feel called to the water and I have a strong urge to immerse myself in it. I cannot be near water without at least washing my hands and I will walk right into the river with my shoes and socks on. When we went to Hawaii last month we took a hike to the ocean. After a few miles on the exposed lava fields of the Big Island, my daughter Grace ran straight for the water. She sat on the edge of the water as the waves rolled over her, again and again. I looked at her and knew that she, too, felt at home in the water. It’s not about liking to swim. It is about feeling connected and at peace. I love to look at water, but more I love to be IN the water, as does she. God lovingly created the waters of the earth and I am blessed to be at home among them.
Erin Gallawa



August 4, 2022 – Knowing

One of the strangest parts of parenting in the last few years has been realizing that my kids know things that I did not teach them. There were so many early years of their life when their whole world experience was what they saw and learned from me, my husband and the small handful of people who cared for them. One day they came home from a day with my mom saying, “Whatcha talking ‘bout Willis?” It was a surprising question from a toddler, but an entertaining one! That was just the beginning of my children learning outside our home!

At age 11, my kids have been in school for years now, are avid readers, and have discovered YouTube, so I should not be surprised when they know about the Greek gods or can tell me strange facts about ocean creatures. Yet, I am constantly surprised by what they know and can do. “Wonder and awe” is one of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit for helping us to recognize the glory of God. But I can’t help but ponder myself if God looks down upon us, His own creation, with wonder and awe at what we, His creation, can do and know.
Erin Gallawa



August 5, 2022 – Feet of Jesus

In a recent Gospel reading we heard about Mary and Martha. While Martha was busy serving, Mary sat at the feet of Jesus. I was struck by the image of Mary at the feet and began to wonder who else would have sat at Jesus’ feet. Surely it would have been women and children, or other humble people who would take any place, no matter how lowly, to be near to him. I don’t think of sitting at someone’s feet as a place of honor. Sitting at someone’s feet feels like an act of humility and openness. It reminds me of something children do, gathered close so they can see and hear unobstructed. When I think of Mary in this place, I think of a woman whose heart is so open to God that she would accept even the humblest position to be present to the word. Does my pride prevent me from coming to sit at the feet of Jesus? Am I open to hearing the word even in places I am not used to listening to him?
Erin Gallawa



August 6, 2022 – Smell

I walked past a Free Little Library one evening while I was walking my dog. It was already dark so I was surprised to see that it was lit up by happy little twinkly lights. Through the glass I couldn’t see any books I was interested in, but I opened the door anyway and I was overcome by the smell; the smell of books, the smell of my childhood, the smell of old, loved paper. When I think of books, my initial thought is that they are visual. We read them with our eyes and then create images in our head. I don’t usually associate the sense of smell with reading, but the smell of those books made me think of staying up late into the night, reading books in near darkness when I should have been sleeping. Smell evokes such strong memories. I think of some of the smells of the Church—incense, the Chrism oil my children were anointed with in Baptism, the way the church building itself smells. All of these smells connect me to people, places and liturgical celebrations. Each of our senses is a gift. Today I am grateful for the gift of smell.
Erin Gallawa



August 7, 2022 – Hospitality at the Door

When anyone leaves my parents’ house, my dad and mom (and sometimes the dog, too!) walk out to the front porch to say goodbye. It is not just a quick goodbye. It is a lingering until the car is backed out and we have driven down the long driveway. Often they will sit on the front steps and remain there. A few weeks ago Deacon David talked about hospitality in his homily, and this image of my parents saying goodbye is what immediately came to my mind. My parents’ hospitality is not just for the moments we were invited there to share—this slow, lingering goodbye is like taking home a piece of their hospitality with us. There is a spirit in the way they open their home and so graciously serve others; their goodbye is an extension of that gift.

I think about how Father stands outside after Mass to greet parishioners and say goodbye before we leave, and it reminds me of this same type of goodbye. It is full of gratitude for the time we have spent together and a peaceful farewell until we are together again. May the spirit of service and hospitality fill us all until we gather again!
Erin Gallawa

Reflections for July 25 - 31, 2022

July 25, 2022 - Proximity
The book entitled “The Proximity Principle” talks about how to position yourself near the right people and places to get the career you love. Surrounding yourself with the 5 different types of people in your desired field can help you become successful. They are the Professor (those who teach), The Professional (those who made it), the Mentor (those who help guide you), Your Peers (those who challenge you through competition) and The Producers (These are the risk takers that build opportunities). I have all these types of people in my career, and they help me move forward. You may be wondering what this has to do with a reflection, well it does not matter what aspect of your life you are looking at, the Proximity Principle works with all of it. With the different ministries like Wake Up, L.O.V.E, RCIA, Music Ministry, Bible Study and more, I have these 5 types in each ministry, and they all help me grow in my spiritual life. Listening to and reading different scholars helps me understand my faith, but it is from my peers that I gain the most. We push and support each other to be better Catholic Christians and I learn so much from their example. Lord, Thank you for these men and women in my life.
Kurt Peterson

July 26, 2022 - Calling
In the RCIA catechumens and candidates receive a sponsor who helps them through the process. And for many, the sponsor becomes a part of their lives forever. A couple of years ago, one candidate was assigned a sponsor and a true friendship began. They quite often stayed in touch and recently when the man and his wife started having serious health problems, his sponsor and wife were there to help them in so many ways. I know when this person said yes to being a sponsor, he never dreamed to what extent answering that call would lead him, which is what makes this even more special. This sponsor and his wife are true Christians in my eyes, and they hold the true meaning of community in their hearts. I have seen this type of connection in the RCIA program many times over the years. I really believe it is the Holy Spirit that choses the sponsor for these men and women; we are just His instrument in facilitating it. If you have ever thought about being a sponsor just let us know. And if you have been chosen to be a sponsor, remember it is not us that are choosing but the Holy Spirit that is choosing you.
Kurt Peterson

July 27, 2022 - Father’s Day
Last month we celebrated Father’s Day and I had most of my children with me. Even though my son was not able to come out from NYC I still had a wonderful day. We all gathered at a local brewery and talked and laughed but the highlight of the day was when my wife took a picture of me with our seven grandchildren. My grandchildren’s ages range from the oldest of almost 12 years to the two babies. I had them all gathered around me and held the babies on each arm. It kind of looks like one of those photos you would have seen from 100 years ago. Every time I look at that picture, I just feel so blessed to have all of them and their parents in my life and so close to us. That picture also reminds me that I will do nothing in my life that is more important or that will compare to creating a family. Psalms 17:6 says, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.”  Thank you, God, for you have truly blessed me, for my children are my heritage.
Kurt Peterson

July 28, 2022 - Life Happens
As many of you know a couple of weeks ago Darcy Wharton was in a terrible accident and was in the hospital for a few days. When I saw the picture of the car I saw how differently things could have been if the other car had hit her exactly where she was sitting. It was startling. We all get busy with our lives and don’t always express what the people in our lives mean to us. We always expect to see each other, but that is not always the case. We do not know the time or day when any of us will join Christ. In an instant I could have lost a very dear friend forever. As I get older, friends from my past are no longer here, and I didn’t let them know what they meant to me. Fortunately, Sarah and I will be able to have more time with Darcy, but I will not forget to let the people I love know that I love them. If you are like me, don’t miss the opportunity to let the people in your lives  know how much you care.
Kurt Peterson

July 30, 2022 - Izzy
In the early days of Covid when we were all quarantining, we got a small cockapoo, part Cocker Spaniel and part Poodle, and we have never been happier. She is such a loving dog, especially with our grandchildren. She brings joy to our lives every day and Izzy is a great example of unconditional love.  She greets my mother-in law, who lives with us, every morning and stays around her while Sarah and I are gone during the day. No matter what the day has been like, she is always happy to see us. I watch her in the back yard where she will lay down in the sun. I can imagine her taking in everything around her and just being content with what she has. Am I content with what I have? Our society tends to be in constant pursuit of things and we are rarely content with what we have. There are also so many things for us to be concerned about right now, but Jesus tells me do not worry or be afraid.  In Mathew 6:26-29 Jesus says to look at nature and see how God cares for it, “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap, nor gather in barns, yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth more than them?” Jesus also tells me: “Do not worry about the next day, because tomorrow will be worried for itself. Enough for the day is its own problem” (Mt 6:34). I can learn from nature and our pets about how to live. Jesus is not saying that I should not sow or reap or be prepared for things, but he is saying that it must not consume me.  I must trust God!
Kurt Peterson



July 30, 2022 - Unresolved
Sometimes at Mass we will end a song differently then we normally do. The song will end unresolved. This means that the ending note did not resolve the melody. I like it when music does that because it feels like the song did not finish. It is as if the song continues, much like life itself. We transition from stage to stage. Infancy, childhood, young adulthood, adulthood and elderhood and in each stage our song continues unresolved into the next stage, adding to our song. Tempos may change, new variations occur, however, it is still the same song, the song of our life. We will add to it and subtract from it until the time comes when we pass from this life to where our song will finally resolve itself when we meet God. There our song becomes part of the great heavenly composition created by the Great Composer. When that time comes, I pray that my song will be pleasing to God.   
Kurt Peterson

7/31/22   The James Web Telescope
Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth”. We are given an opportunity that no other person in human history had before. With the images that are being sent back from the James Web telescope, that is traveling through space, we are seeing the earliest images from the beginning of the universe. We may well be seeing in pictures the words of Genesis 1:1. The images that have come through so far are just amazing. Normally when we look up into the sky, we see darkness and small lights. Even though that alone shows us God’s awesomeness, these photos will show us a wonderous array of colors and shapes. No wonder he is called the Grand Painter. This is a great opportunity for me to develop a deeper understanding of God’s creation. Science has always been a part of faith for He gave us not only the ability but the yearning to understand our world and beyond. Science and faith go hand and hand. The father of the big bang theory was a Belgian Catholic priest and many of the great men that advanced discoveries in botany, physics, mathematics, biology, and astronomy were Catholics priest and friars. We believe that learning about God’s creation helps us to understand God. So, I hope you take the time to look at these pictures coming to us to see what  1Chronicles 29:11 says, “Yours, LORD, are greatness and might, majesty, victory, and splendor. For all in heaven and on earth is yours; yours, LORD, is kingship; you are exalted as head over all.”  
Kurt Peterson

July 18, 2022 - Signs from God (Ref MT 12:38-42)  The scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus “Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.” He replied, “an evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign, ….” For a faithful generation, signs from God are already there.  They are countless; some will be simple and natural, but some will be special and great. But seeking signs from God in order to believe in Him is a sin of arrogance and it comes from an unfaithful person. One should open the senses to perceive what is already existing. There are plenty of ways God has blessed me for which I am so grateful.

There was an incident of saving my life in the form of a phone call. For some it may seem a coincidence, but for me it was God’s action and one of His special signs. A few years ago, on vacation while visiting my sister, I stopped my car at a manned rail crossing to take a phone call. Suddenly, an electric shock passed through my veins as I saw a train passing through the open rail gate. If I had not stopped the car to take THAT phone call, I would have been dead. Yes, it was a lifesaving moment. 

God, I truly believe that every moment of my life is a gift to me.  Help me to open my senses to aware of Your graces and blessings around me. 
Bony

July 19, 2022 - God’s Family (Ref. MT 12:46-50)
And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Heavenly Father is my brother, and sister, and mother.”
Jesus revealed to the world a truth which was unknown till then:  we are God’s family when doing His will. The disciples left everything at his call and were with him in formation to do his mission. 

Everything I do in this world should be pleasing God. This was the basic catechism taught in our family.  We are his disciples called to do God’s will in our various vocations and given responsibilities. We have a biological family that can be God’s family when every action is pleasing to Him. 

Four years ago, as I neared my 25^th anniversary of priestly ordination, I asked my mother for her opinion about having a family celebration. Her first response was, “it is important to celebrate it with your parish family where you are called to serve.” And she was right that SSPP is my family of God. I am so thankful to SSPP for celebrating my 25th anniversary of ordination with me. We are God’s family. I was reminded that we are God’s family, we are not alone in difficult situations and we keep the spirit of being God’s family in all our endeavors.
Bony

July 20, 2022 - Rich Soil for Abundant Fruit (Ref. MT 13:1-9)
“But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirty-fold.”
While God sows the seed (His word) generously it is our responsibility to keep the soil (ourselves) rich. God the farmer, who owns us and entrusts us with personal responsibility, gives us wide opportunities to keep the soil rich and productive.

Many guided me in this process of cultivating good soil in my life.  In my childhood days it was my grandfather, parents and schoolteachers, and in later years it was seminary formation, spiritual directors etc., - I am so thankful to many for keeping me on track.
Spiritual discipline with determination and motivation can help oneself be the fertile soil for good produce. Lifelong care is needed for the soil to keep it fertile and to have abundant yields. The times I fail due to negligence and weakness, I have opportunities to amend my ways through the sacrament of reconciliation, spiritual direction and retreats.
Every farmer knows how to give the constant care that is needed to keep the soil fertile. With the help of God’s grace, I want to keep my heart ready and prepared to receive his words so that they produce good fruits. 
Bony


July 21, 2022 – The Insight (Ref. MT 13:10-17) 
“They look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand.” When the disciples asked Jesus why he spoke to the crowd in parables, Jesus quoted this from prophet Issaih. At the end of the conversation Jesus said to the disciples, “but blessed are your eyes, because they see and your ears, because they hear.”
The disciples understood Jesus for they were with him.After I had joined the seminary, in my sophomore year I met Mathai, a classmate from school, who said to me sarcastically that Jesus did not have a seminary. His family had already left the Catholic Church and embraced another denomination. I admired that he could quote the bible often to establish his stand against the church. I was unable to debate with him but I told him that Jesus had disciples walking with him. He had a grin on his face, unconvinced.

Later, during my 11 years of seminary formation I realized the courses and studies on philosophy and theology, spirituality and disciplinary life were all important but the most important was walking with Jesus and having Jesus in every moment of life. And completing the seminary life and priestly ordination is not the end, as I continue my journey with Jesus. Being with him I am able to see, hear and understand.
Bony

July 22, 2022 - Mary Magdalene (Ref. Jen 20:1-2, 11-18) 
Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and found the tombstone removed.The Risen Christ appeared to her. She went and announced to the disciples “I have seen the Lord.”
Mary Magdalene’s visit to Jesus’ tomb reflects her emotional attachment to Jesus. I have witnessed the same emotional attachment to Jesus especially in my grandfather and my mother. Their relationships with Jesus have inspired me very much (a lot). I have seen my mother praying all the time for us; and spending a lot of time in prayer even today. Nonverbally, she is telling her children that she has seen the Lord. Whenever I lift the Holy bread in consecration announcing the Body of Christ, despite my unworthiness, I am blessed to have him in my hands. He lives in me as I receive him in communion; he is attached to me physically and emotionally. He lives in me and in you because we have seen the Lord.
Bony


July 23, 2022 - Good and Evil (Ref. Matthew 13:24-30) 
The Kingdom of Heaven may be likened to a man who sowed good seed but an enemy sowed weeds in darkness. The good Sower allows the weeds to grow along with the wheat to protect it “let them grow together until harvest.”
Jesus reminds us that the reality of the world is the presence of good and evil; something we experience and worry about much of the time. We learn from the parable that wheat remains as wheat even when it grows with weeds.  By growing with weeds, it has more resistance and God gives it strength not to be damaged. Sometimes we are also pressed hard to survive but we do not lose our connection to God. My conviction in the values I was raised with never gets corrupted, even when there is an inclination to bend it; then I pray hard for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. 

It is a given truth that the good and evil exist side by side, and it is our choice to choose life or death (Ref. Deut. 30:15).
Bony


July 24, 2022 - Persistent in prayer (Ref. Lk 11:1-13) 
On a request by the disciples Jesus taught them the Lord’s Prayer. Then he revealed to them who the Heavenly Father is: a compassionate friend and a loving father who knows what his children need in life. 
Our human life is mostly focused on our wants instead of what we need in life. When I was a young child, the exam times in school were very stressful and my prayer was always to have a great score - wanting to have the questions being asked come from what I had studied. One time I asked my grandfather for some pennies to offer at the Church to do well in exams. Instead, my grandfather, who was a teacher by profession, told me to prepare well and pray for the grace to perform well as guided by the Holy Spirit. Our family had a candle lit the whole day on the family altar when something very important was going on in the family, like major exams, interviews and even celebrations. The lit candle reminded all in the family to pray for the intention and that we were all praying for a special cause.

I must pray persistently! God will provide me with what I need for he is a loving father and a compassionate friend. 
Bony

Reflections for July 11-17, 2022

July 11, 2022 - Summer
The season has changed from mild to hot, not just warm, but hot.  As my Mom used to say “…hotter than the gates of Hades.”  I, as a person raised in Southern California, am obliged to say that I like it this way.  Back then I was only an hour away from the blue Pacific and I would go there as often as possible to swim, lay out, get a sunburn and wait for a great tan long before sunscreen or warnings about skin cancer.  That was also when I was ignorant about God and didn’t worry about those gates Mom referred to.  Here I am now, decades later, wondering about the dark splotches on my skin and also wondering about the dark spots that might be on my soul.  Fortunately, I have come to know the efficacy of sunscreen and my dermatologist says the skin spots are not worrisome.  I have also gotten consolation from others who have told me that I have been absolved of those dark spots on my soul.  So here I am, free to enjoy the sun and heat because (aside from the wisdom of age) the Son has shone brightly and given me new life in Him.  I can welcome the heat.          
Deacon David

July 12, 2022 - Have it Your Way
I’m pretty sure that most of you have heard that line from a hamburger commercial.  When I order at that establishment, I do tell the counter worker just how I want my burger to be constructed.  I like cheese and onions but I try to impress the idea that the sauce/mayo that they usually use in copious amounts is not the way I prefer it.  I say something like “…just a little sauce/mayo”.  Somehow that part doesn’t get communicated to the person assembling the burger so that the sauce “runneth over”.  To be fair there was once an older lady counter worker who got what I said and made me happy but she has gone.  So let me extrapolate to what I think God might be asking when placing his order at mass where I presume to receive His body and blood. I think He wants me to be aware of how I serve Him.  Onions and a bit of cheese are O.K. but the sauce/sin should not be running over.  Any sin can be cleaned up before eating by reconciliation and penance.  Sure, I can go to a different burger joint but I like the taste of the one I reference.  I cannot, will not go elsewhere to consume God because He does it my way.                                      
Deacon David

July 13, 2022 - Reminders
My Insurance Company (You’re in Good Hands) sends an annual request for the current mileage on our vehicles to judge how much to charge for the coming year.  I’m surprised by the yearly totals and wonder where in the world did we go to rack up all those miles.  This yearly exercise reminds me of the mileage on my aging body and I wonder, as with the car mileage, where I’ve been and what I’ve done.  Truthfully, those bodily miles seem to take a bit more of my energy year to year.  That, of course, leads me to think about the spiritual miles I’ve gone during the past year and that gives me a chance to reflect and/or meditate on that journey.  When I think about spiritual journeys of past years, I’m led to think about people I’ve met and talked with, especially those who have gone through the RCIA and joined the Catholic Church.  Their journeys, like mine, have been those of growth and involvement and that reminds me that I have miles and miles to go.   
Deacon David

July 14, 2022 - What’s in Your Wallet?
A couple of weeks ago there was a special collection for what is known as Peter’s Pence.  The funds collected are remitted to the Pope for his distribution to various needs in the world.  And those needs are not specifically related to Catholics.  The Pope(s) recognize all people, regardless of religious affiliation, who are in need.  That the Pope would recognize all people as sisters and brothers emanating from God the Father is a great lesson and example to me.  Our parish also lives that example in maintaining a fund for people who approach the church for help with monetary needs, food needs and spiritual needs.  No one is turned away or asked their religious affiliation.   I wondered, when the basket came around, just how much to put in.  A couple of bucks?  Then I remembered the parable of the widow’s mite and how she put all she had in the collection while those who had much money gave out of their excess and did not follow the widow’s example of sacrifice.  So I pondered for a moment, thought about the widow again and emptied my wallet.  I say this not to extol my gift but to try to put myself in the shoes of those in need.  The next time that I see the commercial that asks “what’s in your wallet” I will remember that what is in my wallet is there because God has given me an abundance and that I, along with the Pope, have a responsibility to those who have so much less.   What’s in your wallet?
Deacon David

July 15, 2022 - Recharging
Truth be told, I am dependent upon my iPhone, as much as I don’t want to admit it. I go through a daily ritual of plugging it into an electric outlet so as not to miss any messages and to be able to (confession time) play the word game I like a lot.  Of course, I tell myself that I NEED to be available to my wife, children and parishioners so I carry the iPhone around with me, even when driving, so I won’t miss a call.  No, I don’t answer it while driving but I do pull over to check out who is calling.  At the end of the day, I liken myself to the iPhone in that I need recharging. So what do I do?  I reflect upon the day, wondering if I have fulfilled the task that God has put before me that day.  Have I omitted something I should’ve or could’ve done to help another? This question then reminds me that I have to, indeed must, plug into God and recharge.  As much as my iPhone needs electricity, I need prayer to plug into my source of strength and purpose: God.
Deacon David

July 16, 2022 - Affirmation
Way back when I worked in a California State prison as a counselor, I attended many training sessions; amongst them was one which encouraged us to reflect upon the positive aspects of our lives in relation to our jobs as well as daily life.  We were told to write reminders of those affirmative aspects on post-its and put those notes up in places where we’d see them often to help us stay positive.  I poo-pooed that advice as some new age fad but now, as I’ve done a tiny bit of maturing, I think that there is value in reminding myself, and others, that God has given gifts and talents to be shared and used not only for myself but to benefit others.  I don’t use post-it notes to affirm those God given attributes but I engage in a bit more prayer of thanks for the opportunities which I am able to respond to each day.  I like to affirm my faith foremost when I join my voice to those of others in the congregation at mass saying, “I believe in One God….” It is my hope that you too will find affirmation in the faith we share, with or without post-it notes.                                     
Deacon David

July 17 - Reflections
I am amongst numerous others in the parish who write about our thoughts relative to the faith we share as Catholics.  I won’t lie to you, it is increasingly difficult for me to come up with new thoughts and topics as I’ve been doing this for about four years.  I marvel at those wonderful book writing people such as Richard Rohr who have done reflections for not just years but decades.  Just as I was writing this, I got up to get a glass of water and passed by a mirror.  I stopped and looked at my reflection in that mirror and wondered “…what is God asking?” God has, through others, given me the opportunity to share my faith on a very basic level via these reflections, not as deep as Fr. Rohr’s, but simply mine.  So I’ll continue to struggle and plumb the depths of my experiences, the ones God has given me to reflect upon and offer for your reflection.  Perhaps I could recommend to you that the next time you take a look in the mirror that you reflect on what God is asking of you.
 Deacon David

Reflections for July 4-10, 2022
July 4, 2022 – One Nation Under God
Last month we spent some time in Concord, MA and had the opportunity to visit the Minutemen museum and North Bridge.  This is the location of the “shot heard around the world” and the first battle of the American Revolution.  During the presentation we were informed that the families of the soldiers on both sides may very well have known each other just a generation prior to the battle.  I had never considered that possibility.  In the colonists’ noble desire to break free and create a free country, a great number of lives were lost.
Today we celebrate our country.  Despite a bloody beginning and serious struggles along the way, we have maintained a belief in a country that embraces “liberty and justice for all”.  Let us celebrate those times when we have worked toward this goal and may we strive to live peacefully as “one nation under God”.        Darcy Wharton

July 5, 2022 – Let Us Mourn and Let us Dance
I recently came across a quote from Henry Nouwen which stated, “Let us mourn and let us dance”.  He was referring to the need to feel all the emotions of life.  It dawned on me that I spend most of my life somewhere in the middle of those extremes and often intentionally avoid spending any prolonged time mourning or dancing.  What might it be like to live the “extremes” of life?  There are certainly appropriate times to do both. 
I can recall many times when I chose not to dance publicly so as not to embarrass my kids or myself.  There were other times when I avoided mourning publicly to make others more comfortable.  What moments of shared humanity may have been lost due to my decisions? 
Perhaps God is stretching us to live at the edges more often!                                                                           Darcy Wharton

July 6, 2022 – Generosity
My husband and I were both sick with Covid last month after traveling and I was overwhelmed with the number of people who checked on us daily and offered to do grocery shopping, drop off a meal, pick up medication, etc. 
I know I’m not alone with my struggle to accept help.  Many of you have shared your own struggles with this.  However, I was sent a quote from author Wendy Farley which states “the good God often lets his friends fall sick so that every prop they lean on or might cling to may give way.”  Well certainly one “prop” I was holding on to was the idea that I did not need help!
Receiving from generous souls reminded me that God will use anything – health, sickness, our life’s daily events and more- to shower us with love.  What a generous God we have!                                                  Darcy Wharton

July 7, 2022- Revel in the Joy
If you’re a parent, you are aware that it is both a great responsibility and a great joy.  Most days are a mix of both, especially in the early years of parenting.  Now that our daughters are all young adults, we are in a unique position to just “watch” them from a distance.  They have all moved out and are creating their own adult lives.  My job as a parent has shifted and I am trying to catch myself when I feel the need to give unsolicited advice or to “fix” things that I feel need correction.  Fairly recently, I intentionally switched my focus to trying to revel in the joys of their lives instead of looking for ways to influence their decisions.  That is not easy!  However, focusing on what is good and right in their lives makes discovering the joy all that much easier.  We see what we are hoping to find!
It seems that Jesus did not focus as much on the mistakes of his followers but instead challenged them to grow closer to him through relationship. 
I will continue to try to revel in the joys of each of my daughters.  And as one of my daughters told me, my voice is already in their heads anyway!                                                                                                                  Darcy Wharton

July 8, 2022 – Just Follow
On a recent trip to Boston to visit our daughter Sarah, we discovered that she had created a very busy itinerary for us.  We had previously been to the area three other times, but there were things she wanted us to experience.  She crammed more things to do in each day than we ever would have attempted!  I finally stopped trying to figure out if I could keep up and just decided to follow her lead.  When I was feeling tired from all the walking (over 22,000 steps on one day in particular), she would simply say, “You can do it, Mom!”  Although I questioned if she had a realistic understanding of my physical abilities, I decided to trust her, and we had a wonderful time. 
Trusting.  Following.  These things are supposed to be basic Christian attitudes and yet they can be so difficult.   This experience helped me remember that yes, trust is difficult, but the payoff is worth it when I am following a person I trust. 
Jesus, I trust in you.                                                                                                                                                              Darcy Wharton

July 9, 2022 – The Gift of Godparents
Last month, I received the surprising news that my godmother had died. My godfather had died a few years prior.  When I say I hit the jackpot of godparents, I am quite serious.  They filled their home with love and laughter and I have fond memories as a child of being welcomed warmly at every visit.  They never missed one of my sacraments and my godmother was even a lector at our wedding.  Over the years, she left the Catholic faith to join an evangelical Church but she eventually returned.   She even watched our online Masses during the pandemic although she lived in Manteca. 
The lesson in all of this is to never underestimate the importance of godparents in a child’s life.  Done well, it can have a tremendous impact.  Her parting message to me (four days before she died) was to thank me for my constant love.  I returned the greeting and will never forget how she modeled the unconditional love of God.  May she, and all the others in heaven who were wonderful godparents, rest in peace.                Darcy Wharton

July 10, 2022 – The Good Sam Club
When I was a child, our family would occasionally take a summer road trip to go camping.  We graduated from tent camping to a small trailer.  Since these were the days before smart devices and DVD players in vehicles, my brother and I would play all sorts of travelling road games.  We also spent countless hours just staring out the window, something I don’t think any of our children experienced.
I recall seeing Good Sam stickers on various RVs on the road.  My parents told me that the sticker indicated that the people belonged to a travel assistance club.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized that the company’s name was a play on words and referenced the story of the Good Samaritan.  How clever!  Our family never joined the organization but as Catholics we were already members of the “Good Sam” club.  This famous gospel message reminds us of the importance of doing the right thing (showing mercy) regardless of any societal or cultural norms that may encourage us to do otherwise.  How many times have I ignored people in need or justified my lack of a merciful response?
These “simple” stories pack a powerful punch!                                                                                                              Darcy Wharton

Reflections for June 27-July 3, 2022
June 27, 2022 – The Power of Hugs

I was recently reading about the effects of stress on our bodies and how we can continue to physically hold stress even after the stressor has come and gone.  In my reading I learned that one way to physically release stress, besides exercise and deep breathing…is a 20 second hug.  The trick to this sort of hug though, is that both people need to be at their center of gravity, and the hug “squeeze” should be reciprocal. 

When I told my daughters about the magic of a 20 second hug, we practiced it and I thought that might be the end of it.  However, one afternoon during the last week of school my daughter came up to me and said, “Mom, I think I need a 20 second hug!”  She had been struggling with some anxiety and was desperate to tap into the magic of the 20 second hug. 

For one, I was amazed at her ability to reach into a tool box to find what she needed for her own healing.  But I was also struck that what she needed, she could not provide for herself…after all, we can’t hug ourselves.   I suppose when we meet others at our center of gravity with reciprocity, it’s not only about a hug, but it’s about helping heal one another.
-Katie Maynard

June 28, 2022 – Slide Puzzle

I am a huge fan of the show Survivor and always love when the challenges include a puzzle.  The producers and creators within that show come up with the most creative puzzles, but I think my favorite has always been the slide puzzle.  You know, the ones where everything is jumbled and you can only slide them up/down and left/right in order to get the pieces in their places.  Often it requires making the puzzle even more jumbled before the message or picture becomes clear.

I think this is true for my life as well – I get something into place in my life, only to have another piece slide out of picture/place.  The thing that I’m not so sure of is whether I will ever really get to see the full picture and “finish” the puzzle in life.  I think it may be more about constantly getting glimpses of what it might look like, and that maybe God only sees the finished puzzle.

The suffering then, is in the desperation I experience to feel like I have everything put together.  The pieces are constantly shifting and changing, so peace can only come from detaching myself form my own expectations and let God’s vision be what it will be…and just keep sliding.
-Katie Maynard


June 29, 2022 – Deep Roots

We recently had some tall Italian Cypress trees removed from our backyard, and it was fascinating to watch the arborists work.  If you have seen these trees before (perhaps lining the roads of Tuscany) you know that their tall and narrow trunks do not appear to be the sturdiest.  On the day these trees were removed, my daughters and I watched these men climb, anchoring themselves, setting up a pulley system, and removing branches as they worked their way up the tree with their harnesses.  As one of the arborists neared the top of the tree, he looked down at me and exclaimed, “The trunk is so skinny!”  I thought to myself in that moment, that for such a skinny trunk to hold this man so high up in the air, the roots must have gone very deep!

When things feel shaky or uncertain in life, it’s my roots that keep me grounded: my family and faith.  My mom once said to me that one of the greatest gifts that she ever received from my grandparents was the gift of her faith.  And now, generations later we continue to pass on the faith, creating a root system that is deep and expansive for our nourishment. 

Today, on the Feast of Saints Peter & Paul, I am filled with gratitude for the expression of my faith in this community, and I am reminded that there is no need to worry about skinny trunks when you have deep roots!
-Katie Maynard

June 30, 2022 – A World of Color

Recently we introduced our daughters to the movie, “The Wizard of Oz” to prepare them to see the musical “Wicked.”  At some point, just as Dorothy awoke in Oz and stepped out into Munchkinland, and the film turned to vibrant color, my daughter leaned over and whispered, “Mom, the movie is scarier when it’s in black and white.” 

Figuratively speaking, it’s true that when we see things in black and white, it limits our view and closes our mind to new and challenging ideas.  Based on my observations of teaching high school students, as we grow and mature, conversations become more colorful (especially conversations about faith, spirituality and church).  As we are challenged by our education and by the complexity of our lives, it becomes more difficult to see things in a strict duality.  I know it seems counterintuitive, but it’s actually when we add color and complexity to things, that it makes things less scary and more beautiful…just ask my daughter.
-Katie Maynard

July 1, 2022 – Slowing to a Stop

I have often used the metaphor of a bullet train when speaking about the school year – it whisks us away in August and then we’re thrown off the train into the summer, with our head spinning.  I acknowledge that one day, perhaps in my retirement, I may not be so affected by the frenetic rhythm of a school year.  That being said, I don’t think we need to talk about a school year to understand what it’s like to zoom through life as though we are on a bullet train.  Life can keep us moving so fast and singularly focused that we miss what is outside of our windows. 

The truth is, it takes at least one mile for a train to come to a complete stop, so even if we wanted for everything to “just stop” it’s not possible.  So, I think the question is not, “How can I stop this train?” but rather, “How can I slow this train to a stop?”  It’s what I’ve spent most of the beginning of my summer trying to do: a little more sleep, a little more prayer, and a lot more presence.  As things slow and creative space opens up, I begin to get my bearings, and find myself ready for what’s ahead…and for what’s outside of the train windows.
-Katie Maynard


July 2, 2022 – Trust Jesus!

Last week, my daughters participated in Vacation Bible School, which is always a favorite part of our summer…and this year was long awaited after a two-year hiatus.  I helped volunteer in the Bible Adventure room, and spent weeks preparing the room and scripts for each day so that the bible stories would come alive for the kids.  During the week, the hope was for the kids to encounter Jesus in Scripture in a fun and engaging way, and for them to make connections to their own lives.  

As we tried to drive home each day’s bible point, the kids’ response was “Trust Jesus!” This response made me think about how easy it is for us to talk about trusting Jesus but much more difficult it is to feel what it is like to trust Him.  If you’ve ever done a trust fall before, you know that falling backward on purpose is scary!  I think that is what it feels like to trust Jesus: a little scary, and yet I know that peace will come with the surrender of leaving things in His hands.  In the end it’s comforting to know that we’re not alone, and as one wise kindergartner exclaimed at the beginning of the VBS week, “Jesus is all around us!”  Lord, I pray that I may have the courage to fall into your arms, and trust you!
-Katie Maynard

July 3, 2022 – Savor

Summer is here, and as a teacher I have come to love summers at home with my girls.  Sure there is more refereeing between siblings and navigating the kids’ “boredom,” but it is always an opportunity to get back to basics.  It becomes time for a simplified routine, a few new chores, and reading for pleasure.  Of course there is adventure, swimming, and travel, but I think I have come to really love the day-to-day simplicity of the summer routine.  Summer vibes mean an opportunity to savor what is happening around me: I love slow mornings, and saying YES to the ice cream man; I love having my girls “helping” me around the house; and I love trips to the library and family reading time.

This same simplicity is reflected in the wisdom of our liturgical year and the beauty of Ordinary Time.  There might be a slower, more ordinary pace to this time…but it is also an opportunity to pay attention: to notice Jesus’ work in his teaching and healing ministry in our cycle of readings; to listen to the psalms; or to pay closer attention to the liturgy.

As we continue to move through Ordinary Time, I pray the same prayer for myself at home with my kids this summer: that my eyes may be open, that I may pay attention and notice God’s work in simplicity.
-Katie Maynard

Reflections for June 20-26, 2022
June 20, 2022 – Little Things

Last Good Friday I noticed the size of the Host that Father Bony raised for us to venerate during the service.  The Host was small, the size of the ones we usually receive at communion. Because there was no consecration at the Good Friday service, both the Host that was elevated and the ones we received were kept over from Holy Thursday.  The small size of this elevated Host spoke to me.  How little it seemed in comparison to the larger hosts we are accustomed to seeing during a regular Mass.  How insignificant it appeared.  How could something so unimportant in appearance be so life giving? 

I thought about the gospel stories about the Eucharist, as well as the stories of Jesus’ life and realized how consistent the message is, both visually and when proclaimed:  God is in the little, seemingly insignificant things.  Jesus was born in a stable.  During his ministry he had no set address. He chose to be with the working poor, the marginalized and the outcast.  He accomplished our salvation, not with the grand armies the Zealots were hoping for, but by dying on a cross like a common criminal.  He used small, insignificant, ordinary things in his miracles:  touch, words, spittle, water, bread and wine.  As I meditated on this, that small, insignificant Host became for me a visual experience of Jesus and his entire insignificant human life; insignificant, that is until the Resurrection taught us that God himself is present in small and seemingly unimportant things.
Jane Haproff
 

June 21, 2022 - God Is Here

I recently attended the Woman’s Parish Retreat. The theme was Finding God in All Things, and one of the suggested ways of doing that was simply to say “God is Here” in any circumstance.

A few nights ago, I could not sleep.  As I tossed and turned I became aware of certain things around me:  David’s breathing,  a breeze through the window causing the pocket door in the hallway to rattle, an itch in the middle of my back that I couldn’t reach, coyotes howling.  I remembered to acknowledge consciously that “God is here” and a certain calmness came over me.  Then my hip hurt, so I turned over and my nose got stuffy, the blanket was too heavy and just the sheet not enough, again “God is here” and more peace.  I heard some small animal bump against the outside of the house, a car alarm begin to beep which was quickly turned off, a train go by in the distance, a light drizzle beginning to fall and, yes, “God is here".

How strange to experience God in someone else’s breath, a breeze, a noisy door, an itch, pain, discomfort, heat, cold, and yes, even in car alarms in the middle of the night and people who tend to them immediately, a train, an animal, the rain…truly I experienced God with me in so many different ways and just when I became grateful for all of it I fell asleep.
Jane Haproff

June 22, 2022 - God Chose Me

In a homily recently, Fr. Bony reminded us that we were chosen by God.  My first reaction to this was a sense of joy, privilege, and responsibility.  Then I immediately wondered how that would sound to non -believers.  The ones I know might feel envy or anger - a sort of why you and not me.  I thought then about what it means to be chosen.  I liken it to having my 5^th grade teacher ask me to stay after school to help her clean blackboards and erasers, empty the trash and maybe help decorate a bulletin board.  I felt so “chosen”, but not necessarily favorite.  It was enough to be asked.

I once heard a priest describe it this way:
Imagine you have just died and been ushered through the Golden Gates to a marvelous banquet.  Every delicacy you can imagine is there on a table laden with crystal and gold.  Jesus comes up to you, welcomes you and with one arm around you shows you into the kitchen saying “My good friend, you have been working with me and for me all of your life.  I couldn’t wait until you got here to help me serve all these other people who didn’t know or believe I existed”.

Those who don’t believe still do God’s work in so many ways and are blessed for it.  They just don’t have the pleasure of knowing that they are working side by side in the kitchen with God.
Jane Haproff

June 23, 2022 – What God Do I Choose?

Yesterday I wrote about being chosen by God when I realized I also have a choice: I can choose my own image of God.  Many worldly gods are available to me:  money, career, family, culture, politics etc.  Kierkegaard, one of my favorite philosophers, even referred to our moral commitments as a kind of God.  But there are also many images of God within my Catholic beliefs.  There is the God of devotion, who wants to be appeased, worshiped and adored. There is the transactional God; the “I will say three rosaries if you put that baby back to sleep” kind of God.  There is the God who makes everything right, evening things out in some cosmic way. There is the God who makes rules and keeps records; the one Kierkegaard cautions us against.  There can also be a tendency to make the institutional Church itself into God instead of the Body of Christ.  And then there is St. John’s simple description of God:  Love.  These are only a few of the ways God is presented to us. And if I’m honest I have moved back and forth among them sometimes on the same day.  I intentionally chose the God of love, but there are so many distractions, so much bad news that it is very hard to dwell in God’s love.  Martin Buber, another favorite of mine, refers to the “eclipse of God”…that He is hidden behind a cloud of our own making. 

God of love, clear the skies and our minds that we may dwell in your light and love .
Jane Haproff

June 24, 2022 – Church

There are many different ways to think about “church”.  It can refer to a belief system, to a group of people, to a set of rituals and to a building.   Right now I’m thinking of the building or place itself.  One weekday morning I arrived for Mass early.  The Church was nearly empty and dimly lit. The chalice and paten had already been placed on the altar.  There was a quietness there that seemed to penetrate my being; a stillness that made me think of the hymn, “There Is a Presence in This Place.” I was able to experience quiet, with reminders all around me of sacredness:  the Tabernacle, the lit candle beside it, the chalice and paten…all pointing me to the richness our faith and the presence of God.  At Sunday Mass I again arrived a bit early and sat in the pew listening to the sounds of the Church filling with people:  kneelers being lowered, Missalette pages rustling, but mostly the sound of greetings, people glad to see one another and to be together, some laughter, shaking hands and hugs.  We were invited to formally greet those around us, and then join in the entrance song.  Let the liturgy begin…there is a presence in this place.
Jane Haproff

June 25, 2022 – Wind Chimes

These last few days have been breezy, with slight winds blowing gently and then gusting and dying down off and on all day.  We have two sets of wind chimes hanging on our front porch located parallel to each other and about eight feet apart.  What has been interesting for me to notice is that they don’t both chime at the same time.  It might be the case that one rings, and several minutes later the other one does, but they rarely chime together.  First, on the same set of wind chimes different notes sound at different times and then different sets of wind chimes ring at different times and with different tones but they all make a “beautiful noise”.  I’m sure someone can explain to me the subtle differences in air currents, but it made me think about us…the people of God as wind chimes. We are all hanging from the same string of beliefs and practices, yet our music rings out differently. We’re struck by the spirit differently and we make different music at different times, all trying to praise God, each in our own way and our own time.
Jane Haproff

June 26, 2022 - Sins vs Sin

Long ago in a theology class somewhere a priest remarked that we should be conscious that God took away the SIN of the world, the stain of sin… all of it.  But we pray “sins of the world” as if there were a container of sins that God was concerned with.  Ever since then I’ve prayed “Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world”.  As I was thinking about this at Mass recently an important difference between the two became clear.  I thought about what I personally mean when I say the “sin of the world” and I found myself thinking it was a bit impersonal.  Sin is what is wrong with the world.  It’s an abstract, universal, chronic condition that affects us all: sin, as if we can’t escape it especially in our neighbors.  However when I said “sins of the world” I was aware of my own wrong doing.  It became very personal…the stuff of “what I have done and what I have failed to do”.  It’s not a chronic condition, it’s something I have a choice about.  And though it is true that I continue to sin, it is also true that the stain is gone and I, with my sinfulness, have been redeemed.
Jane Haproff

Reflections for June 13-19, 2022
June 13, 2022—Re(creation)

One of my wife’s “bucket list” items was to see Niagara Falls.  I had previously been there twice, but not for over 20 years.  In early May, my wife and I, along with another couple, flew to Niagara Falls and spent a week on the Canadian side, staying in the small village of Niagara on the Lake, about 10 miles north of the Falls.

The highlight of our trip was seeing the Falls.  A spectacular wonder, they touched all our senses from seeing their beauty to hearing their strong roar to experiencing the falls on the Maid of the Mist boat (it was like being baptized). We couldn’t help but ask, “How could anyone look at the Falls and not believe in God?” 

Throughout our stay, we enjoyed beautiful weather and were welcomed everywhere we went.  We learned that the Niagara, Canada area is situated in a beautiful wine country.  Niagara on the Lake had a small downtown area with excellent restaurants and home to an annual theatre festival.  Our hotel offered a beautiful view of the Niagara River and Lake Ontario, and the vicinity had beautiful walking trails surrounded by colorful tulips in full bloom.  The area was very historical, playing a prominent role in the War of 1812.  I marveled at how American and British citizens, once enemies at war, had become good friends.

Every now and then, a vacation can be magical.  We seemed to be (re)created in the backyard of God’s own beautiful creation.

Bob Leathers

June 14, 2022—Liturgies—Part I

The word “liturgy” means “the work of the people.”  As the new deacon and also as new parishioners, my wife, Cindy, and I have observed how much “work” by so many “people” goes into the celebration of our Sunday masses.  (In the Eastern Catholic churches, Sunday masses are called “Divine Liturgies.”)

In my previous parishes, both before and after I was ordained a deacon, it seemed like one or just a few people did all the work.  As a deacon, sometimes I needed to arrive early to open the sacristy, put out the vessels and other items needed for mass, turn on the sound system, and do any other “last minute” preparations.  At SS. Peter & Paul, my experience has been so different.  When I assist as a deacon, I really only need to show up and get vested.  Everything is already done.  Wow!

We are so blessed to have a wonderful Coordinator of RCIA and Liturgy, Coordinator of Music, and a group of committed volunteers to serve as Mass Coordinators, EM Coordinators, Ushers, Readers, EMs, Altar Servers, Greeters, musicians and singers, and AV and Live-stream projectionists. (Apologies for forgetting anyone.)  At SS. Peter & Paul, our masses—our liturgies—are truly the work of the people.  Eucharist means “thanksgiving,” and the Leathers family is grateful for such good liturgies at our new parish.

Bob Leathers

June 15, 2022—Liturgies—Part II

The Holy Week and Easter Sunday liturgies at SS. Peter & Paul gave me pause to reflect on these services, among the most solemn and holy of the year.  This year the words that came to my mind were inspiring, uplifting and prayerful.  Perhaps it was because we really couldn’t celebrate them in a suitable manner for the past three years due to the pandemic.  But this year, these liturgies were special, the best I’ve ever attended both before and after being ordained a deacon.

Our Holy Week and Easter Sunday liturgies were truly the “work of the people” of our parish.  Many hours were spent in planning, drafting the scripts, selecting and practicing the music, and conducting multiple rehearsals.  The scripts included brief explanations, particularly for the three movements of the Triduum which spanned the time from the Mass of the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday to the celebration of Christ’s passion on Good Friday, to the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday evening.

I was moved and blessed to be part of these wonderful celebrations and liturgies, and grateful for the work and contributions of our staff and volunteers.

Bob Leathers

June 16, 2022—Does Persistence Pay Off?

A few years ago in middle school (smile!), my favorite subject was math.  I was taking both second year algebra and geometry courses.  I had a string of A’s going but found myself on the cusp of receiving a B for the first time.  I really liked my math teacher, so it happened that as the grading period was ending, we both happened to be at the local grocery store.  I followed him around while he was shopping, pleading my case for an A.  I guess this is no different than a child following their mother around a toy store, wearing her out while her child explains over and over again in painstaking detail why he or she needs this or that toy.  And if you didn’t get what you wanted, it’s easy to conclude that your parent or teacher was not fair.

This story has been a reminder to be persistent in our pursuits, and especially so in the face of injustice.  Over time, I’ve learned that the pursuit of justice is not a one-person show; we need the help of companions and the action of our community.  It challenges us to ask: Do we stand by while others pursue justice, or do we also get involved?

By the way, I did get the A in my math class and over the years, my teacher taught me a lot more than math.  When Cindy and I got married, my math teacher was the best man at our wedding!

Bob Leathers

June 17, 2022—Community
When Cindy and I moved to Roseville in mid-2020, we not only missed the Bay Area locale, but also the communities of which we were a part.  These included our parish, diaconate and our respective work communities.  Initially, the pandemic didn’t make it easy to become part of new communities in the Roseville area.

Once we moved into our home in Roseville, things started to fall in place.  We became part of a neighborhood group consisting of 20 or so families.  One neighbor hosts a men’s coffee every week, and most of us take turns bringing breakfast goodies.  Cindy and the other women get together monthly for a bunko night.  Another community has been SS. Peter & Paul.  We have been so graciously welcomed.  I’ve been invited to our parish’s Cursillo men’s reunions, and both Cindy and I are blessed to be part of the Sacramento diaconate community, too.

We still miss the communities we had in the Bay Area.  Cindy still hosts our former parish’s Women’s Book Club every two months on Zoom!  But we are overjoyed at becoming a part of our new communities.  In addition to the social activities, members support each other.  When a neighbor recently had surgery, neighbors took turns making dinner each night for a week.  And we’ve also helped each other with rides to the airport. 

Our communities bring us life and we are very grateful.  As the Lord speaks to us in Genesis, we are not meant to be alone.

Bob Leathers

June 18, 2022—Life’s Curve Balls
A few years before my father passed away, my mother was diagnosed with dementia.  Eventually she needed a walker in the house and a wheelchair if she went out.  Dementia and Alzheimer’s are diseases that eat away at memory and the body’s motor skills.  It’s not easy to watch a parent or someone you love suffer from such diseases.  It’s also not easy to care for them when you are an only child.

Friends and family encouraged me.  They said, “Have faith.  Don’t be afraid of your cross.  In caring for your parents, you are caring for Christ.”  (Jesuit Father James Martin once quoted a nun whose illness confined her to a wheelchair for many years.  When the Mother Superior encouraged her to imitate Jesus in carrying her cross, the nun quipped, “Jesus only had to carry his cross for a few hours.”)

Fortunately, I had supportive friends and family.  I was able to hire a caretaker to spend weekdays with my parents.  Occasionally, she stayed overnight so I could get away.  After my father passed away, I had a friend who took me on a trip to Boston (my favorite city) to get away for a weekend.

Looking back, I could see that my friends were correct.  In caring for my parents, I was caring for Christ.  But I could only see that after they had died.  The paradox of our faith is that the cross is the path to life, the sign of God’s enormous, incomprehensible love for us. 

Bob Leathers

June 19, 2022—This Is Us
Yesterday, I reflected on my mother’s dementia.  Today, I’m reflecting on a TV family’s struggle with dementia, poignantly conveyed in the NBC series, This Is Us. NBC recently aired the series’ final episode.  Much of the final season dealt with Rebecca Pearson’s (played by Mandy Moore) dementia, and the difficult decisions her three children, Kevin, Randall and Kate, faced as Rebecca’s dementia worsened.

Each sibling had a different idea of where their mom should spend her last days.  When the siblings met at the family home in Pittsburgh, they argued about the best approach.  Kevin and Randall wanted to move Rebecca to their homes in Los Angeles and Philadelphia, respectively, but the two brothers wouldn’t listen to each other and pushed back on Kate’s approach, while acknowledging their mom appointed Kate to be Rebecca’s guardian.  But Kate had observed that her brothers never looked into their mom’s eyes when they spoke with her and never touched her.  If they couldn’t look at or touch her, why would anything change if Rebecca moved in with one of them?  Challenged by Kate, Kevin offered to move his family from Los Angeles to Pittsburgh and live in Rebecca’s home.  This solved the dilemma.  

Rebecca’s dementia brought her three children together.  This moving and poignant episode made me reflect on how much we need to support each other in the face of a crippling illness and how the power of love can restore hope when everything seems hopeless.

Bob Leathers

Reflections for June 6-12, 2022
June 6, 2022 - Motherhood and Mary as Our Model
Being a mother is my greatest achievement and one that brings joy and pain sometimes all at once. Raising teenagers is not easy, let alone three of them at once. When the kids were 4, 3, and 1, life was busy, chaotic but full.  As the kids turn 18, 17, 14, and 10 (bonus baby) I am aware again of how chaotic, busy, and full our lives are.  We are richly blessed with health, stable income, and activities abounding,  but on occasion my teen(s) and I may struggle to agree on expectations or deliverables.  It’s then that I ponder how Mary would handle this situation.  How would she handle a miscommunication or dispute with Jesus?   She was steady, grounded in God’s truth and love even when she saw her Son die on the cross..  Her love for God and her Son did not diminish despite the pain.  She did not have an ego of “my Son” or allow her feelings to cloud submitting to God’s will.
When I get to the heart of the issue in a dispute and am over my hurt feelings about our miscommunication, I go back to “speak truth with love.”  I am reminded by Mary’s example that truth has no ego; truth has no feelings; truth is inherently what God calls us to seek – seek him in all ways through truth and love. 
Bianca Hennager

June 7 2022 - Miracles in Our Midst
Fourteen years ago our family with three small children moved up to the Sacramento area when my husband accepted a teaching position up here. My husband took a slight pay cut to move here as we wanted to be near family and fell in love with the area when we visited.  Working out the details of the pay cut didn’t seem insurmountable, but the cost of benefits nearly broke us.  It was 2008 and most school districts stopped paying 100% benefits to new hires. My husband was tenured at his previous school so we had 100% of our benefits paid.  Having to pay for benefits for a whole family was eye opening.  I remember pinching more pennies than I would have liked just to keep the lights on.  One small miracle that came around this time was undelivered mail.  My aunt had sent us card on the birth of our daughter in August, but we never received it.  I thought it was lost in the mail.  Finances grew exceptionally tight especially as the Holidays approached, when a pleasant surprise showed up in our mail.  It was my Aunt’s card stamped “insufficient postage” requires $0.25 additional postage.  Someone paid the postage for us and in the card there was a very generous gift card which helped us finance our kids’ Christmas!    I know if we had received the card when it was originally intended it would not have been spent on gifts for the holidays.  The timing of this generous gift was truly miraculous and something I will never forget.
Bianca Hennager

June 8, 2022 - Courage under Change
The end of the school year has come, and with it a lot of change, and not only on the home front.  My oldest leaves for college, another daughter enters high school, and I was recently asked to lead a department that is struggling with changes within the business.  I was excited at the opportunity to lead a new team.  But shortly into the role, I realized it would be a heavy undertaking to help eight leaders adjust to the necessary fast- paced rate of change.  Several on the team were also struggling with personal stressors outside of work which compounded their resistance to change in the workforce.   I worked individually with each leader to identify specific obstacles and I committed to resolve each of them.  I was mentally and physically exhausted by this.  Typically, I would spend 12 hours a day trying to meet the needs of each of my team members.  As the leader of leaders, I felt alone in my vision of what I saw each leader capable of. My boss was encouraging when I became weary and worn down.  It takes a lot of courage to lead others in the ways that are needed to make change.  Some days I questioned if it was worth all the sacrifice and time spent on lifting others up. 
We are still amid change and transformation but some of the team leaders are helping to lift others up on the team.  I am continually surprised by how God uses each of us to help carry out his Divine Plan whether we recognize it in the moment or not. 
Bianca Hennager

June 9, 2022 - Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord
“Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.  I want to see you.”  Seeing the Lord with our heart  helps us to open our eyes.  When things seem impossible and unlikely God can move mountains.  Right after graduating college and coming home I began a Young Adult Ministry at my local Church.  I remember speaking after one of the Masses about the need for volunteers for an upcoming eveny we were hosting when I saw a young gentleman standing towards the back of the Church.  I personally invited him to the event and asked for his commitment.  He was taken aback by my direct nature but hesitantly agreed.  Upon arriving at the event, I thanked him for coming and put him to work.  He had so much fun serving and helping that the next time he didn’t need an invitation.  I saw how he became more involved in our Ministry and in Church in general.  About 5 years later, he was serving at the Archdiocesan level as an advisory member and still very involved in our local Church.  I asked him one day what made him decide to become so involved.  He commented that it was from being personally called to serve.  The experience which was happen stance on my part of seeing someone and personally inviting him to serve was life changing for him.  I do not take the credit for his experience as I felt it was the Holy Spirit moving through me to help open his eyes to what the Lord was calling him to do.  Being able to witness years later how he continued to minister to others was such a blessing.    
Bianca Hennager

June 10, 2022  - End of School Year Drain
The end of the school year is filled with lots of events and a race to the finish line.  As we draw closer to the finish line, I am drained.  Each morning is a challenge to get the kiddos out the door to school on time; breakfast is skipped or rushed and eaten on the run; and dinner is mostly out unless there is a fast option at home.  In these moments it is hard to see God at work in my life.  Everything seems like a grind with little joy.  And then I am reminded of the freedom of summer days:  sleeping in, long days at the pool; sun burns that turn into suntans; simple dinners; and popsicles.  That helps propel me to get through the end of the year.  And all the while God is inviting me to spend more time with him in this busy time.  I am reminded of a saying, “Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer daily, except when we are busy – then we need an hour.”  It is in my busy moments that I need to stop and focus on what truly matters – spending time with Jesus in prayer.  I make the time when I’m in the car or in little breaks throughout the day.  I am looking forward to a little retreat this summer where I can spend time in prayer with our Lord and be surrounded by other faith filled women to help me grow in my faith.  I hope to be energized by this experience and to be able to give back to others who may need the same thing.
Bianca Hennager
June 11, 2022 - What Is “Good”?

When I use the word “good” it seems like such a bland descriptive term yet so hard to embody.  I remember when I taught upper elementary we would have words that we would “ban” the use of in writing since they are often over used.  Good was one of those words.  Nice was another word added to the list.  As a class we came up with other more descriptive words to help depict what the author was trying to convey.  When I think. “what does it mean to be ‘good’” so many things come to mind.   A good upright person of faith is someone who seeks the Lord, prays, holds their tongue, listens with an open heart, and is a witness to what the Gospel preaches.  The saints had all of these traits and more.  As a follower of Christ I work to embody these qualities – some days it’s harder than others.  As a parent, I try to instill the importance of these qualities in my children.  As a spouse I try to witness to these qualities to help my spouse.  Often I question how a person who is on the journey of faith can speak of what is good when they are still learning it.  It comes down to not only being able to speak about what is good but striving to live a life that is good.  I fall short many days and I work to make amends for my many shortcomings.  I pray that my family can see my efforts and know that I am full of good intentions. 
Bianca Hennager

June 12, 2022 - Holy Trinity Sunday
God the Father is easy to relate to as I have a father.  God the Son is easy to relate to as I have a son.  God the Holy Spirit – who is that exactly?  As I recall the beautiful mystery of the Holy Trinity it is something that confounds me and is something I work to relate to.  It is easy to speak of the “Spirit” as somethone that moves throughout my life, bringing gifts and fruits. But I find it easier to focus on the tangibles or things that make sense.  The gifts of the Holy Spirit and fruits of the Holy Spirit are two things that help to guide me in knowing God the Holy Spirit better.  I wonder if there is more that I am missing?  I know that this is one of our greatest mysteries of faith. I know that God will make known all the questions that I have stored away in my mind when the time comes.  For now, I accept it as a mystery and not something that I fully understand. 
Believing in something that I don’t fully understand reminds me of the saying “the blind will see”.  I may be blind to knowing, but one day I will see.  One day it will all make sense, and it is okay that it doesn’t all make sense now.  As a questioner and worrier this can be hard for me at times.  It is during those moments that I call upon Our Father to help guide me and to help me be at peace with not knowing.  As we celebrate Holy Trinity Sunday may we revel in this mystery of faith knowing God is amazing and can do all. 
Bianca Hennager

Reflections for May 30-June 5, 2022

May 30, 2022 - Physical Meets Spiritual

A wise cross-country coach taught me how to improve my running times and distance. He suggested that I aim for a landmark and tag it when I reach it. I would choose a rock, tree or road sign to mark a turnaround point or distance achieved. The importance of this practice was to physically touch the landmark when I arrived. I still use this technique. I have a stop sign at the top of a challenging hill that I hit with great satisfaction when I reach the top, out of breath and spent. When I feel like quitting, I look ahead to a tree that I want to reach and when I do I rub my hand along the bark of the trunk to prove to myself that I made it.

I related this concept recently when discussing the sacraments at a retreat that I attended. We were discussing how physically receiving God’s blessing makes our connection with him more tangible. I’m able to hold the body of Christ in my hands during my weekly celebration of the Eucharist. My children were able to feel and smell the oil used in confirmation on their foreheads. I’m reminded of the marriage sacrament when I twist the wedding ring around my finger. I watched my infants get emerged in the holy water of baptism.

The physical can bring the spiritual. The goal may not be a faster 5K but a closeness to Christ. What can we be physically and tangibly doing to achieve this?
Jen Payan

May 31, 2022 - Family Vacations
Being the CEO of family operations, I’m often overwhelmed when planning family vacations. The amount of organizing, planning, and preparation is daunting. I carefully select our accommodations for comfort and activities that will keep everyone busy and engaged. I want everyone to be happy and satisfied. I spend much time planning and worrying that everything will be up to my family’s expectations.

After reflecting on the stress associated with vacation planning, I decided to do a quick text survey inquiring from each member what their most memorable moments on vacations over the years have been. What was interesting is that not one of them mentioned the quality of the accommodations, activities, or meals. But they all mentioned times that we all laughed together. The most popular response recalled an incident in which we all laughed until we cried. It involved a swan, a patio of quiet diners, and a flatulent member of our family trying to blame it on the swan- if you must know. They also mentioned witnessing nature - seeing baby monkeys in a tree, discovering sand dollars, and making it to the top of a ridge overlooking the ocean.

This is a great reminder of God’s intentions for our family time together. He wants us to laugh and find joy. He wants us to enjoy his creation. He probably isn’t terribly concerned about the logistics.  He gave us our families to be in communion with him and each other. The take home: enjoy the moments, drop the pressure of perfection.
Jen Payan

June 1, 2022 - The Peter in All of Us
This Lenten season, I was reminded of my love for the apostle Peter. He loves Jesus with such great intensity and is always striving to be close with him and do what Jesus asks. However, he often falls short.

After pledging his love to Jesus during the Last Supper, he claims himself a devoted disciple but then asks Jesus who is the greatest among his apostles, trying to get the “you are my favorite” wink from Jesus. Jesus immediately calls him out on his pride. Then after pledging his complete faithfulness to Jesus, Peter folds under pressure and denies that he even knows him.

My favorite Peter story is when Jesus comes to the disciples’ rescue during a storm by walking across the water to reach their boat. Peter impulsively leaps from the boat to meet Jesus, believing he will surely be able to walk toward his teacher. Unfortunately, as soon as his feet hit the water he becomes afraid and starts to sink. He cries out “Lord save me!” Jesus reaches out, catches him, and asks “why did you doubt?” He says “you of little faith” to Peter. While Peter’s heart so confident in Jesus’ love he still had that moment of fear and insecurity.

Don’t I often act as Peter did?  I love and trust in God, but as soon as fear, doubt or grief set in I begin to waiver. But I think scripture makes it clear, especially when telling the story of Peter’s relationship with Jesus, that I am always going to be forgiven, loved, encouraged, and corrected by God.
Jen Payan
 
June 2, 2022 - Fire
My husband recently retired after 30 years in the fire service. People often ask him what fighting fire was like. Most have the Hollywood perspective:  charging into a burning room with water and axes, looking for victims who they triumphantly save.

Real firefighters tell a different story. Entering a burning building is a blind experience. The room is dark with smoke. Walls guide them in a crawl, searching the rooms, feeling for victims who have often succumbed to smoke, not knowing if they are alive or not. Rescuers are laden with heavy equipment and air tanks and constantly fight disorientation. They just work diligently to find their way back to the point of entry to deliver victims to medics standing by.

Recently, fire departments have started using thermal imaging cameras. While they are still trained to work in the blind, these cameras have given them the gift of vision and light. They use the camera to scan the room intermittently during a search, improving their orientation and ability to spot a victim and get them both safely to the exit.

I feel that is what letting God into your life can do. I know that he provides the light and security I need, but often I ignore it and grope around in the dark. The stress and pressure can be enormous when I act without his help. He has given all of us access to the gift of his light. I just need to remember to keep it in my tool bag!  Are you ready to start using your God imagining camera?
Jen Payan


June 3, 2022 - Tattoos
I’ve seen many tattoos in my 30 years as a nurse and EMT, from the humorous to the artistic to the offensive. And, the tattoo might give me a little insight into who this person is.

I recall caring for a trauma victim in the ICU that was in a coma on a ventilator with some very disturbing tattoos displaying racism and hate. Large swastikas covered the back of his head and chest. Staff immediately took offense. We did our best to provide compassionate care, but it wasn’t easy.

 After this patient recovered and was discharged, a physician friend of mine shared a story with. At this man’s follow up visit to his office, the man asked “do my tattoos offend you?” My friend answered truthfully, “yes, they do. I’m Jewish and it is very hard to see the swastikas on your skin.” To my friend’s surprise, the man apologized, saying he had gotten the tattoos during a difficult time in his life and they no longer reflected his values. He now had to live with them. My friend accepted the apology and was moved by the man’s story.

What an amazing lesson! I had been seething in anger and hurt since my first contact with this man. The tattoos had defined him. I had not taken the time to hear his story because I had already judged him. I know situations like these are gifts from God that help change my heart and mind. He is constantly teaching me ways to be more Christian.
Jen Payan

June 4, 2022 - By Myself!

One of my daughters was so terribly independent as a child that I think her first words were “by myself!” She insisted on picking her own outfits, dressing herself, and putting on shoes without assistance. She would refuse a hand when climbing a tree or balancing on a narrow beam. Of course, this led to accidents – a broken arm falling off a short retaining wall, a black eye from swinging a golf club, to name a few. Never mind the crimes against fashion.

I know many parents reading this are relating right now. You know, the one kid that gave you a heart attack at the park when they tried standing on top of the swing set? Or that you lost track of at the store and found them wandering the isles on their own? What about the one who would only push their own stroller and never sit in it? As a parent, these experiences are both terrifying and infuriating at the same time. So much patience and calmness are required to parent our independent little ones. Yet, we still want them to have adventures, make their own decisions, and be daring. We just long for their safety and wellbeing.

I imagine that is how our God the Father feels about caring for us.  He has given us all free will and an amazing creation to live in. And, He wants me to experience it, but not necessarily “by myself.” He wants to protect and care for me. He wants to help me thrive. I need to remember to reach up and grab his hand when he offers it.  Asking for help from him just makes me stronger and keeps me safe.
Jen Payan

June 5, 2022 - Not Enough
Recently, while studying the book of Exodus with my bible study group, I was part of many discussions about the complex character of Moses. Many of us were astounded by his transformation from an insecure young man to one of the strongest leaders of the Israelites. What we found most relatable was his initial doubt in his abilities when he was called by God. Even after getting a personal invitation (via burning bush) from God to lead his people he still didn’t have the confidence to take the position. Many times he voiced his insecurities to God. “I’m not a good speaker” and “nobody is going to listen to me.” But God himself was telling Moses that he was capable.

How many times have I felt I was “not enough?” Or have I felt that I didn’t have what it takes to get through a challenging situation? Through the story of Moses, God is assuring me that He will always provide us with the skills and talents to help us. Especially if we are receiving a call from him.
Jen Payan

Reflections for May 23-29, 2022
May 23, 2022 – Busy
Earlier this year I found myself busy being involved in many different activities and there was still more that I wanted to do. Some of the things I wanted to do conflicted with other commitments I had already made, and I couldn’t do it all. It was a stressful time being as busy as I was, while also being a sad time since I couldn’t do it all. Reflecting on this, I realized that it’s important to accept that sometimes you can’t do everything you want to, whether it’s because of time conflicts or the inability to handle everything, and that is ok. As for dealing with the stresses of having a lot to do in a short time, I need to remind myself that I can only do one thing at a time. Oftentimes, if I look at my calendar and see a lot of meetings, events, rehearsals, etc., I tend to stress out about not having enough time to just relax. Sometimes I have things on my calendar that are supposed to be fun and should be things I look forward to, but instead of looking forward to it, I stress about the planning I need to do or the other responsibilities I have before or after those days. I need to take things one day at a time and enjoy every moment as they come. After all, even God didn’t create the universe all in one day!
Heidi Schuyler

May 24, 2022 – Masks
This past year I volunteered to lead a Youth and Family Faith class. This is not my first year volunteering, but this time was different from the past. Because of COVID-19, everyone had to wear a mask during class time. I had no complaints about this because I believe everyone’s safety is very important. However, I found that the masks made it difficult to connect to the students. I had a hard time figuring out if they were following me as I talked, if they were bored, or if they were getting something out of the class. I didn’t know if I was doing a decent job engaging them in discussion. Many of the students in my group rarely participated in discussion and I didn’t know if they were just shy or if they didn’t care. One day, after I made some take-away points on a discussion question, I decided to ask if what I said made sense to them and if they agreed or disagreed because everyone kept quiet. Some of the students nodded in agreement, and one let me know that they’re all just taking it in and processing it in their own way. That was good to know and helped me feel better. The challenges that I had with my class reinforce the idea that facial cues are very important for human connection and I pray for a day when COVID-19 can completely be seen in the rearview mirror.
Heidi Schuyler

May 25, 2022 – Energy
My parents have told me stories of adventures they  took before I was born. Once they spontaneously took a road trip from Sacramento to Utah without even stopping. They told me that they had so much energy when they were younger but now could no longer take such a trip at their age. Being about the same age that they were at that time, I reflected on how I don’t feel like the energy I have now matches what they used to have. I am always tired and I don’t want to do anything most of the time. I often must force myself to get out of the house and exercise. I wondered why I and many of my peers lack the energy that our parents’ generation seemed to have at our age, and I think it has to do with the fast-paced world we’re living in now. In the past, when we didn’t have computers and all the other technology we have today, completing various tasks for work or school took longer and expectations of the time it should take were lower. Now we live in a fast-paced world where everything is at our fingertips, and more is expected of us. The stress from all of this can be overwhelming and make us more tired. I think a good solution to this problem is finding time to relax and destress at the end of every week – even God needed to take time for rest after creating the universe!
Heidi Schuyler


May 26, 2022 – Prayer
There are so many ways for us to pray; my favorite is just simply talking to God. In prayer, I like to thank Him for the many blessings He has given me, give Him praise, and express to Him my fears and frustrations. I also often ask for guidance in certain situations when I don’t know what to do. When I ask for clarity, I hope to hear an answer from Him but I usually don’t get it. I started to think that maybe I don’t get answers sometimes because I’m not opening my ears and heart. Sometimes I’m afraid of the answer I think I will get because that answer might be that what I want is not good for me or I might be told I’m called to do something that I don’t want to do. Because of this, I think I often don’t spend extra time in silence waiting for an answer from God when I pray. In prayer, I ask the Lord for answers to my questions and problems but then I have trouble opening myself up to accept them. So I pray: Open my ears, Lord. Help me to hear your voice.
Heidi Schuyler

May 27, 2022 – Rejection
Rejection is a reality that we all face in life. It is something that I experienced recently. It always stings and is disappointing, but I must remember Matthew 21:42: “The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.” Although Jesus was rejected by the Jewish people and crucified, He became the cornerstone of our Church and faith. A lot of good can come out of rejection. In some cases, a rejection can push me to look at ways I can improve myself and maybe be successful next time. In other cases, nothing may need to be improved and a rejection could just mean that a better opportunity that I don’t know about yet will present itself later. When one door closes, another one opens. I have to trust that when things don’t work out the way I want, it is either because I can learn from it, or God has a better plan for me.
Heidi Schuyler


May 28, 2022 – Light Up the Darkness
I have been hearing more and more news about mass shootings and other violent crimes lately, including the recent news of a racially motivated mass shooting at a supermarket in Buffalo, NY. When I think about the lives lost, I am filled with both anger and sadness for the hate and evil in the world. I want these horrible acts to be put to an end, but I don’t know how I can personally stop them. When you are only one person, it can seem like nothing you do will be enough to make a change, but this is not true. Just as the Easter candle is lit from the fire at the Easter Vigil each year and the flame is passed on from person to person until all candles are lit, so can our own lights be passed on from person to person until the whole world is lit up and darkness is conquered. We may have a long way to go until this is achieved, but it all starts with a single candle. I can start by being sure to show kindness and love to others whenever I see someone in need, in both big and small ways.
Heidi Schuyler

May 29, 2022 – Return
In today’s first reading (Acts 1:1-11), Jesus ascended into heaven and two men dressed in white garments appeared and said, “Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky? This Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven will return in the same way as you have seen him going into heaven.” In reading this, I imagined Jesus returning to Earth the same way he left to go to heaven. What a magnificent sight that would be for anyone who witnesses it some day! I don’t know when Jesus’s second coming will be and it most probably will not be in my lifetime. But if it were to occur during my lifetime, I would feel so honored if I had the chance to witness His descent onto Earth. I’m sure I would be filled with much awe and wonder. Though I don’t know when Jesus will return, while we wait, I pray that I may prepare myself by loving all people, making a difference in the lives of others, and following Jesus wherever He leads me throughout my life.
Heidi Schuyler